Quinn POV

Dinner with Joy was okay.

It was a little awkward between us, if I'm being honest. If anything, hanging out with her only makes me miss having her as my friend. We used to be so close, now we're strangers it feels like.

She asked me about Harry, and how we're doing. I asked about her and David and how they're doing. Joy told me they're still dating and she feels like she found "the love of her life". I'm happy for her. I just wish she didn't hang around people like Kay. She isn't a good influence considering she is a drug dealer and or addict.

It's nine now and Harry is over my house.

"Are you sure you don't want to be at Zayn's house?" I ask my boyfriend again.

"Quinn, that's the fifth time you've asked me since I got here," Harry says. "I'm positive."

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to hangout with me, you know? I'm perfectly okay with you wanting to be with your friends over me sometimes." I explain myself.

His green eyes glance over at me, and Harry gives me a gentle grin. He leans in and kisses my cheek, making my cheeks heat by his simple action. "There will be other days I can be with them." Harry hums.

"I just feel guilty. They already don't like me, and I feel like I'm taking you away from them." I admit with a sigh.

"They'll live Quinn. If anything Destiny can distract them if they really do care." He chuckles.

My attitude changes by the mention of her name. I lick my lips and run my fingers through my hair. "She was going to be there?" I ask.

"Yeah. Carly, I believe invited her." Harry answers casually.

"Are you guys like friends now?" I ask.

"Eh," He takes his eyes off of the TV and looks over me. "Since she's friends with my friends, it makes us like acquaintances, you know? She's in my pre Calc class too, so I talk to her about that most of the time. Why?" 

"Just curious," I mumble. "Do you guys ever hangout alone?" I ask.

"Nope." He answers.

"So you just talk about school?"

"I mean, she asks about my family sometimes. But I don't talk to her about us, or talk to her like I would Zayn." Harry explains. I nod and bite the insides of my cheeks.

"Would you mind if you like not talk to her alone?" I ask. My words come out slow and timid.

His eyebrows furrow a bit. "Okay." He says. His one word answer comes out like a question.

"It would just make me feel more um," I pause, unable to find the words.

"I get you Quinn." He says with a gentle grin.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"If you and Richard were alone talking, I wouldn't feel comfortable either," Harry tells me. I was expecting him to argue with me or something. "Thank you for telling me that you don't like me talking to her alone." He leans in and kisses my cheek before laying back down on my mattress.

I'm honestly shocked that he didn't get defensive or anything.

I lay down beside Harry and rest my head next to his. My arm drapes around his body and I intertwine our legs together. I close my eyes against his hold a little and smile softly. I lean up and kiss his cheek, which makes his eyes look over at me. Harry gives me a gentle smile which makes his deep dimples appear on his cheeks.

I soon feel his hands cup my cheeks, making his body go between my legs. His fingers stroke my skin softly, making me relax as Harry's tongue emerges in my mouth. His tongue plays with mine, and this makes our kiss deeper. I feel our slow, soft kiss quickly change into something more intimate.

His hands roam around my body making me fall under his control. His lips kiss mine hungrily and eagerly as well.

Harry rests his hand stomach now and his fingers play with the hem of my shirt. Harry pulls his lips off mine, which makes me look up. His eyes are on me and the expression on his face is soft but intense.

"Can I take this off?" He asks me. I nod. The shirt is lifted off of my body leaving me in my bra. I see his eyes stare at me, making a lump in my throat form. Goosebumps rise on my skin out of slight embarrassment. From what? I'm not sure.

The last time a boy saw me in my bra, was Richard and at the time I weighed only 100. I'm currently 140ish, and I didn't know I'd feel this insecure. I'm usually never insecure, but right now I feel like I am.

I feel Harry's bulge press against my thigh, which makes my heart start to pound a little more quickly. His mouth travels down my body, making my eyes screw shut from pleasure. His hands slide down to my leggings. I nod, indicating he can take them off, and Harry does. He bites his lip and smirks.

He goes back to kissing me, which eases my hectic nerves. I pull his white shirt off of his body, which makes Harry kiss me more quickly. His hands are on my cheeks and our tongues are playing with one another.

Harry takes his mouth off from my lips, which makes my eyes open and my teeth graze over my bottom lip. "Are we like uh," He pauses. "Just messing around or are we--doing the real thing?" He asks.

"What do you want to do?" I ask timidly.

"It's up to you," His thumb strokes his cheek. "I don't want to pressure you into what I want to do. If I'm being honest, I'm okay with whatever you decide." His green eyes look into mine and they're gentle looking.

"I don't have any condoms so uh," I play with my bottom lip.

"I have one in my wallet." Harry tells me, which makes me laugh. He chuckle himself and rests his forehead against mine. "Are you ready for that? I'm fine with us doing something else, or nothing at all. I just don't want to push you. I'm enjoying just seeing you half naked." His fingertips stroke my cheek and I snicker by his last sentence.

"You're not, I promise." I smile gently and play with his fingers that are on my sides. They're stroking small circles on my skin.

"It's going to hurt." Harry warns.

"I know."

He climbs off of me and goes into his wallet and pulls out a condom. I take a deep breath, now I'm a little nervous since it's actually going to happen. "Are you positive? I don't want you to regret anything."

"I'm positive." I answer.

Harry puts the condom besides us and fits himself between my legs again. "Am I allowed to touch you? I just feel weird asking all the time." He asks me. I nod, giving him permission.

He pulls down his sweatpants, leaving himself in his boxers. Harry kiss my lips, causing my attention to go back to that rather then the pain that might be caused to me.

His empty hand slides down my boy shorts, leaving my bottom half fully exposed. He kisses along my collarbone, which makes my breaths to become lost. Harry soon kisses down my stomach. His tongue drags along my skin as well as his lips making my eyes shut. Shivers rush up my spine by his playful movements.

I chew my lip nervously as he comes close to my sensitive spot.

"Are you okay?" Harry asks once he's down by my thighs.

I nod. "I'm just nervous, is all." I admit.

"We can stop if you want." He reminds me.

"No, I'm fine." I assure Harry who nods.

"You might feel uncomfortable, but I'll go slow, okay?" He tells me.

"Okay." I say. My head rests back down on my pillow. The familiar lump in my throat forms again. I feel his lips kiss the inside of my thighs, causing my toes to dig into my white sheets.

His pointer finger slowly goes inside of me making my mouth open from an uncomfortable feeling. "Jesus you're tight." I hear Harry mutter from my legs. My cheeks heat by his words.

My heart is pounding out of pain roughly. Once my body gets used to him I nod, allowing him to continue his movements. I swallow hard when he starts pressing circles to my clit, in a slow circular motion with quite heavy pressure.

Harry pumps his one finger out of me still and continues his movements with his thumb. His pace is slow, but still plays a heavy role on me.

"Can I go quicker baby?" My insides tingle by his once sentence. Unable to speak, I nod. His movements slowly start to pick up making my hands grip my sheets tensely next to me.

Harry soon rubs another finger along my slit and then pushes it in. This time I'm not in pain so much I need to "moan" it.

His two fingers curve inside of me making me moan, which this is the first time I have officially because of pleasure. His head comes back to mine and his lips kiss my neck softly.

His fingers work their magic at a quick pace still. With his fingers pumping and curving and his thumb twiddling with my sensitive spot it make my head foggy and it makes me grip onto his shoulders more.

I bite my lower lip, trying to refrain any moans to leave my lips. Once his fingers went a certain amount inside of me, it was hard to keep them in.

Harry pulls his lips off of my skin and makes eye contact with me. "Do you want to have sex today? Or do you want me to just finish you off now and do that another time? I don't want to push you."

"We can have sex today." I tell Harry.

"Are you positive?" He asks me again. I nod.

He pulls down his boxers, leaving us both officially bare. My eyes stare at his member that is high and long looking.

Harry pumps himself a few times, which makes my teeth graze my bottom lip by the sight. I look up to my boyfriend who's staring down at me. "Enjoying the view babe?" My face heats by his words, which makes him only smirk. A few moments later Harry slides on the clear condom before going back on top of me.

"If at any point you want me to stop, just tell me, and I will without any hesitation."

"Okay." I say. His lips connect back with mine and he positions himself. "I promise I'll go slow ."

Now my nerves are coming out.

His fingers intertwine with mine and his eyes make eye contact with me. I feel his tip slowly rub around, making me bite my lip out of the slight pain. Harry kisses my neck and collarbone. "Are you sure?" He asks once more.

"Yes." I say with an assuring nod. Harry leans down and kisses me.

"I love you." He gently kisses my neck then my lips. I feel his fingers brush along me making my grip around his neck tighten.

He slowly pushes himself in me making my eyes widen and a gentle whimper leave my mouth.

There isn't a huge pain like I expected.

It just feels like I'm not used to having him inside of me.

His thrusting is slow. Very slow. Maybe if this was my real first time I think the slow thrusts would be more necessary.

"Y-You can go f-faster." I manage to say. My eyes are burning with tears and I'm trying my best to push them back.

"What's wrong? Does it hurt?" Harry panics slightly.

I shake my head 'no'. I don't feel a pain like this is me losing my virginity. More like this is my second time having sex.

Harry cups my cheeks and looks into my eyes. "I'll stop okay?" He pulls out and I shake my head.

"No, I'm fine," I say. I don't want to ruin our moment with whatever may have happened to me. Harry tilts his head at me. "I promise." I add.

"Quinn--"

"Please?" I ask. My eyes are still burning.

"I think we've done a lot today," He says. I bite my lower lip. "You've found out something that you have been wondering and I don't want to push you further right now."

"Okay." I say, dropping the topic. I lean over and grab my clothes on the floor and slowly put them on my body. I'm numb to the fact that I actually did get raped that night.

I lay on my side and feel my tears stroll down my cheeks. Harry holds me from behind, and grips onto my body firmly. "Please don't cry," I look up and see his eyes are on me. Harry's green eyes are welled up, which makes my eyes well up more. "I'm sorry that happened to you and you had to find out like this."

I nuzzle my face into my boyfriends chest and hold onto him tightly. Harry kisses the top of my head and holds me back. "I love you so much Quinn."

I can't say I love you back because if I do I'll feel like breaking down, and I don't want to cry more than I have.

Now I just want to know who did it.

A://N

ik not the most uh "best" first time chapter, BUT it has to relate to my story line i'm sorry

smut isn't my best thing so sorry lmao

comment? vote?

who do you think it is???

~lauren