I Want

Dedicated to a fanfic writer who introduced me to another figure skater, and above all, a good friend.

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"Did you upset someone in your last life?"

Olivia looked up curiously at Dan, currently squatting on the ground after having had another near-death experience.

However, this time it was truly her fault. She should have been paying more attention.

"Then, crosswalks must have it against you or something because this is the second time I catch you..."

"Dan?"

At this, Dan's breath caught.

"Dan Geum, right?"

"Yes," he breathed, before choking from the act of holding his breath that long.

She chuckled. "You're funny."

"I try to be. Sometimes it doesn't come across."

Olivia smiled. "I can definitely see why."

"What?"

"Sometimes you tend to offend someone with your remarks, don't you?"

He stared curiously at her. "How did you know?"

She tipped her head, and chortled. "Maybe, I didn't."

"And I just confirmed it?"

"Maybe," she quipped.

Dan rubbed the back of his neck nervously, remembering Steven's vague threats.

"Is something troubling you?"

"Other than our impending doom?"

"Yep."

"Your cousin...he sorta..."

"Warned you off?"

"Now, you have to tell me. Are you psychic?"

"He's always been in the spotlight starting from he was a kid. As a result, he kinda hates the paparazzi."

"Really? Was he a child actor or something?"

"Child prodigy. Chess champion."

"Chess?", he repeated.

"Yes. I would say former, but he's never really retired. Even though he's a chess coach now, if he claimed to be second-to-none, there are few that could say they were first."

"That good?"

"He competed in international competitions when he was ten...no nine. He was good then, and I dare say he's gotten better since then."

"And he hates reporters?"

"Since he plays chess, he views life as a chess game."

"Which results in him believing everyone is lying to him...", he reasoned.

"Exactly."

"Wow. So chess coach, and you live with him?"

"For now. When I was abroad before, he would let me stay with him and support me even while my parents stayed in the States."

"Because you studied at Oberlin Conservatory, right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

Dan looked around, and scoffed in disbelief. "How come you recognize me now...out of all the times we've met?"

Olivia squirmed in her seat and replied, "Recently, I've been harder at faces than before."

"This time, you remembered me even without the Korean word though."

"Is 'though' your favorite word?"

"It is underrated," he admitted, chuckling at her unusual question.

"Yeah...", she muttered, trying to push a journal that had fallen out of her purse during the near-accident farther away from reach.

"What's this?", he inquired after spotting it. He picked it up, flipped to a random entry and saw his name. "Dan-a friend?"

Why was he mentioned on that page? he wondered.

"Thanks, I'm touched," he teased, her face now flushed with embarrassment.

"That's private!" She ripped his hands away from her journal and pressed it to her chest.

"Sorry."

"Say it in Korean," she quipped, facing away from him. Onlookers staring at them, and possibly wondering what they were doing sprawled out in the sidewalk.

Gently tapping her shoulder, he motioned to sit on a nearby bench, so she obliged.

He continued when seated, "I thought I taught you the..."

"Formal way, please."

"You're doing this on purpose now," he mused.

"Maybe."

"Is that your favorite word then?"

"Still haven't heard the magic word," she said with a smile.

"미안해요"

"미안해요", she echoed after him.

"We cool now?", he joked, earning a light-hearted smack, and ducking before it landed.

"It's a daily journal by the way-not a diary. Someone once told me it was good resource to reflect on your actions in the day," she confessed.

Dan asked, "Does it work?"

"Maybe."

He smiled back at her, but noticed the sun setting behind them.

"It's getting late."

"I'm aware."

"Aren't you gonna get in trouble with your cousin?"

"He was supposed to leave me alone today with today's excursion. Anyways, I texted him I was fine."

"That appeased his wrath?"

"Yes, it did. I am an independent woman after all."

"Why stay in this district so late?"

"Look over there." She pointed to a local restaurant in their proximity.

"Yes?"

Growing frustrated, she moved her fingers, and signaled to the sign in front.

"The neon sign? What about it?"

"It's the real reason I came here," she said, slumping down to the ground and crossing her arms as the evening got chillier.

"Are you sure you don't mean the restaurant?"

"No silly. I don't like this district this much. It's overpriced, and there's only a few places I like that don't shove their agenda in my face."

"Then why come here?"

"Like I said, the neon signs everywhere."

"Why do you like neon so much?"

"Neon can't react with stuff-it's innate and it's always glowing that wonderful orange light no matter what happens."

He made sure to catch her eyes as she continued, "It's a constant in a world that seems to change every day for me. Never recalling what I ate for breakfast yesterday gets old real quick," she joked.

Dan added, "But the neon lights seem to calm you down."

"More than that, they're...without them, I feel like I'm breathing with no air. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it does," he breathed.

When he had first moved to the mainland US, he had been terrified.

In a new world...seemingly all alone. Culture shock hit him, of course.

The worst part was the utter loneliness a crowded metropolis could inspire.

Especially when during his first years, he had spent it in New York with his grandma.

What got him through all the times that he felt down, or his parents clamored for him to come back to his 'real' family, was the hope that one day he would feel at home here.

Until one day, a college professor, while he was still in undergraduate studies, told him plainly,

"Home is where you make it."

Everyone needed their way to cope with change in an inconsistent world.

He admired hers and wished he hadn't spent so much time stuck inside his head the first several years here.

Dan leaned in closer, having forgotten he had a class that day. He figured that as he was a generally good student, he would be fine plus the professor had decided to host a panel anyways. Notes from that would be easy to acquire.

As she spread her arms out to the stars, Dan thought about his priorities in life.

Did he really spend time on the things that most mattered to him?

The time he spent with Olivia...now that was precious.

It brought a genuine smile to his face, something that could rarely be achieved.

Just like Neon, a rare element on Earth.


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Vocab notes: (I promise I'm not making y'all learn Korean. I'm not fluent in it myself, and this came as a surprise to me too when the characters started doing this too.)

미안해요 (mianhaeyo)- Formal Polite way of saying sorry

Once again, 죄송합니다 (joisonghapnida)-an informal way of saying sorry

Author's note: Fun fact: Out of all the would-be 'couples' I've written, Olivia and Dan rank among the easiest for me to write. (their dynamic and banter, specifically)

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