Chapter Thirty-Five

Our river guide was Sam. He was laughing as he stepped off the over-crowded bus full of tourists who were returning from their trip down the river. He wore faded swim shorts that looked to have got that way through wear and tear, not through some high-end fashion trend. His T-shirt was damp, and dark sunglasses covered his eyes. He looked older than the other tour guides, but just as at ease around them as they were around each other.

When he saw Dr. Crimm he came over to our group immediately. They hugged like friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time. "This is the new group?" he asked. He slid the sunglasses from his face up to the top of his head so we could see his eyes.

"This is them." Dr. Crimm turned to us and began introductions. "Marco, Ken, Damien, Shima, Aideen, and Koralee."

Sam shook each of our hands as he met us. He didn't look twice at Ken's wheelchair. I wasn't sure how it was going to work out that he'd be in a raft with a cast, but the doctor and Sam didn't seem concerned.

"Nice to meet everyone," Sam said. "I've been looking forward to taking you down the river. Let's go inside the shack and get everyone suited up." He led the way along the path to a wooden shack. Inside were racks and racks of life jackets, and a stockpile of river socks behind the counter that had to be checked out by a staff member.

Dr. Crimm helped us get fitted for the jackets and helmets. She knew which size to grab for herself and it was apparent she'd done this many times before. We put on our water socks and tucked our belongings into the lockers outside the gift shop.

Sam approached Ken. "Is your cast waterproof?" he asked.

"Yes. It takes a while to dry, though, so I don't think I'll purposely dunk it if that can be avoided." Ken looked down at his cast, tugging at the top of it where the padding had frayed.

"I won't tip you on purpose, but I can't promise we won't go in by accident," Sam teased. He reached behind Ken's chair and grabbed an oar. "Here, everyone is going to need one of these." He handed them one-by-one to Ken and had him pass them along until we were all equipped with our gear.

Shima was beginning to look healed on the outside. While there were still signs of her attempt at taking her life, they were healing much like I hoped her reasons for wanting to do it were fading, too. I put one arm around her and the other around Aideen.

"Are you girls ready?" I asked. "If anyone is going overboard, it isn't going to be us."

"Is that right?" Marco asked. He and Damien had been holding their oars like light sabers and battling it out as they waited for the bus to open its doors.

"That's right," Aideen answered. She wrapped her arm around my waist and rested her head on my shoulder. "Us girls are going to stick together. You boys are on your own."

"Fine," Ken said, "but don't cry to us when you need help getting back into the raft." He used his oar to swat at our feet and we laughed and untangled ourselves as we tried to dodge the paddle.

"Let's get on the bus." Sam motioned toward the open doors and we climbed inside. Ken left his wheelchair at the bench where the busses stopped and Damien and Marco helped support him as he climbed aboard without it. I watched the three of them from my seat in the back, in awe of how easily they'd learned to lean on each other.

The bus dropped us at a dirt ramp near a wide opening of the river. The other guides were going over safety procedures so we listened in and tried not to pay attention to Sam and Dr. Crimm catching up on each other's lives, off to the side of all the action. When it was time to climb in, everyone held the raft steady as Ken managed to get seated on the last row, close to Sam in case of an emergency. The rest of us hopped in one at a time, making sure to position our feet the way the guides had instructed.

As Sam pushed us off the shore, the first jitter of excitement hit my stomach and I felt a smile growing on my face. Even Damien, the most rigid of us all, was splashing the water and threatening to throw Aideen in if she took up any more of his side of the seat.

"If you fall in," Sam told us as he took his seat above us in the guide's chair, "don't try to stand up. Your feet can get stuck under the rocks and you can drown. Just let your life jacket float you. Keep your feet up. The water will make it easier to pull you back inside." He looked downriver and moved his oar like a rudder to keep us from crashing into a team on a raft that seemed to be having trouble getting everyone onboard. Sam laughed and shook his head. The young guide in charge shot him a look but was sure to smile quickly so his team wouldn't notice.

"New guy," Sam said. "The girls in the office always book the most difficult people with the new guy. It's a mild form of hazing, but you didn't hear that from me. It will teach him some humility. Kid is cocky as shit. Could use a little wind taken out of his sails." Sam moved the other oar, spinning the raft to avoid a large rock in our path.

"Did they do that to you?" Aideen asked. She screeched as we dropped off a tiny fall and the front of our raft dipped beneath the surface, splashing her with ice cold water.

Sam laughed and I wondered if he had purposely spun us to make that happen. He was in total control of the raft at every other moment so it only seemed reasonable that he had. "Haze me?" he clarified. "Yes. But that was a few years ago. I've done my time now. Left side two, please." Those of us on the left pushed our oars into the water twice.

"What did you do before this?" Marco asked.

"I was a parole officer in LA," Sam answered. His arms flexed as he moved the oars and spun us so we'd hit the next rock with the side of our raft, slipping off of it instead of hitting it straight on.

"How do you go from parole officer to river guide?" Shima asked.

"I hated my job. I woke up every day with stomachaches and went home each night with a pounding head. I wasn't happy," Sam explained as we moved down the river. "Three on the right." The riders on the right did as he requested and we floated to a calmer portion of the river. "I tried it for two years before I realized that working there was getting me back into that dark place I swore I'd do whatever I could to avoid. One day I decided I'd had enough."

The raft behind us spun around and a big splash of water drenched its passengers. Sam turned us so we could watch them. He chuckled. "Watch," he told us, "he's going to pretend it was an accident." Sure enough, the young guide who'd been struggling at the shore drifted past us with his raft full of wet passengers.

"That one was rough. You got lucky getting through it before it started really churning," he shouted to Sam.

"We barely made it," Sam played along. "Great job keeping your team afloat." The raft moved on and Sam laughed. "I wouldn't go back to my old job for all the money in the world." He looked at Shima as he said, "You have to stay where you're safest. If I went back to LA and the prisons where my clients did their time, I wouldn't be safe." There was no way he could know about Shima's suicide forest, but the message he'd delivered was on point nonetheless.

"Everyone now," he instructed, and we all put our oars into the water and helped push the raft forward toward the next set of rapids. It was such a thrill. I couldn't stop smiling. Aideen laughed out loud and Ken joined in. Dr. Crimm had her eyes closed and head tipped back. If she was anything like me, she wanted to take it all in. The smell of the river and the lush vegetation, the sound of joyous laughter and the feel of refreshing, cold water on our faces as it splashed up around the inflated edges of our raft.

Just as soon as it had started, the rapids waned again and our raft was spit out into a calm clearing. Sam pointed out a few plants, letting us know which were indigenous to the area and which had been brought in for one reason or another. We caught up to a raft that had pushed off before us. Its guide called out to Sam and he waved. It was clear from the color of his T-shirt that he was from a different tour company.

"Do you all know each other?" Damien asked.

"Mostly. We do this about three times each on a good day. We run into each other all the time." Sam answered him. "A few of us are friends outside of work. We get together and ride the bigger rapids. Around here the locals are really friendly. If you wear your guide vest, they'll pick you up at the bottom of the river and drop you at the top if you're on their way. Sometimes we do that on the weekends."

"What do your parents think of this job?" Ken asked.

"I talk to my mother all the time. She worries I won't have enough money for food." Sam laughed. "I get by. I've learned to save during the busy season so things aren't as tight during the off-season. I have to remind her that I might not have money, but I'm rich in life." Sam lifted his chin to warn us of something ahead. "Left side three forward, right side back three." The raft spun around and we entered the next set of rapids head-on.