"Love makes you feel
out of control.
I think that's how
you know its right."

●●●

"Joe..." I moaned as he trailed kisses up my body, gently biting it in certain places before he found his hands around my breasts squeezing them tightly as his mouth wrapped around them.

He would be flying out soon and I hated it because I would be leaving for my mom's with Vince setting me up with a trainer in Arizona where Johnny would be able to supervise.

He had been tense ever since he got home, I saw a distant look in his eyes and feared something might have changed but when he pulled into a deep kiss and expressed his love I knew it was something else.

I can see you hurtin'
I've been through the same thing
Baby don't you worry
I got you
I just wanna know you
Tell me all your secrets
Lookin' like you need it

I hated how they had treated him on Monday, seeing how Stephanie humiliated him and the crowd seemed to soak it up.

Especially Sunday as well, when I saw him go through the table with Jojo beside me I had to act like he had told me before and he was okay when I wasn't sure if he was. Yes he got up but that had nothing to do with his emotions and he hadn't taken my calls that night either.

While Joe and I knew each other like the inside of a fucking encyclopaedia, with me most of the time I would end up venting all my frustrations while he listened patiently before telling me his thoughts when mostly his words weren't what calmed me but his arms around me. Joe hardly ever vented, he'd get that distant look in his eye, the look filled with something that was lost. It was there at the end of matches when he lost and stared into the distance searching for answers in himself as he felt like the weight was on his shoulders and it was there for the last few days while he had tried his best to distract me.

We had spoken on Monday night before his matches and I knew it was due to him needing some reassurance as it would be his first official night back. He had been dealing with so much tension backstage as he was named again for the title when he knew that he wouldn't be winning and we saw it as Finn Balor claimed victory.

A small part of me had still hoped he would despite it but I guess taking him out of that scene would take him out of the spotlight for a bit which was good.

I believed he needed a break, apart of me knew he only accepted all the responsibility because he needed a distraction because I was away and now I selfishly wished his schedule would be easier. But this was Vince and Vince wanted great things for him so I doubted it would be for long and he would be forced to go along with it. Whether he would have been fine being just another guy on the roster or not...

Cause I got you, you, oh, you
I got you, I got you
Cause I got you, you, oh, you
I got you, I got you

He groaned as he slowly eased into me, briefly flipping his hair back before kissing me. The need filling it as it had our very first time breaking the boundaries between friends and lovers.

His movements were rough, quick, hard, deep as my hands gripped the sheets beneath me before being pulled into his large hands as he pinned them above my head, pushing his tongue past my lips.

He had a way of making me forget about all my fears when the world knew me as fearless. My biggest fear was losing a man who meant the world to me before I called him mine, he was mine now. In this moment as he continued to claim me but because of my decisions there was no public declaration of it.

We can get high, oh nah, nah, nah
We can get low, oh nah, nah, nah
Let me be your friend, baby let me in
Tell you no lies, oh, nah, nah, nah
We can get lost oh, nah, nah, nah
Take it all off, oh, nah, nah, nah
Let me be your friend, baby let me in
Give it to me all, oh, nah, nah, nah

"I love you so fucking much, Nicole" he breath into my lips before piercing my neck with his teeth. His hands left mine as they travelled down my body and clutched my thighs, wrapping them around him as mine found their way to his back.

I heard myself moan louder and felt him briefly smile into my neck.

He had gone from being hesitant our first time to knowing just how well he pleased me whether it was slow, passionate ways of expressing his love or rough, needy, bring me to the edge fucking. Joe brought me to the heaven each time and he knew it, he knew me, I knew him.

We loved each other and that was felt with every moment spent together as it always was.

He rolled onto his back before sitting up and gripping my hair allowing me to look into his eyes. "You love me?"

"More than anything" I smiled causing him to as well before tipping me back over and pulling the sheets over us as we continued getting lost in lust and love...

Cause I got you, you, oh, you
I got you, I got you

♛♛♛

I stared at her as she slept, knowing all hell would be breaking loose once she woke up. Why? Because I had yet to tell her about what went down with Colby on Sunday.

I hadn't known what to do or say to him, when I was so angry at him for ruining everything for me all he saw was me abandoning him. I wasn't sure how it happened or maybe I had made myself believe he was heartless as it seemed so easy for him to simply stroll in and claim what was mine and rub it in my face while I was forced to endure it in the presence of our friends. But I knew him, deep down I knew him and if I pushed away my anger and hurt it was always there; his hurt and regret at destroying our brotherhood and knowing deep down we could never go back to what we were.

And to say I could just push it all back was easier said than done and with the long night on Raw. My mind as well as my body had been put through a lot so when I heard I had a few days home I didn't hesitate in getting on that chopper and flying home to my girls.

I smiled as she slowly opened her brown eyes that had kept me grounded since I got home, the eyes that reminded me of why I had been mad at Colby but also reminded me of why he was so mad at me. I wasn't sure how I would go about telling her everything when I could hardly recall it all as it had been a blur of rage and so many emotions. I had hoped Brie would somehow tell her but with them going radio silent on me I knew they wouldn't tell her. I hadn't even had time to see if they thought his words were true due to me being called by Vince after he had stormed out. When I had gotten back I was met with an empty locker room...

I kissed her forehead causing her to close her eyes and savour it before heading down for dinner knowing she would be following soon.

I checked my phone but besides work emails there was nothing
and while I expected my return back to work wouldn't get much of a warm welcome I didn't expect all my friends to just shut me out. I wasn't sure what went on backstage while I was gone or if they believed Colby's words were true.

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't but as far as I was concerned the only hurt Nicole ever truly caused me was when I believed they were dating and that was his plan. He disrespected Nicole when she wasn't there to defend herself and I didn't like that and I guess my reaction proved his point to an extent but I was in love with her and he only saw her as the key to hurting me.

For stupid revenge...

I knew Colby sometimes could be more unstable than even Dean. I was his big brotha and the same way he and Jon had guided me with wrestling as they were more experienced, the same way I always had their back. But all that changed in one night, one night that still hurt and he couldn't tell me how to feel about it because he couldn't change anything.

I sighed as I wasn't sure how things had gotten so far, I guess the scripts and surprises we were given didn't help the wounds heal any quicker...

"I have missed your cooking, Joe." I heard her faint voice and slowly turned with a smile hoping she wouldn't sense something while watching as I set the table.

I soon felt her arms around me from behind and her fingertips tracing over my chest as she wore one of my t-shirts. She sighed as I pulled her to my front and kissed the tip of her nose.

"Yeah I caught the hint last night while you were slaving yourself away for Jojo and I." I smirked with Jojo having left this morning.

And while I always loved my time with my daughter, with the two of them together there was hardly any quiet time as my daughter was quite the talker and Nicole could entertain her and always found activities for them to do. It was clear I hadn't been missed much in my few days away which of course made me happy.

I wouldn't stop admiring my daughter's love for her and her attachment. Yes it had been hard before with the distance between Nicole and I but I wasn't planning on losing Nicole...

"Yeah because she normally helps me in the kitchen but last night she was glued to that couch with you" She giggled before taking her seat and digging in.

"I feel like being at home just gives everyone a reason to avoid me." She mumbled between bites.

"What do you mean?"

"Well Brie hasn't really been speaking to me and well Colby..."

I sighed knowing she always hated when Brie avoided her and that was usually when she did something wrong and I guess leading everyone to believe she was involved with Colby was that.

I had been so caught up in wanting them to know she wasn't his that I forgot about all their months of pretending. All the months of Brie and Jon dealing with my moods and love sick gazes at her, "well Brie and Jon are pretty much on a different island with the draft. I wouldn't read too much into it, they're in that asylum you know?"

She slowly nodded as I squeezed her hand I held which caused her to move from her seat onto my lap. "I guess I shouldn't. I mean I haven't really looked at my phone since you got home and.. What?"

"So this is home?" I smirked.

"I mean..."

"No don't change your words, I just like the sound. Its been your home too since I first moved in, you made it feel like one. All I had was the furniture, furniture which you had described as horrible picks by my cousins" I playfully narrowed my eyes knowing how annoyed they had gotten with her when she made us drive down to the stores and had it redecorated. All before a PPV might I add...

"Well I managed to work around it, don't like the sound too much. Next time you're here you might see all the boxes piling up with my things." She squeezed my cheeks and I scrunched up my nose before playfully biting her cheek, allowing her laughter to fill my ears.

"Mmm I'll see them cause I helped you pack 'em.." I winked which caused her to bite her lip as I saw her thoughts running wild before she focused on me.

"Are you serious about this? Me moving in." I shifted her so that she straddled my lap and gently stroked her bare thighs.

"Yeah, whether you're getting your health in check or back on the road, having a common place will make everything easier. I mean I know how much your apartment means to you in San Diego but..."

She squealed giving me a quick kiss, "As long as you help me pack I'll be officially calling this home even though..."

"I know" I chuckled stopping her from telling me something she had while we went over her move-in contract with John.

I had understood his reasons behind it which was the reason why I had sat with her as she went through it and had my lawyer take a look at it, in the end I knew she always said she wouldn't move in with a guy unless she was engaged.

That she promised herself after Nick, but she loved John so even though we laughed about it I knew she would bend some of her rules for him.

Who knew that would be one of the things that wore her down most in that relationship...

"Mr and Mrs Monkey" she mused shaking her head with a smile as excitement filled her eyes despite being at my house for over a month.

I knew my interaction with Colby would not be mentioned just yet, because she was on cloud nine thinking of our future and knowing she could simply speak freely without being afraid of me shutting her down as I knew all she wanted and she knew I would give her everything her heart desired because those were my needs as well.

"Mr and Mrs Monkey" I repeated hoping she would keep that in mind when she realized I had betrayed her trust by telling all our friends the truth about her and Colby.

▤▤▤▤

Firstly are there any flashbacks you guys would like to see in the upcoming chapters? I'm hitting a bit of a blank with those so let me know.😊😊

Goodluck to Roman tonight! I have missed him terribly while being happy WWE gave him sometime off. Seeing pictures of him with his family sharing beers and all that made me so happy as they honoured Rosey's life ♥♥

I hope he is victorious tonight and that maybe we can see him facing off against different people. Just cant wait to see him and hopefully the crowd ain't too harsh😘😘😘