The Mother

Aunora scrapped at the pan with the spatula, realizing with a grimace she had burned yet another grilled cheese sandwich.

After Matthew had left, Aunora had went straight to work, trying to teach herself to cook. She tried to remember watching Matthew and Umbra cook, but she found it was much harder than it looked. Everything was so fickle- there was only a couple seconds between "just right" and "burned."

Aunora realized the bottle of yellowish oil was not for lubricating the pan, and made her sandwiches taste very, very nasty (especially when she used a cup of it). But, on the other hand, if she didn't put anything on the pan, the bread stuck and was impossible to pull off. Butter made the sandwich taste better, but soaking the entire thing in butter didn't really work.

With a sinking heart, Aunora realized her kids were hungry. Seraph had seated himself at the bar, staring at her impatiently. Victor was slumped against the counter, and Aunora assumed he was hungry as well. Either that, or perhaps unconscious. Aunora wasn't sure.

"Alright," Aunora announced, sliding the slightly-blackened sandwich on a plate, "Now for the finishing touches."

Aunora sprinkled bagged grated cheese in a smiley face, hoping to mask the charred exterior. She slid it towards Seraph.

"Thank you, Mother," Seraph said politely, "It looks wonderful."

Aunora propped her hands on her hips. "It does, doesn't it?" She smacked another sandwich on the pan, winking at Victor, who seemed to still be asleep.

That morning, Aunora had gotten Seraph and Victor out of bed and dressed. Aunora found that Umbra normally picked out Victor's clothes and kept him from falling back in bed. Seraph was much more compliant, and even changed his clothes magically.

The sheer amount of housework Umbra apparently shuffled through every day blew Aunora's mind. Between washing dishes, washing clothes, keeping the house orderly, and taking care of the children, Aunora wasn't sure how he had the energy to be so annoying. She felt like she was about to fall over, and it was only twelve o'clock.

While Victor's sandwich cooked, Aunora grabbed an orange from the fruit bowl on the counter. Esper was a vegetarian, and Aunora still wasn't quite sure how he felt about cheese, so she wanted to make him something he would like. She dug her nails into the skin, clumsily tugging it from the tender fruit inside. By the time Aunora managed to completely peel it, the orange looked like it had been butchered. Shamefully, Aunora dropped the tattered fruit onto the prettiest plate she could find.

"Hey, squirt," Aunora said with a forced playfull tone, tapping Victor on the shoulder, "Lunch is ready!"

Aunora spread another smiley face of cheese onto Victor's sandwich and dropped it in front of her son. Victor slowly raised his head, not returning his meal's smile. Aunora's heart dropped into her stomach when she saw the dark bags that had amassed under his eyes. He looked terrible.

"I'm gonna go give Esper his lunch, okay?" Aunora said nervously, shuffling on her feet, "Make sure you two eat all of that. But, uh, I'll make you something else if you get hungry later. I'll just have to figure it out."

As Aunora stumbled up the stairs, her knuckles were white against Esper's pink plate. I'm really bad at this, Aunora thought, I can't even cook my kids a proper meal. What kind of parent am I? I'm not fit for this. I can't believe I thought I could even be a mom.

Aunora sniffled, wiping her nose before knocking on Umbra's bedroom door. "Esper?" she said softly, hoping her voice didn't crack.

"Come on in," Esper called.

Aunora pushed open the door, seeing Esper sitting on Umbra's bed. Umbra was asleep, snoring lightly beside him.

"His infection flared up again. But I think he'll be fine in a little bit. He just needs to sleep off this fever," Esper observed.

"I brought you something to eat," Aunora said awkwardly, holding up the plate.

Esper slipped to her side, running his hands over the orange. "Oh, my favorite," he said with a smile, popping a slice into his mouth. "How are you doing? We didn't get to talk much last night. I was too tired."

"Matthew went home. I think I'm a bad mom." Aunora crossed her arms.

"Well, you're thinking wrong, Aunora," Esper said simply, touching her on the shoulder, "You're doing the best you can. You're not used to housework, and that's okay."

"One time I tried keeping flowers back in Ereith. Remember that?" Aunora muttered, "They died. And then some animal came by and ate them."

"Surely you're not trying to relate your lack of a green thumb to your maternal skills?"

"But I have a point! I can't care for things! I don't know how Umbra and Matthew do it! Taking care of kids is hard, and scary! I'm scared they're just gonna turn out like my flowers!" Aunora clenched her fists, "I'm a predator, Esper! I never got those lovey-dovey maternal instincts! I can fight for these kids all day, but I can't even tuck them in at night or fix them lunch! I'm a failure!"

Esper grabbed Aunora's hand, loosening her fist. "Aunora, listen. You're being too hard on yourself. I find it highly impossible that you're the only demon horse ever that couldn't be a mom."

"What if Victor and Seraph are disappointed in me?"

"They're not, Aunora. They love you. They don't expect you to be perfect, and you shouldn't expect yourself to be perfect either." Esper smiled at her, wrapping Aunora in a hug. "You love these kids, and you're caring for them the best you can. That's what matters. That's what makes you a good mom."

Aunora dragged her sleeve across her eye, drying a stray tear. "You're still sixteen, right?"

Esper paused. "Mentally, yes."

"You're way too freaking smart for your age."

Author's Note- this was actually supposed to be shorter and something else was gonna happen. had to move that stuff to the next chapter since this ran over :/ but i value characterization and feel that fleshing out my characters with their own struggles and whatever makes a better story, even if it makes this book a little longer! im sure you guys dont mind length lol