I make my way downstairs slowly, my head throbbing and my mind reeling. Lucifer's words are still bouncing around the inside of my skull, filling my thoughts with memories of his wily voice.

"You're just as much of a monster as I am."

Gritting my teeth, I shake my head, as if that physical action will clear my thoughts, and continue to the kitchen, my footsteps impossibly silent against the smooth wood floor.

When I round the corner, my eyes immediately land on Gabriel's back. From what I can see, he's hunched over the island, forearms pressed against the dark marble, and his head is cradled in his hands. I freeze as I take in the waves of pain, anger, sorrow, and betrayal that are rolling off of him. My eyebrows pull together in a mix of confusion and concern, the air becoming heavy and tense.

After a few silent moments, he lifts his head to rest his chin on top of his hands.

"You're awake," he observes in a flat and cold tone, not bothering to spare me a glance. His voice sounding distant and unfamiliar. "How are you feeling?" he asks stiffly, his head still turned away from me.

"I feel fine," I answer slowly and hesitantly, eyes narrowing as I try to understand his sudden mood change.

Taking a few tentative steps forward, my attention stays fixated on his frame until I notice something sitting in front of him on the island.

My heart drops to my stomach and my blood runs cold when my eyes land on that familiar wooden box sitting delicately on the table, radiating power.

The lid is open, hiding the ancient symbols, and instead displaying the shiny dagger that's still perched on black velvet. The reflective glint of the hilt mocks me, the intricate carvings not looking nearly as beautiful as once did.

I still, my face falling and my heart pounding as I stare at the dagger. The tension in the air increases with unspoken words and heavy emotions, wrapping around us like a thick blanket.

Gabriel's eyes slide up to meet mine and my face becomes impassive again, giving nothing away. In contrast to my stony expression, his eyes are swarming with a whirlwind of emotions and pooling with unshed tears.

"Gabe," I whisper delicately, my voice sounding softer than I wanted it to.

He shakes his head in response, breaking eye contact.

I clear my throat and after a few beats of silence, I ask, "How did you find it?"

"You really think I wouldn't recognize the only weapon that can kill me?" he retorts, his voice sharp and holding a tinge of anger.

I suck in a deep breath and run a hand through my long hair. This is the last thing that I wanted to happen. I wanted to sit him down and explain my reasoning at the right time. I wanted to ease him into the idea and I wanted him to understand. And I especially didn't want him to be disappointed or angry.

I wanted a lot of things, but I guess we don't always get what we want.

"Where did you get it?" he eventually asks.

"A witch," I answer vaguely, eyes darting from the dagger to him.

He lets out an abrupt scoff and shakes his head again, staring forward and avoiding my eyes.

"Why do you have it, Victoria?" he demands, voice hard and holding no room for argument.

I mull his words over in my head a few times, trying to find the best way to answer his question.

"I think you know why, Gabriel," I eventually say grimly.

His eyes snap to mine, suddenly simmering with anger. It's saddening and also shocking to see him so upset and emotional. He's always been levelheaded and gentle by nature, I can't even remember the last time I saw him this angry and especially directed at me.

"So what was your plan? Were you even gonna tell me or were you just gonna write a suicide note before stabbing yourself in the heart?" he spits harshly, pushing away from the kitchen island to stand straighter.

I resist the urge to wince due to his sharp words and shake my head before answering.

"Of course I was gonna tell you, but I knew you'd react like this," I answer. "I'm not just going to kill myself for fun, Gabriel, but you know what could happen during my birthday and we need to be prepared."

"No," he responds quickly, "this isn't an option."

"If Lucifer's darkness takes over and I lose my soul, this is what will have to be done. I will not keep my life just to risk billions of others." I say, my voice stern.

"We can find another way," he says, almost pleadingly. "There is also just as much of a chance that your angel grace will take over, and then you'll lose Lucifer's darkness completely."

"Yes, and that would be great, but we can't count on that happening." I respond. "There isn't another way, Gabriel. Life without a soul, isn't a life worth living."

"I won't lose you," he says, each syllable laced with determination.

I shake my head softly and answer delicately, guilt bubbling in my chest, "Im sorry, Gabe."

Our eyes stay locked in a silent battle, while footsteps make their way downstairs. I recognize them as Zeke's, but I don't pay them any attention and neither does Gabriel.