"If you love someone, you tell them.
Even if you're scared that its not the right thing.
Even if you're scared it'll cause problems.
Even if you're scared that it will
burn your life to the ground.
You say it. You say it loud."
◁Mark Sloan, Grey's Anatomy▷

●●●

"I don't appreciate being a booty call" I heard Nicole's voice as soon as I walked in making me smile despite her remark because just hearing her voice filling my house up reminded me Winston and I weren't on our own, filled my heart with happiness.

"I got breakfast" I raised up the donut box since we had been restricting ourselves due to us training together, me to show them I hadn't been lying on the couch for a month and her to be ready whenever they decided to make the call.

"Oh " She giggled and kissed my cheek before we headed out to the pool where Winston seemed content getting lost in his own world with his ball.

"Will you be seeing Jojo before you leave?" She mumbled as she slowly devoured the sugary goodness. She knew Jojo was on vacation with Galina and her family but luckily they would be getting in the weekend.

"Yeah I have been planning a day for us, if you'll still be around" I slowly replied not wanting to start off our day on a downer but I wasn't sure when she would leave.

The last time I simply sensed it, the flight from Vegas on my own was hard enough until I woke up with her snuggled up to me reminding me that she still had the key to my house.

"I'm here aren't I?" She smiled briefly kicking my knee causing me to narrow my eyes but then lean back.

"And if Colby gets time off?" I lazily looked at her, feeling Winston hop onto my lap, making himself comfortable, before sitting down and staring at her expectantly as well.

"That's one or two days. He doesn't come home much even if he has time off, I told you what this was Joe. He won't be calling on me, especially with the draft coming up, he doesn't know where he'll end up and there is a high possibility Renee will be on Team Blue with Bryan there and we all know he is The Authority's favourite. He is getting as much time with her in before everything changes. He wants Renee so why would he come home to see me?" She breath and I wanted to question what would happen if we happened to be separated once she returned.

While Seth and Renee being on different brands would be good for my side because then there would be no need for Nicole being with him, I hoped. But us being separated I didn't like the sound of since we had been separated for most of the year but shook the thoughts away.

"Its weird to me though"

"What?" She stared over at me as I shrugged.

"The picture of him holding your hand and..."

"I was asleep when he took that Joe, its silly to me but I find it cute. I know you don't see it but how is it any different than the way I got jealous seeing you with Sasha. Maybe Renee still wants him, I know he isn't your favourite person but he is capable of love and just think about how we felt for these last months not talking to each other and thinking one was taken. It hurt a lot so that's why I put myself in his shoes and if him believing this could get Renee back makes him happier then so be it. I know she is with Bryan but I can't point that out, he just sees her. You should have seen him, he was depressed and when he came up with this idea it urged him on to get back on TV to be closer to her..."

I sighed as I nodded understanding what she meant, "I admit despite him infuriating me so many times I still love him, he is and will always be my brother but he doesn't make it easy when he lies all the time. And I guess this is good because he has hope but its going to tear him apart once he realizes how happy she is with Bryan."

Seth and I were alike in many ways and while Seth hadn't been as loyal, as I was, to his women. His love for them never faltered but once he hurt Renee, she wasn't going to have none of it especially when she had stuck by him even when he blindsided all of us. He made a mistake when the power got too much for him and that one night led to the woman he loved walking out on him.

That had been the time I had chosen to forgive him for his betrayal and we stuck by him but in that led to Renee distancing herself from the group, confused about where loyalties lied and with that she found herself falling for Bryan after doing some behind the scenes work with him while he was off on the injured list last year.

"I know. I don't know sometimes I just see myself in him, his girlfriend before Renee cheated on him and ruined his views on women. So you could say Nick in my situation and then he found Renee and fell hard and made a mistake one night and..."

"Woah so I'm the mistake one night?" I cut her off which caused her to frown.

"What?"

"I was the reason you and John broke up, that is what you told me while you were screaming at me. So what does that mean?"

She sighed, "I meant I made the mistake the night you lost at TLC last year and I flew out. I knew it hurt you and I knew it ultimately was the beginning of us drifting but I didn't want to confront it. But now I'm here with you and we're together and I just want that for Colby too cause if not..."

"You feel guilty for being so happy this entire month with me?" I questioned and by the look on her face I knew I was right.

She slowly nodded, "Yeah"

"I understand that and.." Winston's barking cut me off and soon saw him running off and I frowned until I saw Dean make his way out.

"Oh no" he groaned as he saw Nicole.

"What's wr... " I heard Brie and she then saw us while I guess they felt like surprising me with a visit thinking I was on my own.

"What's going on here?" She narrowed her eyes at Nicole and then me.

"I'm hanging out with Joe..." Nicole shrugged picking Winston into her lap.

"You guys haven't been alone in months and you're here all of a sudden?" Brie folded her arms while Dean slowly and casually walked around the pool deciding not to get involved.

"Brie. " Nicole briefly glanced at her but Brie was read with the accusations.

"Does Colby know you're here. Judging by what happened to our bed, clearly you're not just hanging out."

I saw Nicole biting the inside of her cheek and sighed as she already felt guilty when she shouldn't have and Brie's words wouldn't help anything, "Brie let's go inside"

Maybe leaving Nicole alone with Jon wasn't the best idea considering he would probably be questioning her on things between us but the last thing I needed was an argument between the twins. Those never turned out good...

"You were the one who told me to go for what I wanted. And now I finally have her and you're making us feel guilty, you know Nicole and you saw her face when you brought up Colby..." I whispered glancing outside before moving further into the house with her.

"Because this is wrong. Yes I wanted you to go after what you want but that doesn't mean fucking her while her boyfriend is on the road. I was sure that's what you wouldn't assume I meant because its you Joe"

I rolled my eyes because I was sick and tired of them making me out to be perfect because I wasn't. I just wasn't rash like Jon or viscous like Seth in attempts to get what they want.

I always thought about Jojo, my family but I saw my life without Nicole made me unhappy and Jojo picked that up and the happiness that filled her eyes the day when I walked to my door to find her in Nicole's arms? Even then all I wanted was for her to stay, be with me and be mine.

And now we could live in a world where if we weren't in the busy lifestyle I would be getting home to find her with Winston, have a lazy day by the pool and just talk like we used to.

HOPEFULLY YOU LIKE 😍😍😍😍

But it seemed fate didn't want everything to be perfect even for a little bit.

"Well fuck it if its wrong I don't fucking care. If I want to fuck Nicole I will, if I want to make love to her I will. I am in love with her and you know how she feels about me now you're judging us..."

Brie frowned at my words briefly before moving closer to me, "You know how you felt watching Colby with Nicole when she wasn't even yours. What if he finds out? How do you think he will feel.."

I sighed wanting to say nothing more than angry at losing his object to invoke jealousy in Renee but it was not my place, "I don't care. For once I'm not going to be the noble Joe, I don't care about the repercussions. I saw what life without Nicole in my life was, I won the thing I was aiming for ever since she won that Diva's champion and when I won it, the only thing that brought me happiness was Jojo's smile when she hugged me telling me how happy she was that daddy finally won it. But I only wanted to win it for Nicole. My life doesn't make sense without Nicole, you saw me and you pointed out the rut I was in and now I'm fucking suspended, not even sure what I'm heading back to, my daughter is with her mom. All I have is Nicole, finally in the way I want her and I know its wrong because to the world they are together but for as long as I am here she is mine and this is my house and if you have a problem, due to your morals, with that then well you can leave Brie"

I wanted to apologize for going off on her but sometimes Brie would push your buttons and she knew it because she was the voice of reason in the group. But I didn't want to hear right or wrong I just wanted to live in the fantasy world for another week where Nicole was mine, all mine...

"Are you serious right now?"

"Yes I know I'm sounding cold but I would rather you leave than narrowing your eyes at Nicole or making snarky comments hinting towards Colby. Because things are always meant to be black and white with you and I respect that, Jon wanted you he got you and now you're living a happy life but everything doesn't work that way. So Nicole and I will deal with the mess later, we aren't kids we know what we're doing and the consequences.."

"I know you do Joe and I'm happy that you are finally happy. Its just I know the way you love her and she loves you and I'm just scared that that love is blurring lines for you. But if you guys are prepared for the backlash, I definitely won't be telling Colby because all I saw was two friends hanging out at a pool. I just... You know while you suffered in silence, Colby can be a bit extreme at times and if he finds out."

"He won't..."

"So you're telling me you won't attack him if he is too much with her while hanging out with us? "

"What's going on?" I heard Jon with Nicole following behind and glanced at Brie.

"We're leaving. Bye Nicole, Bye Joe" she hugged me, despite the slight annoyance evident I saw the amused expression on her face because that's what she wanted. Me to stand up for what I wanted but she still had to be the righteous Brie reminding us of the error in our ways.

"We chased them away" she mumbled as she leaned against the glass door.

"We're not doing anything wrong, Nicole" I slowly kissed her forehead hoping her pout would fade.

"Feels like it though" She whispered against my lips.

"I'm heading back real soon. Let's just enjoy the time we have together, okay babe?"

She nodded as I kissed at her pout pulling her arms around me.

"Come on! Let me show you how much I love you.." I whispered into her lips and she giggled as I tossed her over my shoulder and slapped her behind while she followed suit.

"You have the best butt in the business Joe!" I heard her voice and chuckled as I set her down on the bed.

"Best soon-to be girlfriend too.."

She smiled and I immediately kissed her before she could respond...

◇◇◇

"What's this?" She frowned as I set a box in front of her before lying down face first on the bed.

"A dress that I want to see you in" I simply said while she slowly opened it, removing the wrapping to reveal its contents.

She frowned and took off my t-shirt and I groaned internally as my eyes raked her body.

"Seriously Joe? How much did this cost?" She frowned, removing it from the box.

I sighed with a small smile taking it from her hands and placing it back, "Can I be honest with you Nicole?"

"Yes" She nodded as I moved to the edge of the bed with my shirt still unbuttoned which led to her hands moving beneath it, onto my shoulders.

"For Valentine's Day I had been planning on showing up on your doorstep since it was basically the first one alone for you. That dress was what I had picked out with Brie for you." I admitted seeing confusion fill her brown eyes before she slowly smiled.

"Where were you going to take me?" She ran her hands down my shirt before resting her forehead against mine.

"For a cliche picnic on the beach by your apartment, hence the reason I hadn't bought any shoes" I shrugged, that and Nicole was very picky when it came to accessories.

"Of course, and then what would have happened?"

I smiled as I traced my fingers back and forth over her bare thighs.

"I wouldn't have been hesitating or wasting time. I would have told you how I loved you before I even knew it. That I loved you last year, was in love with you even though you didn't see it. That I still feel guilty for taking you away from what you love and I wished I could take your place. That all I wanted for the last year was to be with you, be yours and you be mine.."

She placed a gentle kiss on my lips before slowly massaging my shoulders and speaking as well, "And then I'd tell you that the only reason I was mad was because you were taking me away from who I loved, that my fear of me being away and you finding someone else would come true. We both know that we were inseparable, especially last year when we had no one else, but each other. It gave no room for anyone else to step in because we were lost in each other "

I breath in deeply before continuing, wanting us to forget all about a visit from her sister throwing us off course, "And then I'd ask you how you didn't know I was in love with you when I know you'd feel me kiss your lips whenever you fell asleep in my arms."

"But you'd know the answer to it was that I didn't see myself as enough for an amazing man like you. Who had a sweet beautiful fiance in Galina and one who brought you a beautiful little girl and she doubted that she could measure up or that you had even moved on from loving Galina"

JOELINA THOUGH 😍😍😍 [ CONGRATS ON THEIR TWIN BOYS AND JOJO BEING BIG SIS😊]

She shrugged and focused on my eyes again as if searching for reassurance even after everything we had been through.

"And then I would tell you that even Galina saw something we were too blind to see. And that she's happily married and I was afraid of taking the next step in fear of losing what we had built together. The friendship, the bond..."

"And then what would happen?" She whispered and I immediately stood up and kissed her. Feeling her arms wrap around me as I pulled her closer.

I didn't tell her how I had buried it so deep in my closet once I saw the picture of Seth holding her hand.

How I had spent the day outside her door, knowing she wasn't there or how I simply sat on the beach thinking of what could have been had I acted faster.

If she hadn't been with him, but she wasn't with him. I could have had her for all this time...

I immediately laid her down and pinned her beneath me.

"I thought we had dinner"

"Fuck dinner." I breath and kissed her roughly feeling her smile into it as her legs wrapped around me.

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Thanks so much for over 4K READS and over 500 votes! Hopefully you are still enjoying:)

Good luck to our hubby Roman Reigns tomorrow, I don't mind win or lose but here's to an awesome dream match <3