#38- confession or evasion?

1390 words
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"Nutty roll for my nut or Sundae for a Sunday" Ayan hands popped up near my eyes while they were lost among the crowd of children haggling for ice cream near the stall. The park was full of people today. Sunday it is. Mothers knitting sweaters for their tramp addict babies, young men basking under the sun whereas the old ones jogging in vigour. Children scattered all over the confinement, cared little for their guardian's advice. The birds picking twigs and crust and crumbs from the ground and the squirrel gnawing the nuts. Everything was beautiful and applealing.

Ayan sat beside me. Waiting for my smile to light up his evening. He held the cones close enough to my nose where the cream touched my nose tip. My skin was comparitively more active than my eyes. I broke from the reverie and wiped my nose. In attempt to take the the nutty roll from his hands, I made it land on his jacket and very easily on the ground.

"So we are now left with only Sundae." He sighed. His hair ruffled with freshness of vernal breeze, enough to encapsulate my weariness. I gazed in his eyes pleading to take away my distress. I exhaled and looked down at the ice cream. Before I could endevour to pick it up and throw it in the bin, a toddler, as cute as a bunny in a burrow, picked it up. Ayan bent down, smiled at the little stranger and very cautiously took away the tainted nutty roll from him, replacing it with Sundae. The four year old kissed his cheeks and went away in raptures. Ayan smiled. His smile erects a mansion in my heart that welcomes me without a knock. The world indeed is a wish imploring factory. How beautiful would it be to see him kissing our own child. I looked at his still smiling face and a frivolic impulsive smile decked my face.

"Do you know Farha, how enchanting it is to see you smiling?" He stood upright, studying the curve of my lips and line of my forhead contradicting with one another. He grabbed my arm under his elbow clutch while his other hand held the melting nutty roll and we sauntered towards the marble bench nearby.

"Tell me, what is it that bothers you at the core of your heart at this moment, so that I can skim and throw it out." He let the the ice cream drop in the bin.

"I don't deserve being friend with anyone. How come you never adhered to this." Innocence, regret and apology, everything muddled up in my words.

"From where did this topic came from and why should you bother about it. I am the best you can have as a friend." He raised one eyebrow archly and wrapped my shoulder with his right arm as we sat down on the cold marble errection.

I made no objection to that truth though I wasn't satisfied by his dialect. "Do you only wish to be my friend forever and never be my husband." I looked at his bewildered eyes. My statement was well thought but wrongly delivered. I wanted to give him time but then I didn't have enough. Dad is eager to see me married and if Ayan doesn't endeavours, I will never be able to pacify my heart or my father's head.

He gave a desultory smile and said, "Is that your aim in life? To be a wife? I thought you are far more capable to make your own name and not to adopt mine. You have a wide life for yourself and I don't want you to ruin it just because of me." I looked at him in perfect civilty. Last time when I mentioned marriage he did the same, thwarted me of my discernment. He has got various reasons to appease me but I cannot be placated this time.

"I don't see any harm in marrying you. My have a quite a good affinity to connubial life since I see you as my husband. Will you ever question or deprive me of my cababilities? Or do you think I would balk your felicity? Ayan, marriage exists to complete each other not to compete with one another"

Ayan was trapped and couldn't find a crevice to escape. He took few minutes before he spoke. He shifted his gaze from my eyes and said, "I can't marry you or rather I shouldn't marry you."

I grabbed his jaw and turned his face towards me. "I don't want to hear that ever again. Do you get it Mr. Alien."

"But this is the truth." He removed my palms from his jaw.

"Justify it." The whole world is playing with my feelings. Kaya doesn't want to be friend and Ayan doesn't want to be my husband. I wanted to know that why was I being denied from having my share of happiness.

"Farha please, don't doubt my love by nagging for reasons." He tried to evade. Pretty handy but it wont work today because I am in the worst of my moods.

"I don't doubt our relation but my father will. Have you planned to woo me life long? Well if you could explain that to him then I am ready be your half girlfriend." I laughed deliberately.

"Its not funny." Ayan grimaced. "Tell me farha, how would you feel if you are chained with gold and bestowed with wings."

"I am bad at riddles. Please be specific." I complained.

He looked at me with pleading eyes and extracting words very carefully he said, "My family is my priority and Humaira appi is my responsibility. How can I be happy when she is not." He pressed my hands. "Tell me Farha what should I do? How can I paint my better tomorrow by seeing her slogging with her blotted past?"

His eyes moistened. I raised no more suspicion. His heart is bona fide. How beautiful it is to love such a soul. How beautiful it would be to love him forever. How stupid was I to claim him without asking his permission. I thought about Sajid Bhaiya and his frangible promise to me "You deserve nothing less than a good husband and I will get Ayan for you." We stupid mortals never think once before scrampreing for heart yearned desires. I don't know how well kept this promise would turn our but having Ayan in my life is enough for me, wether as a husband or as a friend. I looked at his diminuting countenence hoping for an appeasement from me. I complied with his heart but with a pint of funny verbose.

"So the conclusion is, you would stay virgin until Humaira appi gets remarried to someone." Spasm of laughter ran through my veins. The brevity of his mandate was well spitted out by me in one sentence. Ayan gave me a convulsive look and smiled coldly. Turning abreast to me he held my shouldiers firmly and said, "I fervently wish that you had some brians. Your tongue needs reins. Now listen carefully, Humaira appi is arriving tomorrow. I sorely plead for your sagacity."

I sheiked in raptures and plunged into his streached arms. Crushing his bones with my rampant hug. I made his bosom sway right and left as I shouted in his tender ears "Oh God, I can't elaborate how happy am I to see her."

"Control your emotions idiot, there are people all around. Envince your sisterly love to her tomorrow." He withdrew and once again held my shouldiers under his grip. "And one request, can you be my freind for a week instead of girlfriend." His voice sober but dictative.

"Sure", I condescendingly walked away from him. "I am your friend and I am a girl. This isn't going to be a big issue." Turning back to him I smiled hideously.

He followed me slothfully as I left his company. As if letting a kite wander among the nimbus while the strings are safe in his hands. He doesn't licence me from being a free bird. He rejoices in my twitch and turn and even bears my chirping. He doesn't gifts me a golden cage but a blue sky to venture. If he awaits my return in the evening, I surely will return.
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