The slow rhythmic breathing of the toddler weighing down slightly on his chest was the only thing that allowed James to enter a dreamless sleep. Harry refused to sleep in any room alone, taking to climbing into his father's bed nearly every night or finding wherever his father was and falling asleep beside him. The night before, Harry had woke up screaming about something in his sleep, possibly a nightmare as James figured it was. When James was finally able to bring him out of the terrified state, Harry latched onto his father with no intention of letting go. It left James awake for hours afterwards, not able to fall asleep with the idea that Harry could suffer through another nightmare during the night.

It also brought James to shed several tears but he wouldn't bring himself to fully cry, in fear that he would wake up Harry. James never allowed himself to cry in front of Harry because he never wanted his son to see him in a sad state. Remus told him on many occasions that it wasn't healthy for James to bottle up his emotions in such a way and that it would maybe be beneficial for Harry to see that even his father crying was an okay thing. But James couldn't do it, Harry had been through enough in his young life and maybe if he didn't remember it later on down the road, James didn't want to expose him to anything else except happiness.

When James did wake up the next morning, it was just as the sun was coming up, leaving the sky a swirl of colours outside of the window. Harry was sound asleep against him, his little fingers still clutching James' shirt slightly. The man didn't dare move, he didn't make a sound, in fear that he would wake Harry up and he just wanted the boy to sleep as much as possible that morning. It was a few hours until noon when he agreed to meet up Sirius at the local park to allow Harry to play, although with how things had ended the previous day, James wasn't sure if that was still going to happen.

As he ran his fingers through the messy black hair that Harry seemed to inherit from him, James thought about the fight that had taken place between Sirius and Remus when he called for the two to gather at the flat. He needed the men to reconcile things, he needed his brothers to act like brothers again. He hoped to have them in the same room that he could have them talk it out and have the two start working on healing their friendship.  But no such thing happened that night and James was regretting bringing them together at all as it only led to making things worse apparently.

Remus had arrived first, believing that he was coming over to keep Harry and James company for a couple of hours. He was even willing to watch over Harry while advising James to take a nap because in his words he " looked absolutely dreadful." James hadn't fully disclosed the real reasoning behind why he invited Remus over, although he was happy to see his friend. But as soon as there was another knock on the flat's door, Remus immediately looked over at James in disappointment.

Perhaps he had been suspicious because the man had been encouraging both of them to talk for so long but they didn't bring themselves to do it on their own. It seemed James was becoming desperate to the point where he felt the need to trick them in to talk to one another. As expected, Sirius was at the door and as soon as he spotted Remus inside, the wizard turned to leave but James called for him to come back and stay.

"You two have to work this out," James pleaded with them, " this cannot go on forever. You two cannot stay angry at each other forever. Look, I know what happened and understand why both of you are upset, but...we've all been brothers since we all met in first year. One of our brothers betrayed us, Peter betrayed all of us, but that doesn't mean we have to let that break us any further than what we are now."

James stood in between them, thankful that Harry was preoccupied with the toys in his room that the boy didn't venture out to see the adults arguing.

"Peter may have been the one to betray us," Sirius began, " but that didn't stop him from pointing the finger first at me!"

He was glaring in Remus' direction, bringing the other man to look away, probably still feeling some guilt.

"For the last time, I merely stated that you had family ties with some of the Death Eaters," Remus said quietly, " which wasn't a lie. You have blood relations to Bellatrix-"

"AND YOU SHARE THE SAME BLOOD AS THE WEREWOLF THAT BIT YOU!" Sirius snarled. " Your blood is just as tainted as mine and yet, you accused me first! You brought it up to Dumbledore first, Remus! I hadn't associated with anyone from that family since I ran away and you knew that! You knew when I ran away and went to live with James, why...why would I go back to help them?"

"Well, it doesn't matter, but you felt the need to get back at me for it and decided to use the lycanthropy against me!" Remus snapped in return. "I told you all what happened and you knew how much I hated it and yet, you thought I was going to join up with other werewolves that aligned themselves with dark magic? AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO ME AND MY FAMILY?!"

The conversation wasn't going as James had hoped, but he was expecting them to yell, he was expecting them to still feel anger. But he hoped with everything in them that they could start working towards moving on. However, it was clear that both men were feeling the same pain, to have a brother accuse them of such things, it had destroyed their friendship. Even when discovering that Peter had been the one giving away information, betraying all of them, they couldn't let it go.

"Stop it," James said quietly as the two were left just breathing heavily, letting out all their frustrations, " you two have to stop this. You both made mistakes, it doesn't matter who pointed their finger first-"

"It does matter!" Sirius interrupted him. "Yes, James, it does matter, because from that point on, no one in the Order really looked at me the same. They all looked at me with their suspicions. I only said that if they were going to look at me for my blood then they should be looking at Remus' since he was infected with lycanthropy. It was out of his control, but I had no control over being a Black either!"

It didn't end well, both men had their valid points but they weren't willing to let it go as of yet, they were still harbouring feelings of anger and hurt. Enough that Sirius stormed off, disapparating from the scene before James could stop him. Shortly after, Remus left as well, not uttering a word to him before he disappeared. Once again, it had left James alone with either one of his remaining brothers being there when he needed them. But he needed them together at the same time, not just the carefully planned visits so that they didn't run into one another.

Collapsing to the floor in a heap after both men had left, James sat there for who knows how long before Harry ventured out of his room. At first, the little boy poked his head out, wondering if the coast was clear. He had heard all the yelling while in his room but he was smart enough that he wasn't going to venture out to investigate. Whenever Uncle Sirius or Uncle Remus visited they always greeted him with smiles or presents, but when they came over that day, neither one of them appeared happy. It was a clear sign for Harry to remain in his room.

But with everything all said and done, the little boy walked out of the room, his hand pressed against the wall as he walked down the hall towards the small living room. His father sat in the centre, looking down at his hands, completely silently.

With little to no knowledge as to what was taking place around him, Harry could only understand that his father was sad. He could see the frown on his father's face and normally when Harry made his way over, his father would greet him with a bright smile and some form of happy expression. However, in those broken moments, James couldn't even bring himself to look up until Harry's hands came to touch both sides of his face. Instantly, he peered up, met with the familiar green gaze that he had come to adore.

Harry didn't know words of comfort, he didn't know what he could say or do that would make the man feel better. But he did know of things that normally made him feel better and the child was willing to try all of that. Within seconds, Harry was making all sorts of silly faces at James, something that James did far too often when he thought Harry was about to cry. He would make all kinds of faces, hoping that it would make Harry laugh instead.

It seemed to work in reverse as well as James smiled, wondering why Harry was making the faces at him at the moment until it clicked. Harry had always been a smart boy or observant as Sirius liked to put it. He liked to copy things that happened around him and during a time such as that one, it was definitely appreciated as James let out a small laugh.

Once he got a laugh out of his father, Harry decided he could cheer him up by inviting him to play. "Daddy, go play?" he offered, pointing in the direction of his room. 

When James didn't answer right away, Harry grabbed his father's face again and neared his face to his. "Plaaaaaay?"

Looking up at his son at the time before lifting him up to go play and looking down at Harry as he slept on his chest that morning, James couldn't help but sigh in a sort of relief. The war had brought about terrible things, he had been the source of so many lives lost, families broken, and friendships seemingly destroyed. Yet, James couldn't deny that something good had come of it, someone great actually, and that was Harry. His son became his everything in such a short matter of time and even when the world seemed terrible around them, Harry always had a way of making things better.

When James was feeling terrible, Harry always found a way of making him laugh throughout the day, even if he wasn't trying. On days where James felt like he couldn't bring himself to get out of bed or James felt like empty, Harry was there to remind him that he had a reason to get up and that his life wasn't empty. There was a little boy who needed him and depended on him. He had suffered a great loss too even if he didn't understand it. They needed to be there for each other and that was what mattered the most.

And after remaining still for a couple of hours for his son's sake, Harry finally began stirring from his sleep, lifting his head up with a sleepy expression. Almost instantly, James was left eye-level with the lightning bolt scar that brought his son to become somewhat of a celebrity among the wizarding world as many came to marvel the "Boy-Who-Lived." To James, it was a painful reminder to look at, as it was almost like a permanent scar of his own failures. It reminded him that he hadn't done enough to protect his family.

While Harry was the Boy-Who-Lived, James deemed himself as the Man-Who-Failed. He didn't save his wife, he didn't save his son, and he certainly didn't save his brothers. James carried the guilt of not preventing the falling out between Sirius and Remus and even carried the guilt of not protecting Peter in some ways.

Knowing Peter since they were all boys, he didn't think Peter was one to turn to the Dark Arts unless it was out of fear and before Peter was hauled away to Azkaban, James had to know why. He wanted to know why Peter had turned his back on the Order and it all came down to the fact that he was frightened. He had always been a boy that had openly expressed his fears and insecurities, leaving him a vulnerable subject especially to Lord Voldemort. The Dark Wizard had taken Peter's mother's life as a form of a threat and that left Peter to quickly turn.

James couldn't understand why Peter didn't come clean to the Order as they would have helped keep his mother safe, but instead, Peter only acted out through his own fears. He had taken on the responsibility of becoming the Secret Keeper, knowing fully that the information would lead to terrible things if it got into the wrong hands. And that was exactly what happened.

Peter's fear of losing his own mother and his own life, resulted in Harry losing his mother's life. There had been an elaborate plan behind it all too, one that would frame Sirius and have him take the fall that would land him in Azkaban. James couldn't bring himself to believe it at first, he thought something else had to be playing a part, but it was true and it only made things worse in the man's mind.

Everything around James seemed to crumble and the only stability that came in his life was his son, who despite everything that happened, followed the same routine he had always followed. As soon as he woke up, he wanted to go play with his toys. He was a bit of a fussy eater and always put up a fight to sit down and eat at any meal unless sweets were promised as a reinforcer. He loved bath time and it was the only way to really put him down for a nap but of course, one had to fight Harry out of the tub first.

Everything surrounding Harry from the time of his birth was chaotic, yet James and Lily had still tried to make it work that he grew up as normal as he possibly could. Even with Lily gone, James still wanted to keep that for Harry.

As Harry stirred that morning, he wore a smile on his face, a sign that he had experienced only good dreams after suffering from the nightmare.

"Good morning," James grinned as he ran his hand over Harry's hair, letting out a small laugh as it poked right back up in every direction possible. "Did you sleep well?"

"Sleep," Harry repeated before looking around, "no more sleep. Go play?"

"Not so fast," James told him wrapping his arms around the squirming child to prevent him from running off. "You'll do plenty of playing today at the park with Uncle Sirius, but first you need to have some breakfast. You have to be somewhat hungry."

"No."

"Harry-"

"No."

It seemed Harry was also entering the phase where his favourite word had quickly become "no" for an answer to everything. The father and son spent a great deal of time arguing back and forth in a playful manner until Harry's face suddenly became blank for a moment.

"Harry?" James gave him an odd look until he recognised the facial expression. "Harry, don't you dare! You're not in a nappy anymore!"

Jumping up from the bed, James carried Harry out of his room, under his arms and brought him to the small potty where the two had been battling out potty training. Harry seemed to get the hang of it, but there were still accidents to be had. As soon as James set the boy down on the small potty, Harry beamed up at him as he relieved himself, leaving James to sigh in relief that he had made it in time.

"Others may only know you as the Boy-Who-Lived, but they will soon learn you by the title of Harry the Handful."

Harry clapped his hands together, letting out a laugh along with a "graceful" toot to accompany it.

"ARGH! Harry, that's foul!" James covered his nose and mouth, careful not to inhale the toxic fumes that his son released in those moments. "Go ahead and laugh now, but just wait until you bring home the first pretty girl that you have an interest in. I'll have so many stories for her that you'll be permanently red by the end of it all. Goodness, it's bad enough to gag a maggot in here!"