"It hurts when you have
someone in your heart but
you can't have them
in your arms."
●Via schnapsliebe●

■■■

ROYAL RUMBLE 2016

"Are you sure you don't have your eye on anyone? I could definitely hook you up" Sasha nudged me as I had gone to the gorilla along with my cousins to welcome her back a half hour ago. Mostly as moral support for Jimmy so he didn't seem 'eager' heading to see her alone.

"Don't even try it Merc.. That man is a monk!" Jimmy chuckled as he took a seat opposite her with his dinner and I narrowed my eyes at him. So I hadn't been with anyone since I left Galina? I didn't see the problem with that.

"Ya'll joking..." She began but then saw my face and I simply shrugged. "How haven't you gotten some action?"

"You're sounding interested there, Sash.." Jimmy narrowed his eyes playfully but I knew that jealous side was coming out that Samoan's had worse than any ordinary man, in my opinion. Well I had never really been a jealous man, perhaps because I wasn't at home much so I didn't really do much shopping or usual things like that with Galina so if it happened where guy's eyes had been roaming I wouldn't know. And when we had our nights out it would be with family, so there was never any incidents.

"Nah, while Samoan's are attractive, you're too quiet for me." She winked at him but then apologetically pat my shoulder.

I didn't mind though, I was known as the brooding muscular guy ever since my Shield days and I sort of liked it once we got introduced to the rest of the locker room as we became more of a face faction than destroyers. It helped me observe the guys with no obligation of having to be the life of the room because my cousins and Jon did that.

"Except when it comes to the ones who has that Samoan heart. He'll do anything to make them smile" Renee giggled hugging me from behind before setting herself beside Sasha.

"Seriously, you need to get laid uce."

"Why? Let him keep it in his pants! He is champion and a badass one at that, being sexually frustrated is the only way he can deal with all the negativity surrounding him." She did a gesture with her hands.

"I guess I should be thanking you for defending me." I mused as I suppose she had a point, I had more of a one tracked mind now. Half of me was angry, the other just trying to remind what all of this was before I became attached to someone at work. And that is for my Jojo...

"Its my pleasure. Bryan says good luck by the way, do you know if you'll be winning or not?"

I smiled as I knew they were talking more but clearly there was more to it and she seemed like the blonde I had met when I first came up.

"I actually don't know, highly unlikely though but we'll see. I'm invincible as of late" I muttered and shook my head before excusing myself and moving to my locker room only as I entered, seeing a hyped lunatic despite his match. I knew I should have stayed in a general area after I had done my best to avoid him.
 
"So let me get this straight. You took a week off from work, flew out to Tampa and did not go to sit by Nikki's side and be the supportive best friend aka 'secretly in love with her' support system that she needed?"

I rolled my eyes as I closed the door knowing there was no escape so simply remained silent as he rambled on for about ten minutes.

"I have more important things to be concerned about." I simply said as I released my hair and ran water over it knowing the main event would be underway soon.

"Wow.." I heard Brie and closed my eyes because I did not need her input right now when I knew Jon would be letting it go before, now he wouldn't because he had to have her back and be thanked for it later and I prayed the walls in our suite were fucking thick this time.

"Don't 'wow' me, Brie. You saw the same thing I did, you basically posted it." I sighed as her and Nicole had a shared Twitter account.

I wished she had posted it on fucking Instagram so I wouldn't have seen it but then what would the point have been. I would have walked into her room with a box of fucking donuts and a huge smile to seeing Colby holding her hand, taking the place I wanted. The place I thought I had even after the distant few months, I guess I just assumed even with us holding slight grudges that it was us and that we weren't really mad and once we saw eachother again. It would just be a screaming match before we sunk into our routine but it seemed that wasn't the case her side.

"So she was holding hands with Colby. She loves you, gosh you guys are the most frustrating people." She groaned before sipping on her iced tea.

I chuckled, "Really? You two are frustrated with us?"

She giggled and walked over to me as I stood up straight sipping the rest of my water, "Roman, please don't give up on my sister. She needs you, we all know that."

"Needed me..." I corrected her as that picture was a clear indication that someone else was providing the support in my absence. I knew I was partially at fault by the distance but I hadn't found anyone or looked for anyone to take her place. And she knew my mixed emotions when it came to Colby, especially after what he did to Renee as well.

"Oh my word, can you stop acting like you belong in a seat next to your daughter at school? I thought you were by her side through anything, if you wanted her so much you should have made a move long before she even went off the road. You know how she gets and you're so busy, she craves being wanted. If it wasn't Colby it would have been John but I suppose luck is on your side since he is with AJ."

"Since when?" I frowned not really being interested in what he did as our paths hadn't crossed too much after things ended between him and Nicole.

"I don't know, I have never been close with him even when he was with my sister. I heard from Big E the other day, I guess Stephanie wasn't too far off about their relationship in that storyline."

"Hinting to something there, babe?" Jon playfully smirked.

"I'm kidding, he wouldn't cheat on Nicole. But clearly they shared some chemistry and now they're together. So not only did my sister dump John for you, he ended up winning." She said slightly annoyed.

"Winning what? And she didn't fucking dump him for me. We both know that wasn't the case." I shook my head knowing she was just tired of living a life where she constantly had to defend a man for his selfish reasons.

I saw the slight anger filling her as she folding her arms and leaned against Jon who chose to remain reasonably silent as she went off despite his energetic rant before, "What other reason would she have and don't throw in the things he denied her. She would have worked around it like she had all the years before, it was you Joe. You don't want to hear it because it would anger you to know that maybe she loves you more than she should and you were too blind to realize it and now she has moved on. Galina's moved on, and you're still here..."

"I know Nicole, Brie. I would have known if there was anything more from her side. Any indication to that has only ever been told to me by you and I don't need to hear your theories." I sighed because I didn't need that hope and what was the point in that hope if she now had fucking Colby. It didn't benefit me now..

"Then fly out to her after tonight, show up on her doorstep and tell her how you fucking feel. Ignore her relationship with Colby, she took a chance when she dumped John because he made her choose and what on earth have you ever done to give her any hope of the same?"

"Babe, he has a big match up and..."

"Don't cut me off! She dumped John and chose to be by your side when the crowd turned on you. She let you know all about it, and she felt so guilty because you were on the road to marriage only to find out that ended the year before. But she couldn't be happy because if it had anything to do with her you would tell her. But you kept it to yourself."

I focused on putting on my glove instead of the angry twin whose temper had increased when I wasn't sure what she expected me to do. I wasn't like her boyfriend, I had things to consider and yes my thinking led to me doing things or not doing things that would have made my life better. But I was cautious...

"She knows why I did it, I don't need to explain myself to you Brie." I briefly glanced at her before placing my title on my shoulder for possibly the last time.

"You don't. But you can stick your pride away and be there for her when she needs you regardless of her having a boyfriend in Colby. If you claim to care so much about my sister shouldn't you want to be at her side at all costs?" She pleaded and I tried to hold my tongue because its how Brie tended to be. Fighting for Nicole's belief's when she wasn't sure what they were, so that's why I couldn't believe her words when I knew there had been many times she had gone to John to state things that were often not how Nicole viewed things. And her claiming Nicole loved me was probably one of them.

"Your sister hurt me and I didn't think she ever could so yeah I'll be stubborn. Like I said I don't need to explain myself to you, Brie. I have much more important things to focus on." I shook my head as I grabbed a towel and vacated the room.

"So what, you're just going to become a workaholic and forget that you're a man who needs someone by his side? Its One vs All on top, Roman, it doesn't need to be the same back here."

"I don't need anyone by my side, I've been here in the beginning to provide for my daughter and that's the only one who I need right now. So I'm Never Alone..."

✘✘✘

"You're thinking of calling him aren't you?" He questioned, not because my hand was reaching for my phone necessarily but I suppose my face reflected how bad for him I felt as he sat watching as Hunter celebrated.

"Well yeah, he just lost his title" I mumbled with a small shrug not feeling like the effort to actually turn my entire body to look at him.

It was about a week after my surgery and Royal Rumble had just ended. My mom was upstairs most probably having watched it as well but wasn't sure how to approach things knowing I was hurt he hadn't shown for my surgery.

"And you just had neck surgery. Besides, you saw Mercy returned tonight, not a coincidence if you ask me. He has probably been helping her out while he wasn't there when you needed him the most. I'm not trying to bad talk him because I know it won't change anything but sometimes he only thinks about himself." He sighed as he stood up and switched off the TV before taking a seat on one of the other couches so I could see him.

"I'm partially happy though, I mean ever since he came up to the main roster he hasn't gotten a break you know? Even before, he was working to provide for his family and also to make the rest of his family proud. If I'm being honest then I'll admit I was like his work fiance and it might be a far stretch but it was that way. He'd take care of me because while John never was selfish besides denying me two things, I don't know. Certain things I'd feel more comfortable speaking to Joe about" I shrugged realizing just how much Joe had weighing over him and while I knew it and he often spoke about it, it was a lot.

He had his family legacy to maintain and worked from the bottom to do so. Yet people were so fucking hard on him, expecting so much from him simply because he was given certain opportunities. I saw his hurt, even though I wasn't backstage all these months I saw it and I saw it now as he lost the title. And it hurt me so much seeing it...

"Complaining about those two things?" He chuckled and I shook my head with a small smile.

"No just fears, mostly. I'd look at John and he is just so confident you know? Hardly ever vulnerable or maybe I just wasn't the one to bring it out in him I suppose. I guess we failed eachother in that aspect, he would try and put on a brave face to lead by example but he never quite grasped the fact that I didn't mind him needing my shoulder. I guess he was this dream of a man and even sharing a couple years with him I still felt like I was from the outside looking in, in some way"

I loved John, but as the years went by and all my time spent with Joe. When given the ultimatum I realized just how much I had invested in both and Joe's outweighed.

"Not everyone is as in touch with their emotions as Joe. He is way too sensitive" He groaned and I knew it was annoyance to the fact that Joe was the last one out of our group of friends that had yet to let it go. Deep down I was sure Jon was still hesitant with him but because he wanted to impress Brie he accepted his apology. In the end you'd still see his loyalty was first to Brie and then to Joe and it would extend to me simply because I was as I had said 'his work fiance/wife'.

"He isn't though, he's like John but I know how to handle him. He likes that everyone who doesn't really know him sees him as this brooding guy. Or the quiet guy which he is so he can fade into the background and it won't seem strange. But he never could do that with me and I'm sure it annoyed him at first until we just grew on each other and realized how alike we were, you know" I smiled as my outspokenness had led to us embarking in friendship with these guys and I was sure that led to us being more close than we had been if I had just stood in the corner admiring their beauty.

"Of course you're like Joe's fucking kryptonite and that's why he got rid of you." He blurted out causing my eye's to widen slightly, "I'm sorry I didn't mean..."

"No..uhm you're right I suppose. I find it funny that you're bringing it up though since you were the one to let me know that I shouldn't be so hard on him about it." I smirked as he had been the reason I had forgiven Joe after finding out he spoke to Vince.

"Well you have quite the temper and in the end he was doing you a favour. He cares about you" He sighed trying to hide the sincerity as he yet again defended his 'brother'.

"Clearly not the way I thought." I added for him.

"You were his work fiance though" He smiled.

"Yeah I was. I mean he'd be on the road seeing to my needs and then when he went home, doing the same with Galina. So now I see him with this title reign he had and I almost don't mind that he doesn't call because in a sense he is free. He has Jojo to visit, and that's all he has besides the road. He is allowed to think about himself.." I was mad at him, but more mad that he moved on than the actual distance. Because before I found out about her, I knew I was the only one who had a connection with him and now I wasn't there to see them but I had heard from Colby...

"You're forgetting Sasha..." He added as if reading my mind.

"Well I doubt she is as needy as me. She's young and she seems level headed. I'm over 30 and still a mess that he needs to deal with so he wanted something different in his love life." I stood up and moved into the kitchen in need of some comfort food but knew he would deprive me of it for our 'grand return'.

"What happens when you return?"

I giggled at him some what reading my thoughts, "Who says I am?"

"You hear about John and AJ?" He questioned instead when I actually had considering he had sent me a text wishing me well with the surgery.

"Yeah Paige found out from Big E and in turn told me." I vaguely replied as I recalled Paige saying how they had somehow caught up through mutual friends. And kept in touch and fell, apparently they were quite happy. I guess that should have made me feel better about not being what he needed.

"They met up and sparks erupted." I stared over at him.

"I guess sparks are flying everywhere for new romances. Guess we're just hopeless in love when the people we want have sparks igniting in our absence."

Absolutely fucking hopeless.

♥♥♥♥

THANKS TO @LegitAsylum for giving the "Roman finds out about them " idea. Hopefully you enjoyed!
Thanks @kenreid for yours as well, will definitely use it in the next one: )

HOPEFULLY EVERYONE ENJOYED THIS FLASHBACK 😘😘😘