AN: If I get corona virus I'm still going to write this. That means I need feedback still. I don't have it yet. Also I hope you can tell the being of this chapter was wrote by an asexual who knows absolutely nothing about horny teenage males.

TW: normal ones + throwing up/dry heaving + toxic masculinity

Monday

Gabriel is a teenage boy, after all. Like most teenage boys, he's occasionally horny.

Like most teenage boys, he has figured out how to satisfy this need.

Unlike most teenage boys, he was caught and dragged to the church for it. Down into the dark, smelly basement. It was horrendous.

"I'm sorry!" Gabriel cried, "I'm sorry father! Please! I won't do it again! I know I disobeyed!"

"You wanted to touch yourself, didn't you?"

"I know, it was wrong," Gabriel sobbed, "A sin."

"You should be disowned. You should leave. But not yet. Not you, my son."

The whip cracked against Gabriel's back. Tears rolled down his cheeks. "Please not again!"

Gabriel's father said, "Then start reciting."

The whip cracked again.

Gabriel shouted, "One! Thou shalt have no other Gods before me!"

The whip cracked harder against his, back.

"Two! Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image!"

Tears rolled harder down his face. The whipping continued.

"Three! Thou shalt not take the name of thy Lord thy God in vain!"

Gabriel's father said, "Keep going. Seven more to go," and cracked the whip against his son's back again.

"Four! Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it holy!"

Crack.

"Five! Honor thy father and thy mother!"

The whip struck down harder than ever against Gabriel's back. His father said, "Think about that one, my son."

"Six! Thou shalt not kill unless in the name of thy Lord!"

That was the only one that was edited. That was not the original verse. It was changed to make people not question what was going on inside the cult. If you open any Bible in the church, that is what is says.

That's what Gabriel always thought it said. He had no time to think. The whip cracked against his back again.

"Seven! Thou shalt not commit adultery!"

Crack.

"Eight! Thou shalt not steal!"

Crack.

"Nine! Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor!"

Crack.

"Ten! Thou shalt not covet!"

The whipping stopped. Gabriel fell on his chest. Blood poured down on to the floor. His father left him to bleed on the floor.

"Say your prayers, Gabriel," his father said as he slammed the door shut.

Gabriel cried on the floor for hours. He felt so alone.

"Lord, I know my father is using your name for money. I know his whole operation is unethical and puts your name in vain. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know I'm a disobedient rat, but I beg of you to let me in the gates when I come. I'm scared to die. I don't want to go to Hell. I've tried to do good. I'm just not good enough for my father, so I'm not good enough for you. I feel impure. All my money for college was made in your name and nobody else realizes it. Why can't you just go ahead and kill me so I can be with the others? Strike me down! Send me an angel to make me a pillar of salt! This isn't right! I'm hopeless! I'm a liar who told them the end is coming when I know it's not! They'll all die for nothing! I want to be as hopeless as the others!"

Gabriel then passed out.

Tuesday

Gabriel laid in bed groaning. He was particularly sick today. The whole day he spent dry heaving or throwing up blood.

"Lord please have mercy on my poor pitiful body," he groaned. This was one of the most miserable pains he's ever experienced.

Perhaps this is where his faith really started to fall away. He started to think.

Maybe there isn't a God. A God would have saved me by now. No- no that can't be. There is a God. I'm just a nasty sinner.

He did his best to roll over on his other side.

Maybe this is all about money. It could be. No this is about my college education, and getting people to Heaven. They pay us, we teach, I go to school to be a pastor, it all starts over.

He closed his eyes, holding back tears, because boys don't cry.

Maybe my father just wants to control people. Make sure they get where they need to go... I can't argue that.

Boys don't cry. Don't cry Gabriel.

That night Gabriel did not go to youth  group. He stayed home and pondered the world. He pondered the existence of God.

He reached some valuable conclusions within himself.

Wednesday

Gabriel had a difficult time standing up straight. With every movement the wounds on his back started bleeding again. It was incredibly painful. It was a pain he'd have to push aside. He had chores.

There was a large farm on the church property. The whole community pitched in to keep it healthy. Gabriel fed the horses.

Azira happened to be there too. He looked like he was seeing a ghost.

"Gabriel- oh you've been resurrected so you can lead us to Heaven!"

Gabriel asked, "What are you talking about Azira?"

Azira said, "I was cleaning around the church and I saw you beaten and bloodied through a tiny window. You were dead. Now you're alive. That's wonderful."

Azira looked up at Gabriel with hope.

Gabriel returned that hopefulness with a slap across the face. "Stupid boy, you weren't supposed to see that! I wasn't dead!"

Wasn't that the proper response? He's a man. Isn't that what men do?

Azira fell back into a pile of hay. The dried grass scraped his hands and elbows. The next thing he knew Gabriel was throwing punches and kicking Azira.

By the end of it all they were both laying on the hay. Both of them were bloody. Azira hadn't swung a fist. He just wasn't that kind of person.

"Gabriel..." Azira sighed, "Your back is bleeding."

Gabriel responded, "You're bleeding all over. I'm going to Hell."

What he did to Azira made him feel wrong.

Azira push himself up, but he couldn't. His chest hurt too badly.

"Gabriel, we're all forgiven. Once we get up there you'll be released from all the sins you're feeling. That wasn't you right there. Demons got a hold of you. We can go back to the church and fix it."

Gabriel said, "Azira I have to tell you something. It's all a lie. The whole plan, the rules, the life. It's a lie. It's about money. It's about my father having control. He's a control freak just like my grandpa, and my great grandpa. We can get out of here. You won't have to die yet."

Azira squinted his eyes closed as he sat up. "I- ow- believe there's still demons in you, Gabriel. In the name of the Lord I command them to be gone! -ow- once Gabriel returns I need him to get me help. I believe I've broke a rib."

Azira did in fact break a rib. Gabriel carried him all the way to the church. Azira's wounds were treated, and so was Gabriel's back. All of it was blamed on demons.

The two were doused with holy water.

That night, Gabriel's father whipped him again. He wasn't alone though. Azira was right beside him.

"It will teach you a lesson not to snoop!" Gabriel's father shouted.

Azira cried, "I wasn't snooping! I was cleaning!"

The whip cracked against Azira's back.

"-And son, this will teach you to not make someone already falling to sin more of a sinner!"

The whip cracked against Gabriel's back. Blood splattered everywhere.

"And Azira, we know you've thought in a homosexual nature. Perhaps this will keep you from acting upon it!"

The whip cracked against Azira's back again. Blood spilt from his mouth. He was out of breath. He was hardly hanging on.

"Help me..." were the final words he said before everything went black.