"& all I know is that I am always better wherever you are and belonging is so much more becoming of who I am. "
- RA Ramos

**

Our limos pull up at the red carpet for the ARIAs and fans start screaming as soon as they see Luke get out. He had not seen me yet and I was excited to see his reaction when he did. This was crazy. 

Addy and Montana were in the limo with them and I was in the other one with Ross, Mackenzie and the rest of R5. We wait for the band to get down and for their limo to drive away before we do. I wanted to catch up to Addy and Montana but they are with the boys and were quickly engulfed by paparazzi the second they got down. Our limo pulls up at the front and one by one we get out too.

Even though my dress was comfortable I was already sweating a little in it. I had kept my makeup to a minimum and it was all nude tones so that it contrasted with the blue of my dress. It was a short lace sleeveless dress with a high neck and it had a dark ribbon tied around the waist. The hem of the dress reached just above my knees and had a transparent lace running around it too. The dress was simple and elegant, and I loved it. It was probably the simplest I've ever dressed up for an event like this.

Addy had suggested that I just leave my hair open so I did and curled the ends of it. The black heels she had given me really did go well with this dress but it was a bit too high and I had to nervously watch where I was going so that I wouldn't fall. 

Ross gets down and extends his arm into the car to help me out, I take his hand and slowly step out, careful not to place my leg on higher ground and trip. This felt like that day we had gone to the gala a month ago.

A month ago. Wow.

"You look stunning, as always." He whispers into my ear with a smile. He was in a leather jacket and skinny jeans. I didn't understand award show attires worked sometimes, some people go all out while others decide its just another day.

"Thank you," I smile at him.

Ross takes my hand and we walk towards the red carpet and some of the paparazzi notice R5 walking up. Flashes start to go off everywhere and the fans start to scream even louder if that was possible.

I look up and the flashes blind me almost immediately, I will never get used to this.

Groaning internally I look around the red carpet trying to spot Addy and Montana but I see Luke instead, they were doing an interview. He looks my way but looks away again like he didn't see me. A second later, his head whips back towards me again and I see realization cross his face. His gaze runs down my body and then back up to my face. 

He stares at me with a kind of intensity in his blue eyes that I couldn't describe for the life of me. His lips are slightly parted and he's chewing on the inside of his mouth, the lip ring catching the flash of the cameras and I feel my entire body flush under his scrutiny. The interviewer asks him something and I see him snap at her, turning his head back to me.

Don't be rude. I warn with my eyes, hoping that he got the message.

Ross stops in front of a man who I'm guessing is an interviewer and his arm slides around my waist. Luke's gaze snaps away from my face and falls on Ross and I can see the anger taking over his features when Luke sees his arm around me. I wanted to push Ross off of me but I didn't want to cause a scene in the middle of a red carpet with cameras everywhere. It wouldn't be good for him so I stand there, paralyzed as I watch Luke fume from a few feet away. He starts to walk towards us but Michael grabs his arm and turns him in the other direction quickly, noticing what was going on. Michael winks at me over his shoulder and pushes Luke lightly but with force, I can tell, into the building and away from me.

---

Luke's Point Of View

"Yes, so you boys were recently in Japan right? How was that—" The interviewers voice fades off as something in my head clicks. I had caught a glimpse of a blue dress for a second but looked away thinking it was someone else. But that hair...

My head snaps back to where I saw her and there she is, looking straight at me.

Sierra.

She was in an elegant blue dress that looked like the oceans were wrapped around her curves, flowing down her body like a waterfall. Her green eyes looked blue, almost like they were reflecting the color of the oceans. She was breathtaking.

"Luke, what was the best part of it for you?" I hear the interviewer ask again.

"Of what?" I snap at her. Shit. My head turns back to Sierra when I hear Calum answer for me.

She gives me a look that says "Don't be mean" I'm sure, and I feel a smile tugging at my lips. Always so well behaved. My entire being ached, ached to hold her. She looked so fragile and strong at the same time. I wanted to walk over to her...No, I wanted to run to her and wrap my arms around her.

She comes to a stop a few feet away from me and I see Ross move his arm and wrap it around her waist.

I was going to kill him.

I move towards them, not caring if people were watching. I'm going to break all his fucking limbs in half if he doesn't move them away from her in the next second.

"Luke. Not here." Michael warns in my ear, turning me and pushing us inside the building before I can fight him. Sierra lost from my view.

---

We walk into the building after a few minutes and Addy smiles when she sees me. Ross lets go of my hand so I can walk up to them.

"There you are." Addy sighs with relief. She was in a long baby pink dress with an empire waist. It looked beautiful on her like everything usually did, her blonde hair tumbling around her shoulders in wavy curls. I hug her and Montana, who is in a short black dress and black high heels. She always looked so damned sexy I could bet a hundred dollars that Calum had a very hard time leaving her behind right now. Her straight shiny hair was cascading all the way down to the middle of her spine.

My beautiful girls.

"Let's go get our seats." She says but someone clears their throat. There is a girl standing behind her in a black jumpsuit and black high heeled boots with her hands in her pockets and an eyebrow raised. She looked so much like Montana that I'm taken aback for a second. She gave off a 'touch me and I'll punch you' vibe but I could see the smile tugging at the corner of her lips. I look between the two of them, the girl was obviously younger than Montana but they had the same beautiful olive skin tone and dark shiny hair. 

"Oh. Guys this is my sister, Audrey Cases." Montana beams proudly. I had heard so much about her sister that I had already started to love the girl even before I met her.

She doesn't say a word but grins, giving us a peace sign like most rebellious teenagers do these days.

"You guys look so much alike! Are you twins?" I ask. I knew they weren't twins but yes, I thought I was funny so I asked the dumb question anyway. Audrey gives me a weird look so I shrug at her with a laugh and go in for a hug but she puts her hand out quickly for a handshake, I take it instead.

"We are not twins. Why do people always say that? We look nothing alike." She groans, making us laugh.

"It's nice to meet you," I say and she smiles sweetly at me, she was beautiful, just like her sister.

"She couldn't wait to meet you," Montana says from behind me and Audrey glares at her over my shoulder.

She groans again. "Shut your mouth, Montana." 

We walk towards the hall that the show was taking place in, looking for our seats all the while Audrey telling me a little about herself. She was a lovely teenager but someone you wouldn't want to mess with. She proudly tells me that she is sixteen years old.

Addy keeps going down the massive theater, looking for our seats and I realize that we are seated right somewhere in the front. R5 was seated on the other end with the celebrities so Ross goes off to take his seat after giving me a quick kiss on the cheek. I still couldn't see Luke or any of the other three boys anywhere. They were probably way at the front, already seated or backstage.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Audrey asks me, nodding towards the direction Ross left in.

"No. He's just a really great friend." I say and she nods at me with a sly smile on her face like she thought otherwise. I couldn't blame her. Everyone thought Ross and I were together and I didn't know how to defend it or tell him to back off with the affection he showed in public. He was such a good friend to me I didn't want to say anything and lose him. Luke was mad, I saw that look on his face. 

The seats eventually start to fill up and the lights dim slowly but I can still hear the fans attending yelling excitedly from above us. The show was about to start and Addy was whining about how she wanted to sit with Ashton so she could be with him when they won but they hadn't encouraged it. The band was to sit with management, away from family and girlfriends. Sad but true.

My phone beeps with a text message so I pull it out quickly, reducing the volume as I do so that it doesn't make noise when the show starts. My heart skips a beat when it says "Luke" on the screen. I open it without looking at the notification completely.

"You look beautiful tonight. Watch the show like I told you too :)"

I quickly type out a reply to him, grinning like an idiot.

"Thanks. I'm in my seat, watching. Good luck x"

He doesn't text back so I put my phone back in my clutch and smile to myself.

Why did he want me to watch the show so badly?

"From the smile on your face, I'm guessing that was your boyfriend." Audrey giggles from next to me.

"Nah. I'm single babe."

---

"—and the ARIA for Album of The Year goes to..."  We were all on the edge of our seats, all four of us clutching onto each other's hands. My leg was bouncing up and down like it does when I'm tensed.

"Five Seconds Of Summer!"

I didn't even feel it but I'm suddenly on my feet and screaming along with the rest of the crowd. Jumping up and down as best I can in these massive heels.

"They won! They won!" I hug Montana, Addy and Audrey to me and we jump up and down together, clapping and cheering like kids. 

The boys run onto the stage from backstage. They had changed out of their suits for their performance. Ashton was bouncing up and down, tying his bandanna around his forehead and grinning from ear to ear. Michael and Calum were hugging and Luke was smiling the widest I have seen him smile recently.

"This is crazy." Michael says into the microphone and everyone screams even louder.

"We can't thank you enough. Words will always fail us when it comes to describing the gratitude we have for you all. Our fans, families, friends, even the haters. Thank you. Thank you." Ashton's voice cracks and I see Addy's hand fly up to her mouth to cover a sob.

"We thought that we would sing a new song tonight for you. In honor of this." Luke raises the award in his hands and the place goes absolutely nuts, the screen behind them lifting upwards to reveal their set.

"This song, written by myself and Mr. Calum Hood here, is dedicated to that one lady. The one that drives you absolutely crazy. The one that makes you so angry that you want to pull all your hair out. The one that your mind tells you to steer away from, but your heart still runs back too. This is also, for the peace that we can never seem to find." Luke's eyes drift towards our side, looking over the crowd. He knew I was sitting here or he wouldn't have found me so easily in between the crowd.

"This is for you." He says again, looking right at me this time and my heart drops. I feel a fluttering in my head for some reason and Montana shrieks next to me with excitement.

I drive him crazy? Why?

Ashton starts drumming and the music starts. It didn't start off loud like their new music usually did, it was soft but with a haunting rhythm. It sounded like it had a purpose, a point that they wanted to make.

Luke's eye moves away from me to engage the crowd but as Calum starts to sing they come back to me.

Concealed feelings
Crumpled papers of poems about you.
Written with words that will never come true.
Written in ink that will never fade away.

I feel my chest tighten. The lyrics hit right where it hurts. The beat changes to a faster phase and Luke starts to sing, right to me again.

The explosion so loud at the other end.
Cries of pain on the other
Dead silence breaks our hearts
Save me, save me.

I feel tears fill my eyes as he sings. His voice had so much emotion in it as he sang. The entire theater was quiet, listening to them and swaying slightly on their feet, entranced.

These words are written in ink.
Ink that runs in my veins
The hopeful words,
I wish I could say.
Scribbled letters of black on white
Walk away, don't way away.

Calum starts to sing the chorus again and I feel my knees give up on me and I sit down. My legs couldn't hold me up anymore. My chest and my head and my body were just too heavy.

Did he write that song for me? Is this why he kept asking me to watch the show today?

I feel the silent tears slide down my cheeks as the song ends and everyone breaks out in cheers around me. I couldn't get up and cheer along with them. I just wanted to hold Luke and tell him he didn't always have to be so sad.

---

Luke's Point of View

"Congratulations man!" People pat my sweaty back and shake my hand. I smile at them and mutter a thank you, rushing into my dressing room and closing the door behind me.

God that was so hard.

I thought I could sing that song to her and be happy about it but Instead, I felt worse for some reason. Towards the end of the song, I couldn't see her anymore. Everyone else was standing and cheering like they loved it. They probably did but it wasn't for them. It was for her. If she didn't like it, I don't give a fuck if anyone else did or not.

I pull my soaked t-shirt over my head and drop it onto the floor. The other three were still backstage so I had a few minutes to calm down before they came barging in.

We had just won five awards but I just felt angry again. Empty. I wanted to punch something, maybe I should go find Ross Lynch and punch the shit out of him. It was bound to happen. I needed to get him off of her back.

She's not yours, you punk ass.

"Shut up." I murmur.

You always tell me to shut up but you know it's true. You don't deserve her.

"Go away."

Just because you write her a—

"Luke?" A soft voice whispers from the doorway and I turn around.

"Sierra?"

"Are you okay?" She asks worriedly, her eyes going from my hands to my face and back.

I probably looked psychotic, with my hands in fists at my sides, glaring at myself in the mirror. She walks into the room and takes a few steps towards me. Her eyes are red with tears.

"Why are you crying? What happened?" I ask her quickly. If it was Ross I was going to kill him today.

"I...no, I wasn't crying—"

"Well, well, look who we have here." A voice interrupts Sierra from the doorway, it slices through the air like a knife laced with venom aimed at my gut. I feel my blood run cold and my muscles stiffen, anger seeping into every cell of my body like I was being set on fire. No.

A/N:

You guys are probably like wtf is that song Luke sang. lol I came up with it. Those are my lyrics, I made them up because well yeah, future 5sos and all and I obviously have no life. Soz i know they suck but imagine luke singing something really sad to her and there you go x