Chapter 3

"And then..... And then daddy said...." Zephyr babbled happily at dinner which consisted of spaghetti and meatballs with copious amounts of mozzarella. Hiccup had whipped up something quick for tonight since he had to catch up on some work after getting home with the kids and Astrid was groaning and kicking off her heels dramatically when she came through the door.

Their daughter was retelling the office visit while a meatball was speared on her fork. She was waving the utensil around like a sword and Hiccup grimaced. The worst-case scenario was that that meatball flew off the fork and landed someplace it shouldn't, like Astrid's new drapes or the carpet.... Or someone's hair. Oh, he'd never hear the end of it then.

"Eat your food Zephyr," Astrid told her as she too seemed to be eyeing the rebellious meatball and Hiccup sighed in relief that he didn't have to clean up pasta stains again. Those were hard to get out of good carpeting.

"Nuff you've been quiet, how was school?" Astrid asked as she eyed her son who was being picky about his food. All of the mushrooms seemed to be pushed to one side and she frowned. Nuffink had an aversion to mushrooms ever since he saw that National geographic documentary on them.

"Was fine..." The boy mumbled before biting into a meatball. Normally Nuffink was a ball of energy and loved telling her all about his day so Astrid frowned.

"Honey, did something happen?" Astrid asked while still sporting the frown.

"No, but my teacher wants to talk to you," Nuffink admitted and then sighed. "She didn't listen when I said no,"

"Said no to what honey bunches?" Astrid then asked as she and Hiccup shared a worried look.

"She says she's going to ask the Principal if I can skip a grade," The boy finally explained.

"But that's great to hear sweetie. It means you're very smart," Astrid looked happy but Nuffink didn't, Hiccup noted.

"But I don't wanna!" Nuffink near whined. "I don't wanna skip a grade!"

"Why?" Hiccup asked as he looked at his son while Zephyr rolled her eyes at her brother for whining.

"I just don't wanna!" The boy said nothing to explain this even when Astrid asked afterwards. Dinner was mostly silent after that and the kids went to play a bit before they had to go to bed.

Astrid was doing the dishes while Hiccup searched for a show they could watch on Netflix that night when she was reminded of something. "Hiccup, we got some mail today,"

"Huh?" Hiccup popped back into the kitchen as Astrid told him to look next to her purse which was on the smaller sofa in the living room.

"I completely forgot about it. It was in our mailbox when I got home," She added as Hiccup opened up the official-looking letter.

"It's them again," He told Astrid and frowned. The mailman came in the mornings and when he came back with the kids there was no mail so it must have been placed there afterwards.

"The HOA again?" Astrid asked as she hadn't read it yet.

"Yup," Hiccup answered. "You'd think they would stop after my last email to them explaining it."

"So what's it about this time?" Astrid asked as she put the last dish on the drying rack. "They've already nitpicked at the yard and fence and our cars in the driveway."

"It's a list of fines," Hiccup groaned as he handed the letter to Astrid. "I'll email them again tomorrow. You'd think they'd have better administration to rectify this."

"This situation shouldn't even need rectifying. It shouldn't have happened in the first place. I mean just look at this," Astrid smacked the letter with the back of her palm to emphasize the ludicrous fines. "Not approved exterior house color, visible trash cans..... On thrash day!, oh this one is a doozy," She muttered "Postal box not having the right dimensions, non-approved plants around the house....... Did they really just criticize my Begonias!" Hiccup took a step back as his wife looked rather upset now. Her look was usually followed by her murdering something.... Preferably the punching bag in the basement gym.

Astrid came to the end of the letter or rather list and her eyes widened. "Honey, get my axe out of the linen closet," Hiccup gulped as Astrid didn't just look mad anymore, she looked downright furious.

"Astrid, maybe you need to calm down. What could be so bad?"

"They fined our children for playing outside!" Astrid growled. "How dare those mulch-licking-scum-buckets! I'll teach them a lesson! If they so much as look at my babies wrong!" Astrid was heaving now while Hiccup read the part she had pointed to in her rant and indeed, there was an actual fine there about the kids playing on either the sidewalk or in the yard where the tire swing was. The swing itself was also labeled as not-approved.

The letter sort of put a damper on their plans for the night and Astrid went to bed muttering about mulch-buckets and addle minded HOA spies. She was also not happy that Hiccup confiscated the axe she had been sharpening after furiously throwing down the letter on the kitchen table. At least Hiccup promised to email and call them this time as she would just end up screaming profanities at them.

Come morning the family of four was in a hurry. Nuffink hadn't wanted to get up and was imitating a starfish on his bed after Hiccup yanked the covers away, Zephyr was having a bad hair day and couldn't decide on which scrunchy to wear. While Hiccup was getting the kids ready he heard his wife curse as she saw that the heel of her shoe had broken. This caused another delay as Astrid got a new pair of shoes but those shoes didn't match her business attire, which led to a change of clothes. The kids were late and missed the bus, Astrid was late and Hiccup hadn't packed the lunches yet. It was like Murphy's law was out to get them and on top of that they ran out of cereal.

Hectic didn't even describe it as Hiccup piled everyone into his SUV. Astrid had been adamant that she could just drive to work herself but she was silenced when Hiccup stuck a microwaved waffle in her mouth. Zephyr laughed at the affronted look her mom gave her dad and she quickly checked her bag for all her school supplies before they left the driveway. Hectic days like this meant that Hiccup was not turning the car around.

As the Haddock's left the driveway Hiccup noted that Mrs. Ortiz was once again spying on them from her window like the nosey neighbour she was. He paid her no more mind as he told the kids to buckle up. Astrid was eating the waffle with one hand while rifling through her purse as they got on the highway. She handed each of the kids lunch money and told them in no uncertain terms to not spend it on candy. They had enough at home.

"Hiccup watch out for that car in the next lane," Astrid said and her husband nodded. She was a bit of a backseat driver but to be fair Hiccup was skirting along the speed limit right now. "I'm not looking forward to today," She muttered..

"Why is that?" Hiccup asked as he checked the rearview mirror to check the traffic and to see if the kids were behaving. Nuffink was half asleep while Zephyr was playing a game, probably Flappy bird, on the phone he'd gotten her during the summer. It wasn't an expensive smartphone but Zephyr seemed to love it as it was her first.

"You know I'm up for a promotion at work but so is another coworker of mine," Astrid sighed. "And frankly, he's a douche. I'm convinced he stole one of my ideas."

"Oh?" Hiccup asked as he took the next exit.

"The meeting yesterday was to pitch ideas and ours were near identical." Astrid frowned. "I'd have been a shoe in for the promotion if not for that. Now the director wants us to do another project. Best idea gets the promotion."

"I'm pretty sure you'll win it." Hiccup said as they were nearing the Elementary school.

"I know I can get the job. I just want to make sure that this guy doesn't try anything." Astrid huffed. "You know he started later than me and the first thing he said when we met was asking me to get him a cup of coffee before the meeting started. He even called me sweet thing." She rolled her eyes "I should have reported him to HR but I guess I thought he might just be nervous you know. First few weeks on the job. Heck, I was a nervous wreck when I started. Remember I spilled tea on my manager's shirt then, so I gave the benefit of the doubt."

The kids hopped out and Astrid and Hiccup waved at them as they rushed inside just as the bell rang. They left the school soon after and Astrid was telling Hiccup about the advertising project she had to do for the promotion.

"Astrid are you serious?" Hiccup's eyes widened when he heard the name brand.

"Oh yeah," Astrid smirked, "it's for their new line of running shoes."

Hiccup noted that his wife looked like the cat who got the cream all through the ride to her office. She was late but was rather chipper as she had told Hiccup all about her ideas for the commercial. He'd responded back with what he thought would be realistic and what not and by the time Astrid arrived at her destination she had a whole lot to plan.

"Hiccup are you alright with picking me up later?" Astrid asked. It was Thursday and she got off early at work on Thursdays, mainly to take Zephyr to ballet class. Hiccup had late skype meetings on Thursdays with clients in China ever since his new project took off so he couldn't always bring Zephyr and watch Nuffink during that time.

"Yeah, I'm going to visit mom and dad today before doing some grocery shopping." Hiccup told her. "Do you want me to take that shoe of yours to the shoemaker?"

Astrid shook her head. Hiccup was a good stay at home dad but even he could get overworked. She would take the shoe herself on the weekend along with the kids so he could have some rest.

Around three o'clock Hiccup picked up the kids and Astrid. The SUV was ladened with groceries and Zephyr made a face as the frozen broccoli that was sticking out of one of the bags.

"I saw that!" Hiccup said.

"Dad, why did you buy broccoli!" Zephyr groaned. "I like the frozen peas better."

"We are not having the broccoli-peas discussion again!" Hiccup admonished. "Peas don't work well in Alfredo sauce anyways."

Zephyr huffed but said nothing else. She'd rather eat her dad's cooking than her mom's any day even if it contained broccoli.

"Zephyr grab your ballet bag when we get home. I want to drop you off a little bit early." Astrid told her as they were turning the corner into the cul de sac.

"You just don't want to get into it with Angela's mom," Zephyr huffed.

"I did not get into it with Angela's mom," Astrid replied while Hiccup gave her a look. This was news to him. "We just had a difference in opinion."

They got closer to their house and Astrid frowned at the pick up that was parked in front of their driveway. "What the...." She asked and then stuck her head out the window to get a better look as Hiccup parked on the street.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Astrid exclaimed as she saw several men in her yard working on the lawn. Her begonias were being dug up and their postbox had been sawed off its post.

"Stay here," Astrid told her kids as she stepped out of the car. Hiccup followed after her as he watched his wife march up to the men.

"JUST WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" Astrid asked as her eyes narrowed. "You lot have no right to be here! I want everything back the way it was originally!"

Zephyr and Nuffink were watching out the car window as their mother yelled at the smarmy man that had approached her. "I don't think she likes him." Nuffink commented. He couldn't understand all that was happening but he did see the man shrink back.

"Gee, ya think?" Zephyr said as she noticed her mother getting more and more agitated while her father tried to calm her down. It didn't work as expected and she saw her mom pick up the sawed-off postbox before swinging it at the man.

"WE'RE NOT EVEN PART OF YOUR DAMN HOA!" Astrid could be heard screaming as the man ducked for his life. "YOUR SUB-DIVISION ENDS BEFORE OUR PROPERTY LINE! HOW DARE YOU EVEN COME INTO OUR YARD!"

"AAAAH!" The HOA person yelled as he ducked and scrambled to avoid the woman. The work crew was looking at the whole scenario with widened eyes while Nuffink commented "Wow, mom's gone postal."

Zephyr smacked her brother on the head and muttered something about it not being the time for puns. She saw her dad try to calm mom down but he had to duck as Astrid kept swinging their mailbox.

"HONEY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THOR CALM DOWN! THE SHERIFF AND THE DEPUTIES ARE ALREADY SCARED OF YOU!" Hiccup exclaimed as Astrid chased after the man.