Two days after the debacle caused by James Potter, when we were out on a stroll after Willow was in bed, Rose told me her part of the story. I’d already heard a good deal of it from Al, but he of course didn’t know what had been said after his departure. When she related the conversation, all I could do was shake my head. “You’re really something, you know that?” I said, shooting her a fond smile.

Rose shrugged, as if it were no big deal. “I couldn’t let it go any further. The family has suffered enough from his carelessness… Especially Albus.” She frowned. “How is he? I tried to get ahold of him yesterday, but his parents hadn’t seen him. I figured he was with you.”

I sighed. “He wasn’t with me for long. Maybe twenty minutes. He told me what happened, and I did my best to comfort him, but he… we aren’t… it’s complicated. Like I said, he left after less than half an hour. I guess he went to Jacob’s place.”

“Why is it complicated?”

Why must she always ask the questions I’d rather not answer? I hesitated before saying, “If I ask you to not ask me that question, will you let it be?”

Rose stopped walking, and turned to face me. “I thought we were past the point of keeping secrets from each other,” she said softly. The hurt was clear in her voice.

I reached up and ran my fingers through my hair, frowning. “Rose, I-”

Her expression was walking the fine line between sad and angry as she spoke. “Please don’t say something completely idiotic about it being better for me not to know. I already know it’s got something to do with me; I’ve known it ever since the first time I spoke to Albus after you left. I don’t want to be in the middle of my cousin’s friendship with my- with you. Don’t you think it’s best to be honest with me?”

“Of course I do, but-”

“I don’t want any lame excuses. What is it that you’re so afraid of?”

I scowled. “I’m not afraid, I’m just-”

“You say that, but clearly you are. You’re afraid of what I’ll say or do, or that if I have this knowledge it will change something between us. Don’t you trust me, Scorpius?”

Salazar, I wished I could run away from this conversation. Did I trust her? And if I didn’t, what did that mean for us? After a long, tense moment of silence, I looked her in the eyes and did the only thing I could do - I told her the truth. 

“I didn’t exactly run away for the reasons I gave before. I ran away because, well-” I swallowed, gathering my courage, “because I’d realized that I wasn’t in love with you anymore. I tried so hard to feel something that night, but I didn’t, and… I had never hated myself so much. Albus and I fought about whether I should tell you, because I was a coward and I didn’t want to. And now I have told you, and you’ll probably never want to speak to me again, and I fully deserve it because I’m a bloody selfish bastard. Merlin… I’m so sorry.”

Rose’s expression was blank; a mask. She stared at me for what felt like a long time, not speaking. The silence was stifling.

“Say something,” I begged. 

She laughed, but it sounded forced. Pained. “I don’t know what you want me to say.” A tear slipped down her cheek, and she looked away from me.

“Rose-” My voice caught in my throat, and I found my vision blurring with tears. “If this isn’t something you can forgive, I understand that. I just want you to tell me. Don’t act like it’s okay if it’s not.”

The girl I’d once loved would not meet my gaze. “Okay? Of course it’s not okay, Scorpius. You should have just told me in the first place; I wouldn’t have been angry with you.”

“I couldn’t be sure of that,” I said weakly, knowing I had no right to defend myself but feeling the need to. “I was so afraid that you would hate me… and all I’ve done by waiting so long to be honest with you is guarantee that. It’s my own fault…”

Finally, Rose looked at me, and her eyes were surprisingly soft. “I don’t hate you,” she said in a quiet voice. “I wish I did. It would be so much easier to let you go.”

I let out a small sigh of relief and stepped forward, reaching to brush a stray tear from her cheek. “This doesn’t mean the end of us, Rosie. Not being in love with you doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. It’s just a little difference. A tiny piece of knowledge that doesn’t change much.”

She shook her head. “But we’ve tried this before, haven’t we? The just-friends thing. And it hasn’t worked. I don’t know if we should… if you should…”

My heart sank as she spoke. Even though she didn’t finish the thought, I knew where she was going with it. “Is this the part where you ask me to keep my distance?” I asked, the words tasting bitter on my tongue.

She bit her lip. “I don’t want to, Scorpius. But look at us! We’ve spent the past year trapped in this endless cycle of feelings, and we just keep hurting each other. Even if you don’t love me the way you once did, and even if that knowledge doesn’t wound me the way I expected it to, I don’t think we can escape the cycle by letting things go on the way they have.”

“What about Willow?” I wouldn’t even mind her asking me to stay away if it wasn’t for my daughter, but I couldn’t stand not being able to see her.

Rose sighed. “Willow is who I’m thinking of when I say these things. If it was just you and me, maybe I wouldn’t worry so much about the insanity of our feelings- but it’s not. If we don’t move on from all that’s passed between us, we’re left wrestling with it forever, and it will only get more painful for both of us as time passes. Willow shouldn’t have to live with our unresolved feelings. And I don’t think it’s possible for either of us to truly move on when we’re constantly in each other’s company. I hope that in a few years we may both have truly put it behind us and we can be friends and both of us can be there for her, but for now… out of love for our daughter, we can’t go on like this. You understand that, don’t you?”

I did understand. I guess I’d known it was coming, sooner or later. But still, the idea of being separated from Willow - and from Rose, who I loved as a family member if nothing more - was a difficult one to accept. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this,” I said.

“I know.” Rose’s voice was gentle, and her eyes were sad. “Nothing can stay the same forever, I suppose. It was good while it lasted.”

“Indeed it was.” I stared at her for a moment, a trace of a melancholy smile on my lips, then kissed her cheek softly. I began to step away, but Rose’s arms caught me in a tight embrace, and I was glad enough to linger in it. I couldn’t help wishing it could have been different, but all the same I would always be grateful for what we’d had. 

Struck by a worry, I whispered, “You won’t forget me, will you?”

“Never,” she replied.

And that was all I needed to know.

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So, here's the deal... this is the last real chapter of this story. Surprise? 🙂 There will be at least one more chapter I'll publish, a sort of epilogue. I may also write some random bonus chapters, just for fun. But yeah, this is pretty much the end, so I just wanted to send love to all my loyal readers ❤️❤️ y'all are great! I hope you're all surviving quarantine :) And make sure to keep this in your library so you know when there's new content!