Night : Clear

Josh was a quiet boy. a new apartment with new mindsets. The digital clock glowed, 12:46. The boy was the most alive at night but the most disturbed. Big eyes, tight head.

Eyes just a window to dark places and he had just gotten used to not being a prisoner there.

Life was .. life for Dun. Hard, unpleasant, slow. A sleeve of remembrance was stitched onto his arm. What he wanted not needed. The dark was hard. But he didn't need people knowing him for that. He didn't need people knowing him at all.

As the slow boy poured his bowl of cereal, the clock flashed 1 and a knock erupted from his door. It's late and Josh knew no one.

Caution and anxiety arose as the door was opened.

Tyler was small, pale, eyes were blank, fearful. A grey sweater hung off his frail body. Just a suit holding a ghostly soul.

Fading in and out of what is real and what is not, but just in his head, nobody else thought what he thought.

" Need something 304 ?"

Josh always saw the boy disappear into the room down the hall.

"I .. i can't take them .. them on my own"

Soft, raspy, cold. From the pale, chapped lips of the Joseph to the floor.

"Who ? You can't possibly be in trouble"

Josh lead the boy to his couch, believing that the fragile being could never cause harm any to him.

"For, I am not .. not the one you-you know"

Hesitation, concern, and clarity.

"I'll *clear* I can protect you, nothing can hurt you"

The smaller being eyed the floor as if it was the only thing known to man, blurred eyes, mind made of ice melting through his frost like body.

"Is there anyway I could help ?"

Josh scratched his bare chest, he only wore grey sweats and black socks, dull and faded.

Suddenly realizing this, causing a rose tone to rise up on his cheeks.

"I want .. want to k-k hurt .. hurt him"

Eyes were crystals, reflecting all but who he was, all blurred. A wave of paranoia crashed over his state, he was inhaling all the sand.

"Hurt who ? I could always help you if you're not safe."

Joshua worried about this boy and he didn't even know why. Living alone and petrified. So small and fragile, as if the wind could blow and he wouldn't bother stopping it from taking him away.

It would be as if Tyler wanted that to happen, to go and fly to somewhere new.

"It's It's okay, I just got tired of run running, I thought .. thought it was time to go."

Tyler slumped to the ground, Josh laid on the carpet beside him, cold.

Tyler sat frozen as the rigid carpet brushed against the back of Josh.

"I could give you my number if you ever needed to talk.... er.."

" *clear* Tyler....and and I would wouldn't want to call.. call you in the nighttime."

Fears, drowning in all of nights fears. Getting to close now, there was no way he could open up to anyone.

"I wouldn't mind, I'm always up"

Insomnia. Insomniac. Alone. Lonely.

"I've I've already shown you to many pieces"

"Ty, I'm shirtless... besides, I would never judge you"

I would never hurt you.

The nickname made the rose tone rise up to Tyler's cheeks now.

"But, you you wouldn't want to deal with all my my troubles"

"Trust me Tyler, I know how life can be."

His fingers trailed the branches that danced upon his arm.
Twisted and rough.
Beautiful and stiff.

Memories were all that was left, all Josh wanted to remember, colliding with his skin, colors turned and melted with each other, a painted picture that might be worldless, but full of loud meaning.

Meaning to him.

Meaning to him and not many others, whether his head was high in the sky or drowning in deep water pits, nobody knew what he knew.

"I I guess you'll have to watch me struggle from s s several rooms away."

"I'll always stay with you Tyler."

Always. When was always, it felt like always never happened.

"You.. you promise ?"

"I promise"

Clear.

Josh looked at the boy who hadn't moved the whole conversation. Eyes were blurry, streaked with crystal lines. Never focusing, like the thoughts spinning nonstop in his head.

Burning brighter than before, the thoughts were there, but still ice cold.

"You can stay on the couch if you want."

Josh got up and dumped his now soggy flakes into the sink, stuck and dead in the drain.

"I'll be off to my room, if you need anything just call for me."

"I...you you.....er "

"Josh"

" Josh....I need....could could you.. could you stay with me ?"

The blurry boy looked up, hands fists, eyes a clear grey-blue.

" *clear* Sure Ty, if it makes you feel better"

The boys sat on opposite ends of the couch. Sinking into the dark material, far but close enough.

Silence filled the air, it was loud, louder than the heart bump bump bumping through the chest of the Joseph.

Minds still spinning and no where near tired.

"So.."

Josh spoke, like the strum of a bass, echoing down Tyler's spine causing the boy to get goose bumps.

"What makes you happy ?"

Happy.

Happy. An emotion? Feeling? An expression?
Is it physical, verbal, pointless?

Fuel for humans, a light source at best. Strive, thrive, what you want not need. Do you need it or do you just want it? Pleasure, all we want in life, to fill life with emotions you can't get back. To get the pleasure of living and knowing you did.

"Music."

Rolled off his tongue, one of the easiest words he could say, could write, could speak.

"Me too..... I play the drums, and maybe little bass, some trumpet and..... yeah, that's me"

Josh pushed away the old memories rising into his mind. The old group he was in and the shit storms that wore him down.

Panic, anxiety, fears from the corners of his mind.

The thought of singing and getting in front of people haunted him. It built in his chest and dragged him down.

The toxic people that lead him to dark corners and dropped him off to stay hurt.

Josh hated how easy it was for him to get on edge. Anxiety. The thing that grabbed at his shoulders pulling him down when he least expected it.

"I like piano, ukulele, a accordion, b bass, and I write but I don't, I don't sing in front of people"

Josh nodded in response but his eyes say glazed over.

Easy. To easy. His head was his to friendly with demons and there was no escaping that.

The thought of getting on the edge was enough to push Josh and cause his brain to fall through the void.

He needed help, he hated being so easy, so hard with himself.

"Tyler....could...could maybe.. could you sing for me ?"

Full of unexpected courage the question flew out.

The soft whisper blew from his mouth, he suddenly became as fragile as the boy across from him, his hands began to shake.

Tyler did expect that at all. Eye contact made them both turn, scared of their own feelings.

They just met each other and the wanting to need each other was already strong.

After swallowing pains and nerves like oversized pills, he tugged his hair and exhaled.

Finally, soft, scared and angelic.

"I
I need you to stay
Dadadada
Dadadada
Dadadada
Dadadada
Dadadada
Dadadada
Dadadada
Dadadada"

Night : Cloudy

The clock flashed 2:57.

Josh sat in silence, bare chest, black sweats. It had been a week since he'd seen the boy, Tyler. The small being left before Josh woke up. Quite, but calm, he wrote that morning:

"We will meet again
Thank you
Rest peacefully
~Ty"

Josh was up again, sleep never really worked out for him. The bags under his eyes always covered in pale makeup, he hated them.

Maybe one day he would learn to accept how he looked, maybe cover them with a blood red paint like the kind off his arm.

Soon again, in the depths of night, came two small knocks at the door.

Like a slap in the face, he walked over to the entrance, pulling him out of his head.

"Tyler ?"

The boy was on the other side of the hallway, up against the wall.

"Joshua, I I need your your help"

Up and down the hall, no one was there, no sounds were heard, but they were clouding up the mind of the small boy.

Josh lead him into the front room, sitting closer now.

"Are you hurt ?"

Tyler pulled harshly at his sweater sleeves. Wanted to yes, wanted not needed. But now he was not physically hurt.

"It's It's like I can can hear them coming d down the hall"

Small fingers gripping onto pale skin, pulling and tugging.

The building was dead but the boy was frightened. Josh wanted, but not needed to help the boy.

"You're okay, you're okay now"

"J J Joshua, I really want them to go away."

Shaking and teary eyed, clouds blurred his vision. Hands gripped at tuffs of burnt glazed hair.

"I can't just keep running, I hu have to go."

Tyler never ran away, but he was getting sick, poisoned by the constent run every night without sleep.

The spiders that spun their webs of thick rope and sad songs. They wanted to pull him in and take him out.

"Stay with me Ty"

Josh gazed into the cloudy eyes that he held in his arms. The air between them was thin, gravity holding on tight.

Close. Close and warm, making goose bumps rise.

Josh pulled out his phone from inside his pant pocket.

"I want your number Tyler."

"I d don't want to to call you in the nighttime"

"I don't care, I never have company, I'm always up"

"I've given you enough t trouble, enough of my p pieces"

He shook his head and lightly tugged again at his dark caramel hair.

"Tyler, I understand what your saying, trust me."

He pushed the device into the pale hands, Tyler hesitantly tap tap tapped away, filling the screen with numbers.

"I cannot just sit here and watch you struggle from rooms away."

He tightened his arms around the boy.

Tyler inhaled a musky pine and coffee scent, a calming fresh that complimented the bright haired boy that took the time to hold him.

"I c can go"

"But I need you to stay"

".... o okay Joshua, I c can, will stay"

"Promise ?"

"Promise"

Tylet fixed his rested head on the Duns shoulder, hands at his bare chest, their legs a mess.

A deep tone, hummed in the back of the drummer boy's throat, a calm slow, lullaby.

He needed to stay calm, stay calm for him.

"HmHmHmHm
HmHmHmHm

HmHmHmHm
HmHmHmHm

HmHmHmHm
HmHmHmHm

Hm"

Night : Loud Cold Thunder Rain

It was 9:30

2 weeks after the second night with Tyler.

Josh had been texting him nonstop, almost forgetting about his whole life.

Throwing on his camo jacket he texted Debby that he was on his way.

Thunder roared from outside, his windows rattled, dripping now.

Clouds pulled in as three sharp knocks came from the door, early.

"J J Josh"

"Tyler I need to hurry up and go, what do you need ?"

" I need need help, h help, so much, need needing, want help..."

The boy trailed on, face with no color, hands blurry. Words words words words all he could think of. Messed up words and messed up faces.

Josh opened the peeling, white door.

"Tyler, I need to go see my girlfriend, can't you just go lay down, you can stay here if you want"

He spoke fast, turning back inside

"J Josh, I need to take care of of them, to today!"

"Tyler, you're not making any sense"

Josh ran over into the kitchen to grab his hat, covering his messy, ruby hair.

"I I can't take it Joshua"

Black converse were thrown on, time passing.

"I I've waited so long, to l long and na now they're winning"

Keys hit against each other, making there own, rushed music.

"I n need to hurt them, I want th them to go away"

Tyler stepped forward causing Josh to bump into him.

pain.

"J J"

"Tyler, I really need to go"

He had been so caught up with Tyler, school work and his job that he had been pushing his girlfriend aside.

He wanted to make her happy and feel normal, he wanted it to work. He needed it to work, so he could remind himself that he was normal.

"J J Joshie you don't under under stand"

Tyler stood in the doorway.

"Tyler move, I need to go now"

"Why can't you st-"

"I'm going to be late !"

"You said you would st-"

"I can't let her get upset with me !"

"You prom-"

Josh grabbed Tyler by his thin arm and forced them both out into the hall.

Icey tears spilled down onto the pale, rosey skin of Tyler.

"josh"

a whisper

a whimper

"Tyler I'm already behind, nothing is hurting you !"

"I can't-"

"Go home, we can talk later, please !"

Tyler crattled his body, pain spreading throughout his veins.

Josh needed to go, to feel the love of her, her her her,
he
was
normal.

"I n need you to stay"

"She's gonna hate me !"

Tyler stepped in front of Josh's path, fear.

" You promised ! "

Bump bump bump. Courage spoke from the grey eyes of the fragile boy. Boom boom boom. The fears in the back of Josh's head said otherwise.

"Fucking hell Joseph ! We're not babies !"

a shout

a bullet

Frozen in his cold body stood Tyler as Josh stormed down the hall, late, late and late.

He felt it, felt it in his mind. His bones were crumbling with the ringing sound in his ears.

He had done what was not him, but his anxiety was in control now and nothing could stop that.

A fragile body fell back against a cracked grey wall and slid to a stop.

Thunder howled as the night went on, rain danced to the sounds of traffic. Dark clouds filled the jet black sky. Thunder louder then ever, louder then the sharp bump bump bumping of a broken heart.

Josh was racing down the roads of Columbus. He felt a pit in his stomach, remembering the icey tears that were shed and the small arm that was once being pushed in his big hands.

He was tempted, in deep thought, in his car, all alone just as his phone went off.

•

•

The room was ice.
The silence was defeating.
Walls were small, hands were blurry.
Tyler stood in front of his mirror, looking at his small, bare torso.
The only light in the empty home came from three bulbs, the forth had been broken.
His chest blew up, then fell back down.
A faded tattoo was the only art to be around. Dusty freckles sprinkled his worn skin under his baggy, bloodshot eyes.
Tyler stared, blank and blurry, red rows of depression reminded him of who was winning.

They were.

His world had stormed off down the hallway, words still lingered in the air, playing their song in his eardrums.
Tyler was ready.
Ready to finally hurt them.
He was tired of the sleepless nights.
Sick of the poisonous songs that rang in his ears.
So loud and defeating, but only he could hear them.
That's all they would do to him, cause they had nothing better to do.

A drawer was pulled.
A stone was taken out.
The stone that would kill two flightless birds with the first go.

Tyler sat on the floor.
The building spun.
Echos in his head were the only thing he could hear from the old apartment complex.
Thunder roared, edging him to throw the stone, he had been alone with them for so long.
He was so tired of running, he knew he had to go.

Tyler pulled his arm, ready to finally take him out.
Ready to get rid of all the torture he had brought him. Not caring any more cause this is what his life had come to, forgetting all the selfish acts that were taking place.

The stone was aimed.

The stone was fired.

There it was thrown, and there he fell.

•

•

Josh pulled up to the apartment building, the rain shot at his salt flavored cheeks.

Not good enough for me

Josh walked up the stairs.

One floor up.

All he wanted was his bed.

All he wanted was Tyler.

Passing, room by room.

One step, two step, sounds.

A sound louder than thunder called from the end of the hall.

And fear lead to anxiety.

Tyler's room, the door was cracked.

All Josh wanted to do was hold him and apologize.

The home was ice, blurry.

Step, step, step, walking to the only room with light.

The clump clump clump of his shoes against the hard, almost spotless floor.

He walked and went to the room of his most regret.

There on the bathroom floor layed Tyler Joseph, gun in hand.

Rows of hate, fresh and deep.

Eyes closed without a single breath.

Ruby stains covered Josh's clothes as he pulled the boy onto his fallen lap.

Nothing was louder than the cry's that came from the man.

Sorry, I'm sorry.

His head spinned, he only saw clouds of blurry water.

Fault, my fault.

His chest exploding with tight pain.

He brushed his fingers through the heated honey hair that would no longer grow.

"I'm sorry b baby boy, I'm so s so sorry"

His head buried into the limp body, screaming.

The world came knocked at his skull, telling him it was over.

That he did this and his mind was no longer.

Josh lost, head lost, mind lost, lost everything.

Word words words, they didn't make sense.

For once he felt normal but it wasn't with her, it was with him.

He had found his worth but his worth went away.

His only friend hope, will never get to see another day.

Head pounding, vision coming in and out, the stone was still there.

"I promised.. I promised I would stay with you, forever and-and ever, s-soon."

He pressed his pastel lips on the blurry boy's temple.

The thunder drowned the sounds of the icey apartment.

Cracked and raindrops flooded the city that continued to buzz right outside the window.

The stone,like the beginning, was aimed and thrown, and the second bird crumbled to the ground.

Together they sailed through the sky with the last song beating from their broken hearts.

do..do...do.....do
do......do........do..........do.