The faces in the crowd are thinning out,

And I'm not saying stick around, but stick around,

And we may never have another like today,

Tomorrow is brand new start away,

And we'll never be as young as we are now, as we are now.

- "As We Are Now" || Saint Raymond

__

"How're you liking the view, eh? In light of your current, y'know, 'situation,' Jesse and I got you the hottest seat in the house: back here with us. That's real. That's some friendship, dude."

Zayn grins as Zach leads him backstage in the tiny nightclub. The place is packed, the black floor and black walls and black stage and black bar all illuminated beneath multicolored lights all changing tempo and all changing hue with each song change and thumping beat. There are twenty minutes until the boys go on for their set, and people are dancing in the crowds and they're pushing to be served at an even more crowded bar and this - all of these people in this tiny, two-story club - has got to make up one of the biggest shows Jesse and Zach and their band will have played all semester.

They're excited.

And because they're excited, Zayn's trying. He's trying to find reason to stay and support his friends and he's trying to find reason to smile and laugh at jokes being tossed around as the boys ready themselves for their set. He's trying not to look around the club for any familiar faces and he's trying even harder to remember why he's angry with Anais.

He's trying to remember that she wants Lucky, instead.

And when Anais enters the club, she lets out a small sigh of disappointment because she's there for around twenty minutes and still hasn't caught sight of Zayn. She's seen Louis, of course, and Liam and Niall and she's standing between Harry and Magdalena as they wait for The NBHD to finally start their set.

"Y'alright, Ana?" Magdalena asks, nudging her as they check coats and filter into the crowds forming in front of the stage.

Anais nods, "Yeah. Fine, why?"

"You're quiet," Magdalena says. And, she cocks her head. "Too quiet. You're never quiet, Anais."

She grins. "Just looking for Zayn, y'know?" She scans the faces around her. "I thought he'd be here."

"Ah, ah, ah," Magdalena grins. "Looking for your man?" She folds her arms. "Looking for your boyfriend, Anais?"

She rolls her eyes with a flip of her hair. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Yeah, yeah," Magdalena snorts. "How long are you gonna tell me that lie?"

Anais laughs, again. Magdalena has a way of always making her laugh and making her feel better. "Whatever, Mags. I thought we'd been over this."

"Uh, yeah. At the beginning of the semester?" She snorts, "Yeah. And I thought you'd understood by now that absolutely no one believes you."

And Anais has nothing to say to that as Magdalena laughs beside her, taking her hand and dragging her closer to the stage.

Anais is still scanning the faces in the crowd.

"I'm sure he'll be here," Magdalena says, with a reassuring squeeze of her hand. "I mean, c'mon," she adds upon Anais look of hesitation, "It's Zach and Jesse. I doubt they'd let him stay home and miss this."

And Anais nods. "True," she replies, because there's no way the boys would let Zayn of all people skip out on them playing this club.

So, Anais stops searching. Well, she tries, as the deejay continues to play music as the band sets up.

Anais is relaxing, slowly, because if Zayn isn't coming then she can at least try to let loose and forget about all of the stupid shit and the mistakes she's made and just not worry about anything for the next few hours that she's in this small club in Brooklyn.

Zayn's spotted Anais the moment she'd walked into the club.

He sees her trail behind Magdalena and Soo and Zayn is staring at her. He's watching the way she shakes off her heavy coat at coat check to reveal a small black dress he almost doesn't appreciate her wearing tonight because it's got all eyes on her.

He watches her eyes scan the room, head on a swivel as if she's looking for someone. He wonders who she's looking for. He wonders if she's looking for Lucky.

Zayn wonders if Anais has thought about him at all today.

"C'mon, c'mon," Magdalena exclaims, tugging Anais and Cara through the crowds. Jesse and Zach and the boys have played through four songs and an encore because they were so good and the crowd ate them up and now, had finally gone backstage to clean up and end their set. "Let's go congratulate them."

Cara fans herself. "Can I get air?"

"Can I get water?" Adds Anais.

"You guys suck," Magdalena replies, since both Soo and Chanel had watched from the table the rest of their friends were populating on the balcony. "You can get both of those things once we congratulate the boys."

Cara laughs. "I'm not dating a band member, remember?"

And Anais nods. "Neither am I," and she reaches out in that moment and grabs the girl walking towards them. "Take Jourdan," she exclaims.

"Whaaa-?" Jourdan's brow furrows immediately as Anais drags her through the crowds.

The deejay is setting up, again.

"What the hell's going on?"

Magdalena rolls her eyes. "These two won't come with me backstage."

Jourdan folds her arms. "Can we even go backstage, Magda?"

"Of course we can," she snorts, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.

"Only 'cause Mags' like, First Lady to the band," Cara grins, to which Magdalena rolls her eyes. "She can do a whole bunch of shit we can't."

"Look," Magdalena says, "I just wanna congratulate my boyf-" She shakes her head, hoping her friends didn't really catch that because it's so loud in here, dammit. "Jesse," she clarifies. "I just wanna congratulate Jesse."

Jourdan shrugs. "Alright, I'll come."

Magdalena claps her hands together. "Yay! Real friends!"

Anais and Cara both groan, rolling their eyes.

"Whatever," Cara retorts. "I'm getting air."

"I'll be at the bar," Anais sings, and before she leaves, she grabs for her friends' wrists and brings them close. "We can talk about Jesse being you boyfriend another time, right?"

Jourdan's eyes widen and Cara's narrow.

"Really?" She exclaims. "Really, Mags? When the fuck were you gonna tell us that?"

And Magdalena is glaring at Anais as she laughs, excusing herself from her friends because she'd been dancing nonstop for nearly the past hour and she's not only thirsty, but she could really use a seat.

So, she makes her way through the crowds towards the bar.

Zayn spots Magdalena and Jourdan making their way backstage and wonders where the hell Anais is since she'd been with Mags all night and now, she wasn't.

"Zayn!" Magdalena exclaims, as she slips her hand from Jourdan's to throw them around his neck.

He chuckles, pulling back to greet the other girl at her side. "Hey, guys. Enjoy the show?"

"Of course they did," answers Jesse, as he runs a hand through his hair and grins at Magdalena. She only laughs, rolling her eyes and then crossing the floor towards him until his hands have fallen upon her waist and she's been scooped up into his arms.

And Zayn can't even describe how he feels, watching the two of them together. He's happy, of course, but he's trying to ignore that small pang of jealousy as Magdalena attempts to squirm out of Jesse's arms, and he takes her face between his fingers and places a kiss upon her lips...

"Get a room," calls Jourdan, and as Zayn snorts, Jourdan nudges him. "Now you see how we feel watching you and Anais," she says, rolling her eyes with a laugh. "Always so...much...love..."

"What's wrong with the love?" Zach asks, throwing up his arms as the rest of the boys filter into the room. "I love love. You should love love too, both of you."

Jourdan rolls her eyes. "You're so corny, Zach," she laughs, and as she picks her way towards him, she halts her stride, tapping Zayn's shoulder. "Ana's by the bar," and she adds with a little, knowing smile, "by the way."

"Yeah, uh...thanks," he nods, watching as conversation proceeds to flow between Zach and Jourdan, and he's realized that Magdalena and Jesse are in their own world, so no one would notice him slip quietly from the door backstage and let his eyes scan the bar.

He spots her, sitting upon a stool with her little black dress and those boots he realizes she wore that time with his shirt and his jumper and his scarf.

She's alone, no one seated on either side of her, and Zayn finds himself moving towards her, attempting to fill up one of the two empty seats before someone else does first.

He tells himself that he's trying to talk to her because he needs the closure. He reinforces his belief that he can just be her friend and he doesn't care who the fuck she dates and why the fuck should he care who it is as he pushes through the crowds and keeps his eyes trained on her and makes sure she isn't getting up or no one's taking his seat and that she really is still alone...

Anais turns immediately as the black stool on her left swings, someone's knees bumping her hip as she looks up and sees Zayn getting comfortable beside her.

"Zayn," she exclaims and kind of gasps, because she's gone from believing him to be anywhere else and now here he is right beside her. "I didn't know you were here! Did you just get here?"

He snorts, shaking his head and running his hand through his hair. "Hello to you too, Anais," and before she can respond to this, he motions to the bartender headed their way and asks, "What'll you have?"

"Uh..." Anais is still surprised to be sitting next to him. "Just water," she says.

He laughs. "Really, Ana? That's it?"

Anais pauses. She can tell that something isn't exactly right with him, tonight...like, like there's something bothering him, but he looks really good and she can't help but stare at his tattooed arms as he pushes up his sleeves and adjusts his weight upon his elbows. "Strawberry Margarita," she says on impulse, knowing good and well that she hadn't intended to drink much tonight.

Zayn nods, however, lifting his finger in acknowledgement as the bartender makes his way towards them.

"What'll you have?"

"A Strawberry Margarita and a -"

"Zayn! Don't!" She didn't expect him to buy her drinks, "You don't have to -'

"And a Jack Daniels?" He finishes, nodding at the bartender. "Thanks, mate."

"Zayn," Anais shakes her head. He really didn't have to buy her a drink, honestly. "You really didn't have to do-"

"Heard you went out with Lucky."

The abuptness of that statement startles Anais. She's almost like, "What the fuck?" but instead, she nods slowly, watching as his eyes remain on the bartender. He doesn't look her way.

"I did..." She replies slowly, the thought of her lunch with Lucky suddenly flooding back to her and making her upset, all of a sudden.

But, Zayn? Asking about Lucky?

Where is this going?

Now, Zayn turns abruptly, staring at her as his angry eyes change colors beneath the flashing lights. "Like, there's got to be more to that statement."

"That depends..." Anais replies slowly, mouth turning down in a slight frown as she pulls backwards on instinct, because now, she can tell he's in one of his moods and she really isn't trying to argue. If anything she's trying to apologize to Zayn tonight, now that he's here, and she's decided to shrug off this tone of his, because instead, Anais would much rather clear her conscience, so she takes the beat of silence that follows as he takes his receipt from the bartender and fills out his signature as her opportunity to say the two words that she'd told herself she'd say to Zayn with the first opportunity she'd be given: I'm sorry.

"Look, Zayn, I - "

"What about Lucky, Anais?"

"I mean..." Anais watches him intently. She's confused as to why of all things he'd like to talk about this topic now.

Tonight.

Or ever, really.

She laughs. "What else could you honestly wanna know about Lucky? His birthday?" She teases. "Favorite color? Clothing brand? Hair gel?"

"What else do I wanna know? Zayn barks out a short laugh that does not meet his eyes. "This some kinda joke?"

"I mean," Anais doesn't know if he's teasing or if he's serious. "Yes?" She replies, and upon this new scowl of his she quickly adds, "Are you feeling alright, Zayn?"

"Me?" Zayn exclaims, as the bartender brings their drinks, "Are you serious, Anais?"

"I mean, since when do you care about Lucky?" She exclaims, and she leans toward him, shaking her head in disbelief. "Honestly, Zayn. Are you sure you're okay? What's going on, tonight?"

"What? Me?" He exclaims, again.

Anais is so very confused. She doesn't get why they're talking about Lucky. She doesn't get what's got Zayn so upset.

Honestly, Anais looks around the club. She's searching for Niall or Zach or anyone she might be able to grab in that moment to explain to her why Zayn is acting the way he is becasue she is very obviously not picking up on something big.

She turns her straw slowly in her margarita, fingering the salt along the rim. "Am I missing something?"

And Zayn laughs bitterly. "Wow," he says. "Wow, Ana. Seriously?"

"I mean..."

He shakes his head. "Un-fucking-believable."

"Zayn, did I -" And she bites her tongue, almost asking if she's the reason he's upset, but then again, she's pretty sure she is. She's honestly just hoping that someone tells her exactly what it is she can apologize for, because she's already got apologizing to do.

She doesn't have to wait long.

"Y'know, it's barely been a month," he states, swirling his whiskey around in his glass. "A month, Anais," He exclaims, because now, the words are just coming. "Like, it's been three weeks," he laughs bitterly. "Y'know, it's been actually only twenty-six days," he says, turning to stare at her with a furrowed brow, tone laced with a thickness and a slight plead that he'd fervently deny because he's over this girl, of course. "Twenty-six, Anais. D'you know that? Did you know that? Doesn't that mean anything to you?" He implores.

"Of course it do-"

"Don't we mean..." His jaw clenches.

"Don't we mean, what?"

He ignores this. "Tell me if you're moving on, then," he says, angry that she looks so beautiful and furious with himself for wanting to kiss her. Why the fuck is he so angry? Why can't he stop fucking talking? "Tell me so I can do something about it, Ana, 'cause," he shakes his head, "'cause..."

"Zayn," Anais gulps. "Zayn, stop for a second, please?"

He lets out a short laugh, "'Cause already," he continues, "already you've run off, haven't you? Have you? Have you really found someone else, already, and gone on a date with the one fucking prick that I-?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Anais shakes her head.

Okay.

Wait.

What?

Now, she's starting to understand where all of that has come from.

"Zayn," she exclaims, reaching out and placing her hand on his knee. "Zayn, stop. Who the hell told you I went on a date with Lucky?"

He opens his mouth to speak and respond when he instantly remembers Cara's words. "No one - Look," he shakes his head, downing his drink, "Doesn't matter."

"I'm not dating anyone," she clarifies, continuing, "I didn't go out on a date with Lucky. I met him for lunch and we talked and that's it, got it?" She shakes her head, throwing her hair back tiredly. She chuckles. "I didn't go on a date," she laughs, "I didn't even eat. You're the last person I've dated."

He stares at her, disbelief clear across his face. "You didn't?"

And now, Anais sighs, "I mean, really? Jesus, Zayn, I'd never do that to you," her eyes flash. "Never."

Zayn rubs his eyes. He's thinking of leaving, because now he's just completely embarrassed himself in front of Anais.

Fuckin' hell, since when is Cara actually right?

"Fuck," he mutters, letting his hands trail slowly from his face. "Fuck."

And Anais turns back to her drink, smiling a little as she stirs it with her straw. She's trying not to laugh at the same time she remembers why she wanted to see him in the first place.

"Zayn, I-"

"Ana?" Zayn says at once, bringing his foot down before her, turning the stool so she's not only facing him, but she also can't leave.

"Uh..." She looks around the bar as she spins around to face him. "Uh...Yes?"

"What'd you..." He runs a hand across his face. "What'd you talk about - the two of you?"

Anais stares at him, long and hard.

Why are they still on Lucky?

"Ana," he shakes his head. "Look, like, please just answer the question?"

"Zayn," now, she shakes her head, because no offense, but she's had enough talk about Lucky, today. "Since when does Lucky matter so much to you?"

"Well," he replies, voice clipped, "possibly since he's been intent upon ruining one of the best things to happen to me. So, it's been pretty damn recent, actually."

Anais' eyes widen momentarily, because she has to admit, that response was kind of a turn on and definitely not what she was expecting.

"We talked about Soo's..."

Zayn lifts a brow. "Yeah?"

Anais nods. "Yeah."

And neither of them have noticed the people coming and going, ordering drinks and flirting and dancing in the cramped spaces around them. Each of the two, of both Anais and Zayn, keeps their eyes on their drinks during this interim this beat of personal thought that follows beneath these multicolored lights and pulsating beat of the house music.

Zayn's fingers tap against his glass.

Anais sips her margarita.

After a while, after what seems like an endless pause, they both look up.

"Look, Zayn - "

"Anais, I - "

And her eyes widen and a small smile replaces her frown because they've both spoken simultaneously.

Zayn leans towards her to, as, he justifies in his mind, hear her better.

Because it's loud in the club, of course.

"You go first," he says.

Anais notices at once how close they are, all of a sudden.

"Y'sure?"

He rolls his eyes, a very smile playing on his lips. "Go on. Say it, Anais."

"Yeah," she clears her throat. "Well," she turns her eyes away, "Look, I do have something to tell you, actually, and to be honest, I guess it," she groans, "it does have to do with Lucky."

Zayn's tiny smile falls. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Anais continues. "I guess if you really wanna know, I met up with Lucky 'cause I really needed to figure some shit out..."

Zayn turns away, wondering if he's ready for the direction this conversation is about to take.

"So," Anais says, "we talked, and talking wasn't really getting me anywhere, so I gave him an ultimatum, or something..." She shrugs, as Zayn's gaze meets hers. "I told him I was done with him if he couldn't respect our relationsh-" She shakes her head, clarifying, "my friendship with you, so..." Anais clears her throat as Zayn proceeds to stare at her, never once breaking eye contact. "And I guess things happen for a reason, right? It's a good thing I came here tonight, 'cause it's put me in a position to do something I should've done the day we volunteered at the daycare, and that's apologize," she clears her throat, again. "I'm sorry about him," she says. "He'd been my friend for ages, y'know? I mean, I didn't want to be that girl who just pushed everyone aside 'cause she'd finally got a boyfriend, and..." Anais shakes her head again, too. "Look, that's no excuse. He was so...I've been - no, I was a terrible girlfriend and I honestly don't know what to say except that I'm really so, so fuckin' sorry."

And there's a beat. A slight pause that has Anais holding her breath as Zayn furrows his brow and says, "Anais?"

Anais looks away. "Yeah?"

And Zayn does something that catches Anais off guard. She inhales sharply because instead of offering a response, Zayn's shifted forward, closing the distance between them, and without words or explanation, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her against him and into a hug.

Anais lets out a breath she hadn't known she was holding.

He starts rubbing slow circles along her back when Anais relaxes into him. She's wrapping her arms around his torso and forcing herself not to get caught up in her emotions because he smells like all the things she's missed, like that leather jacket and her favorite of his colognes and the faint remnants of cigarette smoke, as Zayn buries his head against her neck and shoulder.

"I'm sorry, too," Zayn says softly in her ear. "I wanna like..." He pauses. "I wanna just start over, y'know?"

Because he's over her, right?

He just wants closure, remember?

Anais pulls from his arms.

Begrudgingly, he lets her go, and she sits up and sticks out her hand.

"Hi," she smiles. "I'm Anais, and I've seen you before around campus, haven't I? You're that really hot bad boy from Arts, right? It's Zayn, isn't it?"

Zayn sticks his tongue in his cheek, reaching out to shake Anais' hand. "Zayn's right," he replies. "Think we're in Astronomy together, yeah?"

"Yes," Anais grins, laughing to clear her throat. "Yeah, that's it."

"We should be like, lab partners," Zayn says, dropping her hand and closing the space she's created between them. "Y'know, if you're good with that."

"I'm good with that," Anais taps her chin, as Zayn pulls her gently against him, again. "On one condition."

Zayn's brows raise. "Yeah?" He bites his lip. That hug should have segwayed into a kiss, in his opinion. "What's that, then?"

"It's pretty simple, really."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she says, taking one of his hands from around her waist to lace her fingers through his. "Come dance with me."

Zayn rubs his thumb across her knuckles. "S'all I've got to do?"

"Yes, please," she laughs. "That's all."

And Zayn doesn't dance, but he follows her, his hand in hers, and thinks that yeah.

Yeah.

This was probably what he needed.

Anais leads him onto the floor, and he can't help but think to that night they went for drinks after Niall's party. He can't help but think back on that date that wasn't exactly a date. It was a night that he'd wanted to kiss her and didn't; that he'd wanted to be more than friends but wasn't.

Like now.

And Zayn feels her body press against him, and he moves with her to the beat and realizes how much he's missed touching her - feeling her beneath his fingertips. He's missed the smell of her hair and the light in her eyes when she looks at him, and Zayn regrets telling Anais that he'd like to start over when he really doesn't. He really does not want to start over because what he'd like to do is pretend they'd never broken up and that they pick up exactly where they'd left off.

But, Zayn doesn't say those words.

Instead, he feels Anais' body against him and ignores the hopeful looks his friends are sending each other and ignores everyone else in the packed nightclub because he's dancing with Anais, and despite the things he's told himself over the course of the past few weeks; despite the anger and the hurt and the lack of communication, there's something painful about the thought of moving on and never doing this again. There's something about Anais that makes him believe in the possibilities of happy endings and what Zayn realizes, is that he loves this girl from the roof enough to want to put the past behind them and move on and he loves her enough to feel alright in the moment she pushes herself against him to the beat because they're talking and she's with him and she wants to be and that, surprisingly, is just fine with him.

For now.

___

I luhh dis song.

Also the neighbourhood has a new album out that we all need to go listen to.

Also gif is fire too so yeah I liked this chapter all around lolz.

Comment and vote. xx