"People will tell you they will never leave you.
That is bullshit.
The ones who tell you that
are the first to make you feel alone."

◈◈◈

“Roman its late I ..” She frowned as she closed the door behind her and followed me into the hallway of the hotel.

“You left before it all?” I frowned as she glanced over me and then glanced down to my shoulder where the gold was draped over.

“You won?” She smiled and her weary eyes were gone as excitement filled it.

I almost let my anger go right there and I felt her arms around me as she hugged me tightly.

I didn’t hug her back , not this time. I had felt hopeless sitting in the center of the ring before everything occurred. But the one thing that got me going was the idea of her showing up to calm me.

I hated it but she still had that effect..

“I came backstage, practically rushed backstage because I figured maybe you weren’t there to wish me good luck because your neck acted up. I sent Dean to look for you before I headed out to make sure you were okay..”

I shook my head as I glanced down, feeling her leave me and take a step back.

While she didn't notice much about me these days she could feel how tense I was when she hugged me.

“You know it was his first Wrestlemania out and he just couldn’t deal with it so...”

Of course he was the reason she left. I guess he had been the real reason she was there in the first place, to be by his side as he looked on.

I wanted to say something regarding it but said something else instead of it.

“Yeah he couldn’t deal with it. So I just had to look like a fucking idiot when I got to the back so fucking emotional holding Jojo, ready to hug you, holding this and where the hell were you?”

I shook my head as Dean shrugged then, saying he had seen her leave by his side as my music had filled the arena.

“I didn’t think it would be such an issue Joe. Your entire family was there I didn’t think it would make a difference..” She shrugged and I searched her eyes but there was more but not the more I was looking for.

“I guess that’s the problem here ain't it?”

I sighed as it was clear I didn't mean as much to her as I had hoped.

“What?” She frowned.

I shook my head as she should have known my whole family being there meant that one very important member was there as well. Waiting for her, only to be disappointed.

I sighed as I would have brought it up but there was no use in using my angel to bring her guilt.

“You were lying you know..” I whispered as I leaned against the wall, avoiding her eyes.

She didn't respond as the silence filled the hallway..

“I'm never alone?” I glanced over at her as she searched my eyes and shook her head slowly as she seemed to try and find the words.

“What, you’re mad at me because I got hurt? That’s a part of this business, I didn't want to leave and change our routine but I was forced to. What did you want me to do? You know I never wanted to leave, you were the one who made sure that I left weren't you?” She breath out seeming hurt by my mood.

She was right I had made her leave but it was only because I cared, she had always been stubborn. No one could get through to her, if it hadn't been me she would have hid her pain from everyone and maybe a part of her still resented me for playing a part in her departure.

But what could I do when I saw her eyes tear up each time after a match as she entered my locker room.

Just stand by and watch her fall?

So I made the decision, I used my close relationship with Vince as a way to discuss her. I had only wanted to protect my Fearless one from harm, I hadn't known it was so serious and that I would be punished in the worst possible way.

I was trying to save her but it came at a price, me losing her..

“That didn’t change us Nicole. You did” I glanced at her and she frowned, folding her arms almost glaring at me for putting the blame on her.

“Are you serious right now? I decided to leave my best friend behind, how? you are not making any..”

I hated the confused look on her face when she was meant to understand me with one look. She was meant to know exactly what I meant and the fact that she didn't was a twisted reminder that she was no longer a constant figure in my life.

“I'm not fucking talking about you leaving, I am talking about you being with him.”

I pointed in the direction of her hotel room as she was obviously sharing with him. Her eyes fell to the closed door behind her before settling on me.

I thought I saw a sign of guilt but then again it seemed she had become a stranger to me so maybe I didn't know my Fearless one like I had before.

“Just because you guys haven’t sorted out this shit 3 years later doesn’t mean you get to be mad at me for being with him, Joe. I thought you cared about my happiness and now you are letting this thing between you two make you hate what we are together..”

I chuckled a bit but with no sign of happiness contained within it. She had to have known how much that betrayal hurt to this day..

“So that’s what you are seeing here? I'm pissed because you went to him? Its not, its the fact that I heard nothing from my best fucking friend for months. Then finally he posts a fucking picture on twitter of him holding your hand, being a supportive fucking boyfriend! That's why I'm pissed because while I thought of you every fucking day I was simply forgotten..”

So maybe I had a few beers in me thanks to mine and Dean's celebrations but I wasn't going to spill my undying love for the Fearless Queen.

Because she hurt me. I was there in the best way I could be when she claimed her title and my third attempt and she hadn't been there to celebrate with me like we had always planned..

“I didn’t want to pull you down Roman. You were busy making it to the top like you always wanted and me nagging about an injury wouldn’t be fair of me. You know how things go here, once you're not on the road no one really cares until its time for your return, so I kept my distance and well he was there when I needed him. I needed someone..”

Her voice faded, I knew what she meant because I knew her. Because I was the same, we hated the feeling of being alone and in all the years of knowing Nicole, especially after my life with Galina ended. The days spent wishing I had Jojo with me, she was there through it all yet she didn't want to be a bother?

“Not me…” I stared into her eyes as they were glistening , my fearless one who only shed tears when we were seated in a hotel room, sitting in front of the bed where no one could see, was staring at me with her eyes filled with confusion as well.

“How could I? You have the gold and you have the girl Roman, why are you angry at me?” She croaked and I felt my anger slipping. I tried so hard to be cold towards her but I couldn't.

I fucking loved her..

“Girl?” I frowned realizing exactly what she had said.

“People talk Roman , I know you guys have been trying to keep things quiet but I am happy for you, you finally found someone after Galina, I thought that it would be..”

She shook her head before looking away, “I'm happy for you. I hope Jojo likes her. She really rocked out there tonight, can see why you like her. She’ll be champion soon and then you two can rule the WWE together.”

She smiled slightly, showing her happiness for something I wasn't sure about.

“He and I will help each other and we will come back stronger. I respect your relationship with her because you are my best friend and I, l.. Love you as always so I support your decisions, so please.. look I need to sleep”

I felt her arms around me but I couldn't return it as I tried thinking.

Before I could do anything she had disappeared into the room.

While I was so fucking confused but even through all that.

I remembered once wanting to rule with her.

Her wanting to rule with me...

But she believed I wanted it with someone else?