"I bet you didn't know that
I would do anything to be with you.
But mostly I bet you didn't know
how much I love you"
◁Grey's Anatomy▷

●●●

"Joe, what else did he take from you?" She whispered and I shook my head, she should have known.

"Are you fucking serious right now? How fucking blind can you be. Look at me! I have not fucking hidden how much I despise this fucking relationship. I have watched you with John and I stood by Nicole. I held my tongue as much as I could because I didn't know then. But you can see it, can't you?" I practically pleaded as I stared into her confused eyes.

Did she honestly think all of this was simply because I lost my best friend when I had been supporting her through every bad thing or decision she could have fucking done all these years. The fact that Brie and Dean had pointed out that she was probably confused due to me suddenly ditching her made me realize she should have known.

She had to have realized there was more..

"See what, Joe? You speak in riddles each time. I don't understand, you give me this look and I know you wish I knew but I don't. I saw it after I saw you when I was with Colby, I know you hate me I know I hurt you. I know I betrayed you too but you have to understand that there is a reas..."

But she didn't or refused to.

"I don't care what your fucking reasons are. Because you are with him and I fucking love you. I am fucking in love with you. I have always been in love with you and I know I haven't shown it but how could you not see how much I needed you this entire year?"

She had to have seen how I was being tested each week, she should have known how much I needed her then.

"We have promised to always be there and I never needed you more than I have this year. Ever since you left I have been going downhill and you weren't here, you couldn't be, I fucking get it. Or actually I don't, you go on these family vacations, fly here with him, most likely fly everywhere where he is needed. But no, I lose at TLC and you leave me. I win my first major title on Jojo's birthday after it was ripped away from me the month before. I don't hear from you, your phone is off."

She glanced away, I knew she hated me raising my voice which was becoming louder and louder as I remembered every single time I needed her. Even just her voice...

"Coco could fucking care less about even wishing my little girl. The woman I love just fucking abandons me and I am tested and tested and tested, over and over again because nobody believes or sees the work I put in. I hear I can't wrestle, tonight I heard that I can't fucking wrestle. Thousands of people chanting shit to get me down but I rise but does that bring me the happiness you can? No. Then I go home and I'm fucking happy with Jojo but then I leave and I'm back. Back dealing with people who just want to see me fail because despite supporting me on my run to the title, when I worked for the opportunity they deemed me unworthy. Now I'm on top but I'm nothing on top without you when we said we would be there together..."

She moved forward but I shrugged her off and glared at her as she became a blur.

I had been holding it all in for so long because I didn't have her. I didn't have my best friend to confide in, I didn't have the woman I loved to be vulnerable in front of. I didn't have her and I needed her, I still needed her but I was so fucking mad at her.

"Fucking nobody.. I go against all odds at the Rumble hoping to retain my title but I lose. One versus fucking all and I lose; nothing from you. I'm sitting there seeing it all being taken from me and I can't do anything. Everyone is fucking counting on me and I can't do fucking anything!"

I punched into the wall ignoring the pain travelling from my knuckles because of it and pulled on my hair.

"You can say I have your sister, I have Jon. But they fucking weren't you and you knew that but where were you while I was being fucked over? You were fucking the man who started it all, that's what my best friend was doing when I needed her. That's what the woman I love was doing when I needed her, when I needed to hold her when I needed a way to not be a fucking pussy when I had to face my daughter. When I couldn't hide the sadness at a loss because that title was all I had here until I went home to my little girl. When I broke my fucking nose, did I hear from you? No. I went from having you everywhere to you disappearing and now you come in here and try to be here for me because your boyfriend was the cause of me being surprised tonight? When this has all been him!"

I faced her again, seeing her jump as her tears fell. They always fell when mine did because we felt everything but I hated seeing them then. Because I couldn't feel her hurt, all I felt was the anger filling me. The anger that she had played a part in creating because she was the reason he was here.

She had helped him, she had been helping him while I was on my own. My best friend abandoned me to take care of another guy while I was breaking.

Breaking because I couldn't handle the boos and the hate being thrown around me. I was breaking and nobody saw it because Roman fucking Reigns could handle it all. The Guy could give a fuck what anyone thought about him. But Joe fucking couldn't be that once he went behind the curtain, Joe needed his savior. He needed her reassuring voice and her holding him not even knowing he needed it.

The only person that could have known his empire was crumbling from the inside, was gone.

The only person who could help me didn't see me anymore...

"How was I supposed to know you needed me Joe? Tell me how I was supposed to know that you needed me when you found someone else. Why are you so mad at me for doing the same as you, you say you love me but you have her. You have someone too and yet I am being screamed at for wronging you when you are the actual one who found a savior in someone else's arms. Someone who wasn't me! You have no right to be pissed at me when you are with Sasha! You had Sasha before I even thought of moving on."

"What?" I frowned and realized that's who she was talking about all this time again. Having it thrown in my face for the third fucking time when she had no fucking confirmation from me.

"You think because you keep it a secret I won't know? You're telling me about betrayal, about not being there for you? I wasn't there for you because the moment I left I was replaced Joe. I was forgotten by you, I hoped that I would get a phone call but no and I was so confused. And I believed that you were busy that it hurt you knowing that perhaps my career ended with me losing my last match because you decided that I needed to quit. That my health was important that perhaps you felt guilty but no. You found someone else, Colby told me okay? And I see it now. You have found a new best friend , better yet someone to fuck with. You are trying so hard to hurt me when I already am because of you. "

She pushed me back as I saw the hurt evident in her eyes and I moved away from her.

They shouldn't have been there because the words were untrue.

I chuckled as I roughly wiped my tears hating how I let my anger lead to the harsh tears pouring, " are you fucking serious right now?"

"Yes laugh at me Joe" She sobbed and I couldn't believe he fucking told her that.

I ran my hand over my face wiping the tears that wouldn't stop falling as I tried not to push past Nicole and find my fucking former brother and beat the shit out of him.

"Oh I find nothing fucking funny here. Unlike you I would have let you know if I found someone. Yes Sasha might be a close friend but I'm fucking not with Sasha! She is with Jimmy or in the process of being with him. Colby lied to you, its what he does best. He makes you believe you are a family and he fucking lies to you and deceives you. I am not being a fucking hypocrite because guess what, I am all alone Nicole!"

I hadn't seen the point in getting to Sasha, let alone revealing something before her and Jimmy were solid but it was Nicole and I didn't want her thinking she had to compete with anyone else or feel replaced.

I was feeling that pain and I hated the idea of that filling her. I was angry and I knew ignoring her hurt her but she should never have second guessed where she stood in my life.

"No no..He wouldn't lie to me he probably misunderstood." She whispered going from raising her voice louder than mine to confusion filling her face again.

"Stop making excuses for him. You can't see what he is like, you are blinded because you fucking care about everyone, even when they don't fucking deserve it. I know because we are the fucking same Nicole and that's why we are perfect for each other, because I know your heart and you know mine. We fucking know what lengths we would go to, to be there for someone in need. Yet we fucking failed each other somehow, I know I'm not fucking innocent because I should have called but..." I breath out as I stared at her briefly taking in the damage in the room that I would have to pay for in the morning.

"He cares about me too.." She whispered seeming unsure as she did, the familiar voice of confusion where she tried so hard to make someone happy but she was left feeling confused on where she stood in their life.

I moved towards her, knowing the roar was gone and I was back to being concerned about the woman that sometimes I wished I didn't love.

But I knew myself and I knew that while Galina ruled my heart for so long and subtly always would. Nicole filled it now and I had no choice in the matter, it didn't matter how mad she made me or how much I felt like ripping my heart out. Nicole Garcia was the woman I loved and I was at fault for not realizing it before she left...

"Do you care about me?" I questioned, normally I wouldn't have to ask but when I had been forgotten so many times I wasn't sure.

"Joe..I... yes always" She sighed as she moved over to the bed, away from me.

She made a mistake, yet she wouldn't apologize for accusing me of being with someone. She wouldn't apologize for believing I was with someone new. I didn't expect her to either because if I did then I definitely wouldn't have known her...

"Then why are you with him?"

The room became quiet again as she sunk to the floor in front of the bed and I joined her.

"What?" She croaked while I could feel my cheeks being stained with mine that had stopped, her tears were still falling.

We hardly ever fought and I knew then I had been wearing her down by being so distant. I saw her barely a handful of times in the past months but each time I was cold towards her it hurt her and I knew it, deep down I did because I knew she was trying not to show it just as I was.

We were both so stubborn, both being hurt and now we just exploded.

I leaned forward and picked up the shirt I had been planning to slip on, before she opened the door, so she could wipe her face. As usual us being broken led to us sitting at the foot of the bed but this time it wasn't because we screwed up with anyone else or we felt defeated due to what someone else did.

We had hurt each other.

"You came in here because you thought I was with Sasha right?" I questioned calmly while she picked at her fingers.

"No" She simply said which was enough.

"Yes you did. Do you want to be with me Nicole?" I asked as I moved in front of her.

"Don't do that" her voice faded as she stared at me.

I had never been the reason for her tears before and I wished I wouldn't be again. But it was clear the future liked to fuck with us...

"Its a simple question Nicole. Do you want to be with me? Yes or fucking no" I briefly closed my eyes knowing that if I didn't get the answer I seeked I would go back to where I was moments before.

"I have him Joe, you can't do this now" She looked everywhere but me. I wasn't sure if she understood exactly what I was asking.

"Jojo misses you and I don't know what to tell her." I confessed, once Nicole had ended things with John she would come home with me on our off days instead of being alone in her apartment so of course Jojo became used to the idea of seeing her.

"I can still see Jojo."

I shook my head and stood up, moving away from her as the sadness on my daughter's face burned in my mind. Because I saw on her face what I had felt for months on end.

"No. You were gone because you had to be with him so when she asked. You were busy comforting him" I shrugged accepting that hearing my love for her did nothing because it would never be me.

While she was clearly upset she hadn't admitted anything because there was nothing to admit from her, I had hoped for something, anything but nothing...

"Its not easy for him either Joe. He wanted to be on top just as much as we did.."

We?

"We? Since when is there a we? Cause its clear I'm just the fucking best friend here. And its okay, I can't force you to want something simply because my heart chose to love you. But being on top? That's what everyone wants Nicole. He had it before, he had it with you last year so I guess I was the blind one here because this was a year in the making. Maybe you were even plotting with him last year when he stole my way to the top so he could rule with you. Is that what this was? A means of getting who you truly wanted by your side all along. Was I fucking feeling shit I shouldn't have? Why am I even asking I..."

"I love you, I have loved you for so long.."

I turned and searched her eyes feeling the anger fill me that I wished would leave but she was making it so hard for me to let it all go.

I knew she loved me but I was in love with her.

"Then why are you with him?" If she felt the same then why was it made to be so difficult.

"He was there when I needed him to be" She shrugged.

"That's not fair Nicole. You know all the shit I went through here, I couldn't take time off and you were off from the world so how.."

"I know Joe." She nodded and I knew she wasn't holding onto it despite throwing it back at me.

"Then tell me what you are trying to imply?"

"He was there when I needed someone that's all. I wish there was more to say but I can't leave him now. You should know all too well that what you present to everyone isn't always what happens behind closed doors" She stated as if I were meant to understand it all.

"And if he weren't injured?" I raised my eyebrow while she closed her eyes not wishing to face me.

"Joe..."

"Just watch if he comes back to the roster and you're still walking around like this. See if he cares then. He was weak Nicole, away from the thing he loves most and you were there. Now he's going to have it all and then where will you be? The difference between me, who you love, and the men you choose to be in love with is that even when I had all of this, even when I was given the push..."

I glanced at the title lying on the bed before looking at her again.

"...you were always a priority to me, did I get upset because you turned your back on your sister? No! Did I get upset when my push faded and you were soaring? No. Because I would be catching up and I never really wanted to be on top. I just wanted to be beside you. The men you are madly in love with, love wrestling more than they could love you. And you will always be second to the title. I'm not saying this title doesn't mean a lot to me but I have bigger, greater loves. My daughter is my first and then... "

I shook my head not wanting to add her because I knew my words would cause her to be angry soon, she knew what I was saying was true and most of the time she would hate me for it .

"You're not being fair, Joe. You need to forgive and forget"

"That's all you have? You need to stop believing what every guy tells you!" I spat hating that after everything I said. Everything I let her know she chose him over me, but as she looked at me I knew those words crossed a line.

"Except you right? Because I'm only allowed to be with you? Almost ten years I have known you since FCW, since you taught me all the things I needed to know. I left you and then you came up years later and I was still there. I was there through it all, that's why John and I broke up because I always had you.
Once you came up all I saw was you again, when I had Nick you provided me with a safety zone. Nick was too busy to even notice that it was you. " She glared allowing her anger to consume her instead of the hurt.

"You! On my mind Joe, I told him you were my best friend but John saw it. So I chose you over him, I left him because I didn't want to have to choose between a guy I realized I didn't love more than I loved my best friend.
He saw what I didn't see until I was home all by myself and all I could do was think. All those years everything we went through together and you didn't want me Joe and now that your foe is with me, you want me? I said Never Alone but the only one who broke it was you, when over a year after Galina I still wasn't what you wanted while I waited on the sidelines.
I was with you and that was always enough because you make me so fucking happy but I might as well have been alone because I felt unwanted by the man I wanted to be with so badly. I'm not going to leave Colby simply because you only opened your eyes when you saw I wasn't waiting anymore..."

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Well that was intense 😓😓😓
Hopefully you liked as this was the most they have shared since it all went wrong and damn writing this chapter got me on an emotional rollercoaster😢😢
BUT once again thank you for reading Bella+RomanEmpire👊👑