"Cause I have no right to love you when I chose to walk away. I have no right to miss you when I didn't wanna stay. And I have no right to need you, and I knew what my heart was gonna lose. I have no right to love you but I do, I still do."
~Rhys Lewis, 'No Right To Love You'

~~~

*Yoongi's POV*

Examining myself in my full length mirror, I ran a frustrated hand through my dark hair. What the fuck was I doing? Here I was, in my early thirties, and I was acting like a fifteen-year-old girl going on her first date. But I wasn't going on my first date. I was going to dinner with Park Jimin. Which was somehow a whole lot scarier.

Sighing, I settled on my dark grey slacks and a black button-up shirt, leaving the top two buttons open.

I still couldn't believe that Jimin wanted to have dinner with me tonight. When he called me and asked if I was free tonight, he sounded so light and casual, as if he really didn't care about what happened between us all those years ago. My chest tightened at the thought that Jimin had moved on from me. What if we was seeing someone new, and that's why he was in such a good mood? I shook the thought from my head. If he was seeing someone, that wasn't any of my business. I didn't have the right to be jealous since I'm the one who pushed him away.

I checked my watch and saw I was supposed to be meeting Jimin in twenty minutes. Namjoon had texted me several times today, checking if I was sure I wanted to meet Jimin tonight.

Whether or not he had moved on from what happened, I still hadn't. I needed to apologize to him. I needed to hear him say that he forgave me. If he didn't forgive me, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself and move on.

Stepping into the living room of my apartment, I grabbed my black leather shoes at sat on the couch to put them on. Ever since I returned home, I hadn't gone back to BTS' shared house. In fact, I think the only people who still used the house were Hoseok and Taehyung. Jungkook stayed there for a few weeks, but eventually moved out on his own. Namjoon and Jin also had a place of their own they've been living in for the past two years. While they hadn't gone public about their relationship, they were open with us about it. I was genuinely happy for them. Of course, I worried about what would happen if Mr. Bang found out, but seeing Namjoon and Jin together reassured me that they were strong enough in their love for each other to not be torn apart easily.

Shaking off my nerves, I exited my apartment and made my way to my car. The drive to the restaurant didn't take very long, which I resented. I felt like I needed more time to prepare for tonight. But, sometimes it's better to just rip off the band-aid, right?

I checked in with the hostess under the reservation Jimin had made for us. She smiled and lead me to an isolated table in the corner of the room. Even if BTS has been inactive, we were still easily recognizable. It was better if we sat in a spot that didn't attract a lot of attention. I was impressed with how professional our hostess was. She obviously recognized me by the smile she wore, but she didn't make a big deal out of it.

To my surprise, Jimin was already waiting for me at the table. I had tried to be early to beat him here, but it looked like he had he same idea. Sitting across from him, I took a nervous breath.

"It's nice to see you, Jimin," I said in a shaky voice. Pull yourself together, I tried to command myself.

Jimin smiled warmly at me. "You don't have to feel nervous, hyung. I just want to catch up, see how you've been." I nodded, picking up a menu and perusing the choices. My eyes made their way to the wine section, which I was sure I was going to need a lot of tonight.

Jimin followed suit, his gaze down as he read the menu. I took the chance to allow my eyes to rake over him, taking him in. He looked absolutely stunning. His blonde hair was neatly parted, showing off his angelic features. He was wearing a dark grey silk shirt, and black slacks. Even after all this time, he still never failed to take my breath away.

God, I love him.

Once we had placed our orders, Jimin turned his attention to me. "So, Yoongi," he began. "What have you been up to these past few years."

"Well," I took a breath, "after I finished up my service with the navy, Mr. Bang offered me a position as a producer at BigHit. I've been working with several different artists, helping them get their music out to the world." Jimin smiled at that. "I've also been working on my own stuff, but nothing too major," I said with a shrug. I squirmed slightly in my seat. "How have you been?"

Jimin let out an airy laugh. "I've actually been really good, hyung. Obviously, I only returned two weeks ago, so I haven't done much since coming home. I was staying with my dad, but Jungkook offered to let me move in with him, so I've spent the past few days packing up and moving my stuff to his apartment." I felt extremely grateful to Jungkook. While I used to feel jealous about how close they were, I was now grateful that Jimin had a good friend like Jungkook. He deserved all the happiness in the world, and I was glad that he was able to find that with Kook by his side.

"I'm sorry about your mother," I told him quietly. I noticed the way Jimin's grip tightened around his fork, his jaw slightly clenched. I knew I just struck a nerve by bringing her up. I was about to change the subject, but Jimin's demeanor suddenly changed. His grip loosened, and he offered me a relaxed smile.

"Thank you, hyung. I appreciate your concern," he smiled. I eyed him for a moment before giving him a nod. I've known Park Jimin long enough to know what his smile looks like. But the smiles he had been giving me tonight didn't fully reach his eyes. His light brown eyes didn't hold the same sparkle they used to. I wondered what was on his mind. Was he still harboring bitterness against me? Or what he depressed after losing his mom? Or was it something else entirely, like something that happened in the military, or a guy? I bit my questions back, knowing I didn't have the right to ask such questions. We weren't close like that anymore. And it was my fault.

Our food was brought out to us, and we ate in an awkward silence. My eyes kept flickering to Jimin, trying to read his expression. I used to be really good at reading him, but it's been four years. I realized I didn't really know him anymore.

"Jimin..." His eyes darted up to meet mine. "I'm really sorry about what happened between us four years ago." Jimin's eyes briefly widened in shock, but I continued on. "Back then, I was childish and scared, and I took it out on you. That was wrong of me. I shouldn't have hurt you the way that I did. Not a day goes by that I don't regret the way I left things between us."

Jimin kept his eyes down at his food, fidgeting with his fork. "Thank you, hyung," he said, finally raising his head. "It means a lot that you would say that." He paused for a moment before giving me a small smile. "I forgive you."

"R-really?" I sputtered. "Just like that?"

Jimin chuckled at my reaction. "It's been four years, hyung. I moved on a long time ago, and so should you. But I do appreciate the apology, even if it is slightly delayed," he lightly teased. I let out a sigh of relief, feeling like a huge weight was just lifted off my shoulders. He forgives me. He's okay. That means it's okay if I forgive myself, right?

Jimin flagged down our waitress for the check. He took out his card to pay, and I immediately protested. Jimin waved off my protest with his hand. "I invited you out tonight, so I think it's only fair if I pay," he explained with a smile. I relaxed a little, smiling back at him.

After paying for our dinner, Jimin asked, "Do you want to get out of here?" I slowly nodded, feeling a bit hesitant. We made our way out to the parking lot. "I took a cab here. Did you drive?" I nodded and lead him to my car, opening the passenger door for him. He smiled in thanks before climbing into my car. He gave me his address, and I drove him home in a comfortable silence.

When we pulled up to his apartment building, Jimin turned to me. "Do you wanna come up for a drink?" He offered. "Jungkook is out for the night."

I nodded, a small smile on my lips. He lead me into the building and up the stairs to their apartment. Walking through his front door, I took in the large unit. It was bigger than my apartment, but that was understandable since two people were living here.

Jimin closed the door behind us and walked into his kitchen, pouring two glasses of wine for us. He handed mine to me, and lead me over to the couch. We sat as we drank, and I began to feel a lot more relaxed. Jimin asked a lot of questions about the other members and anything else he missed in the past few years. I was so distracted in my ramblings that I didn't even notice Jimin scooting closer to me.

Without warning, Jimin pressed his warm lips against my neck. I gasped, almost spilling my wine in surprise.

"J-Jimin... what are you—"

"Just relax, hyung," Jimin interrupted with a purr. He took our wine glasses and set them on the low table in front of us. He latched his mouth back onto my throat, making my mind momentarily go blank. I haven't touched him in four years, and this small contact was enough to already make my member stir in my pants. He trailed his lips up to my jaw, his velvety tongue darted out and wetting my skin.

I let out a low groan at the feeling. "Jimin," I breathed out, placing my hands on his shoulders. "M-maybe we should take things a bit slower."

Jimin froze, pulling back. His expression was masked in confusion at my rejection. "You don't want to...?"

I quickly shook my head. "No, I do! Believe me, I really do. Just... not yet," I explained. Taking his hand in mine, I looked into his beautiful eyes. "I've spent the last few years dreaming about having you in my arms again. But we can't just rush into this. If we're going to try this again, I want us to do it right."

Jimin nodded slowly, processing my words. He still seemed a bit confused that I didn't want to immediately get in his pants.

"So," I began. "I would like to ask you on a proper date, Park Jimin."

Jimin's brows shot up in surprise. I couldn't blame him. I had never taken him on a date before, so this must've been quite the shock for him.

He nodded hesitantly at my request. "Okay, sure. Let's go on a date." A smile slowly spread across his face, and my chest warmed up in happiness.

I was going on a date with Park Jimin.

~~~

Shorter chapter. Sorry, but you know... not really. The length of the chapters might start to vary from here on out as the story picks up speed.

What do you think of Yoongi's character development? It seems like he's been making a lot of progress in letting go of his anger and fear. I'm proud of my baby 🥺💕

See you next time!
-Gumbie