Matthew had soon fallen asleep in my arms, his cheeks were flushed pink with tear stains, and his breathing was a bit uneven. When he breathed in and out it was shaky and that worried me a lot, we were both still in the empty room I shifted Matthew into my arms and stood as I carried him bridal style. His head rested against my shoulder and he stirred a bit. "Alfie..." he whimpered. "I'm here Mattie." I reassured in a quiet voice. "The hero is always here for you." I wanted to leave and go home with my Matthew, but I had to stay and wait for the meeting to finish.

With a groan of annoyance I exited the empty room, I struggled with opening the door but I somehow managed to open it. "I'm awake now Alfred, you can put me down." Matthew mumbled groggily. "If I put you down you'll end up falling." I chuckled. "where's kumachi?" he asked wearily and squirmed in my arms, whipping his head side to side with now alert eyes. "Calm down Mattie, I'm sure your little bear friend is hiding or something. Russia probably scared it." I explained. "It is a 'he' Alfred." He frowned. "Okay, he." I huffed and rolled my eyes.

Matthew still squirmed in my arms. "Alfred I'm heavy." He whined. "Dude I'm literally as strong as superman. Maybe even stronger." I stated in a matter-of-fact tone. "Right now it's like I'm carrying a baby, a small whiney one." I stuck my tongue out at him. "Don't be mean." He pouted and looked away, at least I got him to stop struggling though, I laughed and put him down carefully. He stood and slightly swayed back and forth. "How are you feeling Mattie? Is your breathing okay?" I asked as I steadied him. "I'm fine, it's just been a while. I was used to it before." He mumbled.

My blood went cold. "Used to it? What are you talking about?" I asked. "A-ah well, it wasn't exactly the first time something like that happened." He explained in a murmur, his voice wavered when he spoke, I instantly brought him into a tight hug. "How long did it go on for?" I asked warily. "Before you finally noticed me..it was always on the meetings." He said, soft spoken. "I'm sorry..I ruined you're presentation. I should've kept quiet I'm so sorry Alfred." I held him tight and gave him a reassuring squeeze to stop him from panicking again.

I ran my hand through his soft blonde hair and hummed a quiet tune, he instantly relaxed in my arms and buried his face in the crook of my neck, his soft breaths sent shivers down my spine. "Where's Kumacoco?" he asked for his bear once again, I looked around. "Uhm..let's check in the conference room. I'm sure they're about done." I pulled away from the embrace and held his hand in my own. "We'll find him don't worry okay?" I gave him a reassuring smile and dragged him along with me as I walked toward the conference room.

He walked stiffly beside me, I could tell that he was anxious to return, and to be honest I was pretty anxious too. Would Ivan do or say anything? Were the others aware of Matthew now? If so then that made me even more anxious, I pulled him close to me he stumbled and fell on my chest with a small yelp escaping his lips. He grasped onto my shirt and looked down with a dark blush painted on his face. "Alfie you tripped me." He whined. "Sorry Mattie." I chuckled and held him close to my chest. "I got a bit anxious.." I admitted.

I enjoyed sharing my feelings openly with Matthew, and in return he would do the same. I could always be myself with him, and I could always show him my vulnerability and weaknesses without being afraid. I knew his weaknesses and vulnerabilities as well, but he literally lived with them it was so noticeable. The way he trembled and jumped at any loud thing always told me that he was constantly living in fear.

The dark circles under his eyes that looked like bruises on his pale skin told me he wasn't getting enough sleep, or had possible insomnia at times, and that could also explain why he's been getting thinner. Suddenly realizing that I had been dozing off I quickly shook my head to clear my mind, I had almost ran into the conference door I could hear the others talking loudly on the other side. "Alfred I think it's best if I stay out here." Matthew shifted from foot to foot as he fidgited with his tie, I frowned and grabbed both of his hands to stop him from fidgeting. "No way that's happening." I stated.

He looked at me with wide eyes. "B-but I'll just be a nuisance." He said with a stutter. "Mattie did you forget what I told you in the car?" I asked with a sincere frown. "N-no of course not." He shook his head side to side. "Then please stay by my side, give me strength." My throat was tight as I looked deeply into his eyes searching for the source that made them shine beautifully. He swallowed thickly and slightly nodded not once tearing his gaze from my own, and even though he was still trembling I could see the strength in him. "Thank you Matthew." I smiled. "My source of strength." I quickly pecked his lips before turning my attention back to the closed door.

Matthew moved closer to me nearly pressing himself against my back, I grabbed his trembling hand and soothingly rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb, he sighed shakily as a response and calmed his tense stance. I entered the room, Ludwig was already ending the meeting until he looked at me. "You've missed your chance to join us America." He frowned. "Care to explain why you did such a thing to Russia?" Arthur butted in with a scowl.

I grimaced and forced on a smile. "Well you see.." I started. "The chair was a bit rickety and I didn't want my dude Russia to hurt himself you know?" I scratched the back of my neck as all eyes were on me, Ivan was sitting beside Yao with a horrific smile. "Really? The chair doesn't seem all that rickety, in fact it's perfectly sturdy." He stated. "Woah really!?" I faked a shocked expression earning a small giggle from Matthew. "Shoot! I'm so sorry Russia my pal, I just wanted the best for you." I turned dramatically with false tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

I clutched at my chest taking a fistful of my shirt and placed my other hand on my forehead. "Russia!" I faced him. "Will you forgive me for making such a foolish mistake?" By now everyone's mouths hung open with shock filling their features, well Italy was skipping around the room singing to himself, and Ivan was just smiling. "Okay." He stated and got up to gather his belongings to leave. "No hard feelings right? It's all just fun and games." I smiled widely.

Matthew tugged at my shirt. "Alfred what about Kuma-" Italy suddenly gasped and waved his hands around. "Wait! Wait I just remembered something!" he exclaimed and got everyone's attention. "Speaking of fun and games. Doitsu I've overheard some people in my country talking about some haunted mansion or something." My blood ran cold at his words. "I was wondering I-" I quickly cut him off. "You shouldn't go." I stated. "Aww why not?" Italy looked at me with a pout. "Well you see.." I trailed off feeling Matthew grasp onto the back of my shirt. "If you come in contact with a ghost it could haunt you and totally possess you dude." I smiled at myself.

His eyes lit up. "Oh! You're right! And I hate ghosts too, thank you America!" I waved him off with a laugh. "No problem dude." I turned my attention back to Matthew. "Oh right, your bear." I reminded. "Let's go ask Arthur or Francis. You know since they know you a bit better, but not as much as I do." I winked at him and took a hold of his hand. I pushed pass the others, I came to a stop when I walked pass Ivan. "Hm? Oh I haven't noticed you before." He referred to Matthew who flinched under his gaze, taking this as a threat I pulled Matthew close to me and pressed him close against my chest. "This is Canada, the country above me." I didn't dare tell him he was my lover, especially after what happened with Cuba.

I barely realized that maybe it would seem noticeable if I were holding him so close to me, and so I regretfully pushed Matthew away from me and instead rested my hand on his shoulder. "Isn't that right Canada my dude?" He jumped and quickly nodded. "Y-yeah." He stammered. Ivan gave us a confused look before shrugging and pulling on that smile of his. "Alright then, it was nice to meet you ah...uhm..." he suddenly frowned and Matthew slumped his shoulders. "Canada." I reminded him and pushed pass him keeping Matthew close to me.

Eventually we both made it in time before the pair could leave. "Mathieu mon infant." Francis cooed and took Matthew's hand in his own. "I'm so happy to see you again." Matthew's eyes lit up. "R-really? You can actually see me?" his question was filled with astonishment it made my heart falter a bit but I was still happy that Francis at least remembered him, but it was not always. There are only specific times on when he could actually see Matthew. "Is there something you wanted?" it was Arthur who had asked with a sneer.

I turned to him. "Yeah, do you remember Matthew's little bear?" I asked. "Oh! The one I got for my Mathieu?" Francis asked. "Yeah that one. Well we sort of lost him." I said. "Oh my.." Francis suddenly frowned. "Ah Mathieu I think I left my bag on Germany's seat, do you mind getting it for me?" He asked Matthew with a kind smile. "Of course papa." Matthew nodded and gave me a reassuring look before letting go of both mine and Francis' hand and left.

When Matthew was out of earshot Francis gripped onto my shoulder. "We must find that bear. Mathieu will be restless without it." The fear in his voice made me concerned. "Calm down bloody frog." Arthur warned. "I knew I saw something move. I thought it was flying mint bunny at first but when it climbed in Austria's bag I knew it was something else." He sighed. "It what!?" both Francis and I yelled in unison. "Dude Matthew will be devastated! We need to get that bear back!" I exclaimed. "Well I don't know where Austria is living at the moment." Arthur grumbled. "Ah well...he is going out with Prussia so maybe he's staying with him?" Francis said.

Matthew soon arrived with a frown. "I'm sorry papa I couldn't find your bag." He looked like he was about to cry. "I really tried I looked everywhere but..I couldn't find it. I'm so sorry papa." The way his voice wavered and his lip trembled made my blood boil I quickly pulled Matthew close to me and forced him to look at me. "You did nothing wrong Mattie, I'm pretty sure Francis just forgot he had it right in his arms." I glared at Francis who stared at us dumbfounded. "A-ah.." he deadpanned. "Oh! My mistake, I'm so sorry mon lapin." He apologized with his voice filled with guilt. "It's okay papa." He smiled at him. "Were you able to find Kuma?" he asked curiously.

Francis and I winced at his hopeful face. "Mattie look, your little bear." I stopped mid sentence and took a breath to prepare myself. "He climbed into Austria's bag. And I'm pretty sure he took him to where Prussia lives, and I'm so sorry so please don't be upset." I closely watched for his reaction, an unreadable look shot across his delicate features and filled his eyes with something I couldn't name. "Oh, but we can go get him can't we?" his voice wavered. "Of course! But first let me give a call to Prussia, and I'll let you know by tomorrow." Francis suggested. "Tomorrow?" Matthew mumbled. "Is that alright with you Mattie?" I asked worriedly.

He flinched and quickly changed his attitude. "Y-yeah." He nodded. "I'll survive." He stated jokingly and smiled. "Alright, we'll be on our way then. I promise I'll call tomorrow okay?" Francis gave a quick hug to Matthew and Arthur gave him a pitiful smile before leaving with Francis wrapping an arm around his waist, I slung my arm over Matthew's shoulder and placed a kiss on his cheek. "Don't worry he'll be back in your arms before you know it." I reassured, and with a few more words given we were both on our way as well.

But right before we left Italy waved at us and thanked me for the advice from earlier, I was soon reminded of memories I didn't want to remember. And just to make things even more whack he turned to face Matthew and smiled brightly. "It's good to see you again Mr.Canada!" both Matthew and I flinched, had Italy been able to see Matthew all along? Matthew nodded at him and gave him a quiet thanks before I quickly dragged him away with an out of control heartbeat.

-------------------------------------------------------

I groaned quietly in exhaustion as I carefully lied my head back on my pillow, Matthew had finally fallen asleep after many attempts. Francis was absolutely right about him getting restless without that bear of his, Matthew had nearly cried but I was there to comfort him. At first he refused to lie down, the dark circles under his eyes were starting to worry me and I was not going to allow him to skip his rest. And then he would get up and state that he needed to wash the dishes or needed to wash clothes, so of course knowing that they were all lies I had to carry him to bed each time he stood and wandered off.

Then he tried to come up with so many excuses it was getting tiring just by listening to them, and so I had to move to a harsher solution. I made him some hot chocolate that may or may not have been spiked with some type of medicine that put him to sleep, it wasn't anything harmful, I mean it was used for children too so what damage could it do? He was out by the second sip, his half full mug rested on the nightstand beside our bed, I pulled him close to me allowing his head to rest on my chest, he curled up against me and draped his arm around my waist.

I pulled the blanket over us and was comforted by his presence and warmth, I breathed in his scent, he smelled like maple syrup which I found a bit odd but still rather calming, the smell belonged to him and would always reminded me of him too. With his soft breaths lulling me to sleep like how a mother's lullaby lulls her children to sleep I let my eyelids drop and allowed sleep to take me in its arms, but I knew the nightmares would soon arrive, and this time I know they would be different.

Because I had changed Italy's mind about that mansion, at least I hope I did, and I found that I had somehow changed everyone's fate. I didn't exactly know how I knew but the feeling welling in my chest told me that something was absolutely different because of what I did, and with that change then maybe I would finally be free from these nightmares and be able to have a perfect sleep with Matthew by my side.

But even so it felt like I was still missing something, like I was missing a lot of pieces to this puzzle. And before I knew it I was pulled from the world of sleep by faint screaming, it was soft at first and muffled like the person was miles away, and then it grew closer and closer up to the point where I could literally hear my name being yelled out by the person, their voice was so familiar yet it wasn't due to how loud they were screaming.

And then came sobbing and whimpers as they continued to call out my name, I racked my brain for any names. My eyes were still closed and I was in a void of black, my mind and body refused to fully wake up until I figured out who it was that was screaming, and then finally it clicked; and when it did it felt like a bullet was shot through my chest knocking the wind out of me. My eyes flew open, I took a deep breath allowing air to enter my lungs and scrambled upright.

Matthew was curled up in a trembling ball beside me, his screaming had subsided to mere whimpers and sobs, I was quick to act and hurriedly scooped him up in my arms. But that seemed to have made it worse, he flinched at my touch and once again began to scream, the thing that worried me the most was that his eyes were shut tight.