Nico couldn't help but think that this was the weirdest thing he'd ever done. I mean, I'm about to try to keep a crazy cat dude from calling the police on a felon, technically, with the help of the aforementioned felon and my best friend, who I met like six weeks ago, he thought.

Regardless, he continued down the sidewalk at Will's side and tried not to feel disappointed that Brian wasn't a theif. Maybe Nico would to learn to live with him, metaphorically, of course. Hopefully.

He was pondering the horror of having to live with shady Brian (which was actually a great name for him: Shady Brian) when Will brought to their attention how weird they looked. If a neighbor looked out the window at that time, they'd have seen Zoe who was in all black and had the crazy cat man's trashy diamond cat collar around her wrist like a costume jewelry bracelet and was holding a duffel bag she'd grabbed from Shady Brian's van earlier that looked like the sort of thing a bomber would use if they were trying to, say, blow up an airport or the wall of a safe (Nico didn't doubt for one second that she'd do either of those things), Nico, who was frowning so hard about Shady Brian that his chin was beginning to hurt, and Will, who had managed to look confused, worried, and exasperated at the same time. "Uh, Zoe, maybe you should put that away?" Will gestured to the collar-turned-bracelet.

"Why bother? There's no one out here," she said, spreading her arms as if presenting the empty street to them.

"Still," Will said, wincing as a diamond caught the sunlight and reflected it into his eyes. "We never know."

"Plus, it's fucking ugly," Nico added.

"Hey, I spent like fifteen minutes stealing this piece of shit," Zoe said indignantly. "Have some courtesy."

"It only took you fifteen minutes to break in?" Nico replied incredulously.

"Nico, I think you're missing the point..." Will said.

"The alarm system is literal trash," Zoe replied. "Also, yeah, Will has a point."

Which, Nico figured, didn't mean much coming from Zoe, considering she literally committed a felony because she was bored, and Nico figured if he hadn't been hella pissed that Shady Brian wasn't actually a criminal, he might actually care about the morality of the situation but he was a teenager and made bad decisions and gave zero shits so he ignored both of them and lead the way up the stairs of the crazy cat guy's front porch.

Nico rung the doorbell and felt Will shift uncomfortably next to him. Zoe was leaning against the wall next to the door, spinning the stolen property around her index finger.

Crazy cat guy opened the door and furrowed his eyebrows at them. Nico grabbed Zoe's arm and pulled her over to stand in front of them. She had the good sense to stop playing with the cat collar and held it out to him. "Um, I came to return this."

The guy stared at her open palm for a good four seconds, then darted his own hand out quickly to take his shitty pet merchandise. "What?"

"I, um, I was the one who broke in and took the cat collar," Zoe said with a hint of pride in her voice, appearing thoroughly unapologetic.

The guy turned his gaze to Nico and Will, looking both confused and offended at the same time. "Were you two in cahoots with her?"

Who the hell uses the word "cahoots" anymore? Nico thought, while Will said "Uh, no." Nico was tempted to add that he'd never steal something that ugly, but suppressed the urge to be a smartass.

"Ahh..." Crazy cat guy didn't seem to know what to do.

"So are you gonna press charges?" Zoe asked hopefully.

"I mean..." the man said, glaring at her. "You did steal my stuff. I think I have that right."

"Aw, come on," Zoe whined. "Please? I did return it, didn't I?"

"But you still stole it in the first place..."

He had a point, but Nico didn't say that and instead blurted, "she'll mow your lawn once a week for the rest of the summer."

"What?!?" Zoe said.

"Okay, I guess..." the cat guy said, looking slightly less angry.

"I didn't agree to this," she hissed in Nico's direction.

"It's too late now," Nico argued.

Will had been talking to the guy while Zoe and Nico had been arguing. Crazy cat guy closed his front door, and Will said, laughing a bit, "Zoe, you have to come here tomorrow and mow his lawn for him."

"I hate both of you fuckers," she said, pushing past them to get to the stairs, her ponytail swinging as she descended.

"Yeah, but we probably kept you out of juvie," Will said, grinning at Nico and following her with his hands in his pockets.

Pretty much the same thing happened with Mrs. Larsen, though she commended Nico and Will on "catching this delinquent and beinging her to justice." Nico didn't think she actuaĺly cared; he'd known her vaguely for his entire life and figured she was just being dramatic. His suspicions were confirmed when Mrs. Larsen basically said she didn't give two shits since Zoe had returned everything she stole (which had been like six plates, a necklace, and part of the chandelier?), so Zoe got off without having to do any community service for Mrs. Larsen.

.

Nico decided that the best hour of his life started when Zoe walked into his kitchen and saw Bianca and Brian sitting at the kitchen table. He would never forget the look of utmost panic on Zoe's face, and the absolute confusion completely evident on Shady Brian's. Zoe froze, and started taking steps backwards, but Will was blocking the doorway, plus Shady Brian had already seen her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He started up from his seat, the chair sliding back a few feet from the force with which he stood.

Zoe seemed to collapse inwards. "Um, ah, I, uh, I'm, um-"

"She hid in your van," Will interrupted.

"What?!?" Brian's eyebrows seemed to have contracted together in confusion.

"Yeah, I, uhm, yeah, I did." Zoe had changed the cadence of her voice, and she sounded younger and more meek now. Nico thought she was completely crazy.

"Can I ask why?" Shady Brian's face was turning pink.

Zoe visibly winced and hesitantly began to speak. "Yeah...okay...I've kinda been, uhh, stealing stuff..."

"WHAT?!?" Brian practically yelled. Nico looked at Will, who seemed like he was trying not to smile.

"Yeah...we should probably, ah, go home..." Zoe said, switching back to the voice she'd been speaking with earlier.

Brian blinked at her. "Are you fucking with me? You didn't actually steal things, did you?"

"...yeah. Sorry."

"She did return everything, though," Nico chimed in, finding a bit too much happiness in Shady Brian's anger.

"I swear to God, Mom is going to literally slit your throat," Brian said, sighing. "Let's just go."

.

"She was pretty," Will remarked later, as they were sitting the old swing set in Nico's backyard. "Totally the kind of person my dad wants me to 'get with,' as he says. Shame she was also a psychopath. And that I'm hella gay."

Nico snorted with laughter. "Oh my fucking God, same."

_______________________

lol i forgot about trigger warnings for swearing for like the last 3 chapters but whatever.

NICO AND WILL ARE SO FUCKING GAY IT HURTS ME PHYSICALLY.

anyway, sorry it's been ages since i updated. i had a dance show and then more choreography to learn and then i have an audition tomorrow and i've been doing a resumé and i have a big project due next week so i've just been completed swamped with work, but this chapter isn't too bad; they've come out to each other in the most bullshit nico-and-will way possible plus i've set the stage for some cute things.

hope you liked it. next update might not be for a few weeks, but i'll do what i can.

xo - lucy