TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM AND SUICIDE

I shivered as I knocked on the Potter's front door, the chilly air of the March evening biting my bare face. Luckily, it took only a moment for the door to open, revealing my aunt.

Aunt Ginny was as beautiful now as she had been in her Hogwarts days, and her eyes sparkled with life as she embraced me. "Rosie! How are you, darling? You should have brought Willow with you; it's been ages since I spent time with her."

"I'm marvelous... and yes, I'm sorry I left her at home, but she needed to go to bed... She was fussy all day; even Scorpius couldn't keep her happy."

My aunt nodded knowingly. "Nonetheless, dear, I'm glad to see you. Al's in his room; he said to send you up when you arrived."

I smiled. "Thanks, Aunt Gin. We'll be down for a drink before long, I suppose." And I headed up the staircase to see my cousin.

Albus opened the door before I could knock, grinning. "Rose," he sighed, pulling me into a warm hug.

I smiled, pulling away to get a better look at him. "What's got you in such a good mood? You're practically glowing."

He waved his hand vaguely, looking as if he knew exactly why but wasn't going to tell me yet. "How've things been with you and Scorp, Rosie? He hasn't said much about it." He sat down on his bed and patted the spot next to him.

I shrugged, taking the indicated seat. "There's not really anything to say. We don't need to have everything set in stone... We both know that it's not going anywhere right now, and we're okay with that. That's all. Now tell me what you're so happy about."

Al grinned like an idiot - no, not like an idiot... Like a boy in love. And with that, the obvious reason for his state dawned on me.

"It's that guy you've been seeing!" I exclaimed.

My cousin bit his lip, failing to suppress the continuous giddy smile. "Yeah." He fell back on the bed with a sigh.

I laughed at how completely smitten he seemed. "Tell me about him."

"His name's Jacob," Al started. "He was a Ravenclaw... two years ahead of us. I met him last Fall when he shadowed Teddy for awhile. He'd done his training in France and worked over there for awhile, but he was itching to come back, so he jumped at an opportunity to work for my dad."

I nodded. "So, who asked who out to begin with?"

"He did, sort of. I guess I maybe semi-initiated it... I told him I was gay. He's been out since his seventh year, so I figured it'd be worth a shot. He said he already knew... apparently he noticed me checking him out." My cousin grinned sheepishly.

I giggled. "Clearly he's a lot smarter than Scorpius."

Al chuckled. I was glad his feelings for Scorpius were something he could laugh about. There was a time when I was worried about hurting him, but I can see that he's moving on. "So anyways," he continued, "a couple days later he stopped me after work and asked if I wanted to go out sometime... I said yes, of course. That was more than a month ago. We've spent a lot of time together since then, and he's..." My cousin let out a happy sigh. "He's wonderful, Rose. I know it hasn't been long, but I think... I think he could be the one."

I made no effort to hide my smile. "That's amazing, Al. I'm-"

The door flew open, interrupting my words. In the doorway stood Aunt Ginny, pale and face wet with tears.

I jumped up from the bed, rushing to her side. "What's wrong?"

Her voice trembled as she spoke. "It- It's Lucy. She... tried again."

My stomach dropped. I turned to Albus, eyes wide. "You don't think she means-"

He shook his head slowly, as if still processing the words. "There's nothing else she could mean, Rose."

My aunt was sobbing. I held her tightly, not sure what to do. "Al, is your dad home?"

"Yeah... He's probably in the basement, working."

"Can you go get him?"

"Sure."

My cousin went in search of his father, and I was left to comfort his mum. I led her over to sit on the bed, gently rubbing her back and waiting for the tears to subside. When they had, I decided it was safe to inquire for a bit more information. "Did someone call and tell you?" I asked softly.

Aunt Ginny nodded shakily. "Your dad did... P- Percy called him first; he thought someone sh- should tell you. Y- you and Lucy have always been so c- close..." A fresh round of tears overtook her just as Albus reentered with Uncle Harry, who wore a grave look of concern.

"Albus explained to me on the way up," my uncle said, coming to his wife's side. "Is she in the hospital, dearest?"

My aunt nodded mutely, apparently too upset to speak anymore just now.

"I'm going to her," I said immediately. "Al, are you coming?"

He glanced at his parents, uncertain, but his dad nodded. "Go now. We'll be along after a while, if your mum feels up to it. Give Percy and Audrey our love, alright?"

"Of course."

So Al and I headed to Saint Mungo's, dreadfully worried about what we would find.

• • •

This waiting room wasn't as packed as the one on Christmas had been... all the kids were at Hogwarts now. Hardly any of the older cousins had been able to come. Victoire and Dominique were off on a cruise somewhere with their boyfriends, and Roxanne (uncle George's oldest) was in America on a business trip. James, all things considered, had probably not even been notified. Most of the aunts and uncles were here, of course, but Albus and I were left as the only cousins - excepting Molly.

Molly was Lucy's older sister. She was six years older than me, making her ten years older than Luce. Uncle Percy and Aunt Audrey'd had a lot of trouble with having children. They'd had Molly when they were young, soon after they got married, and my aunt had almost died giving birth. Still, though, they had wanted another child.

They tried for years and years. I know because I've heard it from the older cousins and the aunts and uncles many times. A few times she got pregnant, but none came close to even surviving the first trimester. Each time a little more of their hearts broke. They tried not to let it affect them, but it put a lot of strain on their marriage, and they almost ended up separating.

But they came back from it, somehow. They accepted the fact that having another baby wasn't going to happen - and they adopted Lucy. I was six when they brought her home; she was two. And she was wonderful.

A lot of the cousins were unsure about her because she was an outsider, but I didn't hesitate to love her. Molly was so much older that she was already at Hogwarts when Lucy came around - so I took her under my wing. I was her older sister, and I adored her.

For a long time, nobody really knew if Lucy was a witch. The age when kids show their first signs of magic varies widely, so for a long time Percy and Audrey held out hope that she might just be a late bloomer. But by the time she was ten, it was impossible to deny that she was a squib.

No one loved her any less for it, but it was true that many acted differently in her presence. It was nothing overly noticeable, just that people would try to use magic more sparingly when she was around, as if not to hurt her feelings. Unfortunately, the kids didn't get the memo. The rest of my cousins and I would come home from Hogwarts showing off all the spells we'd learnt over the semester, and she would be left out. It was sad, but rather inevitable. We figured she'd learn to deal with it.

My aunt and uncle sent Lucy to a supposedly prestigious secondary school in Essex. By all accounts, the education was quality. It was the other kids there who weren't. Lucy was bullied from the moment she set foot inside the place, but she didn't tell us for a long time. I kicked myself later for not seeing how miserable she was; for only wondering nonchalantly why she'd grown so reserved all of a sudden. It went on for two years without her saying a word about it. Then... then came a day I wished I didn't have to remember.

"Lucy's in the hospital. They found her in her bedroom... She'd slit her wrists, Rosie."

I could still hear my mum's shaky voice in my head, telling me that my treasured cousin had attempted to take her own life. I'd been so angry at myself for not noticing how much she was hurting. It was a deeper pain than I'd ever felt in my life, finding out how much she'd suffered.

When she recovered, I made her promise she'd always come to me if she was struggling. She'd agreed, but since then, she hadn't had any cause to keep it. She'd seemed fine over the Christmas holidays... what could have possibly gone wrong? What could have driven her to this again so quickly?

Uncle Percy was sitting next to Molly, holding his daughter's hand firmly in his own. He wore a blank expression. She looked, more than anything, numb. I sat down in the chair next to her. "Do you know anything?" I asked softly. "Do you know why?"

My cousin shook her head slowly. "She didn't say anything... didn't write a note. She just went out to the garage and turned the car on and-" She sniffled loudly. "We have no idea, Rose. Not a clue what on earth was going through her head... but she'd been cutting again. The doctor found the marks. Some of them two months old. Whatever brought her to this point... it's been going on for awhile. I just wish we knew..."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed it. "We'll figure it out. Has she woken up yet?"

"No. They'll tell us as soon as she does. But... I'm scared, Rose. I don't know what to say to her when she's awake."

I remembered that feeling, from the last time. But this time I felt like I knew what I was going to say. "Just tell her you love her. There'll be time for other conversations later... For now, love her. That's what she needs."

Molly nodded. "You're right." Then she gave me a sad, not-really-smile. "Thanks, Rose."

I squeezed her hand tighter. "That's what family's for."