"She wasn't made for this world, her mind was too fragile and her heart too forgiving. She opened up her soul to the most unworthy, not because she believed she could change them, but because she believed in the tiny bits of beauty that even they didn't know still existed in their blackened hearts."
- Merceades Bennett

**

Luke's Point Of View

I walk up a path that has perfectly mowed grass on the sides of it and up to the big white house with large glass windows. The house is surrounded by trees and pots of flowers all well taken care of.

No wonder Sierra has the need to always do things perfectly, even the bushes around her house have a perfect shape.

I drove straight to the address Montana texted me from the airport and parked the rented car with my suitcases inside on the side of the road.

I didn't know how this was going to go and I need to be ready to get out as soon as I can. I'm taking a risk and this is probably at the top of my list of worst ideas ever but I need her forgiveness. I need her to know that she doesn't have to hate me, I'll leave her to be after this. I won't ask her to come back on tour either.

Stepping onto the welcome mat, I wonder if I should knock or ring the doorbell. Will they hear me knocking in such a big house? Probably not. Ringing the bell once, I stand back and pray Sierra is out and not at home.

No. You need to do this.

I don't know how she will react. Will she shut the door in my face? Scream and hit me till her little fists are red? I hope so. I hope she hits me till I bleed, I deserve it.

The large door opens and a middle-aged woman pokes her head out from behind the door.

She stares at me and I see the recognition cross her face after a few seconds. Her features are similar to that of Sierra's but they are like polar opposites. She doesn't have her green eyes either. This must be her mother.

"Uh, Hi. I'm Lu-"

She steps back and opens the door further, stepping away for me to walk through. "I know who you are child." Sierra's mother says in a sharp British accent.

"You must be Sierra's lovely mother," I smile at her, extending my hand to her.

"I am." She reaches out and shakes it firmly. This woman was all serious business.

"Is...Uh, is Sierra here?" I look around the circular room. Pristine wooden floors and white walls everywhere. The hall leads into different rooms and there is a large staircase that disappears upwards. There are pictures hung up all over the house and some of them are family portraits but the house is awfully quiet and kind of... lonely.

"Yes, she is. Stay here. I will go get her." She smiles at me and walks away and I watch. She has the same brown hair as Sierra.

I walk over to the staircase and look at the wall on the side. There are pictures of Sierra and a little boy hung along it. A picture of Sierra smiling during her graduation with her diploma in her hands but looking a bit annoyed. The next picture is of her when she was probably in her preteens with Adelaide next to her at a carnival.

All these things I didn't know about her. All the things she will never share with me because I will only taint her good memories.

"She isn't in the guest room." Her mother says from behind me, making me jump. I didn't hear her come back.

Guest room? Why would she be in the guest room?

"She has been staying there." Her mother explains, reading my confused expression.

"Go up the stairs and the first door on the left is her old room." She motions upwards and walks away before I can say anything.

I can't just go up to her room? What if she's naked in there? Crap.

Her mother has already disappeared through a door so I decide to go up the stairs. I pause to look at a family photo. Sierra got her green eyes and kind features from her father.

Turning left I see a white door with purple stripes painted across it. The purple paint is chipping and uneven like she had done it when she was a child. I smile at the memory of her telling me she loved purple that day at the theme park in Japan.

Running my fingers up the paint stripes, I take a deep breath and knock on the door. Closing my eyes, I pull back my hand and ball it at my side.

Help me get through this and I won't ask you for anything else. I request the dude up there.

The door doesn't open. A minute and two passes and I knock again. Still no answer.

Maybe she isn't in there?

My throat doesn't allow me to call out for her. What if she hears my voice and doesn't open the door at all? She must be out without her mother knowing.

I put my hand on the doorknob and twist it. Getting a peek inside won't be that bad right? I just want to see a part of her, memories she will never share with me. Things that matter to her.

I push open the door and look around as cold air hits me. The room is chaos. There are bits of paper... no posters, all over her bedroom floor and all over her bed. A bin nearby is overflowing with torn posters. The purple wall above her bed is a mess, purple paint ripped off and layers of glue and tape still clinging on.

What happened in here? Was she redecorating?

I step further into the room and see that the doors to the balcony are wide open and the cold afternoon wind is blowing in. The room has no lights on except for one coming from a tiny room to my right.

Was she here? Shit.

I walk over and see things scattered around outside the door as if someone had thrown them out of the closet in haste.

Manoeuvring through stray clothes and glittery high heeled shoes, I open one of the purple painted doors wider and look in.

It's Sierra's walk in closet and I spot her lying in the middle of it, her limbs wrapped tightly around a bundle of envelopes that are held against her chest and she is asleep. My chest feels like dead weight. Her hair is over her face so I can't see her. Looking around, all her clothes and belongings are thrown around.

Panic starts to set in as I understand what had happened in here. She went on a rampage. I was all too familiar with these types of situations. How long was she in here? Why didn't her mother check on her?

I finally find my voice as I push things away from my path to reach her.

"Sierra? Sierra?" I push a bunch of boxes away with my feet and step closer.

She stirs at the sound of my voice and lifts her head slowly. I freeze on the spot, not daring to move any further. I send another silent request to the dude up there that she won't freak out on me.

"Luke?" She groggily mutters, letting go of the envelopes in her hands. She straightens up a bit more and moves the hair out of her face.

"Yes, it's me. Are—are you okay?" I squat down a little to look closer at her face. The light in the room is very dim but I can see that her skin is pale and her eyes are red.

Fuck

"Luke, you're really here?" She gets up to her knees without breaking eye contact.

Something lodges in my heart at her words. Of course, I'm here.

"Yeah." I smile at her. She was so tragically beautiful right now it took all my self-restraint to not run to her.

A sob breaks through her lips and she gets up off the ground, rushing towards me. The whole world pauses for a second as her tiny figure barrels into me. Her legs and arms wrap around me and I stumble back but catch myself just in time. I wrap my arms around her shaking body, my mind screaming at me.

I close my eyes and sigh into her hair. "Baby." Her body is flush against mine and I feel like I'm flying. Her cold skin so close to mine and her warm breaths wafting against my neck.

"Luke." She cries and wraps her arms tighter around me.

"Shh. Don't say anything." I run my hands through her hair and push boxes and shoes away from a spot near the wall. I slide down the wall with her in my arms.

Sitting on the floor, I pull her closer to me, our clothes are the only barrier between us and I force myself to keep them on us. She is crying into my shoulder, straddled on my lap.

"Luke." She whispers again, pulling her face away from my neck to look at me. My eyes go to her neck. The necklaces are still there, she kept them.

"Sierra," I smile at her. She was beautiful, so goddamn beautiful. It's only been a week and I missed her presence so much. Her green eyes are darker than they usually are with tears and her face is red with crying. I feel her cold fingers on my scalp as she runs her fingers through my hair.

"I'm so sorry baby." I look into her eyes. Even if she doesn't come back with me or wants nothing to do with me. I need this. We need this.

"No, this is all my fault. I'm sorry." She says silently.

"If I wasn't always this emotional. I wouldn't have gotten myself into that mess with Ross."

I frown at her words. None of this was her fault. None of it.

"This is not your fault. I'm the cruel one here. I don't deserve to hold you like this. I'm a cruel person baby girl and I don't deserve even the tiniest bit of you." My voice shakes and her face gets blurry with the tears that spring into my eyes.

You're weak when you cry. Push her away. The voice hisses at me. But I push them away and pull her closer to me.

She lays her head on my shoulder again, turned towards my neck.

"I forgave you a long time ago." She whispers and I feel the previous tension in my body leave me completely. Her cold hands land on my cheek and I reach up to take them in mine so I could send some warmth into them.

"Why?" I ask because I can't help myself. Who would forgive me?

"Because we're the same. We can't control our minds, no one ever taught us how...So—so we're lost and we let them control us." She looks sad as she points at her head and then back at mine.

"Exactly." I nod, astonished that she understood. I wrap my fingers in her hair like my life depends on her warmth.

"How ridiculous are we?" I ask her after a few minutes and that makes her smile a little.

"Did you come all this way to tell me to forgive you?" She asks and I snap back to reality a little.

"Well, yes. I can leave if you want me to." I shake my head. I was sitting in her closet in London with her straddling my body. This is the one thing I didn't know I wanted all this time and I probably wouldn't move even if her parents came in here and decided to throw me out.

"No. Don't go." She quickly says and I wipe under her eyes with my thumbs. I hate it when she cries. It feels like the worst thing in the world.

Her hands move under my shirt and run up my chest so I take it off to give her more access. She sighs and leans in, wrapping her arms around me. I pull her closer and stretch my legs out in front of me.

"You should have just called." She chuckles.

"Would you have answered?" I ask.

"Actually, no." She deadpans.

"I really am sorry. But why does this feel too easy?" I kiss her hair.

"It's not easy Luke. The need to hate you is overtaken by my need for you to hold me right now." She tells me truthfully and my heart skips a beat.

Will she want me to leave after this? Please, no.

"I'll never be able to apologise enough for the shit I've said and done to hurt you."

She pulls away from me and sits up. My body suddenly feels cold and empty without her. But her presence is giving me enough peace so I lay my hands on her thighs.

She appears to be in deep thought so I take the time to look at this beautiful creature. My lips ache to kiss her soft pink ones but I hold back. She has so many cracks in her armour and I just want to tape them all up.

"I want to show you something." Sierra finally decides and gets up off my lap, moving back to where she was sleeping and taking the stack of envelopes off the floor. What were those? She held them like her most prized possession.

She comes back towards me and takes my hand in hers after I've put my t-shirt back on.

"Come with me," Sierra whispers and pulls me away.