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Neon Moon
chapter nineteen

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❛ so bury me at sea.
(let's pretend it's all a bad dream). ❜
— The Bastards, The Vultures, The Wolves, The Wonder Years

                    THE WORLD WAS SILENT. There wasn't any hissing, growling, or shrieking. There wasn't any dripping from the ceiling or the rough inhales from her or anyone around her. It was silent, intensely silent.

          She cracked her eyes open, a bright light blinding her for a moment. The yellow ray dimmed as a silhouette stood before her. "You're not supposed to be here," a familiar voice sighed. Gingerly, she sat up from her place on what felt to be a bed of plush grass. Her eyes fluttered open and she blinked against the harsh light a few times, allowing her vision to focus.

Standing before her was Seth. His clothes were clean and neatly pressed, his skin void of blemishes. He looked just the same as before at the motel, when they were standing off. "Seth," she exhaled, her shoulders relaxing. The edge of his mouth twitched upward. "Hey, beautiful."

          He knelt before her and took her hand between his. Their fingers laced together seconds after, their palms engaging in a tender kiss. "Where are we?" she asked. Below their feet was green, plush grass. It tickled her ankles with tiny touches. The world around them was bright, with a blue sky and luscious clouds. Seth looked up, the sun casting a halo effect around his silhouette. "Nowhere good," he answered.

          She opened her mouth to argue. How could such a beautiful place be bad? They were together, safe and sound. He looked back toward the brunette, his free hand coming to caress the underside of her jaw. His touch was featherlike, too much like a ghost. It was as if he wasn't actually there. "It can't be so bad," she finally whispered, leaning into his touch to really feel him.

          A soft sigh left his nose. His thumb hooked itself against her bottom lip, pressing into the plump flesh. "It's not real," he replied, his tone gentle. The very tip of his finger grazed her teeth. Her brows furrowed. "Kate needs you right now, Mari. I need you. Remember?" She pushed his hand away, clutching onto it like a vice.

          Images of Kate in the alter room flashed in the forefront of her mind. Tanner, his arm wound tight around her throat. Tanner with his bloodthirsty grin. "That bastard," she mumbled, squeezing her eyes closed. "I should have known. He's always been a creep."

          "Yeah," Seth agreed, the corners of his mouth lifting into an amusing smile. "Yeah, he's a huge creep." He dropped his eyes onto their conjoined hands. His thumb ran over the back of her hand gently. "Seth..." She released one hand and tipped his head up to meet his eyes. They were sparkling. "Are you okay?"

He freed his hands from hers and placed them on either side of her head. He took in her eyes, her nose, her mouth. He memorized every nook and cranny of her face. "I'm okay," he answered lowly. "I just... I don't want you to go."

His forehead pressed against hers in a gentle kiss. Her skin prickled with gooseflesh. "But you have to." Their noses bumped together. A single, crystalline tear tore down his face. "You need to wake up. Marisol, you have to wake up!"

A surge of air entered her lungs in a sharp, painful gasp. Her eyes blinked and the light was gone. Seth was gone. "We need to go. Marisol," Kate cried out, her hands clutching the woman's arms with an iron vice. She sat up, her head spinning, with a jolt. "Tanner," she exhaled.

"He's dead," Gonzalez stated. Her head snapped toward the Ranger, a low hiss seething past her teeth. He took ahold of her arm and helped Kate lift her to her feet. "Are you alright?" he asked, and the sincerity made her stomach lurch. "Dizzy," she replied. "But I'm okay."

One arm was thrown over Kate's shoulder, the other held within a tight fist. Curiously, she looked over the young girl's head to see Tanner laying there. Blood pooled beneath him, his weapon abandoned. "Wait," she blurted out. "His sword. Get his sword." Gonzalez gaped at the woman, but did as was asked. He left the two to take his weapon, handing it off to Marisol. "In case the fucker decides not to die," she muttered.

"Marisol," Kate called out to the older girl. "Marisol, they found Scott." Her eyes were alight with hope once more. A smile crawled across the brunette's face. "Good," she exhaled heavily. The dull thudding in the back of her head was growing annoying. "I'm glad."

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          Blood loss is a bitch. Marisol decided that while Freddie and Kate helped her through the maze. Her vision was wonky. Her breathing felt labored. She felt entirely too weak to be able to do anything without an adrenaline rush.

          Two voices carried down the hallway they trekked. One grew impossibly more aggressive, blaming someone for a loss of life. Kate slipped away from Marisol with ease, diving right into her family drama. "No, he didn't, Scott!" she exclaimed. Her breathing picked up once she met Scott face to face.

          Marisol's did too when she spotted the blood soaked boy. Her hand moved to silence her gasp. "I know the truth," Kate continued, approaching her brother. "He suffered all alone for us, Scott. Like he always does."

          His nose twitched. It was a subtle movement, but Marisol had noticed it. His eyes remained locked on his sister, a sad fog casted over them. Silently, Marisol approached Jacob. He sat on the ground, jacket torn, and blood pooling from his skin. "Jacob," she whispered. Kate turned toward her father, confusion locked between her brows.

          Kate quickly rid herself of her sweater and ripped off a long piece. "Scott, what did you do?" she asked her brother in disbelief. "I've got it," Marisol spoke up, her hands hovering over Kate's. They were shaking. She let the older woman tie off the tourniquet. "Come on, Pastor, let's get you on your feet," Gonzalez then said.

          He slipped Jacob's arm over his shoulder, the old man groaning softly. "Katey, listen to me," he began, but the young girl wouldn't hear it. She tucked her hair behind her ears frantically. If she had any tears left to cry, she'd be doing so just then. "No, Daddy, stop. You're hurt," she attempted to silence him. "We've got to keep moving."

          "Keep moving," Scott echoed, his voice breaking. "Where do you want to go? You want to go back to Bethel?" Marisol finished off the tourniquet, silent apologies falling from her lips as he winced at the pressure. "We came here to find a new path, and look, we've found it. Here it is! This is it!"

          "What is, Scott?" Kate's voice lowered drastically. Disappointment oozed from her tone. Marisol frowned. They had changed so much from when they were in the RV. "You gonna turn us all into monsters?" she asked, advancing on the boy. "You gonna turn me into a monster? Is that what you're gonna do? You gonna turn me into a monster like you?!"

          Finally, all of the emotions she had been bottling up erupted. She hit against his chest, screamed in his face. Marisol was quick to slide in behind her, her arms wrapping around the girl's waist. "Kate!" Jacob pleaded with his daughter. She kicked at him as Marisol pulled her away, holding her breath. "Kate, don't!"

          "Right," Scott said. "No, I get it! I get it!" Jacob's heart was cracking wide open. Seeing his kids fall apart like this stirred up a sick feeling in his stomach. "Scott, no."

          "No, its fine. You guys deserve each other." Kate shoved against Marisol, breaking out of the woman's grasp as Scott stormed off. She fixed her tank top with resentment. "Katey, you listen to me—"

          She turned to her father with broken eyes. "No," she replied. "No, I won't let him near us."

"If he's gonna survive, he needs you," Jacob argued. "You need each other." Marisol sucked in a breath. A part of that speech felt all too familiar. The young girl released a shaky breath. "Yeah, and what about you?" she asked.

Jacob didn't have an answer. It was clear to Marisol and Freddie that Jacob already made a decision on where he stands. "Your brother's right," Gonzalez spoke up. "You can't go back to Bethel. And I don't think your dad can go back, either."

She sniffed. Everything had gone down hill all too fast. It felt like they were seconds from reaching the top of the mountain when there was a rockslide, wiping all of them out. All of their progress in surviving was in vain. "You know how this has to end," Jacob whispered.

It seemed her body still had just enough liquid in it for a tear to escape her twitching eyes. Marisol wanted to embrace her. She wanted to embrace her and shield her away from the inevitable. "No," Kate argued, denying it all. "We're gonna keep moving, okay? Right, Marisol?"

She spun around to face the ex-agent with expectant eyes. "We're gonna keep moving... Right?" Marisol glanced toward the others over Kate's head. "Yeah," she exhaled, cursing herself for giving in so quickly. "Yeah, we'll keep moving."

Jacob frowned. This would only get harder the longer its dragged out. He knew this. Freddie knew this. And Marisol knew this too. But she wasn't ready to break Kate's heart. She wasn't ready to lose Jacob yet. She wasn't ready to give up without a fight. Not yet.

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          The markings were coming up more frequently. Though she had no idea what they meant, Marisol painted it up as a good sign. They were getting close. Kate ran her hand over a red marking, brows pinched, heart thumping noisily in her chest. "If this is where those things get made," she whispered, peering down a dark path, "maybe they can get unmade."

          She glanced toward her father limping behind her. His arm was cradled to his chest. "You really can't see it," Jacob sighed. Kate shook her head. "See what?" Marisol paused in her hunt for the exit. "Our life, the future. You really can't see us being happy again."

          His words came off more as a statement than a question. He was beginning to sweat, the perspiration collecting at his hairline. "I believe its possible," Kate argued. And it appeared that she truly did, maybe. Much like Marisol when she was a teenager. She had that light in her eyes and that fire deep down in her gut.

          Guilt sat in Marisol's stomach like a bag of stones. She swallowed painfully around the knowing lump growing in her throat. "You believe," Jacob continued. "That's the trick, isn't it?" His feet slid over the rough ground, making so much noise. His breathing echoed in their ears.

          He paused, exhaling a sigh from deep in his chest. "What are you doing?" Kate asked, fear singing her words. "We can't stop." But they were. Marisol turned away from the man, emotions clogging up her throat and her chest like a bad pipe. "I'm sorry, Katey-Kakes," Jacob said.

          "No, come on. Come on."

          "I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to test your faith," Jacob spoke gently. His words were breathy and short. "I might even destroy it." Her skin suddenly grew cold. Marisol felt sick. "This whole future that you see..." He shuffled with his pocket, taking out a stake he had stashed away. Kate released a breathy gasp. "... it cannot be."

          The stake was held between them as Jacob watched his daughter with expectant eyes. "No. No!" she hissed, slapping the wooden spike away. "No, I..."

          "Tell her... Marisol," he exhaled, sliding down the wall. "Daddy, you get up! Get up, now!" The brunette nodded her head despite the pain that resonated at the base of her skull. Her teary eyes trained onto Kate. "Marisol, help me," she cried out. The older woman didn't move. She only watched with sad eyes. "Dad! Get up! No, get up. Help me, please, Ranger Gonzalez–"

          Her cries silenced her pleas. Her father had given up. The man she had expected to fight the hardest had lost every bit of fight in him. And she wasn't going to take it. She wiped at her eyes, staring down her father with such ferocity that it made him weak. It made his thoughts jumble. But he held his ground. "Kid, all I can tell you is what I've learned on the job," Freddie said, his eyes cutting toward Marisol. "Day in and day out. People like you — the victim — there's only one thing that's really important to them."

"Closure," Marisol croaked out. She had never meant to build a bond with these people. She had hoped, in the beginning, that she'd save their lives and that would be the end of it. And yet there she stood, on the verge of tears over an old man's inevitable death. "You don't want to see me turn into a demon from hell... and I don't want to be one," Jacob stated matter-of-factly.

"I won't do it," Kate replied seriously. He peered up at her, his eyes swimming with pain and sadness. He had never meant for their family trip to go so wrong. "You have to," he told her, his voice firm. Kate shook her head. Marisol could see Jacob in her now. "I'm not gonna learn how to survive with it. Scott's young. He's not set in his ways, but... I cannot abide killing another human being."

"No, you're just being selfish!" Kate argued. Her face twisted up. "You're so selfish. You just want to go to heaven... so you can be with Mama." She was taking gasping breaths now, panic flooding her senses. Jacob chuckled, broken. "I'm not so sure she's gonna be there," he said. Kate whimpered. "Your mama... she tried to kill herself, and in the eyes of the Lord, that's a sin."

Kate took a gasping breath, lowering herself to her father's level. Her eyes sparkled with tears in the flames' light. "You can't believe in– in a God that would be that cruel," she breathed out. "God, you can't believe that. He doesn't live on the pages of some book."

          "Now, you hold on a second," Jacob warned the girl, but she didn't stop. "No, he doesn't. He's inside each and every one of us." Jacob relaxed against the wall behind him as Kate's words stewed in each of their minds. Slowly, a smile tugged at his dry mouth. His tear stained cheeks gave way to the pride he suddenly felt. "This whole trip's been about... trying to find Him. Who knew I'd find Him in the walls of this pagan temple... and in my baby girl's eyes?"

          She hadn't noticed the tears falling over her face. She hadn't noticed the stuttering in her breaths. She shouldn't have been reacting so vividly to this family's drama, but her heart was i it. Jacob, despite the animosity at first had become her friend. She cared for him and his kids like they were family. In a cruel way, Jacob reminded her a lot of her own father. Tiredly, Jacob extended the stake back toward his daughter, now with contentment in his eyes. "Send me home," he asked of her.

          Kate took the stake in her hand. The wood bit at her skin. Marisol took a ginger step forward, her shoulders squared. "It's okay, Kate," she told the girl. Their eyes met for a brief moment, a sense of relief washing over the young girl's frame. She looked back at her father, matching his gentle smile. She crawled onto her knees, the point of the stake pressing to Jacob's chest. Her breathing evened out as her fingers danced along the spike to get a good grip. Pride was a feeling Jacob had refused to feel before. Pride was the downfall of many men, including the Devil himself. But in that moment, he allowed himself to sin one last time. He allowed himself to taste the sweet nectar of pride as his daughter readied herself for the change to come.

          "I love you, Katey-Kakes," he whispered. "I love you." The tip bit into his skin with a sickeningly sweet pain. Kate met his eyes, cheek trembling as she fought the sadness from her face. "Daddy," she exhaled in a quick breath. "I love you, too." Without another word, she thrusted the stake through his chest. It ripped through his skin, eliciting a groan from the old man. Marisol jumped at the swift action, her hand moving to muffle her gasp. Her face finally crumpled, her breaths trembling.

          Jacob was gone.

rumi says . . .
we're so close to the finish line, y'all.
I can almost taste it.

this chapter was really hard to write. this moment,
for kate, really destroyed me. and as we were
getting closer and closer, i kept logging off be i
didn't want to write it. but it had to be done.

i'm so ready for mariseth to reunite.

how was the chapter?
what was your favorite part?

i hope you guys enjoyed it!
feedback is seriously appreciated!