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Chapter 9 - White is Fading

Nereyda

The wolf chased me down a corridor of nothing. My naked feet clashed against the infinite black repetitively but the lack of anything around me meant that I travelled nowhere. I just ran and ran, away from the murderous white wolf and towards nothing. I glanced over my shoulder several times, wanting to ascertain that there was a reason for my desperation and I was not running from nothing as well as into nothing.

I could not let the white wolf catch me, I had to get back to the castle. I looked behind me once more and tripped over air. The white wolf was in fact not white at all. He was light consuming black, opaque, matt and growling.

My stomach fell out from under me, plunging into the deep black pits below. The black wolf pounced, blue eyes glowing and salivating jaws snapping.

I fell further into the darkness, the wolf slipping further and further away from my line of thought. I had somehow managed to rid myself of the ghastly, somewhat macabre image. I welcomed the nothing and drifted through it easily.

My legs shifted slightly, rubbing against the familiar silk of my dress but also against the rougher texture of what I could only assume was linen. I could feel my soft hair curling at my neck and the restrictive corset, tight around my rib cage.

The smell of the forest reached me, pine trees and undergrowth. My limbs felt achey, unused.

My sticky eyelids blinked awake, eyes spinning to take in my surroundings. The grey space around me was foreign, the low roof of the tent hanging just a couple of metres above me. Somehow I knew that I was not on Snow Leopard territory anymore.

Fear crept up my spine at the rustle of the trees outside, the wind blowing through the hanging branches unforgivingly. There were male voices shouting outside, sounding as if there was some serious commotion. One voice rose dramatically and I caught the words, "What the fuck!" before a fleshy thud reached my ears. I knew that there was a fight breaking out outside and I had no idea how to react.

I felt like I was seeing the world through a thick, heavy mist. The back of my head still throbbed with the remainder of my headache and my vision continued to blur in and out of focus. The thought of my headache brought my thoughts back to what had caused it in the first place and I felt my face heat with the blood of a blush. The headache worsened.

I knew that I needed to get a hold on myself, I couldn't just go on fainting whenever I felt any kind of emotion. However, as much as I wanted to be able to control my leopard, I had no means of doing so. I had tried everything over the years, both with my tutor and by myself but the only thing that allowed me to stay composed was when I blocked out my beast completely. There was no other way.

I rose from where I lay sprawled on a palette of black silk blankets and hesitantly started to make my way out of the tent. The small space had started to echo with the pitter patter of falling raindrops, the deafeningly sharp sounds incensing me to leave the tent. That and I was insanely curious about the fight outside. I wondered where Braeden was.

I crouched low as I crawled out of the tent, ducking under the hanging canvas covering the entrance. The grass was wet under my bare feet, the mud sinking in between my toes. The howling of the wind was twice as loud now that I was out of the tent, my hair whipped around me.

I wrapped my arms around myself as goosebumps sprung up all over my skin. I squinted through the darkness and my flailing hair, trying to see where I was.

I was in the middle of a clearing. There were about twenty tents spread across the wide space, a roaring bonfire protruding from the middle of them.

Silhouettes of figures stood against the flames, two of them in an obviously hostile confrontation. I wasn't sure whether it would be a good idea to approach them but then if I didn't head that way, where else would I go? My leopard urged me forward, wanting to go in that direction for reasons I could not understand.

I stumbled in the darkness, struggling to keep my balance against the buffeting wind and the slippery ground. I couldn't make out exactly what was going on up ahead, especially now that the rain had increased in fervor. I did however, see one figure storm off away from the fire, the remaining figure shaking a fist after his retreating companion.

I wondered what strange land I had stumbled across where nothing was white and people actually had the nerve to argue with each other. Surely there could be no greater disrespect.

My head ached as I puzzled over the mystery in front of me. I honestly had no idea what was going on. My foot came down on a tent peg, my leg crumpling at the pain that went through my foot. Totally my own fault for not thinking of the dangers unassuming tents posed to innocent girls like myself. The sarcastic thought was as much instinctual as it was unusual.

"Oh Rey." Somehow the deep male voice reached me under the wailing wind.

Strong, warm hands came around my waist lifting me into a hard male body. I wrapped my arms around Braeden's neck, allowing him to move his hands to my thighs so he could hold me up.

I was suddenly very emotional, my face crinkling as I buried it into Braeden's neck. I was faintly aware of the rocking movement as he walked but I felt so safe in his arms that I could not bring myself to even wonder about where he was taking me. I knew that if I was with him I would be safe. A stupid notion if I put it into context but I could not help the way I felt. Tingles spread through my body where we touched, the feeling was warm, fuzzy and very comforting.

Somehow the soothing sway of Braeden's long strides evened out the sickening sway of my brain, leaving a still sense of peace in it's place.

The snapping twigs of branches underfoot seemed to count down the time. I clung to Braeden unapologetically, breathing in the scent of fresh pine and cinnamon. I needed his company in the same way I needed water. After too long without him I felt bereft, as if a part of me was missing. I reveled in the fullness his presence incited in my heart.

Just as I began to feel consciousness evading me, Braeden spoke.

"I sent the leopard back to the castle. I told him you would be back by sunrise."

The trees sheltered us from the storm but he still had to speak directly in my ear in order to be heard. I wondered how he had managed to convince Simon to completely drop his duty to the crown. Braeden must have come up with some pretty persuasive arguments in order for him to make that happen.

I simply nodded, not wanting to further break the peaceful silence around us. It was as if the storm was a tornado and one word from me would suck us out of the eye and into the spinning monstrosity around us.

Several beats later Braeden sat me down on a rock. He stood to his full height in front of me and I could not help but notice the way his wet shirt clung to his every hard, outlined muscle. Lightning flashed behind him and I was struck by how beautifully powerful he looked. His blue eyes flashed in the brief light before his figure was once again encapsulated in darkness.

"You need to let go of your leopard." He extended a hand towards me and I took it hesitantly. I had unwavering faith in Braeden but I was still apprehensive about what he meant by those words. Surely he knew that I could not let go without fainting?

"I'm going to show you how," he pulled me close and whispered in my ear.

My leopard went haywire at the prospect of escape, pushing relentlessly at my head. I jerked away from Braeden, plopping back down on the smooth but slippery rock.

"Don't touch me," I moaned, irritated with both him and myself. I just wanted to be able to do what I wanted without provoking a migraine, I didn't think that was too much to ask from the universe.

Braeden's eyes went hard at my words, the dark blue freezing quietly. I was not sure whether it was from anger or from hurt but my instincts told me it was the latter.

"Get up," he snapped, taking his own steps away from me now.

I regretted my words but there was nothing I could do about it now. I stood slowly, glaring lowly at Braeden. Who did he think he was giving me orders? My eyes narrowed.

"Careful there Nereyda, you don't want to work yourself up."

I wasn't sure whether he was being serious but my meagre people skills told me that he his sarcastic tone told of a mocking insinuation. I was taken aback by the insult, it went against every idea I had of him. Perhaps he was being serious but the pang in my chest told me otherwise. My lip curled in response and I made to turn away.

"Okay I'm sorry, that was uncalled for." He raised his hands in surrender, his brow creasing as he tried to reign in his emotions. "This is so not how this was supposed to go," he breathed, pulling gently at his hair with both hands.

I continued to glare at him, unable to shake off the effect of his harsh words so easily.

"I can hardly concentrate on anything when you are with me," his whisper reached me under the howling wind. I realised that I had been using my extended leopard senses and that was how I had heard everything he had said to me.

At the realisation, my leopard surged in my head and I swayed uneasily on my feet.

"Slowly Rey," he whispered again and the encouragement seemed to sooth my leopard enough that she was less vicious in her attempts to escape. Her need to be free was still there in the background but it was nowhere near the crippling pain that it had been previously.

I blinked up at Braeden in confusion and he stared down at me with the same pained look in his eyes.

"You distract me like nothing else in this world," his lips moved but there was no sound from his vocal chords. I heard his breath in the air. "Listen to the trees," he took a step closer to me.

I did as he asked, opening my senses to the world around me. I heard the flutter of a bird's wing, the quiet scuttle of ant's feet. The sighing clash of tree branches.

I heard Braeden's shaky exhale as he dropped his head and his hair fell into his eyes. I was unable to resist the pull of his hair, reaching forward to brush it back out of his face.

His blue eyes pierced me from under his thick eyelashes. "Why didn't you come to see me?" His whisper was raw now, clearly displaying his honest hurt.

I shook my head in response, I had nothing to say to him.

"Talk to me please," he pulled away from my hand but did not move his body away from mine. I could feel the heat of his body as it stood inches from mine. The harsh wind tore at the droplets of water that had congealed on my skin, ripping my body heat away from me. My shoulders shook and my teeth chattered.

I feared that if I spoke I might bite off my tongue. I also did not want to break the spell that Braeden had cast on us. He had the ability to make everything perfect in a single moment and I knew that if I spoke we would probably end up fighting again.

It dawned on me then how late it was. Yesterday had been Stymie but in the fast approaching morning I would be expected to be down for breakfast.

I shook my head again and drew away from Braeden. If I was honest with myself I knew that I was scared of my feelings for him and I did not know how to cope with the emotions he inspired in me. However, I also knew that I liked the way he made me feel and in that way I would always continue to seek him out. I knew that with my current thinking I could never win. I either had to confront my feelings for him and embrace the way he made me feel or I had to decisively decide to cut off my relationship with him. The answer was an obvious one in my mind.

Braeden sighed in exasperation but allowed me to move away from him.

"I'll walk you back to the castle," he spoke a little louder but not loud enough that I could have heard him without my leopard.

"Okay," I said softly and I felt his surprise that I had answered with my voice rather than with a nod or gesture. I was trying.

My skirts trailed in the quaggy mud behind me and I cringed silently at the demise of my white dress.

Braeden saw my gaze and I felt his silent amusement at my situation. I glared up at his laughing eyes. "Well if you find it so funny then you can carry me." I could hardly believe the bold statement had left my mouth but I was pleased with the raucous laugh that exploded from his lips.

"Of course my lady," he mock bowed before moving so fast that I hardly knew what had happened. His arms went around my knees and shoulders, snapping me up into his arms bridal style.

A strange, high pitched sound left my mouth in surprise but my mouth spread into a wide smile. Braeden's own smile froze as he blinked dazedly down at me. He regained his composure after a couple of beats, his own smile returning in full force.

"You need to stop looking so beautiful if you don't want me to drop you," he teased easily, breaking into a jog towards the castle.

"Hmm," was the only response I could manage around my smile. This man made me so happy.

"Are you going to be okay when you get back?" His jog was more of a run now, the trees flashed past us in quick succession.

I nodded into his neck but then remembered that he wanted me to speak. "Yes, I will just hop into the goods lift and then climb up to my room."

He looked down at me in surprise. "You're serious?"

"Of course," sarcasm was not my most practiced strength and I would not feel confident enough to be sarcastic out loud.

"Wow, I had no idea you were so..." he searched for a word, "intrepid."

A high pitched laugh came out of me, I thought it was called a giggle in one of the books I had read.

Braeden seemed to hold me tighter. "Oh Rey, you are going to be the end of me." He said the damning words with such affection yet the meaning of them was not lost on me.

"I don't want that," my smile was gone and a frown was in it's place.

"I do," he whispered back and I realised that we had stopped. We stood directly beside the castle now, the goods lift swung silently overhead.

I didn't know what he was implying in those two words but they felt heavier than they appeared. "Will I see you again?" My question was hesitant, I didn't know what I would do if he said no.

He beamed at my question so I assumed he was happy that I had asked. "Sundown tomorrow, in the back alley by the Promenade."

I nodded in response, secretly ecstatic that he wanted to see me again so soon. I started towards the unloading platform for the goods lift, turning my back on Braeden.

He caught my hand before I could get far, tingles shooting up my arm like usual. He pulled me back towards him, leaning down to whisper in my ear, "Good night Nereyda." His soft lips brushed my cheek briefly causing my breath to suck in as a quiet gasp.

"Good night Braeden," I breathed before pulling away for good this time. I walked away from him towards the castle, the shape of his lips continuing to tingle in my cheek. 

--- A/N ---

Aw this was cute (I thought) haha. Happy New Year again everyone, I wish you all the best for 2016. Let me know what you thought about the chapter or where you think it is going next, it really means a lot to me when I hear your theories! Thanks again for reading, Braeden loves you all! - Zoe x