I had not seen Scorpius in almost two weeks.

In all honesty, it was almost relieving in a way. The thought of the night we’d spent together was sweet and constant, but at times it seemed as blurred as a memory of a dream. And as nice as it had been, there seemed to be something profoundly off about it - a fact I had realized as soon as I’d left him in the basement and had a few minutes to clear my head. 

It wasn’t that I regretted it; I assuredly did not. And it wasn’t that I didn’t love him, for I was almost certain that I did. But still, looking back on it, it seemed wrong. Scorpius had been distracted for days, but had been strangely reticent about what was troubling him… And even the morning after, he could hardly look me in the eye.

So when he hadn't showed up the next day, or the day after that, I hadn't been very surprised. I knew him. I knew something must have shaken him, though I couldn't think what it was. I also knew that Albus probably knew all of it, and my cousin was trying hard to avoid me without looking like that was what he was doing.

At the moment, though, I had little time to worry about such things. My grandfather was, although we hadn't wanted to admit it, on his deathbed. The Dragon Pox were beyond the point of defeatability, and he would be gone in a few days time. My mum and Aunt Ginny had been tasked with travelling to Hogwarts in order to collect my school-aged cousins and bring them to say their goodbyes. I, meanwhile, having left Willow in the capable hands of Aunt Audrey, had taken charge of Lucy.

My cousin seemed in a much better mindset these days. Ever since the day Scorpius spoke to her, there had been a new determination in her - a strong will not to be weighed down by the things that had brought her to such a low place. She still had said nothing, to me or her parents, about what had affected her so, and that still worried us, but we knew she wouldn't speak before she was ready.

They weren't going to send her back to the school where she'd been. Whatever had hurt her so deeply was undoubtedly connected with the school, and they weren't going to risk sending her back into that environment. They'd hired a private tutor, and they intended to keep the woman until Lucy was ready to graduate.

At the moment, my cousin and I were walking along a bustling London street, taking the longer and more scenic route to St. Mungo's. We'd been strolling in pleasurable silence, and then she asked an unexpected question. "Rosie, why don't you come with Scorpius when he visits anymore?"

I blinked. I didn't know that he was visiting her. "Does he come very often?"

"He's been by every three days or so. Aren't you talking to him as much as you were?"

I shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. He's been away."

Lucy frowned. "Did you quarrel or something? I did think it strange that he hasn't mentioned you once the whole time."

"No, Luce, we didn't quarrel. We've just been... keeping our distance, I guess. Things have been confusing lately."

"I don't see how there can be anything so confusing about it," she said. "He's loved you for ages; you've fallen in love with him. You have a daughter. I really can't understand why you don't just get married."

I sighed, hoping it didn't sound sad. "It's a lot more complicated than that. I wish I could explain it, but I'm not sure I quite understand the whole thing myself."

"But why-"

"Oh, here's the hospital," I said quickly, before she could finish her question. "We'll talk later, Luce. Let's go see Grandpa."

• • •

When we reached my grandfather's room, there was someone else just leaving. It was Albus, and his face was wet with tears. Lucy ran forward to hug him, and he clung tightly to her. Al was always very close to Grandpa, and I knew this was hurting him more than it would hurt some of the other cousins.

I came up to them as they pulled back from the hug, and smoothed down Lucy's hair. "You go in, alright? I'll be just a second."

Albus looked nervous upon hearing my words, but I laid a gentle hand on his arm as Luce entered Grandpa's room. "Don't worry, I'm not going to ask about Scorpius. I don't need to know. I just wanted to ask how you're doing."

My cousin's eyes were grateful, and sad. "I'm fine..."

"Don't give me that bullshit, Al. Be honest."

He sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. "I dunno. This... it just sucks. And there's stuff going on with Jacob, too, that's just making it worse. And James-" Al's voice cracked. "I could kill my brother sometimes, Rose. My parents deal with enough crap without having to worry about what a mess he's making of his life. He could be dead, for all we know. We haven't heard a word from the bastard in more than a month. And the press is going to town, of course, printing all sorts of nasty things about him and about my dad..."

Not knowing at all what to say, I pulled my cousin into my arms. I had been watching the tensions between James Potter and the rest of the family unfold for years. He was a complete arse, and I thought he probably deserved whatever atrocities the tabloids had cooked up in relation to him. But I knew the pain of being in the public eye, and I also knew that it sometimes was far worse to be the one sitting on the sidelines and watching the people you loved getting torn apart.

"I'm sorry, Al," I sighed. "You don't deserve this."

"It's not your fault that life sucks," he said, tone melancholy. "Anyways, I'm sorry for dumping that on you. I've been a bit low on confidants lately."

I frowned. "Have you quarreled with Scorpius?"

Albus ducked his head. "No... He's just been out of town, is all."

I knew when Al was lying, and he definitely was now. But why not tell the truth? I had always been willing to listen, and he had always been willing to confide in me. Why not about this?

Thinking about it, there was only one conceivable reason that he would stay quiet - their fight must have had something to do with me. I bit my lip. If I pressed, I would get it out of him. But did I want to? Maybe it was best left alone.

I squeezed Al's hand, then let it go. "I'm going to go in now," I said quietly. "Remember, I'm here whenever you want to talk, okay?"

"I know," he said, but there was something wary in his tone. He was worried that I was going to question him further.

I wanted to know, I realized. My curiosity had been piqued. But it wouldn't be fair to ask him. It would be mean, to make him choose between his loyalty to Scorpius and to me.

So I just smiled softly at my cousin and left him in the hall. I would find out the truth of the matter eventually, but for now, I had more important things to do.