"What a mess I made upon your innocence"

Albus spent the remainder of the afternoon shooting me looks I couldn't quite understand. Whatever he was trying to communicate, I had a feeling it wasn't positive, because he didn't seem at all inclined to talk to me. Rose was no better, of course. She would hardly even look at me.

Maybe I deserved it. Last night had been... crazy, really. I'd let the hormones take over, and it was probably a mistake. There was a possibility I had ruined my one chance with Rose Weasley. But I couldn't help feeling like something had clicked between us last night, long before the alcohol or lust or anything else had kicked in. If I could convince her of that... maybe, just maybe, she wouldn't give up on me so quickly.

Easier said than done, I reminded myself, a wry expression on my face as I approached the Slytherin common room. I spoke the password quickly and slipped inside, hoping to avoid any encounters inside like the one with Prissy last week. I didn't have the energy for it. I'd slept plenty well last night, but the hangover, combined with the mental pressure of the Rose situation and the fact that Al apparently wasn't speaking to me, made me want to crawl into bed and hide until everything resolved itself. Hah. If only life were that easy.

Luckily, the common room was sparsely populated, and I made it to my dormitory without having to face any unpleasant conversations. The only person inside when I reached it was Carson Rowle, who was digging through his trunk looking for something (knowing him, he would definitely never find it, whatever it was). He looked up as I came in, and smirked when he saw it was me. "Out late last night, Malfoy?"

I set my jaw, pacing towards my bed. "So what if I was?"

Rowle raised an eyebrow. "Oh, we're a bit touchy, aren't we?"

"It's none of your damn business if I am."

He scoffed, tossing his dark blond hair like the pretentious asshole he was. "Something's really got your knickers in a twist. Normally you'd be ready and willing to regale me with tales of your-"

Someone cleared their throat, and I turned to see Albus leaning against the doorframe, fiddling with his prefect badge. "As much as I hate to break up this clearly enthralling conversation, Carson, Teresa is out in the hallway and wants to talk to you. I told her I'd send you out."

Rowle groaned. "What the fuck did you do that for? Now I've gotta go."

My friend didn't look amused. "If you're so averse to talking to her, why don't you just break it off?"

"We are not together," the blond boy whined, slamming the top of his trunk shut. "The girl just does not understand the concept of no strings attached." Grumbling to himself, he brushed past Albus and out the door.

I rolled my eyes, a snide comment about Rowle on the tip of my tongue, but paused when I realized that Al had shut the door and was staring at me, arms crossed. I made a face. "Is Teresa even out there, or did you just want to get rid of the potential witness so you could kill me at your leisure?"

My best friend sighed, walking over to lean against his bedpost but never taking his eyes off of me. "Contrary to what you may think, I'm not angry. I'm just-"

"I swear, Albus, if the word disappointed is about to come out of your mouth..."

"I know it makes me sound like a dad," Al said, "but there's no other way to put it. I thought you could handle yourself... I thought you were capable of proving your worth... I still do think you can, and you are... but you failed to show it. Merlin knows I've put up with plenty of bullshit from you, Scorp, but... screwing my cousin on the first date? That might be a new low."

I ran my fingers through my hair, frowning. "Look, it's not that simple, okay? We both drank a lot... I wasn't thinking straight. It just happened. At her initiation, I might add. Not mine. So don't go acting like I'm the only one to blame here."

Al scoffed. "How about you don't go acting like any of that is an excuse? You could have stopped it, and you know that very well. You should have stopped it. The fact is, you just didn't want to. You were being selfish, at the cost of Rose's reputation and her self-esteem. That's not excusable under any circumstances, and honestly, I will be furious if you try to argue with me any longer on this... So, don't."

I buried my head in my hands. "I'm not arguing... You're right. It was really fucking stupid, and I know it." Swallowing, I looked back up at him. "You talked to her, didn't you? How... how upset is she?"

My best friend frowned. "More than she lets on, I think... but she hardly seemed angry with you. She's humiliated, and she blames herself for the whole thing. She didn't say so, but I can see she's terrified somebody is going to find out. She's probably worried about her parents."

I couldn't help grimacing at that. "I'm really fucked if they find out, aren't I?"

Al nodded pensively. "Aunt Hermione wouldn't even know what to say... Uncle Ron would probably hex first and ask questions later. So, yeah. You'd better hope they never find out what you've done to their perfect, brilliant, virtuous daughter."

"Merlin... you make it sound like I've done something completely unspeakable."

He stared at the ground, tucking his hands in his pockets. "Not unspeakable, but perhaps unforgivable."

I rubbed my eyes, trying to tone down the anxiety that was building within me. "Do you really think that?" I asked him, my voice more hoarse than I would have liked it to be.

Albus shrugged, lifting a hand to push his dark hair back from his forehead. "That's Rose's call and no one else's... but I wouldn't get your hopes up, Scorp. It won't be easy for her to trust you again. Or to trust herself."

On that happy note, he turned away, making it clear that the conversation was over. He'd said all he wanted to say on the subject. Now it was time for me to do something about it.

---

The next morning, I sat in DADA and watched Rose determinedly ignore me. I thought I was being rather sneaky about it, until Al tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned, he was giving me a look. He held out a piece of crumpled parchment, and I took it, curious.

I swear, Al, if your asshole best friend doesn't stop staring at me, I'm going to send a reducto at his balls.

I suppressed a snort, and smirked when it made Rose glance back at me, glaring. I turned the paper over, snatched my quill, and scribbled out a reply: You'd never follow through on that... they gave you far too much pleasure.

I tapped the paper with my wand to send it back to her, and watched her open it. I could tell from the aggressive intensity with which she wrote her response that she was not amused.

Don't be such a prick, Malfoy - and didn't I tell you to stop staring at me?

I scoffed and wrote, It's not my fault that you're beautiful. Now that I've seen all of you, can you blame me for not wanting to look away?

I couldn't see her face, but I would have bet money she turned beet red. I expected another resentful reply, but instead, she crumpled up the paper and stuffed it in her bag. I bit my lip, and started to take out another piece of parchment, but Albus stopped my hand. I shot him a questioning glance, and he simply shook his head. Sighing, I turned my attention to Professor Howell, and tried not to think about the redheaded girl in the front row for the rest of the class.

When we were released, Albus said something I didn't catch and slipped away, leaving me to trudge to the next class alone. However, my solitary journey was brought to an abrupt halt when I heard someone hiss my name.

"Malfoy!"

I whirled in the direction of the voice, startled, and found a scowling Rose Weasley staring back at me.

"...Hey," I said in a cautious tone. "What's-"

Before I could even finish my question, she had grabbed my arm and pulled me through the door of an empty classroom, slamming it shut behind her. "When are you going to grow up, Malfoy?"

I put my hands up in surrender, open-mouthed. "What are you on about?"

The redhead exhaled sharply, then said, "Do I have to spell it out for you? I want you to leave me alone."

"What do you think I've been doing?" I snapped, entirely disbelieving. "Accosting you in the corridor and dragging you away to chat? I haven't said a word to you since you walked out the door of the Room yesterday, and I would have been perfectly willing to continue that trend if you hadn't pulled me in here."

Rose scowled. "And what about those ridiculous notes from earlier? I suppose they don't count because you didn't actually speak to me?"

I continued to gape at her, trying to comprehend the situation. "Bloody hell, is that what you're on about? The stupid notes? Merlin's beard, I wouldn't have sent them if I'd known you were so averse to the idea."

"It's not the idea that's the problem," she huffed, clearly exasperated. "It's the fact that you think it's perfectly okay to write that sort of thing-"

"What, the part about pleasuring you or the part about seeing-"

"It doesn't matter! I don't want to hear any more of it! Haven't I made it clear enough how I feel about... about what we did?"

I crossed my arms. "Yes, Rose, you have. Abundantly so. But I still don't understand what you want from me right now."

"I want-" Rose broke off, twirling a strand of red hair around her finger as she collected her thoughts. "I want you to stop acting like there's something between us. I want to be able to walk into a room without feeling like your gaze is stripping me naked. I want... I just want to forget it, okay? Just... to pretend it never happened."

A million arguments came to mind. A million reasons I couldn't, shouldn't, and wouldn't forget anything. But in the end, I swallowed them all. Because it didn't matter how much I wanted this, did it? If she didn't want it, then that was that. Setting my jaw, I nodded slowly. "Fine," I sighed. "If that's really what you want."

I met her eyes as I spoke, and was surprised when she stepped closer to me in a movement that seemed almost unconscious. There couldn't have been 25 centimetres of space between us. "It... it is." Her words sounded breathy, and almost questioning.

"Really?" I asked, my voice low.

"I-" she faltered, looking away. "I mean it."

She didn't sound convinced. I moved slightly closer to her, lifting my hand to tuck a strand of red hair behind her ear. "Are you sure?" I breathed.

Rose's eyes darted to my lips, and for a minute I really believed she might kiss me. But all too suddenly, she stepped back, slapping my hand away from her face. "Don't touch me," she hissed.

I swallowed, trying to keep the disappointment out of my tone as I said, "Okay, okay! Bloody hell. I'm sorry."

"You'd better be." She scowled at me, crossing her arms. "Can't you take a hint? Or are you so conceited that you can't help believing every girl in the whole bloody world wants to be with you, even if they explicitly say otherwise?"

I scowled back. "Oh, I'm conceited? You're the one who's too worried about your goddamn reputation to give me a serious chance! As if anyone would actually care."

Rose made a frustrated noise. "Oh, for Merlin's sake, will you just stop? You have no idea... you aren't... you don't know me, Malfoy. You think you do, but whatever version of me is in your head... it's not me. Whatever idea you have about me secretly wanting you... it's not real. So just... just stay the fuck out of my life, okay?"

I couldn't help flinching at the words; they were too close to the worries that were already plaguing me for comfort. She stood waiting for a response, but it took me a minute to think that far. How does one respond to the literal iteration of one's greatest fears?

In the end, I said "Okay" in the most steely voice I could muster and walked out the door without another word.