Your POV:

Why did I come here again?? I screamed in my mind. Once again, I had entered the lunchroom with no idea of how I am going to survive the chaos Wammy's house has provided. Even in such a brilliant orphanage, there's still things I couldn't comprehend. Like why the hell I decided to sit at so called "upper class." Somebody like myself, definitely didn't belong there. Yet here I was. I always neglected this territory due to my uncomfortable being, and the fact I never know what the actual hell I'm doing. The people at this table always discussed the most bizarre and bewildering topics. I can remember one conversation that took place quite vividly, for I had happened to walk by, hearing my name being mentioned. Originally, I would've figured it was just then gossiping as expected; but they way they said my name, it was if they were nervous about me hearing them. Of course I walked over to try to decipher just what they were discussing about me. Being the socially oblivious wreck I am, I ended up eavesdropping on a lot of information I couldn't handle. Their conversation was so vulgar. It was interesting, yet so..stupid. Ever since I lingered to their table of pure curiosity. What did the popular kids have to discuss today? Usually I didn't engage in their conversations, but that changed today. "Y/n!" A cheery voice broke my colorful train of thought. "y-yes?" I asked in shock that I was being talked to. Everybody was shifting in their seats, as if my words were going to trigger a revelation. "Who would you have sex with that's in the Wammy's house?" Her voice trailed into my thoughts. I was ashamed to say, I had the biggest, stupidest liking to Near. I wasn't sure if this was information worth communicating to the popular youth. My mind spoke itself. "w-well, to be frank, if the time were to occur, it'd be..um..N-Near.." I managed to admit, swallowing the bulge in my throat. As expected, they erupted in maniacal laughter. Most girls answered with Matt Jeevas. Not a surprise at all. He was a popular guy. Unaware of my situation at the time, I tried to reason why. "W-Well look at him! He's very attractive!! He has pure snowy white hair, that I'm sure feels like velvet. He's got these gorgeous charcoal grey eyes that hide who knows what? I mean I wish I could catch a glimpse of him shirtless to be able to thoroughly describe his, probably toned body. He wears those baggy clothes, that look so very nice on him, covering every inch of him. Which is quite a shame, if I say so myself, I'd like to see him look a little more revealing.." My mind was practically drenched in fantasy ideals, and I was sharing them with the popular youth. For as much intellect I possess, I sure slipped up this time. As soon as my voice trailed off about my admiration for the Albino, that particular boy happened to slug right by. My e/c eyes twinkled with excitement. I dashed from my chair in attempt to chat with him. "Hey Near!" I happily greeted. His large eyes slowly moved back to simply gaze at me. A simple sigh passed through those pale, glistening lips of his. I wouldn't mind biting that lip.. "Greetings." he monotonously answered. My eyes fixated on his face. Soaking in every detail. "You're staring at me, y/n." He bluntly informed. My face heated up with a sprinkle of pink. "s-sorry.." I mumbled. I flickered my eyes to look at him, he was turned away, tugging his creamy white hair in between his slender pale fingers. I wouldn't mind tousling those locks.. Seriously I'm 15, should I really be thinking about this? Puberty sure is wild. I absentmindedly grabbed his small frame. Of course, the boy simply jolted with my impact. He, however did not react. At all. I hugged his slender body. Secretly noting every detail I felt. "Y/n." Near's voice snapped my attention. He chewed the edge of his voluptuous, pale, sexy, lip. I closed my eyes and simply backed away. What the hell am I gonna do now? My girly side shook me until I got physical contact with my crush. "Near, I'm so sorry..i should leave." I confirmed, mortified of my actions. What right did I have saying I'd have sex with him and hugging him so arrogantly? For a child talent I sure am stupid! I felt hot tears prick my eyes and my h/c swayed in attempt to escape this awkward conversation. I probably wasn't going to see him for a while. I should learn to contain my feelings. If I was a boy, I'd probably get an erection by looking at him, by touching him, or even thinking about him. God I'm an idiot.