Book: The Russian Way

Author: Infanta2021

Genre: Romance, Mafia

COVER

So I'm going to start this review with the cover. To be honest, I wasn't a big fan of it. It didn't really appeal to me. I could only see the words 'Way' the rest was to light too read and also it didn't say your authors name on it. No matter how good your story is, if your cover is not attractive than it will be hard to get readers. I'm sure you can find many graphic and cover shops out there to make your covers, but my covers shop is always open for you and you can request on there. Just take a peek at the examples and see if you like any <33

BLURB

The blurb is the thing than hooks your reader and makes them want to adventure into your story and give it a read. Your blurb was good, but I think you could do better and use a better range words to improve it. 

Such as, instead of: 'This story is about two Russian people fall in love. A girl name Tatiana is a college student and wants to be a nurse and she is the sweetest girl ever, her parents died in a car accident and Tatiana has to survive to keep everything safe. Not until her life changes forever. Adrian is one of the most powerful Mafias in the world and no one messes with her. He sells drugs and guns. He never fell in love and only uses girls for sex. But when he sees Tatiana he wants her to be his wife. Will she excepts it or will she hates him?'

You could say: 'Tatiana Sokolova, having ambitions of becoming a nurse and excelling at collage, she was the sweetest person you would ever meet. That was after her parents died in a tragic car accident and she was left to fend for herself. Just as things calm down, her life takes a tragic turn, changing forever. Adrian Kuznetsov, leader of the powerful mafia leader in the world. Selling drugs and guns, and using women as toys, he felt content with the life he lived. That is until he comes across a certain girl, who lights up his day and makes him think if he could ever love someone. What happens when the two meet?? 

You can copy this if you want...

CHARACTERS 

The characters were fine and I loved them but I noticed that you only put the main two characters in the beginning chapter and the rest in the middle of the story. I would recommend that you add all the characters at once at the starting chapter, so it doesn't disrupt the flow.

GRAMMAR AND VOCABULARY

Looking through these story chapters, the grammar was a bit off. The first grammar rule for example was that you didn't write a new line for every time someone spoke. It was all muddled up together and really hard to read. The second one was that you tend to use the word 'said' , 'and' and 'I' a lot, and it got a bit boring to be truthful. To avoid this is, use commas and a variety of different words. 

The vocabulary overall was a bit bland, if you used interesting words it would have been exciting and engaging. I recommend using a wider range of vocabulary to keep your book captivating. 

Original: I woke up and I looked at the clock and see that it was 8 'o' clock in the damn morning I woke up fast and said "Oh shit, I am late for class." I got to take a shower and I change into jeans and a shirt and my shoes. 

Edited: The edited version is in the brackets.

(Snapping open, my eyes hovered over my alarm clock, displaying the time of eight o clock.

"Oh, shit I'm late for class," I mumbled under the breath as I hobbled towards the bathroom and took a warm shower. Later I flung on a white hoodie, followed by a pair of dusty blue jeans and a pair of my favorite sneakers.)

One more thing is when you include music videos, insert it at the top, not the middle. It just looks more professional like that.   

Try to keep in one tense, either write the entire book in past tense or present tense.

OTHER

I recommend to not skip right to the part where they both meet, slowly built up to that point. Before she meets Adriane, you could make Tatiana mention to the readers about her parents and all that she went through, so when your readers find out who Adrian's prisoner is, it will really shock them.

You said that this is a mature and mafia book, so another idea you can do is to put a forced mature scene before they go to the ball. That way I guess Tatiana will slowly hate him more. But as the chapters progress make something happen like, maybe Adrian could save her life or something and slowly she realizes that he's not bad, and will slowly fall for him.

OVERALL

Overall, this was an enjoyable read, grammar and sentence structure was the main problem, but it was an amazing read. If you fix those tiny winy mistakes then it will be awesome. Good luck with your future works <33

NOTE

Tell me what you think of this review? Was I too blunt or harsh?? Also share this book with people you think would want a summary for their book...