"Say what you need to say,
then say a little more.
Say too much. Show too much.
Love too much.
Everything is temporary but love,
Love outlives us all"

●●●

"I'm going to tickle you until you say you love me"

"No!" Jojo squealed simply to laugh more as Nicole gently tickled her sides while I set in a movie before heading to the kitchen to get the popcorn.

I moved next to Jojo and placed my arm over the couch and soon felt Nicole's head leaning back against it as she gave me a small smile.

I simply focused on the screen as Jojo settled between us, I wasn't sure why she came over to me. She was most likely staying with Seth at this point so she needed to be leaving soon. Yes Brie had mentioned her staying over at her mom's but she was here in Florida.

"Yes I called them. They can't be here but our boss has arranged for him to fly home as soon as he can"

"Okay, that's good" I heard a door closing and felt a tightening feeling on my hand. I glanced to my side and saw Nicole.

"How did you..." I barely got out, she smiled and poured me some water before helping me sit up.

"Never Alone, did you think I would let you leave the hotel without getting in with you? I'm annoyed because you didn't call me." She narrowed her eyes as I slowly sipped the water.

"You were sharing with John" I simply said not being able to really process my thoughts as I laid back.

"I don't get what your point is. You were alone and in pain. You broke the rules, Superman"

I chuckled, "I don't think the stipulations of our Never Alone pact are that serious"

"Yet donuts never stay away?" She smiled tracing her fingers over my forehead.

"Donuts is the pact bond" I shrugged, she giggled and rested her head on the bed.

"Well thy shall take care of the other if their significant other is not present and you're only flying home tomorrow, so you are stuck with me Joe" She leaned her forehead against mine before she placed a kiss on it.

"That sounds horrible" I groaned.

"So horrible"

"And then she's going to hug him, Coco!" Jojo spoke before yawning as she broke me from my thoughts, she had watched HOME many times before.

"Really? A big hug or a small hug?" Nicole asked curiously as she widened her brown eyes.

"Big hugs, like my daddy. People give big hugs when they love people and she loves him."

I briefly glanced at her.

"Does daddy give big hugs to you too?" She questioned Nicole while I turned my attention back to the screen where the credits were rolling.

"No, he doesn't anymore but its okay" She whispered while Jojo gasped.

"Daddy, if you don't give Coco big hugs she won't know you love her!" I felt her eyes on me and narrowed mine on her before smiling.

"She knows. Sometimes when you're grown up, you just know but with you my little Jojo those big hugs are good reminders" I winked.

"But grown ups need.."

"Okay come on, let's get you to bed" I narrowed my eyes playfully and she giggled.

"I'll er clean up here.." I heard Nicole as I lift Jojo into my arms.

"You don't need to do that. I'm sure you have to head home"

"Uhm I'm in no rush, Joe."

"Night Coco!" She leaned forward in my arms and wrapped her arms around Nicole which led to Nicole's face being inches from mine before I could protest further.

"Okay hun."

She gave a small wave to Nicole as we went up the staircase. I opened the door to her yellow bedroom and set her into her bed.

"Mmmm someone trying to do something?"

She giggled as I knew she was trying something with me and Coco.

"I miss Coco, Daddy. If she knows you love her, she will be with us more"

I sighed as my eyes glanced above her head and saw the Diva's Championship replica Nicole had gotten her.

"Coco has other people who love her too, okay? She doesn't mean not to be around more."

"I guess" she whispered. As she turned on her side to face me.

"She loves you too, Daddy. Like uncle Alex loves mommy."

I crouched down next to her bed and traced my fingers over her hair, "And how do you know that?"

"Because she told me"

I sighed and kissed her forehead, "Come on, mommy will be here early tomorrow."

"I love you, Daddy. I didn't hug you but now you know"

I smirked realizing what she meant, "I love you too, sweetie"

I tidied up in her room in the dim light, mostly prolonging that I would have to go down and face Nicole when all we were able to do whenever faced with one another lately was fight.

I soon heard the steady breathing as my little angel had drifted off while I zipped up her little bags and set them beside the door. She had so many clothes at my house but it appeared to have become too small and Galina knew me well enough to know I hadn't thought to buy new ones. But that's what Nicole would always do when she knew I was flying home knowing my little girl grew way too fast...

"Night, Jojo" I kissed her forehead once more before closing the door behind me.

I found Nicole seated on the couch again and I went to the kitchen instead but heard her soon after.

"I can't leave him, Joe" She whispered as she stood in the doorway and my hope of not fighting with her faded as she immediately went to the thing that hurt most.

"So why are you here?" I briefly glanced at her, maybe in time I would be able to hang out with Nicole like we used to. But not when she clearly knew I was still in love with her, if more months passed of me shutting them out I could deny that I still did. Her pitching up and forcing it was not helping anything...

"To tell you how I feel..." She moved closer and I simply leaned against the counter.

"Nicole, you staying with a man who has ruined my life countless times says a lot about how you feel. Things changed when you left, I get that.."

"Colby and I are not together but I can't leave him I..." Her words were rushed as she moved closer to me while I was trapped where I was as her words confused me.

"What?"

She sighed and stared down and I could tell she was anxious, "Renee broke his heart when he found out she was dating Bryan. Yes they have been broken up for a bit but he loves her. He wanted to get back at her and maybe make her realize or take note of him while he was out and had no way of seeing her. I told him I didn't want to do it because of you, I mean you were.. Are my best friend. But he said you had someone.."

"So you believed him when you knew how I felt, when you knew every detail about my life?" I wanted to pull her face so her eyes could focus on me but knew she wouldn't like it. I didn't understand what she was saying meant.

"I didn't know Joe. How could I when you never said anything?" She stared up at me and I shook my head.

"So I didn't show you with every hug, every moment spent together, being so close while we had no one else. I never showed you how much you meant to me? You know how I am and you believed I would just go for someone random when we had gone through so much together..."

"That was us since we made our pact, Joe. How was I meant to know that somehow things had changed and those gestures meant more?"

I sighed as she couldn't. How could she when I hadn't realized until a few months ago the extent of my feelings for her. When I believed the same as she did, that we were just being us.

"I don't know Nicole. I fucking don't. I just... "

"Sasha just came out of nowhere, you had never hung out with her before. With anyone other than Brie and I, more than a short hangout with the group or simple greeting and then Seth showed me some picture of you two in a game room. "

I sighed as I had been playing with my cousins when they filmed for UpUpdwndwn.

"You believed what you wanted to Nicole and I get it. What I don't get is why you show up here on my doorstep, spend the night with my daughter and tell me these things when its clear you have no intention of remaining with me, to show me how you really feel. Because I have been more than clear about my feelings.." I stared blankly at her needing more, so much more.

"Joe.."

"Why can't you be with me? You know I don't have anyone. You know that it was always you. Why? Is it because you don't want me but you still want the best friend? I can't do that right now Nicole. I told you I..."

"Colby's alone. You have Jon and your cousins. Yes they hang out but just like you haven't forgiven him for stealing the title that night, neither have they, because in the end they are all loyal to you. I'm all he has regardless of you and Sasha not being true, I can't let my friend down Joe" She almost pleaded and I heard the Nicole that had always been there for me, the Nicole who had been by my side when no one else seemed to understand. And I wasn't sure what hurt more, the fact that I had thought they were actually together or that they weren't but she seemed to be attached to him. Like she had always been to me...

"You let me down" I whispered and she glanced into my eyes and I saw the familiar conflicted look in hers as they glistened.

"You were never really a friend, Joe. Especially not after John. There didn't need to be someone pointing it out or you and I realizing anything because like you said. We were so close and all we had, you were mine and I was yours romantically or not that meant more than all my relationships..." She croaked and I sighed as I knew right then I couldn't hold anger towards her. She was right, everything just felt like it was meant to be as long as we were together.

I felt the harshness in my voice fade as I questioned her, "What did you expect coming here to tell me this Nicole, if you can't be with me? When its clear he is playing me again because he knows you want to be with me right?"

She glanced away.

"Right?"

"Yes Joe." She mumbled.

"So you remain with him when you know I am suffering without you." I knew she had a point because maybe they were all loyal to me.

But I was alone without her, I was simply fading into the background whenever I was with them because they knew. Whether they knew I loved her or wanted her more than a friend or not. They knew that there was no me without Nicole.

"Joe, his life doesn't revolve around betraying you. He hates the position he is put in"

"Yeah Nicole. He didn't pedigree me last month or bash my ass on Raw last night?" I didn't need her defending Colby to me because the more she did the more it hurt.

"I just want you to know that Colby and I are nothing more than friends." She let out a sigh and I stared into her eyes knowing she meant it.

"How is that supposed to mean something to me when we are nothing more as well? How is that supposed to let me know that you aren't fucking him, how the fuck is that supposed to reassure me?" The fact that Jojo was upstairs sleeping prevented me from raising my voice despite the anger filling me again because she wasn't giving me anything but frustrating me more.

She seemed to be upset by what I said, "because I never fucked you Joe, did I?"

I sighed, "I didn't mean anything by it Nicole. But you are putting up this front to people, sooner or later what if you fall. We were nothing more and we didn't pretend to be more either, he kisses you and.."

"He doesn't kiss me, he doesn't even peck my lips, Joe. You believe what you want to believe, just like me, but we are nothing. Colby and I are just friends, he is in love with Renee and I with you."

"He can't have Renee though, she moved on but I'm right here so what do you think? Is this going on forever while my mind is meant to be at ease by the fact that everyone else believes something that isn't true?"

"Its easier while I'm not on the roster, Joe. Because we aren't around people and.."

"Do you live with him?"

"What?"

"Do you share a home with.."

"No, Joe. I still have my apartment in San Diego."
I frowned as I thought she had come from Colby's house.

"Then why are you.."

"Are you seriously going to ask that question. You're so pissed at me when you know I'm here for you. You wanted me to be with you and Jojo and you got that. I flew out here so I could be with you."

"Here for me but you'll be waiting for him when he gets home later this week? "

"Why do you always have to fight everything? Why can't it just be simple. Me here for you and not look for something to bring against me." She whispered and I moved towards her.

"Because it isn't simple to me, Nicole. You have been putting up this lie for months now and I have been made a fool, I have been sitting and fucking dying inside at the idea of you actually be with him. Kissing him, in his bed and whether it was true or not. He sure made us believe it was and how do I know that these months with him haven't given the feeling that you believe you have for me?"

I shook my head as I closed my eyes and ran my hand over my face but she immediately took it in hers. Her fingers entangled in mine and I felt myself slipping and calming at her touch.

"Because he isn't you. John wasn't you, he isn't you. And you're all I ever wanted" she gazed up at me with a shrug.

I traced my finger over her cheek, she leaned into it and rested my forehead against hers.

"I am in love with you, Joe." She whispered as my lips grazed over hers.

As soon as the words were heard my lips were on hers. It wasn't rough or intense as it had been weeks before, it was a simple kiss because she knew how I felt I just needed to hear what she felt.

"I don't love you just as a friend, Joe. I have tried telling you, I am so fucking in love with you. I just..."

I immediately kissed her again, a bit more forcefully as it was what I needed. I needed her to state it clearly and not have my mind fill with doubt. I needed to know that I wasn't interpreting things to suit my own needs, that I hadn't imagined what I felt when I kissed her deeply for the first time.

The last time had been because of my own needs when tonight I could tell she just wanted me to believe her and understand that the love she had been declaring was the one I wanted and not what I thought was less than it.

All these years and a simple kiss wasn't so simple. It somehow made all the months without her, the confusion, the hurt seem like a distant memory. It was with Nicole and I didn't want it to end, I needed her so much.

I felt her push her body against mine and I turned and pushed her against the counter. Pinning her body against mine knowing nothing more would be happening but it was enough.

"Please stay Nicole.."