"Hate to say that I'm lonely. Hate to say that I miss you. Hate to say that it's dark in here. But it's true."
~Ben Platt, 'Bad Habit'

~~~

*Jimin's POV*

Dating.

What started out as a plan to quickly hump and dump Min Yoongi has turned into a slow game of dating. The Yoongi from four years ago would have been all for a quick fuck. He would have absolutely cringed at the idea of dating anyone, especially me. Who knew the Yoongi that had no problem with using people for sex would turn into someone who would enjoy something as mundane as dating?

And yet, here we were, on our way to a 'surprise' location for our first date.

Great.

Yoongi was being extremely tight lipped about this date. All I knew was that I had to dress for the outdoors. Luckily it was September, so the weather was nice. I chose to wear tennis shoes, black cargo shorts, and a thin light blue long-sleeved shirt. Judging by Yoongi's outfit, I think I chose wisely. He was wearing a pair of white basketball shorts, a black sweatshirt, and black tennis shoes.

I stared out the window as Yoongi drove us to our surprise location. We had been driving for a while and had entered the countryside, which furthered my confusion. Was he taking me to a remote location where he could kill me and hide my body? My eyes narrowed in suspicion as I watched him, trying to think of a plan of defense.

Yoongi saw my glare from the corner of his eye and broke out into a laugh, making me slightly jump. I wasn't used to him laughing when it was just us. "Don't worry, Jimin. I'm not taking you anywhere weird. Just a little place I came across while on a hike a few weeks ago. We're almost there, just sit tight." My jaw dropped. Min Yoongi went hiking? On purpose?

I sat back in my seat, crossing my arms. I still didn't fully trust wherever he was taking me. But, I was stuck with him for now, so I might as well greet my death with dignity.

We pulled up to a grassy area filled with hills, a dirt trail winding around. Yoongi signaled for me to get out of the car as he went to the truck and pulled out a duffle bag.

Gulp.

Yoongi noticed the nervous expression on my face and smirked. "Come on, Jiminie," he said, holding his hand out to me. To my dismay, my heart skipped a little at the nickname. "Just try to trust me a little, yeah?"

Hesitantly, I nodded and slid my hand into his. It was almost the same as I remembered. Calloused, firm, strong. But there was something about his hand that felt different. It was warm.

We walked along the dirt trail, silently appreciating the view of the grassy hills. There were beautiful yellow and purple flowers bursting from the ground, shrouding the entire plain in vibrant colors. It really was beautiful. A small twitched on my lips at the sight. Yoongi must've caught that because he smiled widely, tightening his grip on my hand. My stomach felt uneasy, but I needed to keep up the act. I forced a smile on my face to appease Yoongi.

Rounding over a hill, my body slightly stiffened. What the hell?

There was a large blanket laid out on the ground, a few throw pillows, and multicolored rose petals sprinkled around the blanket.

I gaped at the scene in front of me. Yoongi had set up... a picnic? It was surprisingly romantic. Way more romantic than I ever thought Min Yoongi to be capable of.

Yoongi set his bag on the ground, opening it and revealing it to be full of food. He scratched his ear nervously, much to my amusement. So he still has that little habit, huh?

"I would've packed the food in a basket like you see in the movies, but I didn't want to give away where I was taking you," he admitted sheepishly.

"When did you have time to set all this up?" I asked him. The tips of his ears flushed at my question.

"I uh.... I drove here this morning and set it up so it'd be ready for our date," he mumbled in embarrassment. "I would've let the food here, but you know, animals..." he trailed off. I nodded in understanding. Still holding my hand, Yoongi lead me over to the blanket and encouraged me to sit down.

The date wound up being... surprising. Yoongi was very polite, serving my food first and pouring my drink for me. He asked a lot of questions about my dad and my brother, which I found odd. He never really took an interest in my family before.

I found myself laughing as he told me various stories about our friends from the past few years. Hearing his stories made me realize how much I truly missed the group. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad for BTS to reunite. Maybe.

As our date progressed, a slight breeze picked up, making the air feel chilly. I shivered, and Yoongi immediately started taking off his sweatshirt, leaving him in a black t-shirt. I opened my mouth in protest, but Yoongi was already slipping the sweatshirt over my head.

"Arms up," he commanded gently. I lifted my arms and allowed him to pull the sweatshirt down over me. His sweatshirt swallowed up my small frame, making it obvious how much thinner I was than Yoongi.

"There," he nodded in satisfaction. "All better."

As Yoongi began to gather our finished picnic up, I dipped my nose down the fabric of the sweatshirt, breathing in Yoongi's scent.

The sweet scent caused a sharp stab of pain to my chest, and tears prickled in my eyes. He still smelled like the Yoongi I once loved. I closed my eyes, getting lost in his wonderful scent.

No. Stop it.

My eyes snapped open. I can't let myself fall for him again. If he hurt me once, he'll hurt me again. I can't go through that again. I just can't.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi's concerned voice cut into my train of thought.

"I'm great," I said through a forced smile. "Are we all set?" Yoongi nodded his head and held out his hand for me. I robotically took his hand in mine and we made our way back to his car.

The car ride home was uncomfortable. Or was it just weirdly comforting? I glanced at Yoongi and saw he was still smiling as he drove. Nope. Just weird.

When we pulled up to my apartment, Yoongi offered to walk me to my door, which I all too quickly declined. Yoongi's face dropped a little, and I knew I had to say something nice if I was going to make Yoongi think I enjoyed dating him.

"I had a really nice time today," I told him with the warmest smile I could muster. Yoongi's face immediately brightened.

"Really? So... does that mean I have a shot at a second date?" Yoongi asked excitedly. I held back a grimace.

"Absolutely. Just give me a call and let me know when you'd like to go out again," I told him, trying not to let my words sound strained.

I put my hand on the car door handle, ready to make my escape, when Yoongi abruptly pulled on my arm. I turned my head to ask Yoongi what he was doing, when he leaned forward and planted a tender kiss on my cheek.

The feeling of his lips on my face was not something I had ever experienced before. It was something I used to dream about, but now my head was spinning. I stared at him in a daze, and he gave me an affectionate smile.

"Have a good day, Jiminie," he said tenderly. I nodded, at a completely loss for words. I climbed out of his car and walked to the entrance of the apartment building. As Yoongi drove away, my head was spinning with confused feelings and emotions.

I need a drink.

***

The music was deafeningly loud, which was nice because it made it difficult for me to think about anything other than the beat. I had already done a couple shots, so I was feeling a lot more relaxed than I was earlier. I scanned the dance floor of the club, looking for anyone that seemed like he was lonely and up for a good time. I spotted a guy with black hair and tattoos on both arms practically eye-fucking me from across the room. I smirked at him, downing another shot before sauntering over to him.

"Hey gorgeous," the stranger purred. "Fancy a dance?"

I simply grabbed his arm instead of answering and lead him to the middle of the floor. I positioned myself in front of him and began to move my body expertly to the music. Knowing exactly what guys like him liked, I started sensually grinding my ass against his front. His hands roughly gripped my hips, forcing me to grind even harder against him. We continued to sway to the music for a few more minutes before he gruffly muttered in my ear, "Bathroom?" I wordlessly nodded, leading the way to the men's room.

I stumbled into an empty stall, and my mysterious stranger wasted no time in pressing me against the wall and attacking my neck with his tongue. His breath reeked of alcohol, but then again I'm pretty sure mine did too.

The man roughly ground against me, eliciting a moan from my lips. I ran my fingers through his dark hair, and I couldn't stop the flood of thoughts comparing his hair to Yoongi's. They had the same hair color, but this mystery man had his hair long on top and shaved on the sides. It wasn't as satisfying to run my hands through. And it wasn't as soft, or sweet smelling. Not like Yoongi's.

He flipped me around so my face was pressed against the cold wall. "You top or bottom?" He grunted in my ear.

"Bottom." The answer instinctively slipped from my lips. "No! Top," I quickly corrected.

"Are you sure?" He asked with a husky chuckle. "You seem too... delicate to top." He trailed a finger from my waist to my ear, and my stomach churned.

I turned around and shoved him away from me. "I'm a top," I insisted firmly. The man raised his hands defensively.

"Chill out, baby. If you wanna top, you can top."

Feeling overwhelmed, I snapped, "Forget it." I quickly walked out of the bathroom, desperately needing fresh air. Outside of the club, I pulled my phone out and tried to dial Jungkook's number. It proved to be a difficult task as I was pretty drunk and starting to feel sick, but I managed to successfully dial his number. I need to remember to put him on speed dial, I thought to myself.

"Jimin?" Jungkook's concerned tone came through the phone. "Where are you?"

"I'm at a club downtown," I mumbled into the phone. "Can you come get me?"

"Of course. But don't wait for me out on the street, it's not safe. Is there somewhere you can wait?"

My blurry eyes roamed the shops around me. "I think I see a noodle shop across the street."

"Perfect. Go there, order some food to help sober you up a little, and text me the name of the shop."

Agreeing to his plan, I hung up and stumbled across the street to the shop.

"Hello~~" I said way too loudly. "Are you guys open?"

A short, stern looking woman appeared from the kitchen. "Why are you shouting so late at night? Sit down," she commanded. Giving her an exaggerated bow, I plopped myself in a seat at the nearest table. I looked around and noticed there were no other customers.

"Ajumma, where are all your customers?" I asked loudly. She hit my arm with the dirty towel she was carrying.

"What did I say about shouting? My customers are all at home with their families. Like you should be," she scolded me.

"Awwww, Ajumma. Don't be like that. Can I please have some food? Kookie told me I needed to eat something while I wait for him to pick me up."

"This 'Kookie' sounds like a very smart person to know what a drunkard like you needs." The middle-aged woman sighed. "Fine, I'll make you some ramen. Wait here," she pointed a warning finger at me, daring me to try and follow her.

"Thank you, Ajumma!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms in the air.

"Tsk." The woman shook her head and headed back into the kitchen. Oh right, I need to text Kookie. I took a picture of the menu with the shop name and sent it to Kook so he would know where to pick me up. I rested my head on the table, the cool wood feeling nice against my flushed cheeks. I laid there for a few minutes, feeling myself growing sleepy.

"Don't fall asleep here!" The old woman scolded me, pushing my head to wake me up. I grumpily sat up, but my mood immediately brightened when she set the bowl of noodles in front of me.

"Thank you, Ajumma~" I said quietly, pressing my hands together like a prayer and giving her a small bow. She smacked the back of my head, making me yelp.

"Just eat your food," she sternly commanded, leaving for the kitchen again. I dove into eating the noodles, feeling like I was starving all of a sudden. I realized I hadn't eaten since my picnic with Yoongi earlier that day.

The stern-looking woman came back to my table, setting a glass of water in front of me. I flashed her a grateful smile, and began to chug the water. The lady sighed and shook her head, taking a seat at the table. She watched me quietly for a few minutes as I scarfed my food.

"Why did you drink so much tonight?" She pried. What a nosy Ajumma. But, she did feed me, so I guess I could be honest with her. Plus I was too drunk to care about opening up to a total stranger.

"There's a person that I used to love, but he broke my heart years ago. Now, he wants to date me, but I just want to hurt him the same way he hurt me. But he's different now. He's sweet, and attentive, and considerate. Nothing like he used to be when we were together. He actually planned a surprise picnic for us today, and it was really romantic. I'm just really confused," I drunkenly admitted. Shoving more noodles into my mouth, I continued to scarf my food as the Ajumma thought about everything I told her.

"And this boy, you love him?" She questioned.

"No!" I quickly said with a mouthful of noodles. "Just... confused."

The old lady sighed. "Young man, I have lived a long time, and I can tell you one thing for sure. Love is confusing. You need to take some time to consider how you feel about him. And you need to stop this silly game of trying to hurt him. You say he's a different person now. This different person didn't hurt you, so why should you hurt him?"

I kept my eyes on my bowl of noodles as I thought about the Ajumma's words. Was she right?

Before I could ask her anything else, the door swung open and Jungkook frantically walked in. "Jimin!" He shouted in relief, rushing over to me.

"Why are all of you boys so loud these days?" The woman scolded. Jungkook gave her an apologetic smile. "Are you 'Kookie'?"

Jungkook slowly nodded. "Thank you for watching my friend. What do I owe you for the food?" He asked, taking out his wallet.

The old lady waved her hand. "Don't worry about it. He can pay for himself next time."

Jungkook's brows furrowed. "How do you know he'll come back here?"

"Call it an old woman's instinct," the lady reassured with a smile. My jaw dropped. This Ajumma can smile?

She turned back to me, her smile being immediately replaced with a scowl. "You. Go home with your friend and stop causing trouble."

I nodded as Jungkook helped me stand from my chair, escorting me out the door. "Bye, Ajumma!" I shouted, dramatically waving my hand. I couldn't see her face, but I was willing to bet she was shaking her head at me.

When we arrived home, Jungkook lead me to my bedroom and helped me undress. He dug through my drawers, tossing my pajamas to me. Once I was dressed, I crawled into my bed and snuggled under the covers.

"Jimin... are you okay?" Jungkook gently asked.

I looked up at him and saw the concern on his face. "Don't worry about me, Kook. I'm great," I said, flashing him the biggest smile I could. Jungkook still looked unconvinced, and I sighed. "Look, Kook. I'm an adult. I appreciate your help tonight, but I can take care of myself."

Jungkook didn't say anything else. He just turned my light off and shut my door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I stared at my ceiling, replaying the events of today. My picnic with Yoongi, that incident with that guy at the club, my conversation with that Ajumma... everything was swirling around in my head.

Am I okay?

~~~

Phew, that chapter took a while to write. I wasn't planning on creating that Ajumma character, but she just kinda happened lol. Maybe she'll make a reappearance in a later chapter, who knows 🤷🏼‍♀️

Look at what the real Jimin said about Yoongi in these interviews 😭💕

I'm dead 🥺

Until next time, my loves!
-Gumbie