Chapter 51: Holding Back

Anabeth couldn't stay still. Ilang beses ko siyang napansin na sumusulyap sa'kin sabay ngiti.

"May problema ba?" tanong ko.

It's been days since the party at the Van Zanth mansion... since Zackary had recognized me in front of everyone as his mate. And Anabeth had been teasing me non-stop about it.

"Eleanor," she giggled. "What's the feeling?"

We were in our work station in the tower. Matagal na din mula noong huli akong maayos na nakapagtrabaho.

"Feeling?" I faced Anabeth on my seat.

"Of being the alpha's mate, ano ka ba!" Hinampas niya ako sa braso. Laging namumula ang mga braso ko tuwing ganito siya ka-excited sa isang bagay.

Sumandal siya sa sariling upuan nang hindi naalis ang ngiti sa labi. "I still couldn't believe the things that unfolded at the party. It was magical watching the two of you."

"Magical?" I didn't realize the things that happen until the party was over. The only thing that mattered to me most were the moments I shared with Zackary.

"Considering how messy the earlier part of the party was, yes."

"Ano'ng nangyari?"

"Well," she started with a sigh. "The alpha learned about you being invited to the Maven mansion days before. He had a heated argument about it with the elders and the council member. The alpha wanted to leave the party to come to you because he knew you might not be coming."

I bit my lower lip. I wasn't aware something like that had happened.

"Sir Zander had to intervene, you know?" patuloy ni Anabeth. "He reminded everyone involved that the event was also for Zanra and they have no right to create such ruckus in the premises of the Van Zanth mansion."

Muling bumuntong-hininga si Anabeth.

"In the end, Sir Zackary had asserted his position as the alpha and warned everyone that if something happens to you, there would be consequences involved. Thank goodness you've made it to the party at the last minute."

"Do you think the people of Van Zanth hate me?"

Kumunot ang noo ni Anabeth sa naging tanong ko. "Eleanor, there will be people who are waiting to point out your flaws and the risk that comes with your relationship with the alpha. But that's not all of Van Zanth."

Tuluyan siyang humarap sa'kin at hinawakan ang magkabila kong braso.

"A large part of the residence in this town remained in Van Zanth because we are loyal to the family and we trust the decisions of our leader. Hindi kami mananatili dito kung ang bayang ito ay patungo sa pagkasira."

Pinisil niya ang braso ko at ngumiti.

"You are the alpha's mate. You deserve to feel how special that title is."

--

Kinabukasan, maaga palang ay nagpaalam na si Anabeth na buong araw siya sa library para tapusin ang kanyang report tungkol sa nakaraang foraging.

Ako naman ay kinakailangang pumunta sa downtown para bumili ng mga gamit matapos ang mahigit isang buwan na pagkawala sa apothecary.

Once I got my small bag and outdoor coat, naglakad ako patungo sa maliit na bus stop na makikita sa labas ng apothecary. Hindi pa ako nakakarating sa gate nang dalawang order ang lumapit sa'kin. One of them was Owen.

They instantly lowered their heads, greeting me.

"May pupuntahan ka, Ms. Eleanor?"

Huminto ako at humarap sa kanila. "Papunta ako sa downtown para bumili ng ilang gamit."

Nagtungo ang isang order sa nakaparadang itim na sasakyan malapit sa gate at binuksan ang pinto nito.

"Sasamahan ka namin, Ms. Eleanor."

Bumaling ako sa sasakyan at sa dalawang order. "Hindi na kailangan. Malapit lang ang downtown."

"We are strictly instructed to keep you in sight in and out of the apothecary premises," explained Owen.

Pinagmasdan kong muli ang dalawa, nag-aalangan sa kanilang sinabi. Owen motioned the open door of the car. Wala akong nagawa kundi sumunod.

I was seated at the backseat. One of the order was driving the car and Owen was in the passenger seat.

"Kasama ba ito sa trabaho niyo?" tanong ko habang umaandar ang sasakyan.

"Yes, Ms. Eleanor," sagot ni Owen.

"Kayong dalawa sa apothecary?"

"Apat kaming naka-destino doon ngayon at nagpapalitan ng shift."

"Oh," I mumbled. "Okay lang ba 'yon sa inyo?"

Lumingon sa'kin si Owen. "Ano'ng ibig mong sabihin, Ms. Eleanor?"

"You are trained for more important situations," I mumbled, suddenly unsure if my words were right. "Is it alright with you to serve someone like me?"

"Ms. Eleanor," Owen stated, still facing me. "It's an honor to serve someone like you."

An honor...

Pagdating sa downtown, akmang bubuksan ko ang pinto para lumabas ng sasakyan nang pigilan nila ako. Owen immediately stepped out of the car to open the door for me. Lumabas ako mula sa sasakyan na naiilang dahil sa pakikitungo nila sa'kin.

"I'll just buy a few things," I told them. "I'll be quick."

"Kailangang may kasama ka, Ms. Eleanor," instructed Owen. "'Wag kang mag-alala. We will keep our distance para hindi ka maabala sa araw mo."

Naiwan ang order na nagmaneho sa labas ng sasakyan as though surveying the entire place. Kasama ko si Owen na naglakad papunta sa hilera ng mga tindahan sa downtown. He was several steps behind me pero hindi mapagkakaila na may nakasunod sa'kin at may mga matang nakabantay.

Habang tumatagal, unti-unti din akong pinagtitinginan ng mga taong nasasalubong ko o nadadaanan.

"The alpha's mate..."

Napansin ni Owen ang kumpulan ng mga tao sa aking harapan. Nanguna siya sa paglalakad at may sinabi sa mga ito. People instantly stepped aside. Bumalik sila sa kani-kaniyang ginagawa habang mayroon paring napapasulyap sa aking direksyon.

Ang kanilang mga bulungan. Tulad din ito ng huli kong pagpunta sa downtown. But they had their heads down today, unable to stare at me directly in the eyes.

Owen motioned the doorway of the shop were I was planning to go. It was the same shop I've been to months ago. The shop that sells coats and jackets. Ang sabi ni Anabeth, kabubukas lang nito ngayong linggo matapos makiusap sa alpha.

Hesitant, I entered the shop. The same lady, the shop owner, opened the door. Sinubukan kong bumati at sinabi ang aking pakay na bumili ng coat.

Bigla siyang nagtungo sa nakapaskil na signage sa pintuan at binaliktad ito, saying the shop was now close. Naalala ko na ganito din ang nangyari dati kaya agad akong humingi ng paumanhin.

"I'm sorry, I'll just-"

"Naku, hindi... Miss."

The shop owner held her head down so sudden that I thought she was gonna stumble. Hinawakan ko siya sa braso para alalayan siyang makatayo nang maayos.

"Kailangan kong pansamantalang isara ang shop para makapili kayo nang maayos."

Natulala ako sa kanyang sinabi.

"Pakiusap, pumasok kayo sa loob."

The treatment was opposite from the last time I've been in the shop. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko dahil dito. The staff in the apothecary remained the same to me after the party so I didn't realized how much things had changed.

Nang makapili ako ng coat, agad ko itong binayaran. Sinubukan kong hindi magtagal sa loob ng shop para hindi maabala ang kanilang negosyo.

Nagpatuloy ako sa pamimili sa downtown habang ilan hakbang lang ang layo ng mga orders sa'kin. Patuloy ding napapalingon sa'kin ang mga tao. They often dipped their heads in a bow, greeting me. Nang sinubukan kong yumuko para batiin ang ilan pabalik, agad akong pinigilan ni Owen.

"You are not to lower your head in front of just anyone, Ms. Eleanor."

Pero ito ang nakasanayan kong gawin. I usually lower my head whenever I greet people or whenever I wasn't allowed to stare at people higher with higher status than me. I didn't know such simple things require adjustments.

Matapos makabili ng mga gamit na kailangan ko sa apothecary, tinulungan ako ng dalawang order na bitbitin ang mga ito at dahil sa sasakyan.

The last in my list was the pastry shop. I bought several pastries for Anabeth. Bumili din ako ng para sa'kin at nag-order ng kape para sa dalawang kasama ko.

Nang salubungin ako ni Owen sa labas ng shop, inbot ko sa kanya ang mga ito. "Hindi ko alam kung mahilig kayo sa matatamis kaya kape nalang ang binili ko."

"Hindi namin ito matatanggap, Ms. Eleanor."

"Hindi kayo umiinom ng kape?" tanong ko.

"Hindi sa ganoon..."

Napakamot siya ng kanyang ulo habang pinagmamasdan ko siya. Bumuntong-hininga siya at kalaunan tinanggap ito. Naglakad kami pabalik sa sasakyan kung saan naghihintay sa labas nito ang order na kasama namin.

Binigay ni Owen ang dalang inumin. Akmang tatanggi ang order nang umiling si Owen, tahimik na sinasabing tanggapin nalang ito. Nanatili kami sa labas ng sasakyan habang kumakain.

"Salamat sa pagsama sa'kin ngayong araw," sabi ko sa kanila. "Hindi parin pamilyar sa'kin ang mga bagay-bagay. Hindi din ako ganoon kakomportable sa trato sa'kin ng mga tao. Pero mabuti nalang at kasama ko kayo."

Humarap ako sa kanila at ngumiti. Owen cleared his throat as though close to coughing. Umiwas ng tingin ang isa pang order habang umiinom ng kape. Ngunit napansin ko ang maliit na ngiti sa kanilang mga labi.

Matapos kumain, akmang papasok na ako sa loob ng sasakyan nang mapansin ko ang isang grupo ng mga orders na patungo sa aming direksyon.

With them was Zackary.

People around instantly lowered their heads upon seeing him. "Alpha..."

Pinagmasdan ko si Zackary. Even a stranger would recognize his presence in a crowded place. His height, the way he carries himself, straight wide shoulders, steady strides and unfazed gaze... the presence of a leader.

Everyone had their heads and gazes down. Kahit ang mga orders na kasama ko ay yumuko kaya ganoon din ang ginawa ko. Nagpatuloy sa paglapit ang grupo hanggang sa tuluyang huminto si Zackary sa harapan ko.

"Why are you staring down?"

His deep, low voice made me blink. I raised my head to match his gaze just to see him staring back at me. "Because... you're the alpha," I mumbled.

Nabigla ako nang makita ang ngiti sa kanyang labi. "You don't have to do that with me," paliwanag niya sa'kin. "You're my equal now. My other half."

Equal...

"Did you stroll around downtown today?"

"I bought a few things for work." Hindi ko maiwasang mapansin ang mga orders na naghihintay at ang mga taong pilit sumusulyap sa aming direksyon. "Why are you here?"

"I oversee a project at the town square."

I bit my lower lip, unable to come up with the right words. I wanted to tell him to take care of himself, to rest if he needed to. Pero masyadong marami ang mga matang nakatingin sa'min.

Inabot ni Zackary ang gilid ng aking mukha at marahan itong hinaplos. "I'll visit you in the apothecary tonight," he told me. Ngumiti ako at tumango.

Kinailangan ding umalis agad ni Zackary. Pinagmasdan ko ang alpha habang naglakakad palayo kasama ang mga orders. From the whispers of the people around me, I recognized a few words.

"Ngumiti ang alpha..."

--

Hinintay kong dumating si Zackary noong gabing 'yon. I stayed up late waiting for him at the receiving room pero hindi siya dumating. He must have been very busy.

Kinabukasan, naging abala ako sa mga gawain sa tower. Maging si Anabeth ay abala din sa kanyang mga reports. Bago magtanghalian, tinanong ako ni Anabeth.

"Mabuti at pinayagan ka parin ng alpha na magtrabaho dito sa apothecary."

Kasalukuyan siyang nag-iinat ng mga braso nang lumingon ako sa kanya. "Bakit hindi?"

Nagkibit balikat si Anabeth. "Base lang sa mga naririnig ko tungkol sa pagiging mate. The bond you two have is a powerful thing. It would greatly benefit the two of you if you strengthen the bond by being together."

Humarap sa'kin si Anabeth habang nananatili sa kanyang upuan.

"Take Sir Zander at Lady Laura for example," dagdag niya. "Alam ng lahat na malaking parte ng pagiging epektibong leader ni Sir Zander ay si Lady Laura. Kapag nagkakaroon ng malaking problema sa bayan, si Lady Laura ang tanging nakakapagpakalma at pinapakinggan ng dating alpha."

"But... they're married," I tried to say.

"Exactly," stated Anabeth. "That's why they made the most out of the bond they have. But we both know how patient Sir Zackary is when it comes to you. He will patiently wait and look after you while you build your identity here in Van Zanth."

"Is that... a bad thing?"

Umiling si Anabeth. "In a perfect world, it's commendable. Pero madaming bagay ang nakasalalay sa inyong dalawa. And the more the alpha is holding back, the more time you allow people to interfere, specially the council."

Nagdalawang isip si Anabeth bago muling nagsalita. "Isa ito sa mga pinagaalala ng mga dating pinuno. Narinig ko ito mismo mula kay Uncle Sebastian."

Anabeth's statement left me in silence.

Because I didn't know how to be a mate. There's still a lot of things I needed to learn. Zackary has been very patient with me... but was he holding back?

***