⌜ chapter eighteen ⌟

"Keep him alive." Kirigan tells his Heartrender, looking down at Mal and Alina who are laying on the deck. "It'll keep her useful to us." He throws Mals's gun over the side of the skiff before telling Alina that she needs to focus on maintaining the light that's protecting all of them.

Arya watches as Inej goes after a male Heartrender, telling a female Squaller to get the skiff out of the Fold. He disarms her and then slams her on her back, holding her by her throat as he pins her to the deck.

"You think I need special power to end your life, Wraith?" He questions, and Arya jumps to grab the side of the landing that they're on, then she pulls herself over.

She tackles him to a lower landing, and he hits the deck with his back. She raises the blade that she's been carrying, but he catches her wrists when she swings it down. He groans as he fights to keep the blade away from his body. He moves her hands to the side as they slam down, and the blade implants in the wood near his head.

"You're the Otherworlder." He says as he looks at her, knocking her off of him. "Unfortunately, I can't kill you."

"Well, now I feel special." She smiles. "Inej, keep her clear."

"Got it."

"But I can still hurt you." The Heartrender says as he gets to his feet.

"I'm terrified." Arya mutters before lunging at him again.

His back hits the side of the skiff, and he grunts. Then she hits him in the face, and he recovers quickly, then he rushes her and tackles her to the deck. They land with a thud, and Arya groans as she rolls to the side. He grabs her leg, pressing hard on the cut that Kirigan made with his shadows, and she screams in pain as she twists back. Arya then slams her elbow into the side of his head as Jesper and Kaz come up through the hatch.

"That was a cheap shot." She mutters as she gets to her feet. "Mal!" She yells, and he turns from where he's still laying at the front of the skiff.

"Left side!" He calls to her as Jesper fires off a shot, hitting the Heartrender that's been staying with Kirigan to protect him.

Kirigan turns a shadow into a blade and launches it at Jesper, but Kaz grabs him and moves them just in time. The shadow hits the right side of the skiff as Arya picks up the chain that Mal stashed there when they first boarded. She knew that it'd make too much noise to keep on her.

"No, not her!" The general stops his Heartrender from using his power on Arya as she starts swinging the chain in her hand. And then the skiff starts moving again. "Zoya!"

Kaz watches as the Heartrender that Arya's been fighting rushes her again, and she whips the chain out. It hits his hands, which he raised despite their orders not to kill her, and he screams when the metal clips his flesh. Her head moves back, and the chain misses her, then she redirects its spin. She hits the Heartrender in the head with the end of the chain, and he goes down immediately.

"Told you I can make anything a weapon." Arya says as she looks over at Kaz.

Her gaze moves back to the front of the skiff when she hears something whizz through the air, and then one of Inej's knives embeds itself in Kirigan's chest. She looks mildly horrified as black veins run up his neck toward his face, and then he pulls the knife from his chest.

"It will take more than this!" He throws the blade down onto the deck behind him, and Arya pulls her gun as the Heartrender at her feet starts to get up.

"Still wanna fight, huh?" She sighs. "You know, I don't want to kill you."

"Well, I want to kill you." He says as he gets to his feet. He takes a step toward her, and then a gunshot puts him down.

Arya looks over to see Kaz with one of Jesper's guns. "I didn't know you knew how to use those."

Before he can reply, the shadows surrounding the skiff engulf them again, and they both look around. They're back inside the Fold, no longer shielded by Alina's power, which means the volcra can get to them.

"That's not good." The brunette mutters, and then she hears Inej and Zoya above them. "Get the sharpshooter back in the game, will you?"

Kaz looks back at Arya as she takes her gun and the chain and heads back to the higher landings to see how the other two girls are doing. Inej is trying to protect Zoya, who's unconscious on the floor. Multiple gunshots ring out above Kaz, and then he hears Arya yell, "We need Zoya up!"

The screeches of the volcra continue, and Arya manages to pull her knife from the deck where she lost it during her fight with the Heartrender. Once she runs out of bullets, she launches the knife at a volcra's head, and it falls from the air to land on the dirt below.

"Oh, shit." Arya exhales when one lands on the railing in front of her; Inej gets down lower, staying with Zoya. The volcra crawls at Arya, snapping its jaws as she presses her back into the railing behind her.

Kaz suddenly runs up from the right and stabs his cane into the volcra's head; the crow's beak tears at the creature's flesh. It screeches as it backs away from them, but doesn't leave the far rail as it then shakes its head. Arya now has enough space to swing the chain, and Kaz quickly moves out of her way. The creature opens its mouth as it lets out another deafening screech, and Arya lets the chain fly.

The three of them watch as the chain goes straight into the volcra's mouth, and its momentum forces the creature off balance. It falls back, and Kaz looks back at Arya as she sinks against the railing, letting out a sigh of relief. He rushes over to her, and she looks up at him.

"Okay." Arya nods. "You're forgiven. So, if we die, there you go."

"That's encouraging." He mutters as he looks around, keeping her close to him as they look around for any other threats.

"That's all I got." She tells him. "Inej?"

"She's alive, but she's still unconscious." Inej tells them, still kneeling down beside Zoya.

The light suddenly stretches past them again, protecting everyone from the Fold, and the three of them look down to see Alina standing above Kirigan. He's crouched down, and he pulls a knife from his hand.

"How do you claim such power?" He questions. "I am the one who killed the Stag."

"What a dick." Arya mutters, and Kaz smirks as he looks down at her.

"I didn't understand before, but now I do." Alina tells him. "You cannot claim what was not given to you. The Stag chose me." She says, and then the bones sticking out of her collar bone sink in.

"That's nasty." The brunette looks away for a moment, resting her forehead against Kaz's arm, which actually amuses him.

"You chose...to betray our people." Kirigan says as he gets to his feet. "I was trying to save us." He raises his hand into the air, but Mal tackles him over the side of the skiff before he can do anything to hurt Alina.

"No!" Alina runs to look over at them. "Mal!"

Arya tries to rush forward, wanting to help Mal, but Kaz gets in her way. He pins her against the railing as his hands rest on either side of her, keeping her in place, and she looks up at him with a furrowed brow.

"What are you doing?" Arya questions.

"How many times do you have to almost die before you'll stay out of one fight?" Kaz asks as he looks down at her.

"Yeah, uh... It's not really in my genes." The brunette shakes her head, and then they both look when the light's no longer protecting them and gunshots echo through the Fold.

Kirigan's Heartrender went after Alina, but Jesper took care of him, throwing him overboard on the side opposite Mal and Kirigan. Arya looks back at the two who are still fighting, and she tries to go to help Mal, but Kaz stops her again.

"Can't you just stay here?" He asks, and she sighs as she looks up at him.

"Kaz, I promised I would help him." She says. "We're supposed to go after Kirigan together."

"She's awake." Inej says suddenly, and Kaz looks back at them, seeing her help Zoya to her feet as Arya looks over to Mal and Kirigan again.

"I recommend we get moving." Kaz tells the Squaller.

"Way ahead of you." Arya says, and he turns just in time to see her jump over the railing. He tries to reach out and grab her, but she's already landing on the lower level.

"Not you." He groans as he watches her jump over the side of the skiff and land in the dirt below.

Arya runs over and tackles Kirigan away from Mal, who's laying unmoving on the ground. She and the general roll across the dirt, and then she pushes herself up as he lands on his back. The brunette stomps her foot into his injured hand, and he screams out in pain.

General Kirigan barely manages to take her down, hitting her knee to make her collapse. A bullet then hits his kefta, preventing him from furthering his attack. He's having to block multiple more bullets as she gets up and moves to stand beside Mal, who's still shooting at him.

"I have survived for centuries." Kirigan says as he looks between the two of them. "Did you really think you could kill me?"

"I don't have to kill you, Darkling." Mal tells him. "Your past will do it for me." He says as he lowers the gun, and a volcra comes out of the shadows and attacks.

"I like poetic justice." Arya nods. "Now let's get back on the skiff."

"Mhm."

Once they're back on deck, Mal passes his second gun to Arya and then he runs for Alina, who's unconscious on the floor. Arya cocks the gun in her hand as she stops next to Kaz near the side of the skiff, and he looks down at the brunette.

"What happened?" Mal asks as he scoops Alina into his arms.

"It was Kirigan's Heartrender." Inej tells him.

"You're incredibly infuriating." Kaz says, and Arya nods as she looks up at him.

"Thank you." She chuckles.

"You are always running into fights while you're still injured from other ones?" He asks, and she nods. "How are you still alive?"

"No idea."

Mal's begging Alina to wake up as he holds her, and Arya pulls Kaz toward her as a volcra swoops by overhead. The fingers of her right hand are curled around his black coat as his arm instinctively wraps around her, hearing the creatures that are surrounding them as some move in closer. The brunette raises the gun in her left hand before firing off a shot, killing a volcra that was headed straight for her and Kaz.

"Mal." Alina exhales, finally opening her eyes.

"I'm here." He smiles through his tears. "Don't you dare say meet me at the meadow."

Her hand suddenly shoots into the air, and soon the skiff is completely surrounded by light once again. The volcra screech as they fly away, and then Zoya gets them outside of the Fold.

» » » « « «

"I can't see anything past the damn fog and clouds." Arya mutters from where she's laying on the ground next to where Jesper's sitting, staring up at the gray sky. She knows that it's way too early to see the stars anyway, but she doesn't like the overcast.

"You know what I saw?" He smirks as he looks at her.

"Shut up, Jesper."

"I saw forgiveness." He chuckles, not caring that he can hear Kaz walking up behind him. "You two seemed pretty cozy for someone who's pissed at him for what he did."

"I forgave him for leaving me alone against Kirigan after he saved me from being a volcra's dinner. You would've known if you hadn't been taking a nap while the rest of us were trying not to die." She tells him, and Mal chuckles as he looks over at them.

"Don't encourage her." Jesper shoots him a dirty look. "I'm still mad at you for taking Milo's bullet, by the way."

"Shut up." She shoves him as she sits up, and he then gets to his feet before turning to his boss, who then hands him the duffle bag with their spare clothes.

"I've never met a Saint before." Inej says as she looks at Alina.

"I've never been a Saint before." The Sun Summer tells her, and she places her hand over hers, which is resting on Inej's arm.

"Where you are, whatever you need...my hand is yours."

"I think I like that hand with a dagger in it." Alina says before moving to grab something. "I couldn't hold onto yours, so take mine as a replacement. It's not much, but it'll fend off a bully or two." She tells her, and Inej smiles as she looks down at the blade in her hand.

"I know just what to name it."

"Step one for any good plan, a change of clothes." Jesper holds the bag out toward Mal, and he stands to take it from him. "It's worked for me."

"Thank you." Mal says.

"So..." Alina looks between Kaz and Arya. "Will you still be trying to kidnap me?"

"I don't feel like fighting the guy I was just fighting alongside." The brunette says as she looks over at Mal. "You weren't half bad, by the way. Are you a soldier?"

"I was." He nods. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

She smiles. "My father." She tells him before looking over at Kaz. "I believe the girl who just saved our asses asked you a question." Arya says, and he looks at her.

"'Course not." Jesper answers when Kaz doesn't remove his gaze from the brunette.

"Have you two found religion too?" Kaz questions, and Arya chuckles.

"No, it's just..." He sighs. "I'm exhausted. Besides... Arya's right, it'd be bad form to kidnap someone after they saved your life, wouldn't it?"

"Arya's always right." Arya says, her gaze still on Kaz. "We should listen to her more often."

"Was she right to leave us in that barn while we slept?" He asks, his blue eyes still on her as she looks down at the grass beneath their feet.

"Yes." She nods as she looks back at him. "And I won't be staying either."

"You can't leave again." Jesper argues, and she takes a deep breath before turning and walking a few feet away from them, not wanting to be a part of the conversation anymore.

Alina gives Kaz an ornate hairpiece that's worth a lot of money as a bribe to keep quiet about who she is and where she and Mal go from here. He makes the deal, and then she and Mal go to change into new clothes.

"That man." Jesper calls, and Arya turns her head, but doesn't look at him. "He knows your family. He knew the people you said died in an explosion. He's the reason you left us, isn't he?"

She walks back over, her gaze not meeting any of theirs. Instead, she stares at the fire as she speaks. "I was with my father and some friends of ours... We were on a job, and it was...the most dangerous one any of us had been on. We were losing, we had been losing for months, and I... I let my anger get the best of me. I knew I was outmatched by a longshot, but I was so angry.

"I was getting played, and I knew it. I was screwed, and I was scared...and I was just so angry. I knew that everything I had was on the brink of disappearing, and I knew that I couldn't win. So I was gonna fight and die for something that mattered. Of course, I was the only one okay with me dying for the cause. None of the others would let it happen...

"I walked into a fight outmatched and overpowered, and I didn't care. I was tired of being a pawn, of keeping secrets that were killing me. I ran at the monster, and Jo ran after me. It clawed her up so bad...we had to practically hold her together after my dad carried her to safety. She was bleeding out on the floor of some rundown store, and it was all my fault.

"But the job was still nowhere near done, and we couldn't walk away from it. We couldn't leave, couldn't help her, couldn't get her help. So we kept working while she promised us that she was fine, but we could see her slowly dying. We needed a distraction, so I helped rig the explosives while her mother sat with her...both of them sitting in her blood on the floor.

"Ellen was the one who showed me the song that I... And she's the one who detonated the bomb after we were in the clear. We were outside, and we felt the shockwave from the blast, saw the flames engulf the building with them still inside... Ellen wouldn't let her only daughter die alone, couldn't live in a world where her entire family was dead. It was my fault. I got them killed."

"You can't-"

"Don't, Jesper." Arya shakes her head as she turns away from them. "Please don't." She walks away from them again, stopping farther away than she had last time so she can't hear them talking anymore.

They all give her a bit of space before Jesper walks over to talk to her about what's going on. She wipes her tears, and he wraps his arm around her, pulling her to him. She tries to pull away at first, but gives up when he wraps his other arm around her as well. She leans into him, squeezing her eyes shut as he rubs her back, looking over toward the others.

"You should stay with us at least you're feeling better." He tells her. "I don't like that you want to leave again, but I understand. And I know it's your choice, but please don't go until you're feeling better. You need to heal."

Arya only nods in response, and then they walk back over to the others. Jesper's gaze flickers briefly to Zoya as she leaves their group, then he looks at Kaz. He nods, telling him that she's staying with them.

"It's a two-day walk to Os Kervo from here, given our condition." Kaz says.

"Two days as the crow walks." Jesper sighs as Arya rests her head on his shoulder.

"We can smuggle ourselves onto a ship to Ketterdam from there." He adds before he and Inej start kicking dirt onto the flames to smother them.

"I hate walking." Arya mutters as she and Jesper keep pace with Alina and Mal; Kaz and Inej are following behind them.

"I'm not carrying you." Jesper tells her, and she smirks.

Two days travel passes excruciatingly slow, but then they're at the docks in Os Kervo. The group boards the ship, and Arya inhales the ocean air as she follows behind her friends. Mal and Alina break away from the other four.

"We set out with a clear mission, a prize of a million kruge." Jesper's saying as they walk onto the ship and then sit down; he and Inej are across from Kaz and Arya. "And two new members on our crew. So... What did we learn?"

"Besides that you never shut up?" Arya questions, and Inej chuckles.

"People with trains are evil. The new brunette is smart, scary, sexy, badass...and evil." He shoots Arya a dirty look, and she smirks.  "You can't kidnap a human sunbeam."

"Amen to that one." She mutters as she looks down at her still-bandaged right hand.

"And maybe, just maybe...greed is a poor motivator."

"Aw, the baby's growing up." Arya teases as her gaze returns to him, and he kicks her in retaliation. "Bitch." She hisses and she leans down and rubs her shin.

"True wealth is the friends you make along the way." Jesper continues.

"I just might be impressed." Inej smirks as she looks at him.

"I'm still gonna puke." Arya shakes her head as she sits up straight, and Kaz smirks as his blue eyes turn to her.

"I'm talking of Milo, of course." Jesper adds, and Inej glares at him. He winks, causing her to smile as she looks at him. "But I won't have my smelly friend when walking into Ketterdam."

"Where Dreesen is waiting for our return." Inej says, and Kaz nods.

"And Pekka Rollins." Kaz says, and Arya takes a deep breath as she looks at him.

"They'll both want our heads once we show up without the Sun Summoner."

"Well, I'm sure the boss has a plan." Jesper tells Inej before letting out a nervous chuckle. "He wouldn't send us into a death trap. Tell me you have a plan. I don't care if it's a lie."

"I have a plan." Kaz nods. "And, just how this all started... We're gonna need a Heartrender."

"Milana?"

"No." He shakes his head. "For this to work, it has to be someone neither of them know. Someone desperate for work, with loyalties only to us."

"It'll be a long passage without that wine shipment." A man says as they pass them.

"Have a heart." Another man tells him. "Novokribirsk in is ruins. Their Sun Saint is dead."

"Excuse me." A woman sitting near them leans over after the men pass. "Is what he said true?"

"I don't know if she's dead." Kaz tells her. "But she is a Saint." He adds, and she nods as she then looks away from them.

Once they're sailing, Arya walks over to look out at the water. It actually seems like a nice day, a nice break from how things have been lately. The waters are calm, there are no choppy waves to make the journey difficult. Kaz walks over, standing a bit closer than he usually places himself.

"You know, I think I actually kinda hate the open water." She can feel his gaze on her face, but she can't bring herself to look up at him just yet. "I'd never seen the ocean before the first time we crossed, but I guess it was a given considering I hate lakes, and rivers...anything deeper than a bathtub really. Probably a side effect of almost drowning when I was a kid."

"How old were you?"

"I don't know." She shakes her head. "Whatever the answer is, I felt younger while I was under. Or maybe I just felt hopeless."

"You are a lot of things. Hopeless isn't one of them." He tells her, and she scoffs.

"I think we've already had that conversation."

"And what conversation do you want to have this time?" Kaz asks, but she just stares out at the water. "I know there's something on your mind."

"I can't stay with you guys after we're docked in Ketterdam." She says as she turns to look up at him. "I have to be on my own. It's the only way that I'll get home."

"We can help you." He says, and she shakes her head.

"You can't...because I won't leave if you're there." Arya tells him. "And I have to go back. I have to. I have to see my brothers' graves for myself. I have to kill Katherine. I have to find my father."

"You're worried about him."

"He has nightmares about hell and the time that he spent there. And if he's really so desperate that he was willing to go back just to have a piece of...before back..." She takes a deep breath as she fights back tears. "I can't let him do anything like that again. Because Crowley will take advantage of another opportunity. And I can't let him go back."

"I understand." He nods. "But are you sure you'll be alright on your own?"

"Yeah." She nods. "I'm pretty resourceful...or so I like to think."

"You are." He tells her, and she offers him a small smile. "Will you promise me something?"

"Maybe."

"If anything happens, and you can't get through it alone...come find me." He tells her. "There will always be a place for you with us."

"You mean any more injuries like this?" She looks down at her gauzed hand. "It's more annoying than it is painful. Which is kinda surprising."

Kaz places his gloved-palm over hers, carefully curling his fingers around her hand as he looks down at her. "Promise me, Arya." He says, and he can see the surprise in her eyes as her green ones meet his blue ones.

"I promise...if I need help, I'll find you." She tells him, and he nods before turning his gaze to the ocean. She takes a deep breath as she looks down; her eyes land on their hands again. After a moment of hesitation, she pulls his hand up higher and presses a soft kiss to the back of his glove, causing him to return his gaze to her. "Goodbye, Kaz." Arya whispers before letting go of his hand and moving past him.