CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE || A SORROWFUL LIFE

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Alex followed the rest of the group into the yard, where her uncle had planned to speak to everyone. walking beside Glenn she smiled softly, despite the situation the group was in how she felt about life had improved.

Glenn and Alex stood with the rest of the Group in front of Rick, Glancing around she noticed three missing faces... Merle. Daryl. Michonne. nowhere to be seen. her eyes darted toward rick the look on his face one of pure worry, fueling the anxiety deep within her stomach. 

"When I met with the governor. he offered me a deal.. he said. he said he would leave us alone if i gave him michonne" Rick explained, his eyes darting around the group. Alex's eyes widened in disbelief, maybe he truly had changed. she knew the world changed people now, people were dangerous. but michonne, she was a part of the group now. 

"and I was gonna do that. to keep us safe.. but I changed my mind. but now Merle took michonne to fulfil the deal. daryl's gone to stop him but I don't know if it's too late... I was wrong not to tell you. I'm sorry.." Alex listened to her uncle in disbelief, her eyes glued to him. It wasn't like she had grown particularly Close to Michonne but if she hadn't turned up to the prison when she had, they wouldn't have known both Alex and Glenn had been taken. she and Glenn would both be dead if it wasn't for her. 

"what I said last year, that first night after the farm.. it can't be like that. it can't. what we do. what we are willing to do. it's not my call. it can't be. I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good. because we are the greater good. we are the reason we are still here. not me. this is life and death. how you live.. how you die. it isn't up to me" Rick looked across to her niece, the whole group taking in his words, a whirlwind of emotion rushing through the air.

"I'm not your governor.. we choose to go. we choose to stay. we stick together. we vote- we can stay and we can fight. or we can go." The impact of his words left the group in silence as he took a few steps back before turning around to walk away, the guilt he had even considered the deal ate at him. 

Alex shook her head as she stepped forward about to go after him yet Glenn's hand landed on her shoulder stopping her movements, turning to look at him he shook his head. brushing him off she followed her uncle, calling his name as he walked away from the group. Ignoring her, Alex sighed as she followed him to where he was planning on staying on watch.

"Rick. what is going on?" She questioned as she approached her uncle, a rifle in his grasp, placed against his chest. Alex was done with being kept out of the loop of what was going on. She needed to know everything so she could help. and she needed Rick to realise that.

"I'm keeping everyone safe. you... Hershel.. carl, Judith" Alex shook her head looking up at her uncle, she knew how much pain he was in. and the stress of being the leader, grieving Lori, and being the one everyone looked to for answers wasn't making his life easier.

"Rick I can look after myself. I'm okay... I need to be in the loop so I can help. and  I can help Rick, you know I can. if Eli was here, you'd trust him. you'd tell him what's going on. I'm not a kid anymore. " Alex huffed wanting to help, knowing how her skills could positively benefit the group. he knew it too, yet the fear of losing someone else, especially her killed him.

"I'm not letting you get hurt again, Alex. After what happened with the governor we're lucky." he sighed looking down at his niece as his gaze softened.

"without Eli, Alex we can't do anything for your back or your PTSD. I know you're friends with Glenn, Maggie. but pulling you from one of those attacks, those real flashbacks. I only ever saw you calm down with Eli." Alex sighed, a familiar pain in her chest making her breath hitch as she remembered what she'd lost... who she'd lost.

"my back's fine now. Do you think they would've let me keep my job if it wasn't?? And that doesn't even affect me anymore, I haven't had an attack or flashback since we got here Rick I'm good" She challenged. her heart aching, aching for her best friend. she'd lied, not completely, she'd gotten better... better at handling it, or better at pushing the emotion far enough away she couldn't link them to any flashbacks... but maybe she was just pretending. 

**

Alex sat on her bed in her Cell packing her backpack, Shoving clothes into the bag along with an assortment of other things she deemed necessary if things went bad and they ended up on the road. but the thought of ending up on the road again, with Judith, Carl and the dangers that came with that made her stomach churn in in a spiral of guilt and worry. 

Sitting on her bed she picked up a shirt, and as she went to shove it in her bag her heart jumped in her chest when she noticed it was Glenn's. The shirt he'd given her to wear when they were with the governor. holding the shirt in her hands she looked down it. all the events since they arrived at the prison flashed before her eyes. lori's words echoed in her mind, and then Eli's followed. she knew what he'd tell her, she knew Lori would agree. 

Taking a deep breath she put it in her bag before zipping it up, Throwing the bag over her shoulder she got up grabbing a rifle from the table, that weapon was essential, she was useless without it. especially while she was still healing...  she walked out to the yard where everyone was placing their possessions into the cars, Her military-issued jacket shielding her from the soft breeze as she placed her bag in the trunk of one of the cars. her mind racing as she thought of all the things that could possibly happen.  A hand on the bottom of her back startled her, pulling her from her thoughts. she turned to see the familiar Korean she offered him a small smile, everything had to be okay. he brought her into a hug, his warm embrace slowed her thoughts, almost stilling the ache in her heart as she basked in the feeling of his 

"We're going to be okay" he reassured rubbing Alex's back as he held her close. both unaware of the groups prying eyes.

**

a deep loud explosion filled the Air, Alex's ears ringing from the blast, her heart raced as old memories rushed through her mind as she tried staying focused on the task at hand. in moments like this, moments that reminded her of being at war calmed her in a way. in a minute or two her mind was clouded with adrenaline, Eli was by her side how he always used to be. 

her hands shook as bile began rising in her throat, gunfire rang in her ears as her clammy hands gripped her gun familiar emotions rushing through her body. Her eyes locked with Ricks as he threw a flashbang, there was her signal. She fired blind, Smoke covering her scope. She pulled the trigger without a second thought, her finger pressed firmly against the trigger, rapid-fire.  as she fired toward the governor's men. her heart racing as she heard them all scattering out of the prison their shrieks filled her ears as they rushed to escape the flying bullets... Panic-filled her knowing Glenn was outside continuing to shoot and scare them away. she cared more about everyone else.

Hearing the gunfire from outside she stayed put until it slowed,  the silence filled her with anxiety, locking eyes with Rick the pair jumped to their feet, she rushed outside, rick on her tail as they hoped their plan worked. Her eyes scanned the area until they fell upon Glenn dressed in riot gear, Rifle in his hand a smile on his face. they did it?

"We did it?" She questioned with a smile as she approached him, Rick following behind her, Glenn nodded with a smile as a laugh of relief left Alex's lips, she rushed into his arms, pulling him into a hug. relief washing over them. it wasn't the end. but it was the first win.

"we did it" Glenn smiled wrapping his arms around Alex's waist, the two smiled as Glenn lifted her from the floor laughing with happiness and disbelief. Gently lowering her to the floor they looked at each other, matching smiles as Alex contemplated kissing him. Yet a part of her was aware Maggie and Rick were close. Pulling away from him she turned to look at Rick as Daryl, Michonne, and Carol joined the group, Looking out into the field of the prison.

"We did it. we drove them out." Rick huffed a long road ahead of them yet the first win felt good. his rifle in his hands laying against his chest as his eyes darted between the members of the group.

"we should go after them" Michonne suggested, Daryl wanted to end it. Alex Agreed, Go after them before they've recovered. She and Daryl had managed to shoot a few. they're weak and the governor's ego was definitely shattered. 

"it is finished. didn't you see them high tail it out of here" Maggie was convinced, She didn't want to keep having to live like this. No one did. 

"They could re-group. we can't take the chance. he's not gonna stop." Glenn explained. He didn't like the fact Alex had to do this now, After Being shot. He didn't want to take the chance of being caught off guard again.

"they're Right. we can't keep living like this" Carol stated shaking her head, everyone knew this felt too easy. there had to be more. nothing was this easy, not even before.

"if we don't go after him he'll be back in a few days. we need to kill him" Alex interjected, Her words left her mouth before she could think. She wanted to kill him. She'd wanted to kill him since she'd heard his name.

"so we take the fight back to Woodbury? you barely made it back last time" Maggie challenged, not wanting to lose anyone else. maggie was right, but Alex didn't care. she needed everyone else safe. 

**

"Alex?" Glenn's voice rang through her ears as she put more Ammo in the car they were planning on heading to Woodbury in. if they could end this, maybe just maybe that would be the end and they could live...

"mhm" She hummed stacking the small boxes of ammo in the back of the car, a hint of hope floated around in her mind, the possibility of Glenn, carl and Judith being okay.

"I think we should stay.. after what happened before, with Carl, Beth, and Judith staying here we should stay in case he does turn back keep everyone safe" He explained making Alex turn, she wanted the governor dead, she wanted to be the one to kill him.

Yet the mention of Carl, Judith.. was the governor's death really as important as their safety?