Chapter 5

Hiccup groaned as the light from the window hit him in the face. He was sure he'd drawn the curtains last night so he squinted at the clock on the dresser while absentmindedly patting Astrid's side of the bed. It was cold so she must have already been up for a while. The clock read 11:43 AM which caused him to bolt up, getting his legs tangled in the sheets and promptly sent tumbling down from the side of the bed. "Ouch," Hiccup groaned as he was glad his wife wasn't here to see this. She'd probably never let him forget it.

Hiccup managed to untangle himself while still groggy and made his way to the attached bathroom so he could get ready for the day. He hit the shower and when he came out of it wiped the large mirror on the wall. The steam from the shower had formed condensation on it and Hiccup leaned forward a bit. He checked his beard and frowned, it was getting a bit wild so he picked up the shaving cream. This might give his wife a surprise Hiccup thought as he set to work.

As Hiccup went downstairs after exiting the bathroom and getting dressed for the day he smirked. It had been a while since Astrid saw him without the beard. He heard the kids playing loudly in the living room and saw his wife sitting at the kitchen table, engrossed in whatever was on her tablet. He leaned down in front of her and uttered "Hiya babe," This caused Astrid to look up. Her eyes widened and she dropped the tablet on the table and before Hiccup could lean in and kiss her she jumped him while happily screaming "YOU FINALLY GOT RID OF THAT FACE BEAVER!"

"Huh... whaaaa...." Hiccup was perplexed. Astrid had told him she didn't particularly like the beard but she wouldn't ask him to shave it. The other comment that followed next really threw him for a loop. "Thank Thor! Now I don't have to keep the harpies at bay!"

Hiccup was more confused than ever as Astrid peppered him with kisses. When she finally explained it was even more confusing. "Those cougars from the neighbourhood were eyeing you like a piece of lamb for the slaughter. It didn't help that they were talking about your beard making you sexier! Now I don't have to beat them back with my shoes anymore!" Astrid said with a smirk as she patted Hiccup's cheek.

Hiccup sputtered as his wife explained the inner workings of the female mind to him while pouring him some coffee. Apparently he was a turn-on for older women when he had a beard. That was why she had been glowering at the group of women who looked like they had just gotten out of a hair salon.

Hiccup was going to say something when Nuffink padded into the room shouting "MOMMY! ZEPHY TOOK MY BEAR!" The boy stopped when seeing his dad but then he looked at Hiccup and screamed which caused Zephyr to also come take a look at what the commotion was.

"Wow," Zephyr said as she saw her father's shaven face. "You look...... less hairy,"

"Thank you?" Hiccup said but it sounded more like a question since he didn't know if his daughter thought it to be a good thing or a bad thing.

"Daddy's face hair ran away!" Nuffink exclaimed while pointing.

"No it didn't you doofus. He just shaved it," Zephyr rolled her eyes.

"But why?" Nuffink asked and both Hiccup and Astrid groaned. Once Nuffink started asking why it was like 100 questions.

"I don't know," Zephyr groaned as well. "I'm just going to go watch the new neighbours."

"What new neighbours?" Hiccup questioned and Zephyr just pointed towards the living room window that she had been watching out of. Hiccup walked over and raised his brows as he saw a moving van parked across the street. They were unloading a lot of furniture.

"They've been there for..... 40 minutes or so," Astrid stated as she looked at her tablet clock before also looking out the window and at the second house that was across from them. "Their arrival caused Mrs. Ortiz to sputter and stomp back inside. I like them already."

"Let me guess, you want to do the neighbourly thing and go greet them?" Hiccup questioned as he followed his wife back into the other room. "So am I making casserole or cupcakes?"

"How about we just bring them wine." Astrid suggested. "I'm pretty sure they'll need it living next to that woman."

"When are you and Mrs. Ortiz going to settle your feud?" Hiccup groaned. "You know the twins that run the local pub have a betting pool going about when one of you will maim the other. It's even on the big chalkboard!"

"When she gets her head out of her arse," Astrid hissed while Hiccup took a sip of his coffee. He grimaced because it was cold now. "Did you know at the last PTA meeting she had the gall to tell me that I'm setting a bad example for the students by dressing in skirts above my knees! She inferred that someone of my age should do something about that."

"Oh Thor," Hiccup groaned.

"I told her rather pointedly that someone of her age should do something about those saggy breasts." Astrid muttered which caused Hiccup to nearly choke.

After a quick breakfast Hiccup decided that he'd take the children to the supermarket to get some groceries. Nuffink however didn't want to go. The boy wanted to stay with Astrid who was currently enjoying her saturday while watching some talk show. Zephyr was much more enthusiastic as she asked her dad if she could get a toy.

"Just one," Hiccup said, which had the girl whooping. She practically raced towards the car door as Hiccup kissed Astrid on the cheek while ruffling Nuffink's hair. His wife had given him a small list of things she needed which included bleach and vinegar. Hiccup guessed that she would try to un-pink the clothes after he heard about this morning's fiasco.

Hiccup started the car when Zephyr was safely strapped into the backseat. They left the driveway and headed for the supermarket that was approximately ten minutes away. The drive was rather quiet as Zephyr was playing on her phone and they got there in no time at all. Hiccup however cursed silently when he couldn't find a spot that was close so they ended up parking all the way near the end.

Zephyr held Hiccup's hand as they entered the supermarket and she kept close Hiccup grabbed a cart. They went to the produce aisle first where Hiccup got some carrots and onions. Zephyr made a face at the carrots and was later eyeing the bell peppers.

"Daddy why are they different colors?" She asked while pointing towards the green, yellow and red bell peppers.

"It's how ripe they are," Hiccup explained but Zephyr just frowned more. "The green are less ripe and aren't as healthy as the red ones but they stay good longer. The red are healthier but don't stay good for long."

"Uhm..... okay," Zephyr said as she watched her dad pick some out.

The cart was steadily filling up as they finally neared the kids section. Zephyr happily went exploring while Hiccup kept an eye on her. "One toy!" He told her again. It was best to be firm because once his daughter broke out the 'eyes' it was hard not to cave in. He had to stay strong, in a few years he might be immune to those eyes.

Zephyr came back with a large pack of Hot wheels miniature cars and Hiccup had to mentally laugh. There were about twelve cars in the pack and technically it still counted as one toy.

They made it to the frozen section at last as Hiccup wanted to pick up some salmon for tonight's dinner. As he was placing the frozen salmon fillets in the cart something caught his eye. There seemed to be a sale on lobster tails and shrimp. It was the last two containers, each having two tails in them, and as he reached for them another hand also grabbed them. Hiccup looked up to see a red-headed man blink at him in confusion. It seemed neither had noticed the other going for the grab as they were so enticed by the sale. Berk was landlocked so lobster was a bit of a luxury.

"50-50?" The red-head asked and Hiccup nodded. Each of the men ended up with a container of tails and the duo struck up a conversation.

"Dagur," The man introduced. "I'm new here and didn't know that lobster went that fast. The other supermarket was sold out already,"

"Hiccup," he answered back as he took the offered hand "Yeah, this isn't Maine. They are pretty rare here."

"Funny you should say that. My family and I recently moved from Maine." The red-head joked and then gestured towards a red-headed teenage girl who was more focussed on her phone but still trailing along behind him. "I was sent out to get provisions lest I strangle our neighbour."

Something clicked in Hiccup's head and then he asked "Older woman about this tall?" He gestured towards his shoulder "Brunette, curly hair, busybody with a holier-than-thou attitude with a husband that's actually pretty nice and people wonder how they even got together?"

"I don't know about the husband but the woman's description seems spot on," Dagur stated. "She's that infamous?"

"I'm her neighbour from across the street and I think you're mine as well," Hiccup confessed which caused Dagur to perk up somewhat. He guessed the man hadn't made any friends yet. "This is my daughter Zephyr," Hiccup introduced as well.

"Maddie come say hi to our neighbours!" Dagur turned to his daughter who was still busy texting.

"I'm busy dad!"

"Madeline Deranged you get your butt over here this instant!" The red-head uttered. Hiccup had a feeling that there were some interesting times ahead.