"Sometimes we love with nothing
more than hope.
Sometimes we cry with
everything except tears."
●GREGORY DAVID ROBERTS , SHANTARAM●

■■■

July 2007

"Do we really have to come and train here? Like I'm all for improving our skills but we aren't rookies. We've been wrestling independently and..." I trailed off taking in the familiar views of random gym equipment with a ring in the center, each guy manning a different station and a few standing around. It was quite noisy, with the echoing, I mean I was grateful that they had chosen us from the Diva Search but I expected more. Not stuff similar to where we had been going in California...

"Nicole, we are lucky enough they even chose us. We went to one freaking wrestling school and the others haven't gotten back to us. This is where we want to be so if it means dealing with being outnumbered by testosterone then we'll do it."

"Well its better than this one." I mumbled underneath my breath but saw the familiar annoyance fill her face when I knew I was voicing things she was kind enough not to. But let me show up in a bad outfit and she's extremely vocal about it, we were twins but I swear Brie loved acting so sweet. I loved her though, she was my life partner so I had to.

"Vince said its a sort of underground type thing, they don't invest much in this which is weird. But I suppose the less flashy the better, that way when you come up its more of a surprise." She shrugged trying to see the brighter side of things while I saw us being buried in the underground depths.

"Or if you want to plan an improvement and get more TV time we have to show them how resilient we are, they want to stick us here we make the best of it" I sighed with some positivity, hearing the familiar body slamming grow louder.

"Hi you must be the twins, I'm Mark Carrano in charge of the talent around here. You're one, well two of three other women, Eve, Alicia and Rosa which will be making their way here later this week. Mr McMahon is very excited to work with you two and with you bringing a sort of diversity as a pair we might see you on TV sooner than planned" He smiled with a hopeful tone causing me to smile.

"Now we won't be doing anything today besides signing your contracts but be sure to take a look around and get comfortable with your surroundings. Wouldn't hurt to get to know a few people, you'll be seeing them every day and maybe even seeing them on the main roster with you." We nodded firmly before heading to sign our development contracts while I briefly glanced over the guys.

"Do you want to leave and get as much free time as we can or do you want to stay here and get to know more people?" I heard Brie as we left his office and I shrugged hearing orders being given and curiously peeked into one of the rooms.

"Oh my..." I giggled as I saw an attractive guy dressed in some sort of traditional wear and was elbowed by Brie to which I rolled my eyes.

"Its okay to laugh, darling. He looks quite odd, they see a Samoan they want to make him some guy from the forest." I heard a raspy voice and realized it was directed at my sister.

"My sister doesn't take to lightening up" I shrugged which led to her glaring my way while he chuckled and I realized he was in a pair of ripped jeans and a simple tee. He was cute I supposed.

"I'm Jon, and right now I'm seeing double. You guys are twins right because between you two and me I had a bit of a late night last night so maybe everything is just meshing into..."

"They're twins." I heard a short haired blonde who introduced himself as Nick.

"Oh well at least I ain't going crazy" he shrugged before moving onto set while the other guy walked off.

"So did you have any choice in your attire?" I asked him as I made my way to him and he smiled.

"Uhm well no. My dad basically told me to just go with the flow of things while we're in the minor leagues and they'd deem us easy to work with. Then once you get to the top you can hope for a change, but then again my dad dressed in a similar attire so he could just be hoping for some tribute to him" He shrugged which caused me to laugh out.

"I'm Nicole and that's my twin over there speaking to the blonde. We just signed our contracts." I explained.

"Ah that's going to cause some chaos around here, we're used to it being an all guys sort of vibe" he cringed.

"You have a problem with women?"

"Well no, if I did my girlfriend would be kicking my ass. I'm just saying, be expecting some lame pick-up lines" he chuckled before sipping from some water.

"You'd be a terrible wing man"

"That's why I'm not one. I'm more the one who enjoys his drink while watching the guys either get lucky or turned down."

I slowly nodded.

"Or the one ending up turning down women" I smiled while he frowned which caused me to frown. "Don't take this the wrong way but you're hot..."

"Aaaah you didn't even ask for my name" He chuckled as I hesitated, "I'm Leati, well Joe. And I think I'm okay, aint any The Rock or anything but."

"I've always liked Batista more" I randomly spoke thinking of the superstars while he only chuckled again.

"Stop doing that you're making me feel like an idiot"

"Maybe because you are one!" I heard Brie and rolled my eyes as she joined my side. "Hi, I'm Brie. The more reserved twin."

"Oh right, Brie. Just get a couple drinks in her and we see whose the wild one."

"I doubt she can keep up with me" I heard the raspy voice of the blonde, Jon?

"We're all about wrestling here guys!" I heard Carrano as he passed by before sighing.

"We'll see you around boys!" I shook my head and turned but felt a weight on my shoulders.

"How about a drink? On us. Take it as a welcoming to the land of wrestling." Jon shrugged while Joe simply chuckled.

"Yeah. One drink."

"Well you'll warm the bar up for us and while you go home we'll keep the party going. Try Brie Mode out." He winked over at Brie who giggled.

■■■■

December 2012

"Why do you do this every time? You said it would be different. And you're still so fucking childish!" I snapped at Nick who stood like he couldn't care less when I liked to believe he did.

"I'm childish because I don't want to go to Florida for Christmas?" He scoffed packing his bag as we were leaving the arena soon.

"I don't understand what's so difficult? You're my boyfriend for crying out loud and you're on the road yet the moment you're off I hardly even see you. You'd think you'd want to be with me"

"Well maybe I don't feel like being your boyfriend anymore. You're constantly on my case about shit you see other people doing so you have to be doing it too. We don't have to rush anything. So what if I need a break every now and then?" He sighed running his hands through his hair.

"Its been almost five years, Nick." I simply said trying to figure out how I had gotten myself into this annoying situation with him when he kept fucking up or maybe I was just too picky.

"I know because you remind me every day. Look, you mean a lot to me and I get that you're lonely with Brie touring in your off time but come on Nicole, I'm on the road all the time why would I want to go spend time with the Samoans?" He moved over to his phone going off.

"But you're fine going to a bar with your friends? You know what Nick, why don't you take some more time to yourself or just go join the blonde whose calling you!"

"So are you going to give Nick another chance?" Brie questioned beside me as we sat in the locker room.

"Might as well" I sighed.

Nick had been one of the reasons I so easily accepted deciding to look for something else in life before. He had cheated on me and I called it quits, if he was able to do it while we were on the road imagine if we weren't even in the same company. But of course in my time off he had come crawling back close to the time I rejoined the company and here we were once again.

"Are you fucking serious, Nicole?" I jumped slightly, hearing Joe's voice behind me.

"I thought you were out doing a segment?" I sighed wishing he hadn't heard it simply because I had to deal with him questioning me when I had showed up alone to Christmas dinner last week. I could have made an excuse and said I was spending it with my mom but she hadn't minded when he mentioned me being with them this year.

My mom of course loved Joe, she loved all the members of the Shield. Having recently gotten involved with one of my bosses, Johnny, she was on the road frequently and they'd make her feel welcome. Mostly because with them coming up they were sort of on their own so when we'd keep them company it would be refreshing for them because they were isolated.

"No." He simply said which was never good especially with that tone.

"I'll go find Colby and Jon" Brie sighed, "please talk some sense into her."

"Wow thanks" I grumbled as he closed the door behind her and moved towards me while I remained silent waiting for him to make some valid point.

"He fucking cheated on you, two weeks ago you were in our hallway fucking crying your eyes out before a match and now you 'might as well' take him back" He scoffed pacing the room.

"Why does it matter? I see how you roll your eyes whenever I talk about him. I know you know I'll go back to him." I shrugged not needing another one of his speeches.

I love Joe, he had been an amazing shoulder for me to lean on as well as Galina. Even his mom at times, its why I hardly visited once Brie and I wrestled in the independent circuit. I felt like a fool for being with Nick.

"And so does he, that's why he keeps doing the same shit. Over and over again! Its been five fucking years, Nicole. You left and came back and got into it again, he didn't fucking bat an eyelash when you were fired." He snapped as he glared at me, I knew it was because he cared but I could make my own decisions.

"How would you know? You only got here two months ago. You don't understand, Joe. The road is shit and it gets lonely." I defended standing up from the couch and moving to the bathroom but he followed as I washed off my make-up; being done for the night.

"Okay you weren't here so he fucked around, so what was his excuse when you were here?" He questioned as he leaned against the doorway while I pat my face.

I stared blankly at him, knowing I should never have told Joe when I picked up the phone to a feminine voice. I had feared it, all the times he had bailed on me but it still came as a shock and made me doubt every friendship ever made. Most of my friends on the roster were his so that's when I leaned even more on Joe. They were friends as well but ever since we started out Joe had been closer to me, that was clear, "It doesn't matter, Joe."

"It does matter." He breathe seeming confused at my simple dismissal when he knew how much Nick meant to me. How if we ended I wouldn't get a second glance from anyone around here.

"Why the fuck do you care so much? You don't know how it is." I groaned throwing the towel down before leaving, wishing for once he wouldn't and would just let me continue to make reckless decisions.

"I don't know how it is? Every fucking time you come to my home I'm dealing with a mess because of his ass. Every fucking time I have to walk in on Galina hugging you because this time Brie said she's done. Whether its a mistake of kissing another woman or just neglecting you completely he..."

"Okay then I won't come knocking on your door then. I figured I found somewhere I could turn to but.." He gripped my hand and pulled me in front of him which led to me sighing.

"You did, Nicole. But I can't stand it anymore, I fucking care about you and know that you don't deserve this. " He spoke softly and sincerely reminding me how I often wished Nick could be like the man who had become like my best friend. Yes Brie was that but the same way she shared some bond with his buddy Jon, the same way Joe and I had developed a connection.

"Then what do I deserve, Joe? Because for the last five years I have been lied to and I don't know what I am owed in life. I'm not some good woman, Joe so how can I expect to have someone that good? I'm loud and I'm crazy and..."

"And you're losing all that you are while being with him while he is smiling every fucking day. You're running after his ass when he should be here on his knees begging you. You're an amazing woman, and you deserve a guy who won't go fucking around and leave you crying every day." I glanced away hating how he meant every word and hating how I believed him because it only made me sadder realizing what a fool I had been, how low I had sunk to hold onto someone.

"What guy would want me honestly? I'm too busy and everyone around here has seen me humiliated by him." I sat down on my couch and he glanced around before joining me.

I rested my head on his shoulder closing my eyes letting my stubbornness go because in the end he always saw things the best way. But I loathed change..

"I don't know but you're done with him. I went to fetch your things at his place before the show anyway so it would be pretty awkward if you ended up heading back to him" He mumbled into my hair.

"You did not?" I groaned but giggled slightly picturing the look on his face when Joe pitched up.

" You can check the back of our rental. You're done with him and I don't care if you're mad at me, Nicole. You're not going back to him" He said firmly which led to me rolling my eyes and lying back on the couch instead and he raised his eyebrow slightly.

"So you think I'm just going to listen to you, two months on the road and you're levelheaded. When you're more muscle than brains out there?"

"Hey its not my fault Colby and Jon aren't built like me but I graduated quite good unlike someone." He winked.

"Fuck you" I giggled but then snuggled closer to him which led to him breathing in deeply.

"No, but you're right though. I'm only starting to feel what the road is like but five years of knowing you and knowing that you deserve better let's me know its time to move on, so until you find a guy deserving. I'll be your husband."

"Husband?"

"Work husband like in Grey's Anatomy" he rolled his eyes, claiming to hate that I got him hooked onto it.

"I'm telling Galina." I playfully poked him.

"She's got the ring" he chuckled referring to their engagement. I remembered feeling so happy for them, they were so perfect and I wished Nick and I could have what they did. Have the stability that they did but he was too immature for the big step I guess..

"Fine. I'm done with him."

■■■■

January 2013

"So then we go from the back and then.. Man are you even listening to me?" I heard Jon and rolled my eyes but was cut off before I could answer.

"He probably was at the beginning but you know you're like this old record that keeps.."

"Shut up Colbs." I sighed. "I was listening I'm just more thinking about the flight home tomorrow morning to see my beautiful fiance and Jojo"

"And Jojo?" Jon scoffed, "it should be my adorable Jojo. I'm telling her she's not being descriptive!"

"You mean he's not"

"He's not what?"

"Being descriptive"

"Look I might not have finished high school but I know what descriptive means"

"I don't doubt that I'm just saying that he's the one not being descriptive because Jojo wasn't.."

"Okay okay can we go kick some top guys' asses already?" I groaned and they both chuckled and knew they did it just to get me hyped up. "You guy's are a bunch of asses"

"Unfortunately you're the biggest ass" I heard Nicole as I turned around and immediately caught her with a huff as she launched herself into my arms.

"Hey I didn't know you'd be here tonight" I chuckled as she had been off for a couple weeks and the last I had seen her was Christmas at my place.

"Well I'm still off but I have some news and figured it would be best to share it in person"

I frowned and eyed her up and down noticing the excitement on her face.

"Don't give me that look, Joe!" She giggled.

"Well sorry to disappoint Bella boobs but we have some business to conduct" Jon pat my chest pulling me back reminding me we had a main event to destroy.

"What? I just got here and you guys are ditching me." She whined pulling me back.

"Justice is not convenient to anyone, baby girl" I winked earning a glare from her and extended my arm pulling her into a brief hug.

"We can get some dinner after this, is Brie here too?" Jon suggested as we slowly did a walk towards the staircase.

"Of course your sweet offer has ulterior motives and no she isn't. But I'll be sure to mention Jon says hi. I'll be waiting in the hallway" She gave a slight wave before turning on her heel.

"Hey Nikki?" Jon called after her.

"What?"

"How'd you find our secret hideout?"

"Well Joe always said look for a deserted hallway." I ignored the glare from him knowing he took our hide out very seriously but knew he wouldn't mind if Brie made her way around here but she was sort of a touchy subject that he didn't even know was one. They had a bond and currently she was dating some rockstar, which is why he was happier that we were on the main roster so he could see her more, only they weren't booked as much.

"Did you see his fucking face? Mr Hustle love and rap!" Jon chuckled jumping on my back before ruffling Colby's two toned locks.

"Honestly do you hear yourself?" Colby chuckled while I simply shook my head choosing not to fight the losing battle of correcting him.

"Do you hear myself?"

"What did you just do?" I heard Nicole and frowned hearing her accusing tone when we hadn't been anywhere besides the ring.

"We kicked some whiny little Mr perfect's.. Er hey!" Jon stopped as the other one soon appeared behind her and kissed her cheek before giving us a nod.

"Looks like he found a Mrs Perfect" Colby mumbled, "we'll catch you later"

"Nah, I'll join you guys" I made to move after them but she pulled me back as they made sure they disappeared knowing the dynamics of our friendship by now.

"What the hell, Joe?" She snapped.

I turned to her and slowly tied up my hair, "You know I'm not in the mood Nicole. We had this talk"

"Can you stop doing that and just listen to me." She searched my eyes and I stopped myself from clenching my jaw so simply nodded instead.

"Fine"

"Look I know we said me dating guys around here is a bad idea but its John Cena and.."

I rolled my eyes knowing after she texted me last week it wouldn't be something simple. I just expected it to be...

"And what? I'm not surprised, I told you when you told me he was talking to you that there was something. And now you're together, you're making it sound like you're looking for my approval when you don't need it." I shrugged and glanced down the hallway before taking off my bands.

"You're sounding petty and jealous right now." She groaned as she folded her arms and narrowed her eyes at me.

"Because he runs this place? Nicole, you know I could care less about the fame. I'm just about my family and excuse me for not being keen on a guy who questioned us coming up to the roster."

"He just said you guys weren't ready."

"Then I guess I should be happy Punk was more vocal for us" It was something we shouldn't have known, we were warned that John Cena was a top guy who at this point held some input because of his success. But of course Punk felt it was the right time for us and he won the battle and now we were dominating and there was nothing anyone could do to stop us...

She sighed and moved closer to me, placing her hand on mine knowing she wouldn't push further in defense of him, "No one knows we're together. Not even Brie, we aren't really together. We went on a date, he told me what he wanted and he made it clear so I'm still deciding."

"So you do want my approval?" I frowned listening as she spoke in riddles.

"No... Well yes.."

"Okay I'm listening?"

"At least try to sound excited for me"

"Okaaaay I'm listening" I smiled brightly and she giggled before hopping up beside me.

"Well he basically told me in our relationship that we'd just be with each other, having nothing else"

"What do you mean?"

"He said he sees no marriage or kids in his future."

I chuckled not sure what she was trying to get at "You're kidding?"

"I'm actually not." She mumbled avoiding my eyes.

"Who says that on a first date?"

"Joe we're adults, we were speaking about our hopes and dreams for the future and that came up."

"So he is telling you if you choose to date him you have nothing to look forward to."

"That sounds a bit wrong, I mean he is an amazing guy. He is nothing like Nick."

"You didn't think Nick would be like Nick"

"Yeah you couldn't give me a heads up on that one, Samoan?"

"I told you. I just watch if a guy gets lucky or not and he got lucky. I didn't realize how much you would end up meaning to me, if so I would've given him the warning sooner"

"What warning?"

"The 'you break my girl's heart and I'll kill you' warning"

"Is that followed by a little tongue out and a smashing of heads"

"Hey hey hey I did that dance once with The Usos" I warned having been forced into it by her and Galina.

"It was adorable. "

"You and Brie didn't do too bad either."

"I guess not, Joe I just.. You do know me now, five years and you know everything I want and he clearly stated that's not what he wants but maybe. I mean.. Its John Cena and I just know he wouldn't hurt me so should I head into this because he'll always be enough or should I hope I'll be worth it to give those things to for him"

"You're asking me but you're hoping you are and I believe that you are and if he doesn't realize that you are then he shouldn't be put on such a high pedestal" I shook my head finding it odd for someone to dismiss something so strongly. But either way I would have her back whether it was listening to her go on about him or if he ended up fucking up...

"I also don't want to change anyone though"

"You like him and I see why, okay I actually don't but I also do. He's a good guy I guess."

"He has an amazing smile."

"And I don't?" I teased.

"Joe, you don't count. You're perfect in a Joe way and he's perfect in a John way."

"But if you had to choose."

"Where's the less conceited Joe? I'm kidding, I'd choose you. Only because you act like you're hot because you want to ooze confidence but you don't think you are. There's no way John Cena could compete with Joe Anoa'i, in looks or in my heart. You've become very important to me in the last five years and I value your opinion and I just hope I have your support even if I'm running into another battle." She slowly bit her lip as she moved back and forth in front of me waiting.

"You'll always have me, no matter what and hopefully he'll take us whooping his ass earlier as a warning. You mess with Nikki, you're bombed. Come on, he can wait another night for your answer. We're heading out for dinner!"

☆☆☆☆

THANKS SO MUCH FOR OVER 10K READS!!

A bunch of throwbacks to make up for my lack of updates :/ I'm so sorry, its really been awhile and I hope to change it soon. I know where I want this story to go just having trouble getting into the zone to write the chapters. Hopefully you enjoyed this though and I hope inspo will hit me soon :)

Congrats to Joe on his win over John! It was an amazing match, John had me a bit sad but Joe deserved the win.