The three guards carried me despite of my constant kicking and screaming. They dropped me into a room which looked different than the other ones. It had a wooden door with a steel chair in the middle. They strapped my arms and legs and attached two round circular things to my temples, which were connected to a machine on a table in the corner of the tiny room. A guard counted down and then I felt a shock. They were giving me shock treatment. I cried and screamed and begged. But there was no use. They ignored me. I felt like an object, not a human. People don't treat people like this, they don't.

I can't remember how many times they shocked me that night. But I think I became unconscious because I woke up the next morning in "my room". I apologised to Rita in the morning and I begged each of the guards at night to forgive me. But they did the same to me every night for a week.

I couldn't sleep after being shocked for the 8th day. I dashed down the stairs at dawn, pushed open the Brooks Hospital doors for the second time and ran as far as I could. There was no guard behind me this time. But the alarm didn't fail, it gave it's familiar scream but that didn't stop my feet. I reached the gates but heard footsteps behind me. I tried to climb the grey, dusty gates but there was no grip, nothing for me to hold onto. I shook the cold gates with all the strength left in me and screamed as tears raced down my pink cheeks.

I felt a guard's hand on my shoulder and as a reflex I twisted his arm until I heard a crack. He screamed out in pain while another guard ran upto me and hit my leg with a baton. I yelled in return to the blow and fell to the hard ground.

I felt rough arms pick me up and place me in an uncomfortable chair which was far too familiar. I forgot all the pain in my leg as I recognised the chair and rattled my already chained arms. I begged and pleaded for forgiveness but I felt like I was speaking a language which was foreign to them since they didn't even flinch to my screams.

Shock therapy became my daily routine. It usually happened at night, before I could sleep, or shall I say become temporarily unconscious. Sometimes, the guards would surprise me and give me the shocks twice a day. I never said anything though, I was used to it. I knew that my screams would change nothing. I knew that it was worthless. I knew that I was worthless to them. They finally broke me.