"Some people will make you so full
others will leave you starving.
Choose wisely on who you
feed your energy to"
Mia Poetry

◈◈◈

"I don't know how you even manage being away from him for a single day, let alone a week!" Carmella pouted as it had been over a week since I had seen my husband.

Husband!

It still felt unreal to even mention. I was Mrs Joseph Leati Anoa'i, I was a Mrs...

I would probably remind myself every single day because even with two rings in my possessions it was so surreal. Joe hadn't been in contact really as he had back to back appearances since we got back to Cabo. We had enjoyed our weeks off so much that we had almost forgotten there was a reality other than our wedded bliss.

Taking separate flights from Cabo was the worst and not just for the two of us. Our trip had been everyone reuniting after our wedding so it sucked that it was back to the divisions once more. Of course my Joe had tried to keep in touch but I knew it was him losing sleep to do so, so I would just shut it off and text him a command.

It was good getting a couple weeks off, away from the world though and just being surrounded by the people who mattered and who cared about me. Not by the hate or negativity that was forced upon any idea of me being with Joe. Some people thought he was too good for me and others thought I downgraded from John. It was so silly to me how they assumed they knew what had happened. I knew by the look in John's eyes during our confrontation that he had either cheated on me or fallen for April whilst being with me and the ultimatum was his way out no matter how much he would try to deny it.

"You two are adorable" Becky smiled as she was getting her hair done. It made me want to just announce that we were more than adorable but newlyweds. However, with the lives we lived I wanted this one thing to be between us for as long as it could be. I was on wedded bliss and didn't want negative comments or it being brought into my feud.

I saw Brie was facetiming me and excused myself from the women who were getting prepared for Smackdown that had started about half hour before but my eyes widened seeing my husband's face.
"Joe, what are you..."

"Hello to you too, Mrs Anoa'i" he smirked clearly having expected my surprised reaction.

I smiled and just wanted to kiss the screen cause his face looked so perfect even if it was a slight blur due to the signal. My kind brown eyes staring back at me was something I had missed. "You've been declining all my calls"

I pouted due to his sad tone, "I know but I know you had a hectic schedule. Colby told me you were drained and I didn't want you to have to force a conversation when you needed the sleep."

"Since when is any conversation with you forced? " He shook his head disapprovingly.

"How are you calling from Brie's phone?" I questioned having been too distracted by his gorgeous face before.

"There's a house show in Phoenix. Your whole family is here." He turned the camera briefly and I saw my mom, Lola with little Viv and Brie.

"Oh I wish I was there" I pouted and he did the same before moving and I realized he had left the room.

It had been awhile since my family had been able to attend one of my shows and there all of them were, supporting my man. I loved that they were, my Joe was officially an in-law to them, part of my family and me his and even though we always were my heart felt overwhelmed by that beautiful realization.

"You know, over a week without my woman is not ideal for me" he cleared his throat and I giggled realizing my sweet Joe was missing my body.

"I know it sucks. But hey you went years without it" I shrugged before leaning against the wall to steady myself.

"Fuck yes. But now you're my wife, it seems crazy not to be able to have you whenever I want. I mean I miss you on a whole.."

"But you're missing my hole" I smirked and he simply shook his head with a small chuckle. "Ah I can't see you blushing on here, gosh you're so hot. I love the beard growing in again"

"I'll be shaving it tomorrow again." He added running his tongue over his lip, seducing me in the process.

"But you're seeing me later in the week" I half nagged.

"I know, the last time my beard was thick you had a rash on your inner thigh." He pointed out.

"Its called friction and I don't mind a rash when it feels good against my skin, gives me good goosebumps" I loved his beard so much, he just seemed more animalistic with it and it was just an added bonus to the Samoan God he already was.

"Its annoying to maintain" he ran his hand over it and I smiled as I was sure it was more convenient than his usual style but he often stated it felt like a growth on his face. Guys and their annoyances that attempted to ruin my impure thoughts.

"Okay" I rolled my eyes.

"Now don't be like that." He chuckled with an eye roll of his own.

I smiled, "I'm sorry, I just love the beard but I love you without it too. So you're welcome to shave it, I just can't wait to put my lips all over that face."

"Me neither, I really miss you backstage" he sighed and I remembered what had occurred last week on Raw.

"I'm sorry you lost your title, Joe" It was an annoying thing to have to watch your husband lose his title in his first match back after vacation. Granted it was a handicap match so he shouldn't have felt weak due to the loss. I just selfishly wished he could have a long reign, I loved that Vince wanted to give him a shot at all titles but he deserved to run the place with a title for a longer period.

"Its okay. At least I got to hold it you know?" He smiled. "Colby got me some donuts afterwards and everything. It wasn't the same though, especially since Charlotte joined us and I felt like a third wheel."

"Oh my poor husband. And how dare he make you feel like a third wheel over our donuts?" I rolled my eyes.

"That's what I said after she left" he chuckled. "I didn't mind though, they seem to be a good pair"

"I know I hoped they would be. And I have high hopes you will get your title back. I loved being your first lady" I winked and reminded myself to speak to Renee.

"You're always my first lady, Nicole. I gotta get going but I love you, have a good show"

"I love you too and make my family proud" I blew him a kiss before the screen went blank and I was left without my husband once again.

"You are supposed to be smiling after speaking to your husband, Nikki" I heard Jon and shrugged.

"You know how it is. You can't wait to speak to them and when you do you wish they were up close and then you just get sad cause they can't be" I sighed and saw the playful look leave his face and regretted saying it but he wasn't a stranger to whining about missing my sister.

"That's true. But we're seeing them soon, we just gotta get through the show." He smiled.

"Easier said than done, I have a match with Nattie tonight. Falls Count Anywhere.." I mumbled and he smiled.

"Now that's what I'm talking about, you should be excited."

I was excited, it was yet another opportunity for me to get my name in the history books. Another match to defend myself and Joe against all the haters and fight alongside someone who taught me how to wrestle. Our storyline was drawing to a close soon enough so I liked to take advantage of the match aspect for as long as I could. The segments that would follow I hoped would be easier on me...

"I am, don't get me wrong. Its just that I miss Joe a lot, and I mean backstage. He had so long to get used to my absence and he had Brie and you too. I came back here and I was just thrown into the deep end..." I admitted.

"I will try not to take any offense to that.."

"You know what I mean. We bust each other's shit, we aren't exactly the lovey friendship type and I don't want that to change. You're my annoying brother and I'm your high class sister" I nudged him as we all had different relationship dynamics. Joe just happened to be everything rolled into one big Samoan hottie. I missed not having to tell someone how I was feeling, he would always just know. Now I found myself feeling things and then brushing them off because our time was limited.

"Be that as it may, you have helped me a lot without your sister. Just saying" he shrugged. "Look, I can't be a big Samoan but if you need a guy to be waiting for you first thing after your match I will be there. If I don't find some good chicken, then I may get distracted and.."

I giggled and shook my head, "Its not that. Its just he knows me inside and out. And things are just a lot for me, John's going to be here tonight and I am dreading an encounter with him. I just need Joe for everything and he can't be here so I don't let him know when we talk or if I do I just make it sound dramatic. But he is my best friend so I just need him to just know that I'm not okay even when I don't realize it."

"Are you not okay now?" He frowned as he searched my eyes, his playful tone disappearing.

"I am. I'm a newly wed, I'm so happy. I'm going to make history with Nattie, I'm on top of the world, I just miss my person that's all."

He nodded, "well I will be your substitute person. As long as you come with me to diaper changing classes."

"Diaper changing classes?" I couldn't prevent my face scrunching up at that.

"Yeah figured I should try and impress Brie by knowing some things." I smiled due to his goofy smile, it was like each time I forgot the father to my niece would be the lunatic he would just speak some random shit that popped into his head and bam.

"And where did you find these classes exactly?" I eyed him sceptically as this was Jon after all.

"I haven't found them yet but when I do.."

"Okay Jon" I nodded knowing it would probably never happen. But knew that besides the goofing around he was someone I could rely on. Yes he was a lunatic but he had the biggest heart within that asylum. So I guess he would do as my new work person...

■■■

I made my way backstage with Nattie a lot quicker than I had planned. While I was expecting some amazing match? On my way down to the ring I had been ambushed by Natalya and once she made her way out to the ring Bryan informed me that we would just have a brawl. A bummer I know but they wanted to continue building the anticipation and apparently me screaming out in pain as she laid out the sharpshooter seemed fit.

"I hope I didn't hurt you, I really thought you knew about the ambush" she rubbed my back and I smiled.

"Its okay. My neck is all good, don't you worry" I winked as it was a recurring question. Some would ask directly while others would beat around the bush. But it always happened after the match, people were afraid they would accidentally end my career once and for all.

I froze as I saw John at the gorilla once Nattie spoke to Shane but nonetheless offered him a smile before deciding to move. I saw AJ Styles walking down the hallway letting me know they would have a segment soon.

"Good match out there" I heard him and realized he had followed me out.

"Thanks." I nodded with a small smile when I just wanted to leave, the last time I had spoken to him was before I was Mrs Anoa'i and being the wife of a man who truly loved me felt so empowering, so incredible. Looking at John just made me feel disgusted that I allowed myself to just be blind to so many things.

"Nicole."

I sighed, "John, I think I have established that I have nothing to say to you. I'm with Joe, there is no reason for us to talk."

"Why? Does it upset him?" He smirked and it felt like a repeat. When I had begun dating John, Nick had done the same attempts and constantly toyed with me. I guess its true what they say, once they see you happy they come crawling back.

But that was the thing, I was genuinely happy. Everything in my life was falling into place and maybe I wished things were slightly different at work. I hoped to have another title reign one day but that was it.

I was married to Joe, the people who mattered in my life were all getting along and all was well. So of course there would be a factor trying to ruin it all, John attempting to speak to me in hallways was nothing but that. An attempt, an attempt in hopes someone would tell Joe and have it be interpreted differently...

"No. He doesn't care if I speak to you because he knows there is no love lost but I would rather not"

He opened his mouth to say something but I turned and walked on instead of hearing him out. The last time I had done that all I had allowed was anger to fill me, guilt at allowing him to speak to me and try and win me back from Joe.

"That sass though!" I jumped but smiled as soon as I realized it was Renee.

"Just the woman I wanted to see"

"Oh and why is that?" She wiggled her eyebrows and set her page down she had been focused on.

"You know we have been so busy this last week. Everyone back at work, storylines being set for the Rumble and basically no time to think of anything else" I shrugged and she nodded along. "So I am going to forgive you for not telling anyone about your engagement to Bryan which I'm assuming you did accept?"

"I did." She giggled. "I absolutely did, its just that we just got off the high of your wedding so I didn't want to announce ours. And you know me its not a big deal, I will mention it in passing."

I nodded before staring at her, "you're waiting to tell Colby first?"

"Yeah I mean, I have never been a get hitched type of girl but I loved him so for a long time I believed he would be my fiance. I just.. He deserves to know before the rumours start and Bryan understands that."

"Its Bryan of course he does." I rolled my eyes as he was probably the most understanding guy after Joe.

"That is true. What happened with John? I thought you guys were cool?"

"That's what I thought. But I guess this storyline has just opened some old wounds or rather some lost romance in him." I mumbled.

"I guess that's what happens when you get dumped. You see the error in all your ways." She spoke before briefly reading over her notes once more for Talking Smack I assumed.

"What do you mean dumped?"

"I mean as in April broke up with him?" She frowned while I did as well having heard a completely different story from him.

"Where'd you hear that?"

"From Big E. They speak often, why? What did you hear?"

I sighed as I really didn't want John's sudden wanting me back to be news.

I had told Joe and that was enough and that's where it would end. Clearly John was as in Renee's words seeing error in his ways and he could go crawl back to April for that. I was done with him years ago and that definitely wasn't changing right now...

♥♥♥♥♥

This is my fourth update for 2018. How that even happened I don't know? Like where has this year gone! I'm so so sorry to all you guys, this year had just been intense.

Please let me know what you think. I had a plan last year for this book but obviously with the random updates I have lost my plans so I'm sorry if things seem weird. But hope you guys enjoyed it and let me know what you think!

The last time I updated I was ecstatic over Roman becoming Universal Champion and now he is not any longer. I wrote a chapter in my One Vs All book called Dear Joe just to vent so I will try not to talk too long about it here. But its insane, everyday I think its not real. I miss him so much as I'm sure all of you do. So let's just continue keeping Joe in our prayers while he kicks cancers ass.

These posts by the Bellas and Renee just warmed my heart for him.