It still hurts.

Theo Raeken was the bad and I was the good. Theo Raeken was the nefarious and I was the noble. Theo Raeken was incapable of true love, but I was.

I felt everything, all at once. Anger, betrayal, relief, sadness. It was overwhelming, overpowering. I wanted to hit Kira after Theo disappeared, but I was so weak that I just stood there. Empty, void.

The others didn't understand. They tried. They tried to help me in a lot of ways. Lydia and I talked a lot, sometimes I cried. Liam was there, but I knew he didn't really understand what I felt. Stiles was there for me too, but his burning hatred for Theo made it difficult for me to talk to him.

Scott and Malia told me that learning to control my abilities was the best distraction. But every time I tried, I was distracted by my own thoughts pulling me in instead.

Theo was gone, there was no changing that. Nothing would bring him back. And I guess I was okay with that.

Loving Theo was dangerous, it was toxic. He wasn't good for me. He was the destruction, tearing away at my life. He was gone, and it was a good thing. It still didn't stop it from hurting though. But that was life.

Life is full of pain. Nothing is easy going, that would be too boring. We all learn from our past, from our mistakes. We learn to grow and to never make the same bad decisions over and over again.

Life knocks us down, but we have to get back up again. Otherwise, what's the point? What's the point of falling into the dark depths of despair when, what you really need, is always there still with you?

Everything I need, is still here. So I'm going to keep going.

Because I can.