Chapter 48: Courage

Mate.

Nanatili ang salitang ito sa aking isip. Pero hindi maaari ang sinabi ni Zackary. How can someone like me be the alpha's mate? I was not  strong enough or came from a high profile family. I was stranger in this place just months ago.

And Rebecca... alam ng lahat kung sino si Rebecca sa bayang ito. Hindi ko mapapalitan o mapapantayan ang isang tulad niya. Maaaring nagkakamali si Zackary.

Kinabukasan, isa sa mga staff ang naghatid ng agahan sa aking kwarto. Tinanong ko siya kung kailan ako maaaring makalabas ng hospital. Pero ayon sa kanya, kailangan ko pang manatili ng ilang araw para mabawi ang aking lakas.

Laking tuwa ko nang bisitahin ako ni Anabeth at Zanra bandang hapon. Matagal na din mula noong nakita ko silang magkasama. Dala nila ang ilang tangkay ng yellow tulip na nakabalot sa papel pagpasok sa kwarto ko.

"How is our selfless Eleanor?" tanong ni Zanra bago umupo sa isang bakanteng silya.

"I'm okay," I answered, managing a smile. "I'm glad you came to visit."

"My brother is seriously making a big deal of who can visit you," komento ni Zanra. "But I can't blame him. After what happened, he didn't want to take risk."

"Pero okay lang ako dito. Ligtas ako sa hospital," paliwanag ko.

Abala si Anabeth sa pagpapalit ng mga bulaklak sa vase nang bigla siyang magsalita. "Makakaya mo ba ang sarili mo kapag biglang  bumisita ang council dito?" Humarap siya sa'min hawak ang glass vase na puno ng yellow tulips saka pinatong ito sa mesang katabi ng aking higaan.

"May dahilan ba para bisitahin nila ako?"

Umupo si Anabeth sa silya sa tabi ni Zanra at pareho nila akong pinagmasdan. "Because Zackary, our alpha, had recognized you as his mate."

Muli ko nanamang narinig ang salitang 'yon. Pagaalinlangan ang dulot nito sa'kin. Mas natatakot ako sa magiging epekto nito kay Zackary  kesa sa nararamdaman ko.

"Hindi ito para sa'kin..." Tama si Zackary. Masyado pa akong nangangamba para makita ang totoo, para maramdaman ang kanilang sinasabi.

"Eleanor." Batid ni Zanra ang takot na nararamdaman ko. "Both of your actions were enough evidence, and it gets harder and harder not to notice."

Tumango si Anabeth, sumasang-ayon.

"Just think of it this way, Eleanor," dagdag ni Zanra. "Rebecca was also part of the incident, the woman who everyone believed was the mate. Pero sino ang pinuntahan ng kapatid ko? Sino ang dahilan kung bakit nawalan siya ng kontrol dahil sa matinding galit nang makita kang duguan?"

"At alam ito ng lahat ng taong kasama sa insidente," said Anabeth. "As much as they were confused, they've felt it too... that you are no  ordinary resident in this town."

Hindi ko magawang sumagot o tingnan nang deretso ang kanilang mga mukha. Isang bagay ang pilit pumapasok sa aking isipin. "Ang mga magulang mo..." tahimik kong tanong kay Zanra. "Alam ba nila ang tungkol dito?"

Ms. Laura and Sir Zander... naging malaking dahilan sila kung bakit nagawa kong manatili sa Van Zanth. Hindi ko sila gustong madismaya sa'kin.

Maging si Anabeth at humarap kay Zanra, interesadong malaman ang sagot. "Matagal din nilang pinaniwalaan na si Rebecca ang mate ng kapatid mo, hindi ba?"

Zanra pursed her lips for a second, tila nag-iisip kung paano sasabihin ang mga bagay sa kanyang isipan. Matapos ang ilang segundo, isang buntong hininga ang lumabas sa kanyang bibig.

"We... were aware of the truth."

"The truth?" Pareho kami ni Anabeth na hindi makuha ang ibig niyang sabihin.

Napansin ko ang bahagyang pag-iwas ni Zanra na harapin kami. "Since young, I was aware of an agreement between the two families that involved Zackary and Rebecca."

A silent gasp escaped Anabeth's lips. Her eyes fluttered wide open.

"They said it would ensure the stable progress, security and positive connection of the town to the council. The Mavens are the most influential family in this town next to us so this agreement became an insurance for Van Zanth's future."

"Don't tell me it was a marriage agreement?"

Ang tambol na nagsimula sa aking dibdib ay tuluyang nakarating sa  aking tenga. Wala akong ibang marinig kundi ang malakas na tibok ng aking puso nang itanong ni Anabeth ang nasa isip ko. Doon ko napagtanto kung gaano ako natatakot sa maaaring isagot ni Zanra. Nagtitimpi akong takpan ang aking tenga.

"My parents wouldn't agree on such thing," explained Zanra. "But it  was the possibility that both families agreed on. Once Zackary and Rebecca reach the legal age, the decision would be vested on them to fulfill the agreement and this expectation was instilled on them at a  young age."

"That sucks," commented Anabeth. "Pressure and expectations can change a person, you know? And knowing the alpha, hindi na ako magtataka kung bakit pumayag siya."

Pilit ngumiti si Zanra. "Since Zackary knew so well of this agreement  and the things that relied on it, specially under his leadership, he didn't thought of breaking it, so did Rebecca. That was why when they both turned eighteen, the elders wanted the town to believe that they were mates to build a heavier trust and reliance to the future ruler family of  this town."

Sumandal si Anabeth sa upuan at napatingin sa kisame. "Nakuha ko na kung bakit..." aniya sabay buntong hininga. "An alpha and a council member's daughter? It was too good to be true, and it fed people's hopes."

"Isang bagay lang ang hindi nila inaasahan," muling sabi ni Zanra. "They've set the whole agreement believing that mates are legends nowadays. It was almost impossible for mates to cross paths in this lifetime."

"But Eleanor came to the picture," Anabeth exclaimed. "She and Sir Zackary crossed paths in Fabrice and she unexpectedly became part of Van Zanth."

"I used to ask Zackary when we were young..." stated Zanra. "What would he do if he found his mate? He was never someone who defy traditions and long held agreements. He would never defy the town he worked his entire life to lead."

Nakatitig sa'kin si Zanra na may maliit na ngiti sa labi. "He never answered my questions back then... but I'm witnessing his answer  now."

The fairy tale I used to believe as a kid was slowly happening to me.  But story books failed to teach me the most important thing. It was learning to accept good things... despite seeing myself unworthy of  them.

The conversation with Zanra and Anabeth lingered in my head the  entire day. Pagdating ng gabi, pinagmasdan ko ang madilim na  kalangitan mula sa bintana.

I've seen the same sky in different circumstances, in different places and cities. It had witnessed my desire to live a normal life... only a normal life.

--

After a few more days, finally I was out of the hospital. Si Senior  Violeta at Senior Rowena ang nag-asikaso ng aking paglabas. Maging si Anabeth ay kasama nila.

Muli akong nakabalik sa apothecary matapos ang higit isang buwan. The tower, the main building, the garden at greenhouse. I've missed everything about the place.

Tinulungan ako ni Anabeth na dalhin ang ilang gamit sa aking kwarto. Nang maipatong ang mga ito sa mesa, agad akong umupo sa kama. Brushing the soft sheets with my open palms, I told Anabeth about my plans of going back to working in the tower, foraging and tending the greenhouse.

"That's a lot of work for someone who's still recovering," nakahalukipkip ang mga braso na komento niya. "We don't want the alpha to get mad, you know."

"Hindi niya kailangang malaman."

Otomatikong umarko ang kilay ni Anabeth. Nagtungo siya sa tapat ng bintana at hinawi ang kurtina. Binalik niya ang tingin sa'kin na tila may gustong ipakita. Tumayo ako mula sa kama para masulyapan ang kanyang tinutukoy.

From where we were standing, we could see a part of the main gate where two orders were stationed, guarding the area. My gaze darted back to Anabeth.

"You're now an alpha's mate, Eleanor. Sir Zackary might not want to disrupt your job in the apothecary but you are no longer a normal  citizen in this town."

Muli akong sumulyap sa dalawang orders na nakabantay sa gate. "Hindi ba ito makakasagabal sa kanila? Hindi nila ako kailangang paglaanan ng oras."

A sigh escaped Anabeth's lips. Pabagsak siyang umupo sa isang bakanteng silya at nakahalukipkip parin ang mga braso nang humarap sa'kin.

"You worry too much about other people's feelings, Eleanor. It is considered high honor to serve the mate of the alpha who's going to be part of the family that rules this town. Ikaw lang talaga ang hindi nakakakita nito."

Part of the ruler family... but I didn't thought of it that way. I just wanted to help Zackary and to give back to the people who had accepted me  here.

--

The next day, Anabeth and I received an invitation through the apothecary mailbox. An envelope with the distinct golden stamp of the Van Zanth family for Zanra and Zackary's birthday celebration this weekend.

"Pupunta ka ba?" asked Anabeth over dinner.

Anabeth knew what relies on this invitation. Mula noong nabanggit ito  ni Zanra noong bumisita siya sa hospital, hindi na ito nawala sa isipan  ko.

Siguradong hindi lamang mga tao sa bayan ang dadalo. People with high positions from all over the district and from Fabrice were expected to attend, including the council. To attend means to confirm the truth... truth I wasn't prepared to face.

But I didn't want to leave Zackary alone with them. I didn't want him to be the only person sacrificing and protecting both of us. I don't fully understand it yet... but I couldn't let him get hurt because of what we have.

I want to be worthy to stand beside him.

Matapos ang hapunan, isa sa mga staff ang lumapit sa'kin at sinabing naghihintay ang alpha sa labas ng building. Agad akong nagtungo sa courtyard nang hindi kinukuha ang coat ko mula sa kwarto, which I realized was a mistake. It was a cold night and the air was frosty and nipping my skin.

Nasilayan ko si Zackary na nakatayo sa courtyard, hinihintay ang pagdating ko. Sumilay ang ngiti sa labi ko at patakbong nagtungo sa kanya.

"Zack..."

Ang kanina lang nakakunot niyang noo at magkasalubong na kilay ay unti-unting umaliwalas nang masilayan ako. The minimal light from the courtyard highlighted the sharp edges of his face. His stiff jaw, the  slope of his nose, and the way he stood intimidatingly tall in front of  me.

"I should have visited you sooner." His voice was low, like a rumble.

Umiling ako. "Alam kong abala ka sa ibang bagay."

Bigla niyang inalis ang suot na itim na coat at ipinatong ito sa aking balikat. Hindi ko napigilang pagmasdan ang kanyang mukha habang inaayos niya ang coat para sa'kin.

"Zack..." I asked. "Do you want to go for a walk with me?"

Nagtaka siya sa hindi inaasahang alok mula sa'kin pero kalaunan ay pumayag din. Tahimik kaming naglakad sa garden, sa ilalim ng makikintab na bituin sa langit.

Zackary held one of my hands with his, where veins scattered on his knuckles. Without his coat on, I noticed how his toned arm and wide shoulders strained against the fabric of his white shirt.

The pathway we were walking on led to the greenhouse kung saan karamihan sa mga ilaw ay nakabukas pa. The place was glimmering in the dark, lights shining through walls and roof panels like a golden glass house.

I asked Zackary if it was okay to go inside. He only pressed my hand before I led the way for both of us. The comforting smell of earth and green greeted us inside. The plants seemed asleep, at peace in their worlds.

We walked near the pond where large waterlily beds settled on the surface of the water and the branches of the surrounding trees were reaching the roof.

Naging tahimik kami pareho, a comforting silence. Dahil nitong mga nakaraan, tuwing magkasama kami, tila lagi kaming nasasaktan, lumuluha.

I faced him, trying to gain the courage to utter the words. "You don't have to fight alone, Zack. Tell me if there's something I can do to help you."

He remained standing next to me, holding my hand. "Just like this..."

Hindi ko naintindihan ang ibig niyang sabihin.

"Stay by my side just like this and I'll be okay." His gaze settled on my face with a lingering look. "I'm not asking for anything else. I can fight for both of us."

Before I could even say a word, the greenhouse suddenly turned dim signaling it was already nine in the evening and a staff had turned off most of the lights in the garden and greenhouse.

"Zack..." We remained standing in front of each other. "I've received an invitation today..."

Ramdam ko ang paghugot niya nang malalim na hininga. "Zanra must have sent it."

"Is it a bad thing?" I whispered in the dark.

His rough palm reached for the side of my face, thumb caressing my cheek. "I know you will feel the need to decide because of it. I don't  want to rush you."

"I..." I took a shaky breath. "I want to go."

Sa gitna ng madilim na paligid, nanatili siyang nakatitig sa'kin habang marahang hinahaplos ang aking mukha.

"I know I'm still not worthy to stand next to you," I told him. "But I won't leave you alone-"

My words were torn from the edges when Zackary snaked his arm  around my waist and pulled me to his body, while his other arm  remained cupping my jaw.

"Zack-"

Our lips met for a brief moment... like a feather descending. Light, pleasant. His lips were warm, soft, skimming the surface of my cold, shivering lips.

"It's the other way around, Eleanor," he whispered in between the light kisses. "You are too perfect, an angel. And I'm nothing but an alpha  who only knew blood and violence, trying to be deserving enough for you."

I raised both of my hand to touch his face, feeling the slopes of his features, the roughness of his skin, the prick of light stubble all over his jaw.

I stood on tip toe and reached for him to kiss him once again.

I used to think I will never find a place where I could feel safe, where I could celebrate who I am. But in his arms, I've never felt so safe. With his lips on mine, it's okay to be who I am.

Breathless, I stood on my two feet again, face flushed from the kiss.  With both of my hands still touching his face, my cheeks lifted up to a smile.

"We'll face them together."

***

Author's Note:

Hi! It's been a while since I've checked on my readers here. How are you? How's the story so far? I would loved to hear your thoughts about it, it makes me excited to write an update. So please don't hesitate to share your feels!

You can also reach me through twitter breatheapril or use the hashtag #neverbetamed for this story. I usually hang around to read your feels haha!

Thank you all so much for reading this story and for loving elyazack. We've come so far and thank you for sticking with me! Until the next chapter!

Your author foraging in Van Zanth,
April