"But I think I'm lost without you. I just feel crushed without you. I've been strong for so long, that I never thought how much I needed you... Hits me at full speed, feel like I can't breathe, and nobody knows this pain inside me. My world is crumbling. I should never have let you go."
~Freya Ridings, 'Lost Without You'

~~~

*Yoongi's POV*

"How long do you think this thing is going to be tonight? I have an early shift tomorrow," Kyong said from the passenger seat in my car.

"I told you that you didn't have to come," I grumbled. We were currently on our way to a dinner at Namjoon's house. Jin had some grand idea to get all of us together tonight so we could make amends before the wedding.

I felt nervous about tonight for multiple reasons. I was worried about Hoseok seeing Taehyung and Jungkook for the first time since the break up. From what Hoseok told me, it was pretty dramatic. Taehyung had told Hoseok they needed to talk, and Hoseok was surprised to see Jungkook there with him. Hoseok said he could tell something was off because Tae was pretty pale and kept fidgeting. Taehyung was struggling with looking Hoseok in the eye and speaking, which lead to Jungkook oh-so-sensitively blurting out that he and Taehyung were together. Obviously, Hoseok was extremely shocked and heartbroken. He told Taehyung that he should pack his stuff, because they were through. According to Hoseok, Taehyung actually looked sad that he was told to move out. As if he wasn't the one that cheated on Hobi. I guess Jungkook offered to let Taehyung stay with him, and then Jimin moved in with Hoseok.

And that brings me to the other reason I'm nervous about tonight. Jimin.

I was going to see him for the first time in five months. And that was scary for a whole list of reasons.

1. It would be our first time seeing each other since the break up. How would he feel? How would I feel?

2. How were we going to sit and talk casually, as if we hadn't tasted each other's sweat as we made love?

3. How was Jimin going to react to meeting Kyong?

4. How was I going to breathe having Jimin and Kyong in the same room?

I fully expected tonight to be a disaster. When I had mentioned this dinner to Kyong, I didn't expect him to invite himself. We had only been dating for a few weeks, and I wouldn't say we were exactly serious yet. I mean, I like him, but I wasn't in love or anything yet. We were still getting to know each other. I certainly wasn't ready for him to meet the rest of the gang. Hoseok and Namjoon knew I was seeing someone, but they hadn't met him yet.

And yet, here we are, on our way together to this dreaded dinner.

"Sug— I mean, Yoongi," Kyong corrected. I held back a sigh. When we first met, he was a tad starstruck to be meeting the Suga. I've told him countless times that he doesn't need to call me by my stage name, but it still slips out sometimes. "You seem a bit tense. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, Kyong. I don't mean to be so distracted," I apologized. Kyong gave me a small smile.

"He's going to be there tonight, right?" My spine stiffened a bit at his question. "Your ex? That's why you're so tense, isn't it?"

I didn't say anything, keeping my eyes on the road. When Kyong and I first started dating, I had told him that I wanted to take things slowly because I had just gone through a break up a few months prior. He doesn't know any major details, but he does know that it was Jimin I had dated, and that it didn't end well.

Taking my silence as confirmation, Kyong nodded his head. "If you hadn't told me that things ended badly, I would be tempted to ask if I had anything to worry about," Kyong lightly chuckled. I gave him a small nervous laugh, my knuckles tightening on the steering wheel. I would never want to cheat on Kyong. But to say he didn't have anything to worry about when it came to Jimin wouldn't be entirely truthful. He was still in my heart and my mind, and I had a feeling he always would be.

When we arrived at the house, I saw the other cars parked outside and my hands grew clammy. I had given Namjoon a heads up that we would be late. Kyong worked a long day at the hospital and didn't get off until an hour before the dinner was supposed to start.

Namjoon was the one to greet us at the door. He pulled me in for a hug, a whispered a quick "Breathe," in my ear. I guess he could sense how nervous I was.

As if our souls were magnetized, my gaze fell immediately on Jimin. He looked absolutely stunning. His hair was now a dark silver, and it reminded me of how incredibly sexy he looked when we filmed 'Blood, Sweat, and Tears'. His honey brown eyes lit up the moment he saw me. My heart was pounding in my chest as we approached the dining room.

Managing to tear my eyes away before the waterworks could start, I looked around at everyone else.

"Hello, everyone. Sorry I'm late," I apologized to the group. My eyes flickered back to Jimin, who hadn't stopped staring at me since I came in. I could still see the love he had for me shining in his eyes, and it pierced my heart.

Kyong cleared his throat next to me, snapping me out of my daze and reminding me that I had yet to introduce him. Guilt flooded over me. Even though I wasn't dating Jimin anymore, I still felt guilty about introducing my boyfriend, as if I were cheating on him. And then I also felt guilty about that, because I shouldn't be feeling guilty to a man who wasn't even my boyfriend anymore. Kyong was my boyfriend now. I looked to the rest of the group. If I was going to get through this, I couldn't look at Jimin.

"I would like you guys to meet Choi Kyong," I managed to say, gesturing to Kyong. "My boyfriend."

As expected, the guys looked pretty surprised. Jungkook casted a worried glance to Jimin, who's expression had gone completely blank.

"It's nice to meet you, Kyong," Jin chimed in. "I'm Seokjin. Thank you for coming." Kyong gave Jin a grateful smile and a small bow.

A ringing pulled everyone's attention to Jimin, who was still sitting there deadpan. He didn't even seem to know his phone was ringing. Hoseok gently nudged him, which effectively grounded Jimin. Pulling out his phone, he looked at the caller ID and stood from the table.

"I, um, uh," Jimin stammered. His face began to turn a deep red. "I have to take this." Without even putting his shoes on, Jimin darted out the front door. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hoseok with his phone in his lap. I managed to catch Jimin's name on his screen before he locked his phone.

My heart sank to my stomach. Hoseok called Jimin so he could get away from here. From me. I knew he could be shocked to find out I was dating someone, but I didn't know how much he would be affected by it. It had been five months; I figured he would've moved on in that time.

Namjoon stood and approached Kyong with his hand out. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Namjoon, Jin's fiancé." Kyong took his hand in a friendly shake. Hoseok was quick to follow Joon's attempt in filling the awkward silence.

"Hey, I've heard a lot about you," Hoseok said. I raised an eyebrow. While I did tell him about Kyong, I had barely talked about him. "I'm Hoseok."

"And those two over there," Jin pointed at Kook and Tae, "are Jungkook and Taehyung."

Kyong chuckled. "I know who you guys are. You're quite famous, you know." The guys laughed lightly at that. "You'll have to excuse me if I accidentally call you by your stage names. I still do it with Yoongi sometimes. Old habits die hard, you know?" Everyone nodded in understanding.

"So, Namjoon and Jin are together," Kyong clarified. "Is there anyone else here dating that I should know about?"

I grimaced, shooting Hoseok an apologetic look. I had forgotten to fill Kyong in on that whole mess.

"Taehyung and I are together," Jungkook said proudly, smiling at Tae. Taehyung uncomfortably squirmed in his seat.

"What about you, Hoseok?" Kyong asked obliviously. "Are you seeing anyone?"

Hoseok only politely smiled. "Not at the moment."

I was both surprised and impressed by his causal answer. Hoseok was one of the pettiest people I knew, and I thought for sure he would use the opportunity to expose Taehyung's cheating ways. Jungkook gave Hoseok a small smile, which he returned. My eyebrows slightly raised in shock. Maybe something happened between them before we got here.

For the next fifteen minutes, Kyong continued to ask my friends questions about themselves in between bites of food. They were all very polite, and answered all of his questions. As a doctor, Kyong was a naturally curious person and always asked a ton of questions.

The front door opened, and Jimin re-entered the house. He wore a smile that seemed just a little too stiff for me to believe was real. That's when I noticed his cheeks and his eyes were a faint pink. He had been crying.

"Sorry about that, everyone. It was a work call, and you all know how important those are," Jimin lied smoothly. Annoyance bit at me. How long was he going to keep lying about things? "Yoongi," Jimin finally addressed me. "I'm sorry for so rudely interrupting the introduction of your... friend here. Please, continue." He sat stiffly in his spot next to Hoseok.

"Ah- yes," I stammered. "This is Kyong. My boyfriend," I clarified, not overlooking the way Jimin referred to Kyong as my friend.

Jimin gave Kyong the same fake smile he wore when he came into the house. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Park Jimin."

Kyong shook his hand. "Park Jimin... I've heard a lot about you."

That seemed to throw Jimin for a moment. His face momentarily went blank before he plastered another smile on. When he asked to hear how Kyong and I met, Kyong was all too eager to tell that story.

I had met him a month and a half ago. While working on a song in my studio — a song that wasn't ever going to be released — I stupidly tripped over a cable and fell on my arm. Sejin made me go to the hospital to get checked out. Kyong was the doctor that examined my arm, but I didn't really take notice of him at first. I hadn't noticed anyone since Jimin and I broke up. When Kyong asked me to dinner out of the blue, I was stunned. That's when I hesitantly looked him up and down. He was attractive, there was no doubt about that. But the only man I had ever dated was Jimin, and I wasn't sure I was ready to date someone else, man or woman. I gently turned him down. Instead of seeming upset, Kyong just smiled at me. He then reminded me that I would need to come back for a check up in a week. Of course, when I came back a week later, Kyong asked me out for coffee. I was about to turn him down again, but he practically pleaded with me to give him a chance. He said this didn't have to be a date, but just a way for us to get to know each other. I reluctantly agreed, and we went out the next day to coffee. It was nice. He was very polite, and I felt relaxed around him. We ended up having our first official date that next week. I explained to him that I wanted to take things slowly due to the messy break up I went through a few months prior, and he was very understanding. When we went out again the week after that, and Kyong asked me to be his boyfriend.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I felt a hand covering my own. My face turned pink in embarrassment when I realized I had tuned out most of the conversation.

"Isn't that right, babe?" Kyong asked. I nearly choked at his choice of words. We hadn't used pet names before, and the fact that he chose now to start threw me for a loop. Kyong smiled at me before retracting his hand.

The guys took the chance to ask Kyong questions about himself, which he was very happy to answer.

"How long have you two been dating?" Jungkook asked.

"Only a few weeks," I answered casually with a shrug.

"Almost a month, though," Kyong winked at me. "And I'm looking forward to the many months to come."

An awkward silence followed after that, as I didn't know what to say, and Jimin looked like he was about to toss his fake little 'I'm so happy for you' routine out the window. Kyong filled the silence by telling stories about the craziest cases he had seen in the emergency department. Normally, I'm sure all the guys would be fascinated by those stories, but everyone seemed too tense to enjoy them.

"Well, it looks like everyone is done with their meals. Jimin, do you mind helping me clean up?" Jin said, cutting Kyong off from telling a fourth story. "Joonie, why don't you pick out a movie for everyone to watch?"

As Jimin helped Jin gather the dishes, the rest of us followed Namjoon to the living room. Joon let Tae pick out the movie, and Tae excitedly chose that animated Spider-Man movie that came out a few years ago. Joon brought out a bag of popcorn. It was the kind that was pre-popped, and didn't require a microwave. We split it up into a few bowls, and spread out among the couches. Kyong sat next to me and spread a blanket over our legs. The movie started, but I couldn't focus on it. My thoughts were preoccupied elsewhere.

Jimin clearly wasn't okay, so why was he acting like he was? Annoyance flared back up in my chest. I broke up with him because I didn't feel like I could trust him. It was disappointing to see that he still hadn't broken his habit of lying so easily to everyone.

"Yoongi?" Namjoon whispered from the chair next to me. "We're out of popcorn. Could you grab another bag from the kitchen?"

Taking my empty bowl with me, I stood from the couch and started to make my way towards the kitchen. Before I could make it to my destination, a figure sneaking to the door caught my attention. He was putting his shoes on, getting ready to leave.

"Jimin?" I said in confusion. His eyes met mine, and I sucked in a sharp breath. He looked so... broken. There was no trace of the smiley mask he had been wearing earlier. The Jimin I was looking at now was real, and it was utterly heart breaking. Jimin's eyes widened as he looked at me, and became watery. Without a word, he spun around and dashed out the door.

"Jimin, wait!" I ran to the front door, calling his name, but it was too late. He had already disappeared into the dark night.

I stood in the doorway for a few moments before heading back to the couch. My head was spinning and my chest was heavy when I sat down. That's why he was pretending to be happy. He didn't want me to know how badly he was hurting.

"Yoongi?" Namjoon asked with a raised brow. I stared at him blankly for a moment before face-palming.

"Popcorn. Right," I mumbled. I was so focused on Jimin that I had completely forgotten about the empty bowl in my hand.

"Don't worry about it, I'll get it." Namjoon took our empty bowls and left for the kitchen. I could feel Kyong's gaze on the side of my head, but I couldn't bring myself to return it. Guilt ate at me for thinking so much about Jimin while my boyfriend was in the same room.

After the movie had finished and everyone was getting ready to leave, I made sure to thank Joon and Jin for inviting us over.

"Thank you for having us," I gave Jin a hug. "I'm sorry if things were... awkward," I nervously chuckled.

Jin smiled at me. "There's no need to apologize. I'm the one who decided to have this dinner, so it should be me apologizing to you. If you felt like you weren't ready to see him, I'm sorry for forcing you."

"Don't be sorry, hyung," I shook my head. "This was inevitable. It's good we did it before the wedding."

Jin gave me a warm, thankful smile. He then said a polite goodbye to Kyong, who was starting to look pretty tired. We got in the car, and I headed for Kyong's home to drop him off.

When I pulled up to Kyong's place, he hesitated when reaching for the door handle.

"Yoongi?" He asked.

"Yes?"

"I know we haven't been dating very long, but I wanted to let you know that tonight meant a lot to me. Being able to meet all your friends. I feel like our relationship grew stronger tonight." Kyong flashed me a dazzling smile, and my chest tightened. He was so kind. And yet...

"Can I kiss you?" Kyong interrupted my thoughts. I stared at him, stunned. We hadn't taken that step yet. Before I could answer, Kyong leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine.

He moved slowly, as if he was afraid of moving too quickly and scaring me off. I willed myself to relax, and allowed my lips to gently move against his.

It was a brief, simple goodnight kiss. It didn't leave me breathless or dizzy, but it was nice. Comforting.

"Goodnight, Yoongi," Kyong murmured against my lips before pulling away and getting out of the car.

I made sure he was safely in his house before driving away. As soon as I got home, I flopped onto my bed. Confusing emotions swirled through me. My mind kept snapping from my kiss with Kyong, to the hurt on Jimin's face.

My thoughts fluttered back and forth until I finally began to drift to sleep. The final image that played in my mind was the passionate first kiss I had shared with Jimin.

~~~

This chapter was like 1000 words longer than the previous chapter lol

Do you guys want a happy Yoonmin ending, or a sad/angsty one? Lemme know

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-Gumbie