"Ewwww." We groan in unison and I wrinkle my nose in disgust at what was happening in front of me. Calum and Ross were currently chomping on raw pigeon meat. I had absolutely no idea how they had pigeon meat on an airplane but they did and I was disgusted to no end. Sure, I wasn't a vegetarian but I wasn't a carnivore either.

"Okay, god, enough." Ashton finally orders with a disgusted expression. Even the boys were getting squeamish.

All of the Lynch family, Ellington, Montana, Addy, Ashton, Calum, Michael and I had decided to play truth or dare on our long haul flight from São Paulo to Japan.

The rest of the crew were scattered around the plane, doing their own thing or passed out cold. Brazil had been an insane four days, the fans had gone all out and so did both the bands. We were all pretty exhausted and it was just two shows into the entire tour, I had a feeling we wouldn't come out this alive.

Divided into groups of two, we decided to spend the time this way and have some good laughs but little did we know it would turn into this. Ross and Calum were dared to stuff their faces with pigeon meat by Michael and Riker, unfortunately for them. They had refused to do it at first but now, seeing our disgusted expressions, they thought it was funny to go all out and eat all of it. Typical.

"Don't you dare kiss me for another decade." Montana whines, making Calum stop dead in his tracks, a piece of meat halfway to his mouth.

"Are you serious?" He mumbles with a mouthful, his cheeks puffed. I almost fall off my chair from laughing too hard at the whole spectacle.

"Yes, I am!" Monti says angrily.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I'll brush my teeth like sixty-nine times and use mouth wash I promise." He whines, making us laugh harder. He had to use a sixty-nine in that line.

"I think I need to brush my teeth, just by watching this." I groan. I really did want to brush my teeth. They all laugh at me thinking I just made a joke as I get up and head for my bag that had a toothbrush in it. I dig around and finally find it "aha!" I say and turn around to show everyone.

"You're actually going to brush your teeth?" Ross asks me, his eyes wide. He was in a really soft knitted sweater and jeans with a beanie holding all his unruly hair in it. I wanted to cuddle him badly but I wasn't getting anywhere close to his pigeon breath now.

"Yes," I say and walk towards the other end of the jet, leaving them to their games. I pass the kitchen area and part a thick curtain to see Luke sprawled on the leather seat. His phone is still in his hand and he is snoring lightly, fast asleep. The creases on his forehead are gone, giving him a peaceful look and the angry sneer his lips were usually in these days wasn't there either, they were slightly parted now. My heart hurt, seeing him so peaceful and content.

Why did you have to ruin it for us, Luke?

He was lying on his stomach so every time he breathed in an out, the muscles on his back would move slightly under the singlet he was wearing. I almost reach out and touch his back but decide against it.

Looking for a blanket to put over him, I spot one in a compartment above my head and drape it over him slowly, afraid he would wake up. He stirs but doesn't wake when his phone falls to the carpeted floor with a muffled thud. Moving closer, I pick it up off the floor to put it on the table but the lock screen lights up at my touch as I stand up, looking down at it...

What the hell.

It was a picture of us. Why am I on his lock-screen? It was the picture we had taken with everyone after Luke had dared us to perform for them at my house the first day we met and I had ended up next to him in it, smiling widely.

Luke had been on my left and Ashton on my right in the picture but not in this. He had cropped everyone out except for the two of us. I hadn't realized that he had been looking at me that day during the picture, but he had been. My heart warms but I quickly put the phone down when a notification pops up on the screen. He is still fast asleep so I take a few steps back, admiring his angelic face. I wanted to lay down and curl into him. Fighting the urge to touch him, I walk away instead. Just like I always do.

---

"Twenty-two Celsius" Siri announces from my iPhone as we walk towards baggage claim at the Tokyo airport. It was a beautiful day here in Japan. Not too hot and not too humid, the sky was a clear azure. We were going to be here for an entire week since the boys had two shows.

"It's good to be back." Ashton cheers as he breaks up from the group and goes up to a crowd of fans. The rest of the band joins him, taking pictures, giving autographs and hugging them.

There are a few fans crying and I watch as Luke goes up to one and kisses her on the cheek, taking her phone to take selfies of them together. They truly did love their fans, if nothing else. My emotions were still in knots as I couldn't get his lock-screen out of my head. I had half the mind to stop him and ask about it but I let it go for now.

"Oh gosh!" A girl squeaks from behind me and I turn around.

"You are in Brazil Keeks! You are makeup artist yes?" She asks me in broken English. She was a petite girl with beautiful black hair and big brown eyes.

"Yes, that's me," I smile.

"Can I t-take a picture?" She asks, looking scared that I might refuse.

"Um, sure love." I agree even though I had no idea why she wanted pictures with me. She quickly says something to her friend in Japanese and hands her the phone. I put my arm on her back and bend my knees down a little to her height and smile widely for the camera.

"Thank you much!" she squeals happily after her friend clicks the picture of us.

"The pleasure is all mine, sweetie!" I hug her and the security ushers us into the black vans in the front. I get into one with the band, Addy, and Montana. I see Ross get into the one behind us.

"So, according to the time on my phone, it's still pretty damn early so we should go exploring," Ashton suggests, ever the adventurous one.

"I'm so jet lagged I just want a bed." Michael groans and I couldn't agree more. Sleep on a really soft hotel bed was all I needed right now.

"But aren't we always jet-lagged?" Ashton points out.

Michael considers this for a second, "Good point. Where do we go?"

Montana and Addy were all up for exploring Japan as they haven't been here before. I have, however, with my school for a summit when I was the student council president in eleventh grade. It was a time I didn't need to be reminded of. I pull my thoughts into the present before it could drag me back and ruin my mood.

Luke was in the backseat, awfully quiet with headphones in, ignoring everyone. He hadn't so much as looked my way since the show in Rio and I was quite happy with this arrangement but hundreds of questions tugged at my mind, going un-answered.

"Let's go eat first! I'm starving." Calum whines.

"You boys wanna go to that sushi place we went last time we were here?" Their bodyguard, Dave, asks from the front. Dave has been taking care of this band for years, he knew everything.

"Yes!" They all agree excitedly but Luke groans from the back seat.

Everyone engages in conversation and I choose to look out the window instead. Japan has always been one of my favorite countries in the world. It's unique culture and heritage have never seized to amaze me.

My phone pings with a notification, popping me out of my bubble of wonder. Digging it out of my pocket I see that it's from Twitter. The girl I had taken a picture with just a few minutes ago had tweeted it. That was fast. I decide to tweet something since I haven't in weeks.

SierraMcK: In Tokyo! This city never fails to amaze me! Absolutely Beautiful!

I tweet a picture I had taken out the window of the van with it and scroll through my timeline, stopping when I see a tweet from Luke about a minute ago.

Luke5SOS: In a van, here in this beautiful city that has too many shattered dreams and memories of mine living in it.

I take a deep breath and read it again, trying to understand what he meant by shattered dreams and memories. Wasn't their shows in Japan a year ago a success? What was he upset about then?

I refresh my timeline and another tweet pops up.

Luke5SOS: When the things you want are so close but so far away, No pun intended. She never fails to amaze me.

I draw in a sharp breath. Was that tweet about me? I just tweeted about Japan amazing me, but he doesn't follow me does he? No, it had to be a coincidence.

"Sierra! Sierraaaa!" Addy calls me, snapping me out of my daze.

"Yeah, babe?" I hum, blinking at her.

"I said, where do you wanna go shopping first?"

---

Luke's Point of View

When we get out of the van I see Sierra trip over her own two feet and I rush to catch her but Ross is by her side before I can get close. Ross... Ross Lynch... I wanted to put a fist through his fucking mouth and pull out all his teeth. He always had his filthy hands around her now and she let him keep them there. All I wanted to do was rip them off. I feel someone come and stand at my side while I struggle to contain my anger.

"You have that look on your face again." Mackenzie points out.

"What look?" I snap at her. She was our sneaky ass therapist so she knew me well, but not well enough. No one knew me well enough but even the bit she did, I didn't like. It was power I was giving someone else over me.

"The look that says you want to commit mass homicide." She jokes.

"Be happy that I tolerate you. Or you would be fired in five seconds." She was a bit weirder than the other shrinks, in a good way.

"Five seconds huh? No six? Not even seven point five?" She laughs and I ignore her, walking into the restaurant.

We come back to the one restaurant after a whole year and they still remembered us because of all the food we had ordered last time. This was the restaurant we had all fallen in love with the most but I wouldn't have stepped foot in this place if I wasn't hungry enough for a thousand elephants. Right across the road from here was where I had realized that I was madly in love with the girl I once thought was the one for me. The memories made my heart constrict.

"Stop it!" I whip my head towards Sierra, thinking she is in trouble but then I hear her laughter. Ross was carrying her to a chair at a long table they had put together for us. My blood boiled in my veins and I pull out my phone, staring down at it so I didn't have to look at them.

"Just cut her some slack man, she will be yours in no time," Calum says from next to me.

"What?" I snap.

"Oh come on. You heard me clearly the first time. I've known you for way too long. I know you want her." He nods towards Sierra and I feel the need to punch something again.

"How about you mind your own bloody business?" I mutter, grabbing a chair from the table and plopping down on it. Calum sits down next to me. Why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"You're my brother, you are my business." He reasons. My anger simmers down at that but I still didn't agree with him. I didn't want her. She was just some random chick...she wasn't anything special.

"She's a good person. Stop being a dick to her. You wanna push her away? That's fine man, but don't expect her to come back like we keep doing." He pats my back and gets up, joining his girlfriend at the other end of the table.

*
Two years ago

"That tastes so good." Ana says with a mouth full of sashimi that I just fed her with my chopsticks. We were in Japan for the first time and had just found the most amazing sushi place in the entire city. The rest of the band was busy eating and joking around.

Ana cuddles closer to me as much as she can from her chair next to me and I pull her closer. "You like that huh? Maybe we can take some back to the hotel with us." I whisper to her. I had plans for her tonight. She kisses me, which was her way of agreeing with my idea.

"We're in public can you two not be so in love?" Michael groans.

"Shut your pie hole." I laugh.

"Yeah guys, get a room, jeez," Ashton adds. He had just been on a "spiritual adventure" a few weeks back so he was trying to be a saint. Cave man, the fans named him lovingly.

Ana laughs at that and buries her face in my shoulder, blushing. She was the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. Her warmth at my side was something I had been missing my whole life.

"Why don't you tell that to Calum over there?" I point out. A group of Japanese girls had called Calum over to their table, probably thinking he was Asian too and two of them were cuddling up to him right now. He was enjoying it more than he should.

"Let's go," Ana whispers in my ear. Our hotel was right in front of this restaurant, we just had to cross the road.

"Okay, I have something to show you anyway." I agree and stand up, hoping that the hotel had decorated the room like I had asked them too, we say goodnight to everyone and leave.

I was going to sweep her off her damn feet.

---

Present Day

"That bitch over there is staring at my man," Montana whispers in my ear.

"Kiss him," I whisper back, giggling.

"Good idea." She laughs and pulls her chair closer to Calum. He wraps his arms tighter around her, stopping his conversation with Michael and Riker to give her his undivided attention. They were so good for each other.

Ross was sitting next to me and all but shoving food in his mouth. Boy, could he eat. The sushi I had ordered was absolutely amazing but I didn't have an appetite. My mind was on other things... I see Luke at the far end of the table, staring off into space. He was physically present but anyone could see that he wasn't mentally present. Everyone seemed to be in high spirits except us and it saddened me that I could be in such a beautiful country with beautiful people and not truly enjoy myself.

I hated where my thoughts took me. I hated my uncontrollable emotions.

"We should head to Shibuya later." Addy and Rydel discuss and the others agree. I honestly wanted to go visit the Kanda Book Town again. It was a stretch of walk filled with tiny shops stacked from floor to ceiling with books and nothing but books.

"Sierra, what do you think?" Rydel asks me.

"Uhm, I think I'll just go back to the hotel. I need rest." I make up an excuse.

"—I'll go anywhere with you guys after the show tomorrow, though!" I quickly add but they wouldn't have any of it. After lunch, the girls pull me to a car and gets me in while I whine and refuse and we drive down to Shibuya anyway.

---

Any negative energy I had, seeps out of every single one of my pores when I see the sun setting over the entire Shibuya city, the city lights turning on one by one, cars and pedestrians passing by in a hurry. The air smelled of a mixture of frying food, popcorn and exhaust. Tourists with their flashing cameras scrambling to take pictures. It was all quite comforting, reminding me of New York for a second.

The driver drops us off at the street where all the shops start. The dark alleyways behind them were lit up with lanterns for the night. I trail behind the others, taking pictures of everything. We waltz around the tiny stores, buying things, eating strange food we had no idea how to pronounce, and pausing to take a picture with a fan whenever someone recognized the band.

There were groups of teenagers lazed around. The girls had colorful wigs (maybe it was their real hair) with makeup caked on their faces and fancy clothes. They looked like real life Barbie dolls. Boys hung around in high-end fashion, tattoos snaking up their bodies and cigarettes between their lips.

This city had so much light and life in it that it was impossible to feel miserable. It was easy to get my mind off Luke since he didn't come along with us and everything was just too exciting anyway. We laugh, shout, run down the streets and take pictures and videos doing the most idiotic things. The boys give us piggyback rides across the scramble cross that Shibuya was so famous for.

It starts to drizzle lightly as we walk into a merchandise store that sold the bands merchandise as well. The boys try to prank the owner by convincing him to lower the price for them, saying that they were poor teenagers but the owner wouldn't budge, he recognized them the second we walked in. I got the whole thing on record that was later going up online for sure.

By the time we get back, it is just past midnight. I hug everyone and leave up to my room, the rest were going to go to a nightclub nearby. Addy was worried because I never turned down a chance to dance and get high purely on my adrenaline but I tell her not to worry.

The moment I close my hotel room door behind me and collapse onto the bed with all my bags, I start to feel the exhaustion. The amazing day spent with loved ones begin to disappear after a few minutes, the negative thoughts taking over again and I just wanted to sleep.

It honestly wasn't physical rest that I needed, it was mental. I was so weighed down by all my thoughts it took away my will to get up and clean up.

It was the twenty-first century, they really should have invented pills to get rid of depression instantly by now.

A/N :

Japan, I can't possibly describe your beauty and do you justice with my writing and for that, I apologize.

I really love sushi and Luke Hemmings

and you guys.