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Chapter 20 - White drips in Black

Nereyda

Two sharp raps cut through the stilted silence of my room.

My vision blurred as my eyes crossed briefly.

I could smell him through the door and I would give almost anything at that moment to just make him leave.

My eyes closed and my lower jaw trembled. "Enter," my voice wobbled unattractively as I spoke.

His red hair poked in through the door, looking almost brown in the light of the single lit candle quivering on my desk.

I watched his shadow flicker in the mirror.

As his bare feet padded closer, the flame illuminated the frown openly marring his handsome face.

It was with shaking hands that I continued to draw the comb through my hair. Had been a braver girl, I might have slashed its sharpened prongs across my throat. That would be a blissful ending I was sure.

Oscar hung behind me like a spectre, watching my repetitive gesture with hooded eyes.

His rough hand came up to halt my movements and my lower lip caught between my teeth.

Memories of the previous night slithered around the edge of my consciousness. What had so nearly happened between Oscar and I. How I might even say I was grateful for Braeden's interruption, if only because he'd delayed the completion of my inevitable marriage responsibilities.

The completion of which might need attending to now.

Oscar brushed my hair off my shoulder, his rough skin skimming the curve of my neck.

I held my breath, not liking the vulnerable position. Whatever the witch had done to me had worked; you could neither smell nor see anything of Braeden's mark on me. Although that didn't mean I couldn't feel it embedded in my flesh.

A masculine sigh erupted from Oscar's lips as the valley between his brows deepened. He backed several steps away from me and I twisted on my stool to keep him in my line of sight.

I regretted sitting in such poor lighting now. Half his face was cast in shadow, but the other side was licked with gentle illumination. He looked distressed beyond measure.

"You," his voice broke on the word and he stopped to clear his throat. "You understand," he dragged his hands down his face, "that your lover murdered my brother."

Air flew into my lungs in a light-headed rush. I realised I'd been holding my breath. How did he know?

My eyes must have conveyed my silent question because he answered it. "Deacon told me before we married." He turned away so only his lips caught the light.

My mind hummed as I thought back to the conversation I had overheard. Unless my memory failed me, Deacon had only told Oscar that I was with one of the rebellion not which one. Then again, I had left in a flurry and probably hadn't heard the end of their conversation. Gods be damned.

"I thought about it Nereyda," I watched his lips move in the mesmerising candle light. "But I don't think I can be the good guy here."

I focused abruptly on his words once again. What did that mean?

"I can't...be married to you."

My heart panged and my breath came faster.

"You don't know how much this hurt me," his voice was brittle and his right eye caught the light for a millisecond.

He was right; I had no idea how he felt. To lose a sibling...especially now when family was so sparse. For no good reason either. I couldn't say I was angry with him for wanting to separate himself from me. Even if I had no idea how he was going to manage it.

"My father will never accept," the words came more defensively than I'd hoped.

Oscar took another couple of steps back. He didn't seem surprised by my statement. Which led me to fear whatever plan he'd contrived.

"In respect for the memory of my brother," he hedged. "I feel a moral obligation to report your illegal actions to the crown."

My fists clenched and my leopard roared. This was anger as I knew it.

"Moral obligation?" I hissed. "What about fucking revenge!"

He knew what the consequences of his actions would be. My family would disown me, throw me out of the city and drop me onto one of the Paladian mountains. The country people of Paladu were ruthless and I knew they all hated me. I'd be dead within the day.

My entire body shook as I bared my teeth at him. I realised I'd discarded my comb and now stood facing the bastard.

"Don't be stupid Nereyda," Oscar lifted his hands in a surrendering way. I couldn't help but hear his tone as patronising.

"Stupid?" I yelled, fumbling for my comb on the dresser and hurling it in his vague direction. "You're stupid!" He dodged the comb somehow, probably using his animal eyesight. As it was, the previously dark room was clear as day to me now. I knew my eyes were glowing.

"You're the one choosing the most long-winded way in the world to kill me!" I was absolutely sure that people in the castle could hear our conversation but I just no longer cared. Obviously I had snapped.

"No, Nereyda, listen." He lunged forward to grab my arms before I could throw anything else.

I stood in his grip, breathing hard and staring him down.

"Why do you think I'm telling you this?" He asked, lowering his voice to a more reasonable level. "I came to warn you."

I blinked up at him, frowning openly in confusion.

"I thought about it a lot Nereyda, and this is really the best I could come up with."

I promptly started struggling in his arms once again. That was completely the wrong thing for him to have said.

"Wait, wait," there was a brief skirmish between us in which he won.

"I came to tell you to leave Paladu."

I froze, staring at him with wide eyes. What did that even mean?

"Actually, you should probably leave the Five Nations altogether."

I pulled away from him roughly, my head spinning with his words. Was he crazy? A month ago I'd never left the castle in my life. Now he was asking me to cross the Tainted Sea?

"Why?" I breathed, running a hand through my hair.

"Because of that," he gestured to my moving fingers.

I stilled and lifted a piece of my white hair. "This?" I asked.

He looked uncomfortable, shifting slightly on his feet. "There's only one family in the whole of the Five Nations with hair that colour..." He trailed off. "People would recognise you anywhere."

And once they'd recognised me, they would report that they'd seen a snow leopard. My father would catch and kill me in days.

"Omarion," I whispered the word into the restless black of my closed eyelids, imagining what the desert lands would look like. "I could go to Omarion."

Oscar scoffed and my eyes snapped open. "A leopard in a snake's world?" He shook his head, "You'd be better off crossing the Tainted Sea."

He'd very quickly managed to make me angry again. "Why are we even having this conversation?" I twisted my face into a scowl, narrowing my eyes. "You know the best solution? Why don't you just not fucking tell my father?"

His eyes were briefly concealed from my view as he looked down, but when he raised them...there was something dark there.

"I don't want to be married to you Nereyda."

I gritted my teeth against the pain his words caused me.

"This is the best way for everyone," he finished, making his way towards the door. "You have tonight to leave," his voice was soft again and it almost reminded me of my father. "Tomorrow we divorce."

The door clicked shut behind him.

+++++

The tree branches ripped at my clothes and face and it was with melancholy reflectiveness that I realised it would be the last time I ran through these forests.

A two strapped bag sat comfortably on my shoulders and I wore the least restrictive dress I owned. All in an effort to run away from the only home I'd ever known.

The tents of the wolf camp became slowly visible as I ran further into the forest. Simon hadn't approved of my planned detour when I'd gone to him after Oscar had left. He'd thought that we should've packed and left straight away. I'd told him that wasn't a possibility and he'd agreed to meet me halfway.

Simon was my backup plan. Plan A was to convince Braeden to come with me. But I knew the likelihood of that happening was close to nil. I had to be realistic about my options.

When I burst into the clearing of the camp it was strangely silent. What noise I would have usually associated with the wolves was abnormally absent. I looked around the scattered tents in confusion, wondering where everyone was. Not even the fire was lit to cast silhouetted figures against the cloth buildings.

"Rey," a tired voice came from the left causing me to jump in fright.

Braeden stepped out from behind a tree and, having overcome my shock, I smiled sadly at the sight. I'd always remember how he liked to step out from his vegetation.

"What are you doing here?" He asked me, seeming rather distracted. He always did have more important things on his mind than me.

"I'm leaving Paladu." Time was scarce, there was no reason to skirt around the point.

Braeden lifted himself away from the tree, "What?"

"I was hoping you would come with me."

He was immediately shaking his head. My heart free fell. Braeden gestured for me to follow him through the forest and I grudgingly complied.

"Can you back up a bit?" He asked, taking my hand as we walked.

I pulled my hand out of his grasp reflexively, still hurt by his quick rejection.

He frowned but didn't comment on my resistance.

"There's not a lot to say," I sighed laboriously. "Oscar saw you kill his brother and tomorrow he's going to report my association with you to my father. As revenge."

Braeden blew out a slow breath, "Fuck, I'm sorry." It was silent for a few moments. "You don't have to run away, you could still stay here."

What in the world was he talking about? I hadn't thought him stupid enough to think my father wouldn't find me. "How?" was all I asked.

"You could stay with us; the wolves. We'd protect you," he spoke with so much conviction that I almost believed him.

I arched a brow in his direction, "And Asher would be okay with that?"

A shadow saturated his expression. "Asher's dead."

I gasped in a lump of air. How could that be? Asher was the alpha, surely he couldn't be so easily taken down. Wait, did that mean "You're the alpha now?"

The corners of Braeden's mouth turned down in grim confirmation.

There was a moment of silence as we both contemplated the news the other had shared.

"You won't be able to protect me from my father," I broke the silence, "not forever."

Braeden looked at me stoically, "Who says it will be forever?"

I gasped again. "You're still trying to kill him!"

His eyes closed as he looked away from me, the moonlight streaming through the trees glinting off his hair. "It's for Lithia."

My anger simmered, "It's to kill my family!" I shouted. "Why can't you understand that?" He still refused to look at me. "Do my thoughts and feelings not matter at all to you? They don't matter to anyone else."

There were tears spilling from my eyes now and I swiped at them angrily.

"Rey," he said gently, reaching for me.

"No!" I shrieked pushing away from him, my feet sinking further into the icy snow. "You've taken everything from me!" I sounded hysterical even to my own ears but I continued on with abandon. "In the space of one month you've demolished every hope I've ever had."

Braeden's jaw hardened as he flicked his hair out of his eyes. "Don't put this all on me," his voice was low. "Don't act like you didn't have a choice."

"A choice!" I cried. "Never in my life have I been given a choice about anything!"

Braeden's bare forearms flexed. "You could have walked away!" It was the first time I'd ever heard him shout. "You didn't have to stay with me."

The tears I hadn't managed to wipe off were starting to freeze on my face. Despite my heavy outer garments I shivered.

"Goodbye Braeden," I took a few steps backwards. "I'm leaving now."

His head snapped up as he watched me put distance between us. "Wait," he lunged forward to grab my arm.

I could probably have broken his loose grip if I'd wanted to but I didn't. I stood stock still, waiting for him to speak.

"I- you- where are you going to go?" There was a desperation in his eyes that stabbed at my heart.

I looked away from his persuasive gaze and across at the moonlit tree branches. I hadn't wanted to tell him this.

"I'm going to cross the Tainted Sea." My words were but an icy whisper yet his hand still tightened painfully on my wrist.

"The Land of the Forsaken," Braeden murmured the words I'd been astutely avoiding. His eyes focused back on me after dancing around the clearing. "No," he said, "I won't let you."

I took the opportunity to jostle my arm in his grip, attempting to loosen his hold. Who was he to let me do anything?

He let me go, lifting his hands in surrender. "No, Rey. All I meant was that it's not safe. You'll die within a week of stepping on their land."

His confidence in me was astounding. Not that I was very surprised. It was likely that I wouldn't survive once in The Land of the Forsaken. After all, it had earned that name for a reason.

"No one will care whether I live or die," I mumbled turning away from him and wrapping my arms around my middle. I couldn't understand why I always ended up spilling my darkest fears at this man's feet.

"Like hell, I care!" Braeden exclaimed, running two hands through his hair.

I shook my head at the ground with eyes closed. He didn't deserve to care.

"You're not going," he stated firmly. "And that's final."

The familiar frustration welled inside me, making me feel trapped in my own skin. "You can't control me!" I shouted. "I've had enough of men telling me what to do, all my fucking life!"

He looked away from me and started to pace up and down, his fists clenching and unclenching furiously. "So you're just going to leave?" He asked. "What about everything you have here, what about your brother?"

His words drove me back. I didn't ask how he knew it was a boy, news spread like wildfire in cities like this one. I hadn't even considered my brother whilst making my plans. I realised now that I'd made a grave oversight.

Braeden seemed to see how I was reconsidering my options and he pressed his advantage. "You can't just leave him here to grow up in isolation like you."

My thoughts spun as I tried to think of a loophole in the catastrophic mess of my life. I gritted my teeth, "I'll come back."

Braeden scowled in confusion. "What?"

"If I don't die," I elaborated, "I'll return to Paladu in twelve months."

He sighed at my words, yanking at his hair again. "Please don't go Rey," he whispered and I inwardly knew how hard it was for him to beg.

I braced myself against his gleaming blue eyes. "I want my money back." I needed it to make my journey across Anell.

Braeden breathed out sharply, the corners of his lips turning up at a painful inside joke. "You can't."

I blinked in confusion. What did he mean I couldn't have my money back? "What have you done?" I breathed, dreading his answer.

His eyes darkened in the moonlight, "Our ride into the castle wasn't free."

My hand struck out and collided with the side of his face. Another tear slipped from my eye.

It was silent for a weighty second. Then he took my hand and pulled me into him, his lips brushing mine.

I allowed myself to savour the kiss for a bitter moment before pushing him away. He let me.

The red handprint marring the side of his face didn't offer me much satisfaction. "When I return to pick up my brother," I choked out, "I don't want to see your face."

Then I stormed away from him into the forest and didn't look back. I would meet Simon by the wall and he'd accompany me across Anell to the Tainted Sea. Then I'd be alone in the Land of the Forsaken. 

--- A/N --- 

end of part one