i like that
you're a little crazy
like your screws
don't all match
and your paint
is off white

-m.razon

**

"You look...stunning." Ross stammers, standing in the middle of the lobby and gaping at me like a five-year-old.

I couldn't help but blush. "Thank you."

Montana had chosen one of my long dresses that had an ombré effect to it. The black on the top faded to purple hues then white at the bottom. It was strapless with a sweetheart neckline, and most importantly was made by Eli Saab himself. I had managed to curl my hair and pin some of it up in a weak attempt to tame it.

"You look gorgeous." Rydel compliments me. She was in a long red sequined dress that had a plunging neckline and hugged her curves. There was a slit on the side of her dress that reached up to her hips, her blonde curls framed her face and her makeup was bright. She was the gorgeous one.

"Thank you. You look beautiful." I say, kissing her on the cheek.

"Shall we get going then ladies?" Ross beams at us. He was in a navy blue Tom Ford tuxedo that hugged his body in all the right places. His unruly blonde hair messed around artfully like he just got out of bed.

I take his hand and we walk to the limo idling by the front of the hotel. There are fans outside and sure enough, they start screaming their heads off for Ross and Rydel. I hear whispers of "Who is she?" and "Is that his new girl?" somewhere from the crowd but smile at them anyway as I get in the car.

~

"Ross look here!" "Hey, buddy camera on the left!" "Rydel you look beautiful!" Flashes from about a hundred cameras almost blind me as we get out of the limo, there were paparazzi everywhere. Great. I knew there would be tons at this event but it hadn't crossed my mind until now.

"Relax, they're only taking pictures," Ross whispers in my ear. That's when I realize how hard I'm gripping onto his hand. I quickly let go, apologizing.

"It's okay. Just show them your beautiful smile." He says, taking my hand back in his. They were so at ease with all of this that it amazed me.

"That's enough, let's go in." Rydel walks past everyone after pausing for a couple of pictures. We trail behind her, Ross still waving at fans and stopping for quick selfies with some behind the barricades. He didn't let go of my hand on either occasion and I couldn't be more grateful to him.

"You're beautiful. Are you guys dating?" A fan asks me.

"Oh! Thank you so much, and no, we're just friends." I smile at her. Little do they know that we met just a few hours ago. She looks down at our hands probably already thinking of how she's going to tweet about this.

When we finally make it into the enormous ballroom I'm taken aback. There are circus dancers twirling from the ceiling wrapped around gold glittered ropes with little to no clothing on, their bodies covered in glitter.

Golden drapes of the logos from different brands and sponsors are draped across the walls. Everything was shiny and golden that my eyes hurt. There is a miniature catwalk up at the front of the ballroom too. 

"Would you like some champagne ma'am?" A waiter asks me. 

"Yes please," I say and he hands Ross and I two flutes. I drain half the glass.

"Woah, someone's in a hurry." Ross chuckles.

"It's the nerves."

"Don't be nervous, these people here love the same thing you do. You'll fit right in." He reassures.

"Sierra?" Someone gasps from behind me and I turn around to see Josephine Skriver coming towards me with her boyfriend Alexander.

"Oh my god, Jo!" I squeal, running into her open arms and forgetting all about my grace. My first ever makeup artist gig when I joined Bradfords had been for a magazine called Elle Italia where they did a photo shoot of this beautiful couple back in twenty-fourteen. We have been close ever since.

"It's so good to see you here!" I say, squeezing her.

"You too!" She grins at me.

I hug Alexander and congratulate him on his Grammy award. His music was breaking records like nobody's business these days. They deserved every single one.

"Guys, this is Ross Lynch." I introduce, stepping back a little and remembering my manners. 

"Ross, this is Josephine Skriver and Alexander DeLeon."

"Hello. Alex man, I'm a huge fan." Ross shakes hands with him. I look over at Josephine, she was in a silver silk jumpsuit that showed off her gorgeous body. The one magazines paid millions to get a picture of. I notice something different about her posture, though.

"There's something different." I murmur, eyeing her up and down and she giggles at me, turning to the side and that's when I realize what it is. She has a baby bump.

"No way!" I yelp, my eyes widening.

"Yes way!" She laughs with delight.

"You're pregnant? Oh god, I'm so happy for you! How long?" I couldn't believe it. I have always loved and sort of envied the relationship that Alex and Jo had. It was a beautiful kind of love that was so filled with magic it crackled the air around them. This was expected sooner or later.

"Three months." She tells me.

"Wow. Congratulations!" I say to both of them.

After the initial excitement of the news that two of my dear friends were going to become parents soon fades a little, we decide to take a walk around. There were way too many people here that I have looked up to over the years and it was quite overwhelming. I meet a couple of friends that I went to university with too.

I'm deep in conversation about which stylist ruined this year's red carpets the most with an old classmate when Ross comes up to me. "I have someone I want you to meet." He whispers and I nod at him, exchanging numbers with Lindsay and promising to attend her photo shoot next month when I'm off tour.

"Are you having fun?" Ross asks me, his hand on the small of my back as he leads the way.

"Yes, thank you for making me come with you." I've had too much champagne to drink and I was feeling a little giddy so I grin up at him, fixing his tie.

"You're most welcome." He smirks and comes to a stop. I notice the Kardashians seated a table away, people and cameras surrounding them always.

"Mr. Saab, I want you to meet my friend here, Sierra McKinnon." My back stiffens all of a sudden and I almost cannot get the air in through my nose. My heart complaints too, beating rapidly. I take my eyes away from the Kardashians and slowly look at the man in front of me.

Holy.

"Hello dear, aren't you a beauty, and in one of my dresses too!" Mr. Saab says cheerily, looking me up and down. I stand there like a lifeless dummy until Ross gives me a little nudge.

Did he just call me beautiful...What?

"Thank y-you. It's such a pleasure to meet you, Sir." I say, extending a hand.

"None of that nonsense. Call me Elie." He smiles and pulls me into an embrace. He could probably feel my heart beating through the material of my dress.

"You are one of my biggest inspirations," I tell him excitedly. The adrenaline rush I was feeling at the moment was real.

"You aren't a model yet are you? Because I'm sure if you were...I would have heard about you already." He states, his warm smile unwavering. Even with wrinkles the man was handsome.

"Oh, no, Sir. I'm a designer and makeup artist."

"She works for Bradfords, uncle," Ross interjects.

Uncle?

"Right, right. Lilian yes? Love that woman. Feisty little thing she is." He laughs.

"More like demanding," I say with a giggle.

"Delighting. But I must say, you have to come by our headquarters one-day young lady. I wouldn't mind dressing you up for one of our campaigns." My heart jumps out of my rib cage and runs away. If there was a moment in my life where I needed speech the most it would be now but my brain was lagging, again.

"Of course! I'd love too." I manage to squeak out.

"Good, good. It was a pleasure meeting you love but I must get going." He says, kissing me on the cheek.

"If was an honor to meet you sir—Elie." I correct myself quickly as he lets go of my hand.

"Ross, tell your mother to give me a call will you? It was nice to see you son." He pats Ross on the back when he agrees and moves on to another group of interviewers.

I take a deep breath and turn to Ross. "I need another glass of champagne."

He laughs at that and grabs two flutes from a waiter walking by.

"Cheers," Ross says.

"Cheers!" I repeat and gulp down every bit of the liquid. 

"Did you just call him Uncle?" I hiccup after the drink burns down my throat.

"Yeah. My mom is sort of related to him. Our family is close with his." He winks at me. So he had all of this planned, but how would he have known that I liked Elie Saab?

---

It's two in the morning when we finally get back to the hotel. We had gone to the after party but hadn't stayed long because we had to fly to Brazil in a few hours. Rydel hadn't come back with us and I didn't want to ask where she went either because I was pretty sure I knew where.

"Thanks for being my date. I had an amazing time with you." Ross slurs, kissing me on the cheek. He was a little drunker than me, okay maybe a lot more. He was the nicest first date in the world and It was all very exciting so I was glad I had agreed to come. 

"No thank you for persuading me to come. I would have missed out on meeting all those people." I hug him.

"We should do this again sometime," he motions between us as I hand him his suit coat back."—but you know, minus the fancy clothes and glitter. Maybe a fast food date."

"Definitely." I beam up at him. Ross was a sweetheart. I was willing to go on another date with him. I ignore the negative thoughts my conscience starts to shoot at me.

"Okay then, goodnight. You looked beautiful tonight." He hugs me again.

"Good night. And you weren't too bad yourself, Sir." I giggle as he walks away and gives me a little wave over his shoulder.

I take off my shoes as I walk up to the elevator and massage my toes as I wait for it. I was going to have some serious blisters tomorrow. I accidentally drop my purse on the floor and bend down to pick it up. Dizziness washes over me and I grab onto the wall, stumbling into the lift. All that champagne was a very bad idea.

I make it to my room and knock on the door, hoping Montana is there but there's no answer so I fumble in my bag looking for the key card. I finally manage to get it into the door and walk in, closing the door behind me.

It was pitch black in here. "Fuck." I curse as I trip over a suitcase lying on the floor looking for the light switch. I finally find it and decide that I need to take a bath before going anywhere near my bed or I would end up sleeping like this.

"Did you have fun?" Someone slurs and I all but jump out of my skin, grabbing the lamp off the side table ready to smash it into the intruder.

"What the fucking fuck! Who the fuck are you?!" I half-shout. It takes me a minute to figure out where the voice came from in my half-drunk stupor.

When my vision clears, I see Luke sitting on the floor, his back against the side of the bed and a half-finished bottle of Vodka in his hand.

"You scared me to death! One of us could have died right now!" I shout, my heart still beating fast from the scare he gave me. The number of times he has made me feel this way was way too many times to even count.

He takes a swig from his bottle, straight vodka, without taking his eyes off me.

I put the lamp down with a sigh. "What are you doing in my room? How did you even get in?" he still doesn't answer so I walk closer with my hands on my hips. He needed to get out before my drunk state kicked in more.

"Are you deaf?" I question, but then I notice his face. His nose and ears are a deep red and there are tears in his eyes, streaking down his cheeks. My hands drop to my sides as I feel the energy drain out of me with every tear that falls.

"Luke. I need you to go now. Please." The pleading is a whisper. I didn't know why he was here in my room and I didn't want to find out. It was always to either say something rude or to get in my space.

He gets up off the floor slowly, supporting himself on the bed. I take a step towards him thinking he's going to fall but he straightens up and walks closer to me. Instinct makes me back away from him but he traces my footsteps.

"Don't come near me," I say, backing up against the wall slowly.

He keeps walking towards me and stops inches away. His foul breath from the alcohol washes over me and it makes me dizzier but his body being so close makes the space warmer. The need to pull him closer was so strong....I stamp on that thought and try to move away from him.

His hand reaches out towards my head and I feel myself visibly flinch away. He hesitates when he sees it but takes a stray strand of my hair between his fingers and slowly tucks it behind my ear. All the while not saying a word with tears still streaming down his face. I wanted to reach out and wipe them away. Why are you crying?

"I-I just came, to-to tell you that-that you look beautiful in that d-dress." He stutters and my eyes well up with tears involuntarily.  

His hand drops down to my shoulder and he runs it down my arm making goosebumps rise.

"Luke," I whisper.

"Don't." He mutters and takes a step back. There was so much pain in his expression as he looks at me for a second longer and then stumbles out the door, banging it closed behind him.

I feel something break with that bang. Maybe my heart, if it was capable of breaking this many times. I slide to the floor and pull my knees up to my chest. It was suddenly cold and my head was spinning. A headache that felt like a percussion band marching through my head.

Come back.

---

"Sierra, wake up! Sierra!" Someone shakes me.

"Ugh, go away." I moan. My head was pounding and there was a bright light coming from somewhere so I couldn't bare to open my eyes. The left side of my body was against something hard and it was numb.

"You slept on the floor! In your dress! Were you drunk? You should have called me!" There were too many voices. Too loud. I swat someone's hand away.

"Here, let me help you up." Montana, I think, pulls me up to a sitting position and I rub at my eyes. Things were coming into focus slowly.

"You get her changed. I'll pack everything up. We need to leave for the airport in an hour." I hear someone whisper.

Holy shit. Brazil.

I push myself up off the floor best as I can and almost fall back down.

"Woah there."

"What's the time?" I ask hurriedly. I couldn't believe I had slept all this time. Why didn't my alarm ring?

Wait...Did I leave an alarm?

"It's okay, Sierra. You're not late. Come on, let's get you changed." Addy takes a hold of my arm. Calum, Michael, and Ashton are there too. "Why is everyone in here?" I mutter. I was embarrassed that they were seeing me like this.

"You said you had an idea for our tour and told me to get everyone here but when we came..." Calum drifts off. Right, I was passed out on the floor.

Addy helps me into the bathroom and I stare at myself in the mirror. I looked like a nightmare. Mascara is smeared under my eyes and my hair is messed up in different directions. The dress is all wrinkled up too. I curse, pulling off the necklace and bracelet on my hand.

"Do you need help with the dress?" Addy asks from behind me and I nod. I was sad that I needed help to get a goddamn dress off. She is awfully quiet as I tie a bathrobe around myself.

"Spill it," I say, knowing she was dying to say something.

"Now isn't the time." She tells me quietly and leaves me a bunch of clothes on the counter, closing the door behind her. I take a long shower and brush my teeth, regaining a little energy and humanity. I go out to see the suitcases packed and ready by the door. That was fast.

"We should probably go...um, you can tell us later," Ashton says when he takes in my tired state.

"No, it's okay, sit down I'll tell you." I sit on the bed next to Michael and he puts a comforting arm around me without saying anything.

"Okay, so this was just an idea that crossed my mind so don't be disappointed," I say and they nod.

"I thought of three things. One is that you guys could do a free acoustic show. The fans live for your acoustic sets and I'm guessing you haven't done one in awhile...?" I question.

"That's a good idea. But the thing is we won't have the time." Michael looked sad. It was true. There were shows lined up almost every day. The band flew to another place as soon as one show was over.

"I thought about that too. So the second idea is that you could maybe give them something? Like a personalized gift. From you guys to them. Something that they can hold onto."

Ashton grins at that. He was the sentimental one in the band. "I'd love that."

"...and the third is... Well, maybe it's time to bring Derp Con back?"

Everyone stares at me, silent. 

"It was back in twenty-fourteen and not many fans got the chance to go and I know for a fact that everyone else was upset. Plus, you guys have lots of new fans now who didn't know about that amazing event."

"Okay before I say anything to that. How do you know all of this?" Ashton asks, putting his hands up.

I hesitate to answer. "I told you I'm a fan," I mutter

"You're a legit fan of ours?" He asks again like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"She had your posters on the walls of her bedroom too." Addy laughs and the boys join in.

"Laugh at me all you want but those are my ideas. Any of them would make the fans very happy." The boys remain quiet for a minute, thinking.

"Derp Con?" Michael finally speaks, looking at the other two.

"Derp Con." Ashton and Calum agree.