Butterflies

Everyday feels the same. Wake up, practice, eat, go home and do it all over again. Days feel repetitive and boring, like being stuck in a cycle you can't break out of.

It's not like I'm depressed I'm far from being in that mental state. I guess everything is just unexpected. My debut, fame, love, heartbreak... Jungkook. However more than anything I know that these past few months have helped me find myself. I've learned to cherish and love the people around me like never before. Growing up I didn't have many friends, I would call them more acquaintances than friends. Anyway, I never had a typical teenage life, you could say that i spent most of my days at home reading and writing songs.

And to be honest, at that time I was jealous of the kids at my school, it felt like they had their lives put together like in some kind of movie. Me on the other hand, I was the lonely kid whose parents were always too busy. And when Namjoon disappeared, that's when I really hit rock bottom, he was my only friend and the person who I leaned on and then suddenly he left too.

But now, I know what I want in life more than anything, I want real happiness. To wake up everyday without a worry on my mind and to do what I truly love. I'll work on that dream step by step. As Namjoon said "Happiness is not something that you have to achieve. You can still feel happy during the process of achieving something."

Something that happened a few days ago that was exciting and unexpected was that I got invited to the BBMA's with BTS. I guess they thought I was important enough to add me on the list, who would've thought? I always watched those western award shows and cheered for my favorite artists, and now, I'm invited to it? The place where the most loved artists gather around? That's insane.

Surprisingly they've also let me have a little performance along with other kpop idols. I think that it's a pretty cool idea, more people in the world need to start getting used to the fact that korean artists are talented and need to be recognized for their talent as much as anyone else in this world.

I still have a few weeks to prepare my part but honestly I'm so nervous, my favorite girl group will be there, Red Velvet. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I'm honestly so excited and can't wait to be sharing a stage with them and other amazing artists.

As the weeks go by I've never been so busy in my life. Everything for the awards has to be perfect.

When I get home, I'm the first one back. I guess the boys are still at practice. I can't believe how hard they've been working. For them every little detail has to be perfect and in sync, and that's what makes them such professionals.

I decided to be nice to them today, because i know they will be tired by the time they come home and won't be able to cook a proper meal for themselves. So I cook them their favorite food so they can have a full tummy when they go to sleep.

Carefully I prepare everything trying not to burn anything in my house. After an hour and something I hear the front door open. "We're home!" someone yells.

"OO why does it smell like heaven in here?" Seokjin asks and follows the smell with his nose to the kitchen. "YA" he says and points at me.

"Hey! The food is not ready yet I still need to make two more side dishes!" I say disappointed because I didn't finish on time.

"Girl you cooked food for the entire Korean country what do you mean?" Yoongi points at all the food on the counter.

"Look you guys eat more than the whole entire Korean population so I need to make more." I say "You guys go ahead and start just a couple more minutes until the stir-fried eggplants and sweet and sour radish salad are ready"

They all nod and move the food into the dining area. I continue to finish up the dishes when Jungkook takes everything out of my hands and pushes me out of the way.

"HEY! I'm almost done!" I say and hit his arm trying to get my spatula back. He pushes my arms down and looks at me and smiles. He raises his hand slowly to my head and pats my hair gently. "You did a good job, now go rest and eat. I'll finish up."

I'm shocked by the sudden gesture so I do as he says and walk to the dining area where the rest of them are. I sit next to Jimin and start eating my jjajangmyeon. I replay the moment that just happened in my head and smile to myself.

"Hm, Y/n are you okay? Why are you red... and smiling? Are you sick?" Hobi points out and the others look at my direction.

"Huh?" I say and put my hands on my cheeks to cover my blush.

"Are you sick? Are you hurt anywhere?" Namjoon comes over and checks my temperature with the back of his hand. I push his hand away from my face and say "Aaa I'm fine.. I just.. I've been cooking so.. it was hot.. yeah. I'm fine don't worry."

"If you say so." Jimin says and giggles quietly. I hit him with my elbow to make him shut up. He glares at me and sticks out his tongue. I continue eating and replaying the moment that just happened over and over again.

Wow something is wrong with me...

authors note:

hello everyone! How are you guys doing? I hope you all had a wonderful summer. School has started for some of you and for others it's almost that time again. I start next month and let me tell you I am not one bit excited. A lot is coming up for me, I'll be applying to university with computer science so please wish me luck! There are a lot of thoughts going on inside my head right now but I will keep updating for you guys!

On a brighter note BTS have so many things coming up it's insane but I can't wait! ANYWAY BE READY TO STREAM DYNAMITE ON AUGUST 21!

Love you all, and please stay safe!