Tears

Over the past month you could say that I've been sleeping in either Joon's or Yoongi's studios.

But after a long hard time producing and writing I've finally finished my first album. And today I decide to surprise everyone with my new album. Which may or may not be about my first real heart break.

There are a total of 9 tracks that I'm beyond proud of.

I decide to borrow my brother's studio for my official album debut to the closest people around me.

I invite all of the members including Jungkook. It might be really uncomfortable because 99% of the songs are about him. But maybe he won't notice? 

I also haven't really seen him that often around the building. I've mostly seen his face on the news with IU but that doesn't matter. I try not to think about it too much. Especially the memories we shared.

The first to arrive is of course my brother. He's always had a habit of being by my side whenever I need anything.

"What is it Y/n?" He says annoyed but I can tell he's a bit worried.

"I'll tell you when everyone's arrived." I say jumping up and down a little.

One by one all of the boys gather up in the small room. They find their seats and i quickly began before anyone decides to leave.

"Okay so as you can tell I've gathered you all here today for something very important." I began.

"It better be! This is my napping time!" Yoongi says annoyed.

"Well it's going to wait because I've finally finished my first album!" I say clapping.

They look shocked and began clapping and congratulating me. Expect for Jungkook who's quietly sitting in the corner without moving an inch of his muscles.

"Well what are we waiting for let's hear it!" Jin says impatiently.

"First I just want to thank my brother and Yoongi for dealing with my craziness and crying the past month. Thank you for helping me with this album. And also the other members for motivating me and believing in me. And also thank you to everyone who collaborated with me-" I'm suddenly interrupted.

"LETS JUST HEAR THE SONGS ALREADY IM DYING!" Jimin shouts unable to control his excitement.

"Okay here we go." I say and I click play to a very familiar song.

1. Sunset

When Jungkook hears it he immediately sits up and his eyes become wide. He had no idea that I'll put the song on the album. Honestly I didn't either. It was mostly Tae's idea. He said it was a masterpiece and it'll be a big mistake if I didn't include it.

But of course the song doesn't have any of jungkook's vocals in it. I replaced everything with my own.

It takes everything out of me not to cry. Remembering one of the happiest nights of my life. But I don't want to seem weak in-front of Jungkook. Especially right now.

When the song ends I look at Jungkook who I can tell is getting a little bit of teary eyed. But I'm sure it'll end by the next few songs.

"Thank you for listening to me." Taehyung says with his boxy smile and pats me on the arm as I nod.

2. Alone Again

"So this song is called Alone again. I was going through a really hard time when I wrote it."

I'm pretty sure I wrote this at the darkest time of the break up. While writing it I remember all of my notes were covered in tears. Joon really helped me out by being by my side and encouraging me to continue and also by having a little part in it.

I felt so alone after Jungkook left it made me feel like I had no one again. I felt lonely and empty on the inside. I used to be good at keeping my emotions to myself and I eventually got used to being alone but after he showed up and showed me that people can love me I guess that really made a big impact on my life.

3. Best Of Me ft. Chanyeol

"You've already heard this but I'm going to make you sit through it again because it's one of the best songs ever."

"Wow I didn't think you'll put this on your album but I'm really happy you did because I've been only listening to this song on repeat for the past month." Jimin admits as the song begins.

This was the first song that I officially but on this album. Chanyeol worked so hard on it I couldn't just skip it. He was beyond excited when I told him that I'll include it in my album

4. 10:07pm

"So this song is about how I thought a knew this one person but it turned out that I didn't know anything about them. That I only saw the good things while not realizing the bad. Seeing things that aren't there. Blinded by love." I explain.

"Okay she snapped." Hobi said laughting.

"I helped with that." Yoongi said snuggling up with his pillow.

He's right he helped me produce this song. At first it was suppose to be a nice jazzy song but he told me to go off... so I did.

Jungkook is still in the corner looking at the ground without saying anything. He definitely knows it's about him.

"What's the story behind the tittle?" Jin asks innocently.

I almost spit out my water because that was one of the questions I hoped they wouldn't ask. The time was exactly when Jungkook told me he loved me. Funny that I remember the time but as I said before I guess I was too in love with him.

"Oh it's just the time when I wrote the song." I lie feeling the guilt at the bottom of my stomach.

5. Ruin my life

"This song is called Ruin my life." I say softly hoping one one hears me.

I look at Jungkook who's looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

He knows this is just another song about him. But instead of a diss song this is a message that I miss him... so much. When he left me it turned my world upside down and I wish it would go back to normal.

"Damn that sounds familiar." Tae says softly while side eyeing Jungkook

6. Little Do You Know ft. Jin

"And now the song Jin has been waiting for for so long." I say laughing at the impatient male sitting next to me.

"YES OUR MASTERPIECE!" He says while standing up and putting a fist up in the air.

When the song finishes I look around the room to all the members teary eyed. With this album I really wanted to express that there are so many sad moments in life. But somehow we have to get over them one way or another.

If they thought this song was sad they should get prepared for the next ones.

7. Coconut

Obviously by the tittle everyone could catch on. At this moment I really regret inviting Jungkook to hear my album. But he was going to do it sooner or later so... why not just get it over with.

Yoongi was also the brain behind this song. He told me to pour all my hate and tears into it and be finished. So this was the last song I finished writing. And I took so much weight off my shoulders. But not enough to forget about Jungkook.

8. Ending Scene

I think this is the saddest song on the album and my personal favorite. It really does explain how I feel. I wrote this from the bottom of my heart. I wish someday he can be happy... well guess he is happy with her now. And of course I wish that for myself as well. I guess we have to grow as human beings separately.

9. Sunrise ft. Taehyung

At first it wasn't suppose to be a collab but Tae had such a big impact on helping me after the break up that I just couldn't let him not be apart of this album.

"As the album begins with sunset I decided to name my last track Sunrise!! Because at the end of the day when the sun sets the next day it will always rise no matter what." I explain to them softly

"Wow you can really tell that you're Namjoon's sister." Jin laughs.

By the end I notice Joon crying. I go over to him and sit. "What's wrong Joon?" I say softly patting his back. His soft teary eyes look back at mine.

"I'm so proud of you. I know if mom and dad were here with us they'd be too." He says and hugs me.

Joon did a wonderful job raising me and I've never complained once of the love he's given me. I'm most thankful for my little family... this new family that I have isn't so bad either.

The members all come around us and we're now in a big group hug crying. Jungkook still sits in the corner without saying a word.

I wonder what he's thinking...

authors note
thank you so much for 1k reads!!! I'm beyond thankful I never thought this book could actually be liked by anyone! So thank you it means the world to me!!! This chapter is a little bit um different. It might be my least favorite but I had to include it because of the plot. Anyway thank you again!!