"Love is not the burning. It is the hell after that leaves you in flames."
- RA Ramos

**

I open the bedroom door and poke my head in, "Luke?" The room is dark, the shades are drawn and there is an awful chilling cold in the room. I haven't so much as stepped in and a shiver runs down my spine, goosebumps forming on my skin from the cold air.

"Yeah?" A shape in the middle of the dark room asks. It takes a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the dark and I finally see him, standing in the middle of the room, mid-stride like he had been pacing before I knocked.

"Hi," I smile at him from the doorway. He looked confused and worried, an emotion I was accustomed to seeing on his face.

His strained features relax a little. "Hey."

He sounds calm, thank god.

"How—um, how are your hands?" I step inside the room, pointing at his hand.

"Can I be honest?" He breathes.

"Of course, you can." I keep smiling at him, trying to ease the tension. I probably looked like an idiot.

"They hurt like a bitch. These bloody painkillers don't work." He nervously laughs and my heart aches at the sound of it. I had broken my hand in pre-school once and it had hurt so much that if I closed my eyes right now and thought about it, I'm pretty sure I would still feel the pain.

He tries to lift his hand to brush the hair away from his eyes out of habit but winces at the pain. His hair is a mess, standing out at weird angles like he had been pulling at the ends of them in frustration. If it didn't look so good on him my hair stylist instincts would have driven me crazy right about now.
His clothes are ruffled like he had just gotten out of bed but judging by the dark circles under his eyes, and the worry lines on his forehead, I knew he hadn't gotten any sleep.

"Did you take them on time?"

"Yes! Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm not forgetful." He raises his voice like I offended him.

"I'm sorry I was just checking."

"What do you want?" He snaps, annoyance filling his face and voice.

Great, there goes the calm I was hoping for.

"I wanted to ask you something... about what happened at the ARIAs..."

"What do you want to know?" He asks, something flashing behind his eyes at my words. I send a silent prayer to whoever is up there watching and continue.

"Well, that song you sang on stage—" the abrupt change in his features stop me mid-sentence.

"You know what? I don't want to answer this shit right now. Get out." He points at the door, raising his voice again.

"But you just asked me what I wanted to know," I say calmly.

He closes his eyes. "And I changed my mind."

"In two seconds?!" I wanted to walk over to him and kick him in the groin but I was trying to be a civilised human being.

"I don't answer to you. Get out." He snaps again, pointing at the door. He was fine just a few seconds ago and I hadn't so much as said two lines.

"Is this because I asked you about the song?"

"No!"

"Then what is it? I have so many things I want to know! You can't keep pushing people away every time someone wants to have a civilised conversation with you!" I yell at him this time.

"You have never asked me anything."

"Yes, I have."

"No. You haven't." He argues.

"Then I'm asking you now. Why did you want me to hear that song?" I wanted to know why so badly. I wanted to know what those lyrics meant to him. I wanted to know what Ana did. I wanted to know why he couldn't have a five-minute conversation with me without getting angry.

"I told you I don't want to answer your questions. And I also told you to get out!"

"I'm not leaving this room till you tell me." I insist but I could feel my façade cracking with every single glare he kept giving me.

---

Luke's Point of View

"Fine. Don't leave then. Come sleep in bed with me too if you fucking want but I'm not telling you shit now that you've pissed me off!" I fume.

She had come in here, asking me how I was, so politely and here I was, barking at her to get out. All she had wanted to know was what that stupid song was, and I could have easily told her but I didn't want to. I couldn't allow that kind of connection between us, that song was a fucking mistake.

She scoffs at me. "Is that all you can think of? Sex?"

"Did I mention sex? I said sleep. I would never have sex with you." She blinks repeatedly at my words, dodging the hurt.

"I just wanted to know one thing and you can't answer that for me. You were the one that wanted to be friends, remember?" She stands her ground. So very stubborn.

I knew it wasn't just one question she wanted to ask, if I answered this, it would lead to another and then another, and we would end up being here all night. Not that I minded...

She has to leave now. If she didn't, the fight would drain out of me and I would be on my knees in front of her, giving her whatever the hell she wants. The evil in my head thinks of the crappiest thing I can say to break her heart, to make her leave and before I can stop it, it spills out. "Just because I made you listen to a song doesn't mean that I want to be your friend. Just because I let you touch my hair don't think I'm going to spill my heart out to you. I might have brought up being friends but that was only so that I didn't have to put up with your pissy attitude all the time and the constant lectures from my fucking band. Now get the fuck out of my room."

I could feel her sharp intake of breath at my words like a dagger in my chest so I turn away from her. She turns around and storms out of the room. I stand there for one... Two...

I follow after her, my feet carrying me forward without my consent. Shit. Why did I just say that to her?

"Wait!" I shout after her.

God make this pain stop.

"Fuck off!" She shouts at me over her shoulder.

"I'll tell you!" I say, trying to catch up to her before she rushes down the staircase.

She halts in the middle of the corridor and turns back to me, her face red with anger.

"Tell me what? To get out of your face? To get out of your house? Tell me what Luke? What more could you possibly say to me?!"

"I didn't mean to say all that—" I start, but it's a lost fight.

"I am tired of your shit, Luke! You don't care about anyone but yourself, you're a selfish bastard!" She yells at me in rage and rushes down the staircase as Calum and Montana rush out of a bedroom to see me standing there.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Calum rakes a hand through his hair, pulling a shirt over his head as Montana starts to run after Sierra

"Sierra! Wait!"

"What the fuck man?" Calum looks at me bewildered.

"I don't answer to you either." I spit out and stomp back into my room, shutting the door behind me.

---

Addy's Point of View

"My mum loves you." Ashton chuckles in my ear, wrapping his arms around me.

"I think I love her more than I love you." I laugh, watching his mum disappear into the crowd of relatives. I had met her for the first time and she had been a beautiful woman, inside and out. No wonder Ashton turned out the way he did, he was raised by a queen.

"Don't make me jealous of my own mother." He whispers, turning me around to face him.

"You know I'm kidding. I don't love anyone more than I love you." I assure him, kissing him on the forehead.

"I want to meet Lauren and Harry."

"They must be somewhere around here. We can go find them if you want." He looks around the room but there are just too many people around.

"...or not." He laughs.

"It's okay. I'll see them later." I lay my hands on his chest and he agrees. I could tell he wasn't that comfortable with all these people in here either. I was also worried about Sierra, her anxiety must be through the roof right now. Maybe I'll call her again. Her phone was switched off the last time I tried.

"Let's go get some food. I'm starving." He nods towards the tables stocked with enough food to feed an entire village.

"Alright" I agree and we start to snake our way through the groups of people towards the tables.

I pull my phone out to try and call Sierra but that's when I see her run down the stairs like she is being chased by something. Even though I was almost all the way on the other side of the room I could tell that something was wrong. She looked upset and her eyes were glued to the floor. There were only a few things that could make her this upset today and I'm pretty sure I knew what it was.

"Ash. You go ahead, I just saw Sierra, I'm gonna go talk to her."

"Oh. Alright." He lets go of my hand and I hurry back through the way we came and out the doors, almost knocking over Montana who is running the same way.

"Sierra!" I say motioning to the back yard and she nods.

"I was just upstairs with uh...Calum and she was shouting outside."

"Shouting? Why?" What the hell had she been doing up there?

"I don't know. Luke was with her. I think they got in a fight." She confirms my theory and we push our way outside.

---

"Sierra!" I hear both Montana and Addy call after me and I wipe at my eyes quickly before stopping so that they can catch up.

"What happened?" Addy asks, their hurried footsteps coming to a halt beside me. There was that question again. What happened?

I don't know what happened. Everything always just happens and the next thing I know, I'm rushing out of somewhere so people don't see me crying.

"I don't know what happened," I answer truthfully.

"Why were you two shouting at each other?" Montana asks. I hadn't seen her there. She must have been in one of the rooms.

"Nothing, Monti..."

"You can't always say that nothing happened when something obviously happened, Sierra! We are trying to help you not insult you or hurt you." Addy points out, pissed off.

"You want to know what happened? I went to see Luke because I wanted to know how he was doing and I wanted to ask him about that damn song but when I did ask him he got mad. As usual! So no, I don't know what happened. I don't know what is happening half the time! I wish I didn't take this fucking job in the first place!" I yell at them both. There weren't many people around but the few that were stopped their conversations and turned their heads.

"Don't say that. You took this job because it's a good opportunity for you. Don't let him discourage you like this." Addy whines.

"I didn't want to take this job. You all convinced me to do it and now I'm stuck! I'm stuck with all this shit being thrown at me and I can't get out!" Angry tears fill my eyes but I blink them away. I hated how I cried when I'm angry.

"Dude, calm down okay?" Montana puts her hands up in front of her.

"Calm down? Did you hear the things he said to me? Oh no, wait. You didn't. Because both of you are too busy screwing two of his band mates!"

Where is your bloody mouth filter, Sierra!

Montana and Addy don't look angry even the slightest bit by my comment but I see a clear disappointment and worry they have for me in that moment. Life might have taken away a lot of things from me but it has given me the truest friends I could ever ask for.

"I know you're angry, Sierra, but we are your best friends so you can take it out on us but don't you dare try to be like Luke and take it out on yourself. I know you didn't just mean what you said. You can't push us away with words we know you don't mean." Addy hugs me to her and I bury my face in her shoulder.

"I didn't mean that. I'm sorry." I sniffle, hugging them both to me. I didn't deserve them.

"We know. Stop being sorry it's not your fault." Montana wipes at my cheek with her thumbs.

"Do you want to go back to the hotel?" Addy asks, already pulling out her phone to call a über knowing what my answer will be.

"I'm gonna head back. You guys should stay." I didn't want them to leave early because of me and miss out.

"No way we're coming with you," Montana argues.

"I could really use some alone time you guys."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." I manage to smile and wave them off, telling them not to worry and walk off to wait by the side of the road for the über. I didn't want to go back inside and walk into someone I knew. I don't think I can manage a conversation without crying.

Michael was right, that was such a bad idea. Of course, Luke didn't want to talk to me. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think that he would.

"Just because I made you listen to a song doesn't mean that I want to be your friend."

He's a harsh human being. Two months ago if someone had told me that Luke Hemmings was capable of such a thing I would have laughed in their face. I had gone in there to come out with a clear head but instead, I'm more confused than I was before and angrier. His emotions were rubbing off on me so strongly I didn't know how to shield myself from it.

"Just because I let you touch my hair don't think I'm going to spill my heart out to you."

Deep down I knew it. I knew this would happen. I would go in there, thinking I had the courage, he would shoot me down with his ugly words and I would run out of there in tears. It was the same old vicious cycle, over and over.

I look back at the beautiful house and my eye catches a movement by a window on the second floor, I squint my eyes to see what it is but whatever it was, is gone, but I'm sure I had seen blonde hair peeking through the thick curtains.