drip.

the sound of water droplets echoed inside the four walls of the bathroom. chenle had his eyes closed and had sunk his body down the filled tub till it covered his mouth, still having air to breathe through his nose.

drip.

the silence was killing him, giving him dozens of thoughts that he didn't want to have, making him overthink about the situation he is in, and causing him to break down at any time. he was fully clothed, having an oversized shirt with him and wearing sweatpants. all of them are owned by the pure blooded but with his presence not around, wearing his clothes is the closest he could feel him.

drip.

the clothes were already drenched, getting inside the filled tub without even taking it off, but that was far from his concerns. what's occupying his head was how much the world had his back on him, how it hated him so much. chenle never asked to be born in a rich family, he never wished to be perfect, and he definitely never demanded to have everything.

all he wanted was to have a family that can love him, that can give him affection, that can be proud of what he's doing for his sake and not control him to do what they wanted him to do. he knew it was too late to smack some sense to his parents' head, not like he had the courage to even do that, but the pure blooded made him realize that it's never too late to start a family that can be rich, not by money, but with bond, with love and with affection.

drip.

the life forming inside him. the baby he was supposed to have. that, that made chenle change his perspective in everything. thinking about his own imperfect family strayed him away from having thoughts about the good side of keeping the baby. fortunately for him, jisung was there. the pure blooded brought him to the good side of his thoughts, making him see the wonderful possibilities and heartwarming scenarios of starting a family of their own. jisung reassured him that they were going to be alright as long as they got each other.

but no, this just had to happen.

drip.

chenle sat back up properly as he now had tears falling down from his eyes, his hand making its way to his tummy and clutched on to the shirt he is wearing. ❝i'm sorry b-baby, papa i-is so clumsy.❞

just when he finally had his mind changed and decided to keep the baby, to take care of the baby, to start a loving family that he never once had.

his plans had to be ruined just like that.

❝d-does baby f-forgive papa?❞ he choked in his words, having a hard time breathing as he sobbed. ❝because p-papa doesn't forgive himself.❞

drip— getting irritated at the sounds of the droplets, chenle slowly slid himself down. he had his eyes closed and lips clamped tight before going underwater. the water from the tub overflowed and had some being spilled out.

the noise was blocked and for the first time, he liked the silence.

time was forgotten by the distressed omega, not knowing how many seconds has already passed with him drowning himself. all he was thinking of were what could have been happening right now if he wasn't just clumsy, if he could have just ran back to his lover's arms in time, if he wasn't weak and could have fought for himself and the baby.

probably, he would be sitting down the bed and talking random things to the life being formed inside his tummy, rubbing and caressing it all the time.

probably, jisung would tease him a lot for getting a little bit chubbier but ends up complimenting him anyways.

probably, they'd be talking about their future already. having countless of ideas in mind as where they could possibly live, what jobs they would take, what their house would look like, and how the baby's room would be decorated.

probably, the two of them would have been very happy by now.

"chenle, open the door!"

he felt like he failed not just an omega, but as jisung's lover. sure, it did annoy him back then when he would keep on talking as if there is a baby but that was way back when chenle was still clouded with thoughts about his parents. he could see how happy the younger was when he changed his mind and finally accepted in taking care of the baby. there would never be a time that jisung failed to show his love  to him and the baby. he was excited and that made chenle think that maybe this decision he took in taking care of the baby is not that bad after all.

why? because he knows that jisung is always going to be with him all the time. he will never leave him.

and what did he give to the pure blooded in return? his clumsiness.

"i swear to god, zhong chenle!"

banging sounds came muffled to his ear, still getting himself drowned.

thoughts piled up inside his head and he didn't even know which ones to focus on to first. there were a lot and he couldn't take it anymore.

he wanted it all to end.

❝fuck, chenle!❞

gasping for air, the omega was being harshly pulled up from the tub and got himself engulfed by a tight hug as the person stumbled down the cold and wet floor. he coughed out the water he accidentally drank and raised his head up from burying on a shoulder, catching the door being broken down and a mother standing there with a hand on her mouth.

he was about to push himself away from who came to pull him out of the tub in the middle of him taking a bath but he was being embraced tightly, causing for him to fail and drop his head back down on this person's shoulder.

❝j-jisung?❞ his voice bounced at the corners of the bathroom.

but it was no match for the pure blooded's cry, who came to get him out from the tub. ❝why are you doing this?❞

❝ji—❞

❝you promised me that you won't do anything reckless!❞ the younger had his voice raised and startled the omega in his arms.

chenle's hazy gaze went down only to see that the pure blooded was still in his uniform. he then remembered that it wasn't yet late in the afternoon, making him realize that the younger should still be in school right now instead of being here. ❝ji, your uniform—❞

❝does that even matter right now, chenle!?❞ he didn't mean to shout at him but he really was just worried, and also frustrated at how the omega even planned to do this.

being moved a bit away, chenle felt his chin being lifted up by the pure blooded's finger but he still had his eyes avoiding him. he didn't want to see how broken the younger is looking right now, it might make him more guilty that he is before.

❝chenle, look at me.❞ as much as jisung wanted to use his voice against the shorter male, he didn't want to scare him. ❝i said, look at me.❞

the omega could sense how badly the younger was holding himself back from snapping. not wanting that to happen, he followed what he asked him to do and looked at him straight in the eye. chenle guessed right, he is broken. his eyes showed pain, he could see how tired he was, and how many sleepless nights he got.

breathing heavily from the sobs threatening to come out, jisung moved his quivering lips to say something. ❝am i not enough?❞

he is. in fact, he is more than enough for chenle. for someone who's stupid enough to run away, to get himself to an alpha institution, to get himself in trouble most of the time, and for someone who's stubborn like him. jisung deserves better. chenle feels like he's just a burden to him, putting more problems to his life.

❝chenle, i can't lose another.❞ the pure blooded brought his hands up and brushed the omega's wet hair while he had his other hand to wipe the tears that's falling from his lover's glossy eyes.

❝it's my fault why—❞

before he would let the older burst out crying, jisung had already hushed him down. ❝it's not. we don't know this would happen, neither of us expected this.❞ he then cupped the male's face, leaning forward to stick his forehead to the omega's. ❝you are having a hard time accepting this, i know. but le, i am too. i blamed myself for not arriving in time, for not taking you away from that woman, and for not being able to save our baby. but you know what donghyuck hyung told me?❞

pressing his lips to a thin line, chenle subtly shook his head. tears still fell down nonstop but at least he got to silence his cries.

❝blaming can't do anything.❞ jisung shut his eyes tight and took deep breaths to compose himself down. ❝it can't bring us back the baby we lost, it can't bring us back to when we were once excited to be expecting, it can't bring us back to when we were still happy.❞

sniffling, the omega settled both his hands on the pure blooded's already soaked uniform and clutched to it tight. the mention of their baby made him this near to be a mess, an emotional mess.

❝acceptance.❞ he's no where near to being alright. jisung is feeling the same way as what chenle is feeling right now. he also wants to break down, to shout, to cry, and to just let it all out. ❝acceptance can bring us back to all of that. it doesn't have to be this instant. baby steps, that's what i'm doing right now, chenle. it hurts so bad and i still am blaming myself but i'm slowly starting to accept it.❞

no words came out of his mouth, he just listened to the pure blooded. it was lifting the burden on his chest, it was slapping him back to his sensed, his words comforted him.

❝you are not alone, i'm here.❞ a small smile was shown on the pure blooded's face, seeing that he once again got comfort the omega. his distressed pheromones were disappearing and the smell of strawberries filled up his nose. ❝we have each other, chenle. we'll get through this together.❞

the omega then nodded at what he said, lifting his hands up and wiping the tears that are falling down aggressively. jisung patiently waited for him to compose himself and when chenle had finally came to face him with puffed eyes and swollen lips, but no tears, the pure blooded pulled him down and settled a short and gentle peck on his forehead.

❝i have you and you have me.❞ the pure blooded then whispered out, making sure that the older had heard it. ❝please keep that in mind.❞

surprising the younger with his action, the smaller figure threw himself to jisung and got the both of them to fall down the cold tiles. his then tightened his embrace around the taller's body and snuggled his face on the crook of his neck. ❝i-i'm sorry.❞

his words got to him and jisung is actually right, accepting is what he has to do.

although it may take a while but if the pure blooded can do it then why can't he?

if jisung can stay strong then why can't he?

the younger then chuckled, patting his back. he once again skipped his classes for this but he didn't mind, he knew the omega needed him.

and he also needs chenle. ❝are you feeling fine now?❞

he really hasn't healed completely but for now, with him by his side, he's feeling more than fine. ❝but you missed your afternoon classes.❞

humming, jisung scrunched his nose as he sat back down and had the omega settled on his lap. ❝i wanted to go home anyways.❞ he said, nearing towards him and booped their noses. ❝now, let's clean you up.❞

❝i was about to take a bath, but you came.❞ chenle reasoned out.

and who is jisung to fall for that? ❝take a bath while still wearing your clothes? convince me more.❞

being placed down the cold tiles as the pure blooded crouching in front of him, chenle watched the younger try to take his clothes off. by now, nothing mattered as long as he's around. the door that's broken down didn't even bother him at all. he only had his eyes focused on the male in front of him that's doing so much for him.

biting his lip, ❝jisung.❞ he then called him out.

the said male stopped from unbuttoning his uniform and turned to face the omega down the floor. he raised both his brows and tilted his head to the side. ❝hm?❞

❝i want you.❞

that familiar line brought the butterflies back to his stomach, just simply staring at the omega with his adoring eyes showing affection.

❝i need you.❞ chenle then continued.

what jisung didn't expect was to see him cry once more. it alarmed him and got him to place the the smaller male back on his lap. he hushed him as he wiped the tears away, wondering what had caused him to cry again.

❝b-because..❞ taking a deep breath to silence his sobs, chenle stared straight at him with puckered lips. ❝i love you so much.❞

and there, the pure blooded actually thought he was back at it with overthinking and blaming himself again. he giggled and whispered the same things to him after placing another kiss on his forehead.

while the two were having their moment inside the bathroom, a mother standing outside was muffing out her sobs. she never thought she'd see this side of her son, actually proud at him. thinking that they might need some time alone, she walked away after she was being reassured that jisung is already there to take care of the omega. no one knows how panicked she really was a while ago when she just finished cooking lunch for chenle and not finding him inside the room. she then went to check the bathroom but it's locked, thus making her know that he's there.

calling her son over, despite of still attending classes, really is the right thing to do.

they need each other.

❝ah,❞ she then blew her nose at the tissue she had brought with her. ❝he really got those words of wisdom from me.❞

not wanting to agree that jisung got those traits from his father.

after calming herself down from crying at the scene the two caused, she showed a bright smile while cracking her knuckles. ❝alright, time to find that bitch.❞

she didn't mean to use such word to describe the omega's mother but she was mad at what that woman had caused. she really did mean when she told chenle that he's already part of their family and if anyone hurts her family then they'd have to go through her first.

or her husband since he's more of an expert on the violent side.

⚠️

that incident really scared jisung. it frightened him shitless, thinking that it might happen again. which is why he started searching for ways to that he won't be out that long and that he'll be able to watch out for his omega. if there would be free time, he'd take that to call chenle and ask him how he's doing. when he knows that the classes are just going to be filled with activities, he would ask for the professors to give him the activities in advance and ask permission if he could take it home and do it there.

he's just thankful that he had jaemin as a friend. he didn't meant to use the alpha's reputation as the chairman's son but the older could see how much he was struggling to convince other teachers to give him the works so he could do it in advance, also do it at home so he can check up on chenle at the same time. jaemin then tried to explain the pure blooded's situation to his father and luckily for him, the man isn't that heartless to refuse helping the male. jisung was now allowed to bring the works and activities to his shared unit with chenle but if he would be needed in school, he'll also go there and call his mother to look after the omega.

everything was going well aside from the fact that he was piled up with homeworks, individual projects, and mind filled with the situation he is in with chenle.

chenle got out from the kitchen after drinking a glass of water and then saw the pure blooded on the living room, groaning and having his hair disheveled from ruffling it. it took jisung a few more minutes to notice the omega's presence there.

❝oh,❞ he mustered up a smile, taking his eyes off from the books that are piled up on the coffee table. ❝you're going to sleep?❞

lowering his head and playing with his fingers, the shorter male nodded his head with a hum.

so far, nothing bad has really happened to them and that relieved jisung. ❝sleep well, alright? you need to rest.❞

he's the one to talk, he's the most stressed out here. even the omega could see how much work he was making, that definitely didn't make him miss going to school. yet, the pure blooded still got time to look out and care for him.

making his way to their room, the omega was hesitant to open the door and get inside. he turned his head around to glance at the younger male by the sofa and he could really see how frustrated he is. it made him think that it was his turn to be with him, comfort him, and encourage him. having a smile formed on his lips, chenle turned around and started walking away from their room.

jisung was in the middle of reading a book, trying to understand the lesson so he could answer the worksheet he brought home. but his study period was disturbed when someone got under his arms, making him hug that figure and drop the book down the table. chenle adjusted himself on the younger's lap as he pushed him so he could lean back on to the sofa.

❝i thought you were going to sleep.❞ jisung can't help but chuckle at how the older surprised him.

chenle was then pulled closer and the omega placed both his hands on the taller's chest. ❝you too, you need to sleep.❞

❝i can't.❞ saying that, the pure blooded threw his head back. ❝i still have a lot to do.❞

the younger's exposed neck tempted chenle to place soft kisses. well, no one was holding him back. the arms that wrapped around his waist then tightened when he leaned down and placed butterfly kisses on the pure blooded's nape, settling a long one on his adam's apple. jisung only hummed in content as he did that. chenle didn't mean it as anything sexual, nor showing that he wanted to get laid by the pure blooded at that moment, but it's simply just to show his affection towards the younger. just to relieve him from the stress he's feeling.

jisung then sat up straight when the omega had rest his head on his shoulder, inserting his hand under the older's shirt and rubbing comforting circles behind his back.

the two were staying there in comfortable silence for quite a while until chenle decided to speak. ❝i won't sleep if you won't sleep.❞

looking down at him, his state made the taller male chuckle. jisung could clearly see that he was dozing off meanwhile, he was still wide awake. ❝what if i tell you that i'm gonna sleep here on the sofa?❞

❝then,❞ the omega yawned, making the other coo at how adorable he is. ❝we'll sleep here together.❞

jisung didn't say anything more and just continued to rub circles behind his back, aware that it was making the older male doze off. just as he was about to close his eyes, chenle were winced when he was reminded of himself that he was there to encourage the pure blooded and not just to sleep on his lap.

❝ji,❞ he then started. ❝please don't overwork yourself.❞

the other male didn't say anything and just stayed silent. he honestly didn't know what to say to begin with so might as well shut up, giving the older the opportunity to speak. besides, even if chenle would tell him that, he had no choice but to work hard just to get this over with.

❝and just like what you said, baby steps to acceptance.❞ the omega then mumbled, fighting back the urge to sleep. ❝i'm doing that right now so you don't really need to worry much for me. you can leave me with your mom and you can go to school with your normal schedule.❞

he tried doing that, but failed. jisung just can't help but worry for him. anything can happen if he leaves chenle alone. heaving out a sigh, a yelp was heard from the smaller male when the pure blooded positioned them down the sofa with the omega on top of him. he then had a small smile on his face as he admired the surprised male, brushing a strand of his hair from his forehead.

❝remember when we first did it and ended up sleeping down the sofa?❞ jisung chuckled at the memory. ❝by the way, i'm sorry for breaking the bed.❞

while it was funny for the younger, chenle had his face flushed at the images of them doing it. it was their first time being that intimate with each other yet he was being handled by jisung as if he was already experienced. ❝i-it's f-fine, you w-were having a h-hard time controlling.❞

he won't say it but the omega was just bearing everything the pure blooded did to him during that day. it probably came to the point that maybe it wasn't just the bed that broke during his heat.

❝hey,❞ lifting the the blushing male's chin up, jisung stared at how his eyes held the whole universe. he got lost by it for a good minute before getting back to his senses and remembering what he was about to ask. ❝do you think we can try again?❞

that then caused for chenle to widened his eyes and have his heart stop beating for a moment. his breathing hitched and seeing the younger lean towards him wasn't helping in calming himself down. his lips started to quiver as he felt the pure blooded's warm breath ghosting over, his grip on the younger's shirt tightening, and his eyes shut tight at what would possibly happen.

it was until they were an inch close that jisung stopped midway, having him to eye the omega that's nervously shaking on top of him.

with a small smile, he dropped back down the sofa and adjusted the smaller figure right beside him. ❝it's alright, i can wait.❞

that was enough for the omega to cling to him, wrapping his arms on his body and hug him tight. he buried his head on his chest and got them to leave more space on the sofa as they were basically glued to each other.

chenle couldn't exaggerate this enough but he truly is grateful to have jisung with him.

⚊ t b c ⚊