"I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to"

I didn't care that Scorpius left with Prissy. I didn't.

Okay, I did.

It was stupid -- I knew I had no right to, after the events of the past two days -- but I did. He may not have been looking at me during those long few minutes when we were alone in the classroom, but I was looking at him. I was trying to figure out how upset he was. Was it just his pride that was hurt, or was he truly as furious as he'd sounded when he spoke to me? I could stand a lot of things, but I couldn't stand the thought of him hating me. I wanted to say something to him -- but what could I possibly say? I'm sorry I've started seeing someone else? I hope you don't mind too much?

Obviously, he did mind. It was evident in the tense posture of his shoulders; in the unnaturally even pattern of his breathing. Everything about him spelled out agitation, and I couldn't deny that my heart was begging me to walk over to him and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him until every bit of that tension had faded away. But that wasn't my place anymore, and I had made that decision. I was just going to have to live with it.

I was happy when another person walked in -- until I saw that it was Prissy. I watched Scorpius realise it was her, and the way his eyes focused in on her made my stomach churn. I stood frozen as I listened to their whole exchange, wondering if Scorpius knew how closely I was paying attention. I kept expecting him to glance over at me, but his focus didn't leave her. He followed her out of the room without looking back.

Alone in the classroom, I found myself unexpectedly fighting back tears. Damn it, Rose, get yourself together, There would be other people coming in any second, and there was no way in hell I was letting them see me cry. I just had to get through this class -- then I could go hide somewhere until this feeling passed. And it would pass. It would pass, and I would be able to forget it. I was determined to believe that -- even if, in my heart, I didn't believe it at all.

---

Somehow, I made it through the period, and only slightly messed up the potion we were brewing. I wasn't worried about my marks in this class; I could get away with one day of being a little less than perfect. I thought Albus might partner up with me, but I was greeted with only a grim look, and he seemed to spend the whole class glowering at me from across the room. It would have bothered me, if I wasn't so busy being distracted by my own problems.

When Slughorn released us, I packed up my things as fast as humanly possible, determined to slip quickly out of the classroom and find a place to deal with whatever was going on in my head right now. However, my plans were foiled when Al's voice called my name from behind me.

I spun around, crossing my arms protectively over my chest. "What do you want?"

My cousin glanced back at the group of students filing out of the room, frowning. "Walk with me," he said tersely. Without waiting for an answer, he took off in the direction of the Slytherin common room.

I had to jog to catch up and fall into step beside him. "What's your problem?" I hissed. "You've been looking at me like I'm the devil incarnate for the last hour, and now you want to take a stroll?"

We'd turned into a corridor devoid of people, and he stopped, scoffing as he faced me. "You seriously don't know what the problem is?"

I swallowed, looking at the floor. "If this is about Scorpius-"

"Of course it is!" I ventured a glance at Albus, and his face was stony as he continued. "What the hell were you thinking, leading him on like that and then dropping him like it was nothing? It was a really shitty thing to do, and I would have expected more from you."

I bit my lip. "It had to be done, all right? It could never have worked out between us."

"You don't know that! You didn't even give him a chance. Do you have any idea how much he cares? How hard he would have tried? He would do anything for you, Rose. Anything."

"I..." My voice broke unexpectedly, and it took me a few seconds to recover. When I continued, my voice was little more than a whisper. "I know, Al. I know he would. But that doesn't change the facts, does it? Of who we are, and who our families are... It would be too much. Don't you think it was kinder to cut him off now? If I'd kept it going... it would only have hurt him more in the end."

Al crossed his arms. "Don't act like you did this for him, Rose. I don't buy it for a second. You couldn't care less how much you hurt him, could you? You were only thinking of yourself."

"That's not fair!" I protest. "You have no idea-"

"Oh, don't start." My cousin's glare was strong enough to keep me from protesting further. I expected him to shout more, but all he did was shake his head. "You're the one who has no idea..." There was an unexpected quaver in his tone as he went on. "People would give everything to be looked at the way Scorpius looks at you. You're really fucking stupid to throw something like that away."

I looked at him, then at the floor, fidgeting with the strap on my bag. There was a long pause before I spoke, fighting to keep my voice even. "I know you think I'm selfish... But I swear, I never wanted to hurt him."

Albus scoffed, running a hand through his dark, messy hair. "Well. It's a little late for that."

---

I wasn't sure if it was my conversation with Al or something else, but I ended up excusing myself halfway through my next class because I felt queasy again. I thought about going to the hospital wing, but decided I didn't really want to talk to anyone right now, so I ended up going back to Gryffindor tower and curling up on a sofa in the common room with a blanket and a book. If anyone noticed I was there at a time I should have been in class, they didn't say anything

At least, nobody until Lysa. I glanced up and saw her come in after an hour or so, and her eyebrows raised when she saw me. Lily was behind her — let's be honest, nobody was going to complain about Harry Potter's daughter being in the Gryffindor common room — and they both trailed over to me.

Lysa plopped herself down on the sofa next to me, while Lily stationed herself on the floor. "What happened? Are you sick again?" Ly asked, concern clear in her tone.

I shrugged. "I didn't feel too great for a bit, but I think I'm all right now. I dunno if I'm actually still sick, or if I was just... overwhelmed."

Lily's brow furrowed. She hesitated before saying, " ...because of Scorpius?"

I laid my head back on the arm of the sofa, exhaling slowly. "I... yeah, maybe. He was in the Potions room when we got there, and it was... stressful, to say the least."

"We, as in you and Andy?" Lysa interjected.

"Yeah," I said. Then, seeing the way her mouth dipped down, I narrowed my eyes. "What does that look mean? I don't like it."

My friend ducked her head, twirling a strand of blonde hair around her finger. "It's... it's nothing."

I glanced over at Lily, who was biting her lip. "You wanna tell me what Ly's bothered about?"

My cousin looked at our friend, and they seemed to have a brief conversation with their eyes. FInally, she turned back to me. "We... we're worried about you, okay? After everything with Scorpius... it just seems like you jumped into this new thing with Andy sort of fast."

A scoff escaped my lips. "Great. More judgement was just what I needed today."

"Rose," Lysa sighed. "We're not judging you. We just want to make sure you know what you're doing."

I laughed despairingly. "I do know, okay? The Andy thing may seem sudden to you, but I really did think it over, and... I decided it was the best thing for me right now. He's sweet, and he likes me, and I don't see any reason why I shouldn't go out with him. So could you maybe try being happy for me instead of questioning my judgement?"

Lily was once again gnawing on her lip. Finally, she said, "I never doubted that you'd thought it through, Rosie. But I... I guess I'm just wondering if you're going out with him for the right reasons."

I hesitated. She'd hit the nail on the head, and I think she knew it. But what would be the point of admitting that? What was the good of saying I had gone to Andy to keep my mind off of Scorpius? I was tired of talking about him; tired of thinking about him. "No offence, but I don't think my reasons are your business."

My cousin's face fell. "Do I need to remind you that I've been Scorpius in this situation? And it's-- I'm sorry, but it's a really shitty thing to do, no matter what the circumstances of the breakup were."

The words were like a slap in the face. "Are you seriously comparing me to Alec right now?"

"Yes, I am." Lily stood up, clearly done with the conversation. "And if that's such an offensive prospect, maybe you should think a little harder about what you're doing."

She was gone in a flash, leaving me and Lysa alone on the sofa. I looked at the blonde girl and exhaled shakily. "Great. Now both of them are mad at me."

My friend raised her eyebrows. "Both of who?"

"The Potters," I explained tiredly. "Albus already yelled at me today."

"Ah." The tone of her voice and the expression on her face said she wasn't all that surprised by the news.

"What, have you all been complaining about me together?" I said, more snappish than I intended.

Lysa shook her head. "No, I just... understand why Al might be upset."

"Well yeah -- obviously he's more loyal to his friend than to his own cousin," I sigh bitterly.

My friend's lips turned down. "It's a lot more than loyalty, Rose."

I raised an eyebrow. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"If you want to know, you'll have to ask Albus."

"Yeah, because he totally wants to talk to me right now," I grumbled.

"So maybe first you'll have to apologise."

I crossed my arms. "I didn't do anything, Lysa."

The blonde girl slipped off the couch, crossing her arms as she stood up straight. "If you really believed that, you wouldn't look so guilty."

She walked away without waiting for a response -- which was fine with me, because I didn't have one.

---

Suppertime came, and I watched Lysa come down from her dormitory and leave the tower without so much as a glance in my direction. I wasn't sure I even wanted to eat, if I was going to have to sit there while she pointedly ignored me. I couldn't lie -- the thought stung. Lysa, Lily, and I hardly ever fought. If we did, it was over something foolish, and we always made up before a few hours had gone by. But this felt different.

I knew it was bad, because Lily had brought up Alec. Generally, we didn't talk about Lysa's brother. It had been a year since things ended between them, but Lysa and I both knew the wound was still fresh for Lily -- it never really had the chance to heal, when she kept having to see him sleeping around like he'd never cared a smidge for her. He'd really wrecked her, and to hear her accuse me of being like him was... Well, to say the very least, it was jarring.

"Rose! Someone's waiting for you out here."

I glanced up, startled, and saw that Ally Dixon was leaning through the portrait hole from the outside, looking at me expectantly. I frowned. "Who?"

"Me, of course." Andy's head popped up beside Ally's. He shot me a lopsided grin. "Did you forget I said I'd pick you up for dinner?"

A slight smile crossed my lips. "Honestly, I did. Just give me two seconds..." I leapt up, folded the knit blanket and draped it over the arm of the sofa, and discarded my book on the corner table, where I knew nobody would bother it. There wasn't a mirror in the common room, so I would just have to trust that my hair wasn't a tangled mess. I straightened my sweater, made sure my skirt was right, and made my way to the exit.

Andy took my hand to help me through the portrait hole. "I was worried you'd taken ill again," he said. "I didn't see you anywhere after lunch."

I gave him half a smile. "I did actually feel rather bad for a bit. I think I'm okay now, though."

The brown-haired boy frowned, lifting his hand to brush a few stray hairs out of my face. "Are you sure? If you don't feel up to dinner, don't bother yourself on my account."

I nodded assuringly, and took his hand. "I'm quite all right, I promise. Let's go, or the whole school will be done eating before we get there."

"Okay," he said, a soft smile crossing his face. I felt him squeeze my hand as we walked towards the stairs, and I thought: How could anyone possibly say this is wrong?

We got down to the main level without any trouble, and Andy let go of my hand to pull open the door into the Great Hall. "Ladies first," he said, grinning at me. I wondered if it would ever stop feeling intoxicating, the way he looked at me like he didn't see anything else. The way his smile was a bit more genuine with me than it was with other people. It was a strange, wonderful feeling -- and we'd been together for barely twenty-four hours. How many more strange, wonderful things might I discover over weeks? Over months?

That train of thought was lost when I walked through the doors, and my stomach lurched. Oh, Merlin.

"Rose, are you--?"

I presume that the last word of Andy's sentence was some variation of okay, but I couldn't tell you for sure because I shoved him aside and bolted back out to the hallway just in time to steady myself against the wall and vomit all over the stone floors.

A couple of younger girls shrieked in my periphery, and I heard them scurry into the Hall as fast as their legs could carry them. I heard a male voice mutter something along the lines of, "Seriously? You couldn't have gone to the loo?" In any other moment, I would have whipped my wand out and sent him running with his tail between his legs... but I was too busy trying not to throw up again just from the awful acidic taste in my mouth.

"Hey..." I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, and knew it was Andy's. "What happened in there? Is everything all right?"

I grimaced, and turned to lean my head back against the wall. "I dunno. The smell of all that food just... triggered something, I guess. I'm sorry; I really thought I'd be okay."

"Don't apologise," Andy chided me softly. "If you're ill, you're ill. It's nobody's fault."

A sigh escaped my lips. "Yeah, sure, but... I feel bad. I mean... " I gestured at the floor in front of me. "I've made such a mess."

"Well, that's an easy fix." My boyfriend pulled his wand from his pocket, and cast a quick Scourgify. In a moment, the stone was as clean as it ever had been. This done, he turned back to me. "Let me take you back upstairs... You can clean up, if you feel the need, and we'll just hang out."

I frowned. "You should go eat dinner, Andy. I know you're hungry; I've been listening to your stomach grumble for the last ten minutes... I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, but..." The brown-haired boy ducked his head, as if embarrassed. "I want to take care of you. Is that strange?" He looked back up, meeting my eyes as he continued. "Maybe it is, but I just... it makes me happy to think about caring for you... a hell of a lot happier than the thought of supper."

I found myself flushing under the intensity of his gaze. Whether it was from pleasure or discomfort, I wasn't entirely sure. The more he spoke to me, the more it became clear that he was really invested in this relationship -- invested on a level that felt beyond our years. It just seemed... serious. I guess that scared me, but I wasn't disgusted by it either.

I said, "Okay, let's go, then," and let him lead me back towards the staircase.

---

A fire blazed in Andy's common room, even though it wasn't nearly cold enough outside to warrant one in normal circumstances.. It seemed that Hogwarts always regulated the temperature of its rooms, so that a person could have a fire without overheating no matter the season, or always go without one (although I've no idea why anyone would, when they are so lovely) and never be too cold. Magic really is a curious thing, isn't it?

We were snuggled on the sofa, Andy's toned arms curved around me. I could feel the soft whistle of his breath as it passed my ear -- in and out, in and out, in a rhythm almost synchronised with my own. We'd been here for a while, just cuddling, not doing anything more. It was nice. It also gave my mind a bit too much time to wander.

"Andy?"

"Yeah?"

"What made you like me in the first place?"

He let out a soft laugh. "Why do you want to know?"

"What, can't you think of anything to say?" I shifted so I could look him in the eye. He was smiling.

"There are too many things."

I bit my lip, but couldn't help grinning. "Oh, really? Would you like to name a few?"

"Well... you're quite smart, for one thing. And you're not ashamed of it. Some people think it isn't cool to care about their academics... but, obviously, I'm not one of them, seeing as I'm the overachieving moron who ended up as Head Boy. And you... Your mind is a force of nature, and you've never tried to tame it. It's sexy as hell, really."

I blushed. "You're exaggerating. I'm not all that."

"Oh, come on -- you're all that and more. Don't act like you don't know it. You're many things, but humble isn't exactly one of them."

"Okay, fine -- I'm all that. Tell me what else I am?"

"You're... a goddess." Andy planted an unexpected kiss in the spot between my jaw and the bottom of my ear. "You command attention..." His lips traced the edge of my jaw inwards, towards my chin. "You take what you want without letting anyone stop you..." I let out a soft sigh as the kisses travelled down to the nape of my neck. "You know who you are, and you're never afraid of it. In short..." Finally, Andy's lips landed on mine. "You demand to be worshipped. And I live to worship you."

Smirking, I shifted away from him. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

He snorted. "I'm flattered that you think there've been many."

I laughed softly, but then glanced up at him and asked the question that had just crossed my mind. "How many have there been?"

Andy's lips quirked up. "Why? You wanna know how you measure up?"

I blushed, ducking my head. "Well... I mean, I... I don't-"

He cut me off with a chuckle. "Relax, I know that's not what you meant." He brushed his fingers across my cheek, his expression thoughtful. "Two," he finally said. "That's all there's been. I had a... I guess you could say a summer fling? With this girl who lives down the block from me in Liverpool. A muggle. She was off to Uni, though, and I was coming back here, so... it was never gonna be serious."

I nodded, not really sure how one responded when being told about a lover's former lover. It was... strange, I guess, to think about him being with someone else. He'd dated here and there at school, but I'd never really paid attention. So I had to admit, the thought of him twisted in the sheets with some muggle girl was jarring. Best not to dwell on it, I supposed. "So who was the second one?" I asked, certain that there was no polite way to ask the question.

Andy made a noise that might have been a groan. "It's... sort of an embarrassing story. Do you really want to know?"

Seeing the look on his face, I raised my eyebrows. "You are blushing like you just saw your cousin naked! There is no way I don't want to hear this story."

He covered his face with his hands. "You're sure? You may have secondhand embarrassment just from hearing it."

"I'm sure."

"Ugh. Fine..." He shifted, draping his arm over his eyes as if he couldn't bear to look at me. Then, slowly, he began. "Grace — the muggle — she was the second. The first... was Evie."

I sat up straight. "Evelyn?" I squeaked.

"Yes," he sighed.

"Just to be clear — Evelyn? The head girl? Whose bedroom is right over there?"

"Yes." His voice was dejected, and he still hadn't removed his arm from his face.

"But-" I bit my lip. "I thought she was gay!"

"Yes," he intoned for the third time, somehow managing to make it sound even more depressed than the previous two.

I gaped at him, although I knew he couldn't see it. My brain didn't quite know how to process this turn of events. Before I was able to formulate a coherent thought, he continued.

"Evie and I go way back, you know... our parents have been friends for years, so we've been around each other for most of our lives. When we were fifteen, we... She basically just came up and asked me if I was a virgin. I told her I was... I figured if she was asking, she really already thought so, and there would be no point in lying. And then she just..." He chuckled, although I could hear the embarrassment in it. "She said— 'Me too. You wanna change that?' And because I was fifteen and an idiot, I said yes. It was... awkward as hell, to be honest, but I guess at the time I didn't mind because it was Evie, and I trusted her not to, you know, make fun of me or anything. And to her credit, she never did. But..." Andy exhaled slowly. "The next day, I showed up at her house with a box of chocolates, and I was gonna... apologise, or some shit, because I knew there had been something off about the whole thing. And she opened the door, and looked me over, and then... she just stared right at me and said, 'I think I'm a lesbian.'"

I couldn't help it — I laughed out loud. "She didn't."

"She did."

"Godric--" I tried and failed to submerge another round of giggles. When I'd finally tamed them, I shook my head. "I imagine that did loads of good for your confidence."

"Ha ha." Andy finally lifted his arm from his face, giving me a despairing look. "It would be nice to get a bit of pity, you know -- rather than just listening to you laugh in my face. This was the most humiliating moment of my life!"

I patted his arm with faux sympathy. "It's alright, darling... Clearly you've been traumatised... Now I understand why it took you so long to climax yesterday."

The brown-haired boy let out a huff and crossed his arms. "Not funny."

I snorted. "Oh, relax. I was only kidding."

He turned his head to the side. "You're mean. I'm not speaking to you anymore."

I couldn't resist rolling my eyes. Men. SO dramatic! But I reached out to cup his cheek, turning his face back to me. "Hey, don't be like that." Still, he refused to meet my gaze. "Come on. I'm sorry." His eyes flickered up, but quickly dropped again. "Andy, seriously. What do you want me to say? You were good yesterday, okay? For real. I was only teasing before."

Finally, he let me catch his gaze. "Good? That's all I get?" His voice was light, but his expression told me he really wanted to know why I'd used the particular word.

"Good is a compliment! It's the opposite of bad."

"But good isn't great," he sighed. "It's just... acceptable."

"Hey..." I leaned in and kissed him softly. "Listen. It was our first time with each other. Life's not a romance novel, and nobody is automatically having the hottest sex of their lives when they've never even touched each other before. Saying it was good is not saying it was lacklustre; it just... means we're leaving room for improvement, you know?"

Andy scoffed. "Or it means you've had better sex with someone else."

It was my turn to look away. "What? No, that's silly--"

"Rose, come on." His fingers dragged my chin back to face him. "When we were together back in January, I knew better than to even suggest taking our clothes off. You'd made it pretty clear that you didn't intend to sleep with any dumb high school boyfriend. Yesterday it became very obvious that your opinions have changed -- and that you'd slept with someone between then and now. That's entirely your business, of course, and if you don't want to talk about it or whatever I'll shut up, just say the word. But when you say I'm just good, what I hear is that he -- whoever he may be -- was better. So I'm sorry for picking on the word choice, I guess I'm just a bit jealous."

I let the corners of my lips turn up, reaching to brush brown hair out of Andy's eyes. "Oh, don't be jealous."

"Why not?"

There was a moment of silence, as I pondered what I wanted to say, and settled on what seemed best, and most honest. "Because even if you're right about that part -- and I'm not saying that you are -- you're a much better person than he is, and that's worth a million times more."

"Hm," Andy murmured, his mood unreadable. "This mystery guy -- did he break your heart?"

Thoughts and memories flooded my head in response to the question, and for the briefest of seconds, my determination to act like the days with Scorpius never happened faltered. But the moment passed, and I shook my head, lips pressed tightly together. "It was never truly his to break."

As my boyfriend -- he was my boyfriend, and I could actually publicise the fact, because nobody could possibly have anything bad to say about him -- cracked a smile and pulled me close, I wondered when I had become such a talented liar.

---

"You're sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Andy played with my hand, a questioning look on his face.

I shook my head, pulling away from him with a laugh. "Will you please stop acting like you think I'm dying or something? I really don't believe it's anything special, all right? I just want her to check me out so there's no question."

It had been almost two weeks since Andy and I got together, and I still couldn't shake whatever was making me throw up at random intervals. I was tired of having all my food brought to me because I couldn't walk into the Great Hall during a meal without being nauseated by the smell of all the food. Consequently, we were currently lingering in the corridor outside the Hospital Wing, because I'd decided it was time for Auntie Hannah to look me over.

"At least let me walk you in."

"Okay, okay!" I rolled my eyes, but entwined our fingers and let him follow me through the doors.

I glanced over the room, and saw that it wasn't terribly busy. Springtime didn't usually bring much in the way of sickness, I guess -- I myself appeared to be an exception. There were a couple of beds with curtains drawn around them, probably housing some second years I'd heard about who had sustained injuries during a Care of Magical Creatures demonstration. And there was one girl, a sixth year Ravenclaw who I was vaguely acquainted with, sleeping in one of the beds closest to the door. Hannah Longbottom was nowhere to be found when we walked in, but appeared from her office before long, and beamed when she saw us.

"Rosie! It's good to see you." She greeted me with a kiss on the cheek, and nodded at Andy. "And you as well, Mr. MacDowell." She didn't say anything, but I saw a smirk flicker across her lips as her eyes passed over our intertwined hands. "So, to what do I owe the pleasure? Nothing too seriously wrong with either of you, I hope."

I laughed faintly. "Well, I hope not." I dropped Andy's hand, turning to him to say goodbye. "You can run along now. I'll meet you in the courtyard at suppertime, okay?"

"All right," he sighed, then leaned down to plant a kiss on my forehead. "See you later, love. Try to stay out of trouble."

"We'll see," I laughed, waving as he slipped out through the doors.

"So, when did you two get back together?" Auntie Hannah teasingly inquired as I turned back to face her.

"Oh, not long ago... less than two weeks."

"I'm glad. You look a lot happier than you did the last time you were here."

My brow furrowed. "When was that?"

Hannah's smile fell slightly. "You were getting that potion — for your friend, remember? And I gave you those pills for her."

"Oh... yes, of course." I managed what I hoped was a careless grin. "I'd nearly forgotten." Those pills were stuffed in my nightstand — but I was almost out.

"I don't really think I need to tell you this, but... I hope you two are being safe."

I felt heat explode across my face, and I looked everywhere except at her. "Auntie-"

"Oh, don't be like that!" Laughing, the nurse pulled me into a hug. "Hey, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable, I just want to make sure you don't act without thinking first. I know you're not the kind of person who usually would, but I also know it's easy to get carried away when you have feelings for someone... And neither of us wants to see you with a baby in your arms next winter."

I started to laugh, but at that moment something clicked in my mind, and I stepped away from her, panic rising inside me. Oh, Godric-

"Rose, What on earth is the matter? You look like you've just seen a dead man rise."

Glancing around me, I found the nearest empty bed and sat down, dropping my face into my hands as I tried to collect my thoughts. When I finally looked up at her, I had to blink away gathering tears. She was kneeling beside me, concern clear on her face.

"Darling. Tell me what's wrong."

I swallowed, fighting the urge to break down and sob. In a low voice, with many pauses necessary to keep my composure, I confided everything to her, including the thought that had just come to me. As I did so, I watched the lines on her face deepen as she realised the whole of the situation, and I grew anxious that when I finished her words might be harsh. But when I did, her only response was to wrap her arms around me, tighter than ever.

When I got myself together, she took me with her back into her office, and I perched on the edge of her desk while she whipped together the solution that was needed. It had a quick brewing time, she said, but I would have to return tomorrow for the results.

When it was done, Hannah picked up a small glass vial and asked me to hold out my hand. She deftly pricked my finger, and I watched drops of my blood fall into the vial, wondering in anguish if those little droplets of red would betray me. This done, she healed the spot with a swish of her wand and dipped the vial into the solution before corking it and setting it in a stand on a side table, where it would sit until declaring the verdict that had potential to change the course of my life.

As she walked me to the door, Auntie Hannah's frown suddenly turned questioning. "How long did you say you and Andy had been back together?"

"Two weeks," I said, realising even as I said it why she was asking.

"I see," she murmured -- and her expression told me that she did see. She understood even more what was at stake here. Her look remained solemn as she pulled me into yet another hug. "Hope for the best, okay? But if it is the worst... don't worry yourself. I'm here for you and always will be."

I gave a nod that was ten times more confident than I felt and headed out the door, wondering how I was ever going to explain this turn of events to Andy.

---

The next morning, I waited until my dormmates had left for breakfast and rushed to the hospital wing. I burst through the doors and found Hannah pacing, apparently waiting for me.

The look on her face told me everything I needed to know.

She started to say something, but I was already gone. There was all the time in the world to talk to her about this -- right now, I needed to be alone.

The dormitory was empty when I got there. Shutting the door and locking it, I paced across the room, slowing to a stop in front of the mirror.

There were bags under my eyes. I hadn't slept last night; not a bit. After returning from the Hospital Wing, I'd sent Lysa to tell Andy I wasn't feeling up for anything, and then curled up in my bed and spent the next eight hours trying to silence the whirlwind of thoughts spinning through my head. All of this was... it was insane. And I couldn't tell a soul about it, couldn't even tell Lily or Ly... and certainly I couldn't tell... him.

But I would have to, wouldn't I? Sooner or later it would become impossible not to. Godric...

The full weight of my predicament hit me suddenly, and I stumbled back to my bed, collapsing on it as my eyes clouded with tears — dreading, more than anything, the moment when I would have to face Scorpius Malfoy.