requested by; unhaengilchi
type; oneshot
genre; au
member; chittaphon leechaiyapornkul / ten
word count; 3,876

__________

Much to your dismay, Ten is a huge hit among the orchestra as well, and - you guessed it - especially among the girls. And even more especially with Yeri. She is all over Ten. As if being forced to tolerate Yeri all day every day on her own isn't enough for you to deal with, you now have to tolerate her flirting with the cute guy that you and Johnny found, who happens to bother you almost as much as Yeri does, but with him, you hardly even know why. It's all just too confusing for you, and you hate it. You just want Mr. Han back.

But there's one thing that you can't deny, and it's that Ten certainly has a way with music. Logically speaking, recruiting him as your conductor was an excellent move. He picks up on the music just as fast as he seemed to think he would, and he's conducting it flawlessly by his second attempt - the first one was just a "warm-up."

As practice goes on, many qualities emerge from Ten, some that you quickly grow to like - for example, the way he lets you all use your phones in between songs and eat food - and others that you rapidly grow to hate - like how he talks to Yeri when she flirts with him instead of ignoring her, and most of all, how he always seems to single you and your section out.

At first it's just once. And then it's just twice. And then it's five times. And then, on the third day of practice, it's him asking your section to stay after hours to rehearse your part more, the request being made after giving you in particular the fifth piece of "constructive criticism" of the day.

You don't speak throughout the extra hours. You simply take his criticism, take Yeri's laughter when he points out something you could do better, and play your heart out.

But it's on the fourth day when your annoyance and temper get the best of you.

Everyone's nerves are on edge, considering this is the last dress rehearsal before the concert the very next day. Ten is throwing around loads of constructive criticism, which would be fine if it were equally distributed. It would be fine if about 90% of it wasn't directed at you. But it is. So it isn't fine in your mind.

The last straw is when Ten approaches you as you're placing your violin into your case for the last time this day, and he requests for you to stay after while everyone else leaves for some extra practice.

You sigh, removing your violin from your case, narrowing your eyes at Yeri as she laughs, telling you to have fun, before exiting the music hall.

"If you hate my playing so much, why the fuck you keeping me in the first chair?" You mumble, thinking you're being quiet enough to go un-detected. Clearly you're wrong, because Ten's eyes shoot up from the music he's looking at.

"Excuse me?"

"Nevermind," you mumble.

"No, I wasn't being fresh, I really didn't hear you. Could you speak up?" He asks. At first you can't tell whether he's messing with you or not. But you sense the sincerity in his gaze, so you sigh.

"I just said, if you hate my playing so much, why do you keep me as a first-chair violinist? You're the conductor now. You have the power to move my position down."

Ten returns the music papers to his stand, raising an eyebrow at you.

"When did I say I hated your playing?"

"Alright, maybe you just hate me," you scoff slightly.

"Mmm...I don't recall saying that, either."

"Okay, then what's your problem?"

"Who says there's a problem?" Ten asks, nonchalantly twirling his baton between his fingertips. The way he stays so calm during an argument is simultaneously infuriating you and intriguing you.

"You do. Literally every time I pick up my bow, you tell me I'm doing something wrong."

"I never say you're doing anything wrong. I just tell you that you could be doing something better. Doesn't mean you're doing it wrong."

"Okay, but why me? You never criticize anyone else. You never criticize Yeri," The mention of her name brings a disgusted look to your face, and an amused one to Ten's.

"What's this have to do with Yeri? If I don't criticize anyone, why'd you bring up Yeri in particular?"

"Because she's a bitch."

Ten simply chuckles at this, angering you further.

"Come on, Chittaphon. You can't pretend like you don't hear her laugh every time you single me out, like you don't hear her insult me constantly."

Ten grins slightly at the use of his real name, which you hardly even noticed that you used. It must have just slipped because you like the sound of it, so you call him that in your head, sometimes.

"Of course, I hear it. Everyone does. Subtlety isn't really her strong suit," he laughs again, and you laugh along this time, but in disbelief.

"Of course you hear it. That's even worse."

"What do you mean?"

"You're trying to convince me you don't hate me, while telling me that you hear Yeri ridiculing me every day, and you do nothing to interfere?"

"It isn't my place to interfere."

"You're our conductor!"

"I'm a college student, Y/N, like you've kindly pointed out on numerous occasions. I'm literally one year older than you! If I go around acting like your protector, everyone's gonna think I'm choosing favorites! Not to mention, I didn't want to embarrass you further. But if you wanted me to treat you like a baby and defend you against Yeri, who - may I point out - is only nineteen, then you should've told me."

"I don't want you to treat me like a baby," you mutter.

"Good, that's what I thought. Then stick up for yourself."

"I can't. I can't insult her back, she's younger than me, and I didn't want you to call me out for it."

"Why would I call you out for it? I don't care how old she is, she's a bitch. If you stick up for yourself, I'll have your back."

"Pfft, like you've ever had my back," you scoff.

"Right, in the whopping four days I've known you, I haven't had your back. The only chance I've had to show you I have your back is by sticking up for you against Yeri the little kid. And like I've said, if you wanted me to baby you, you should have asked."

"I don't want you to baby me!"

"Then what the hell do you want from me?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" You scream. Both of you fall silent after this, and all that's heard is both of your heavy breathing from the yelling. You feel your face flush with embarrassment, realizing you screwed up. Everything Ten said made sense. There's nothing he could have done without making it look like you needed protecting from him, which would have made you feel even worse. He had actually taken the time to consider that. And here you were, yelling at him, assuming he just didn't care about you and wanted to pick on you. You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out, so Ten takes a deep breath and talks first.

"Well, whatever it is, it clearly isn't extra music lessons, so you can just leave," Ten sighs, slipping his baton into the velvety case he has for it.

"Ten, wait..."

Ten looks at you expectantly, but you don't know what to say. Staying after will be awkward now that you just fought. When you don't speak after a moment, Ten extends his arm, pointing towards the exit. You sigh, lowering your head in shame, before returning your violin to it's case, buckling it up, and heading for the door.

"Oh, and by the way," Ten calls out, just as you're about to exit, "The reason I single you out so much is because you're good. I haven't seen another violinist like you in my life. You're like me. You don't just play the music like the rest of the orchestra, you feel the music. You know how to lose yourself in it - your playing has emotion. It just needs a little more precision, and you'll be unstoppable. I wouldn't be wasting my time giving you extra pointers if I didn't think you were a mile better than the rest of them."

You don't even know how to respond to this. It chokes you up. Once again, no words come to mind when you open my mouth, so you just stand there looking stupid.

"See you tomorrow," Ten says quietly, gathering his stuff and putting it into his backpack.

You nod, hanging your head once again and leaving the music hall.

For the past four days, your anger towards Ten has been building up, and you've wanted nothing more than to just scream at him and put him in his place. Now you've accomplished screaming at him, but you certainly haven't put him in his place, because he was already in his place. Instead of leaving the music hall feeling like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, you drive home feeling stupid, humiliated, guilty, and altogether miserable.

__________

The next afternoon - the afternoon of the concert - your pace around your room anxiously, not feeling prepared at all. Physically, yes - you know the music like the back of your hand, and speaking your hand, it knows how to play the music flawlessly, due to you practicing so much that it's become muscle memory. But mentally - not at all. You've never gone into a performance not feeling completely prepared until now. And you accredit it 100% to Ten. Or your dispute with him, anyway.

You're snapped out of your thoughts as your phone dings. It's Johnny - he's outside your apartment building waiting to pick you up. The two of you always carpool to events to save gas and stuff, and your buildings are right next to each other.

You straighten up your hair one more time, check your makeup in the mirror, and smooth out your simple white dress before grabbing your violin case and rushing out of your apartment and down the stairs, trying your best not to trip in your heels. You hurry to Johnny's car and jump in, shutting the door behind you, panting.

"Took you long enough," Johnny jokes, glancing at his watch as if you're late.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Y/N, I'm kidding. You arrived about ten milliseconds after I texted you that I was here. I don't even know how you do that," he laughs, shaking his head, before glancing at you as he starts up the car and whistling. "Damn, someone's looking sexy."

You blush slightly, rolling your eyes at your friend. "It's just a simple- oh, woops..." You follow his eyes to wear the neckline of your dress is hanging a bit low, revealing more cleavage than you intended to show. You quickly move to pull it up higher. "Forgot this dress has a bit of a low neckline- Johnny, stop staring!" You smack his arm, causing him to laugh as he pulls out of the parking lot and into the street.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Hey, I'm sure Ten's gonna enjoy the view," He nudges you slightly, wiggling his eyebrows, and you frown at him.

"Ten? Johnny, what the fuck are you talking about? Ten literally hates me."

"Mmm, I wouldn't be so sure about that. Yeri was going on about how he kept you after practice in the parking lot yesterday. What was that all about?"

"Alright, you can drop the suggestive tone in your voice. It literally consisted of me screaming-"

Johnny cuts you off by making another suggestive face at you, causing you to sigh exasperatedly and smack his arm again.

"Jesus Christ, Johnny, I actually hate you. As I was trying to say, it consisted of me screaming at him for absolutely no reason and totally humiliating myself when he was just trying to help me because he thinks I'm an amazing violinist. Even better than Yeri!"

"I didn't hear anything in there indicating that he doesn't like you, " Johnny points out.

"But nothing indicating that he does, either. He just thinks I'm a good musician. Not to mention, if he even liked me in a friendly way before, he certainly doesn't, now. I totally blew any chance I had of him liking me in any way," you mumble, sighing heavily.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Can't hurt," you mutter, before proceeding to tell Johnny the entire story of what happened yesterday afternoon after he left practice. Johnny listens like the good friend he is, simply nodding occasionally.

"That sucks," he murmurs after, not knowing what else to say.

You laugh slightly, the worry from earlier this morning starting to set back in. "Johnny, the argument affected me a lot. I can barely focus today. What if Ten is feeling the same way? What if he can't conduct us properly, and it's all my fault?"

"Come on, don't think like that-"

"I'm not anymore. That was stupid. There's no way I'm even important enough for him to give our argument any thought," you sigh.

"Alright, well you just changed your mind rather quickly. He fought with one of his violinists and he's the conductor - we're his responsibility now, even if it's only temporary. I'm sure he's worrying about it regardless of how much he cares about you personally."

"Which is a bad thing. If we screw up this concert, it's my fault," you groan, burying your face in your hands.

"That's not true, Y/N, stop telling yourself that. Just...just wait until we get there. Maybe you can talk it out with Ten before we get onstage."

__________

You rush around frantically backstage, asking everyone if they've seen Ten. Nobody has. A mild panic is starting to settle over you as your brain begins to jump to wild conclusions. You back yourself into a corner, running your hands through your hair nervously

"He probably ditched. I bet he ditched," you mutter to yourself.

"It's possible. Or maybe he was just in the bathroom," a smooth voice speaks up from next to you, dripping with amusement, and startling you out of your mind.

"Holy shit! Ten- you scared me!"

"I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention," Ten laughs.

Your humiliation sets in after a moment.

"S-Sorry for assuming you ditched. I-I mean, I know you would never ditch, I was just panicking because of-"

"The fight yesterday, yes. I was a bit worried you'd ditch, too, but you proved me wrong in a good way."

You nod, tucking your hair behind your ear, trying to think of a good way to apologize.

"You look beautiful," Ten says quietly, surprising you even more than when he scared you a minute ago. You quickly glance down, thinking your neckline slipped lower again, but it didn't. The dress is in the right place. Ten just thinks you look beautiful. You can't help the blush that creeps onto your cheeks, and you hope that it's dark enough backstage that he can't see.

"Oh, umm...t-thanks, I...you- I mean...you too."

You mentally face-palm yourself. You too? You're not supposed to tell guys they look beautiful, idiot.

Ten simply laughs.

"I-I meant-"

"I know what you meant. Thank you," he smiles.

You nod, smiling back, because you weren't just saying that. Ten looks absolutely stunning. He somehow manages to look elegant but intimidating at the same time. The elegant part makes sense what with his pretty-boy looks, but you don't know how he gets the intimidating part - he isn't even that tall. It's just something about his aura.

You've almost forgotten about the fight yesterday, until he clears his throat.

"Hey, about yesterday-"

"I'm so sorry. I was meaning to talk to you about that. I-I had no reason to yell at you, or to be upset in the first place. I was reading everything wrong, a-and I thought...I just...I don't even know what I was thinking, I was just angry for some reason. I'm sorry. You've been a really good conductor."

"It's alright, Y/N, you don't have to apologize. You're entitled to your feelings. You're the opposite of me in that sense - you express your feelings almost too well, and I'm not good at expressing mine. Except through music and conducting. So sometimes when I...you know, like people...it comes off like I don't."

Ten must be able to sense the confused look on your face, because he continues.

"I-I mean, like with you, for example, it came off like I hated you or your playing, but I didn't mean for it to. Sometimes when I really like someone, it ends up looking like I hate them, I don't know how."

You cock your head to the side, still trying to process what he's talking about.

"That didn't really make any sense. But I don't hate you, if you still think that," Ten pats your shoulder awkwardly before walking past you and onto the stage where the curtains are still closed. "Good luck out there. You'll do great."

You rush onto stage after him and take your seat in the first row, seeing as the concert is about to start. You tap your foot nervously, trying to decode what Ten was attempting to say. When he likes people, it seems like he doesn't? Well it seemed like he didn't like me...was he trying to say that he does? And what kind of 'like'?

Your train of thought is interrupted by the curtains being drawn, but it doesn't worry you. Ten isn't angry at you. You aren't angry at him. There's nothing to prevent this performance from running smoothly.

And it does. You can tell Ten loses himself in the music as soon as it starts, and the emotion he puts into his conducting astonishes you - if you thought he was passionate during rehearsals, you hadn't seen anything yet. You focus on every smooth flick of his wrist, finally understanding what he was trying to teach you this past week. You can see it in the way he conducts. It's fluid, emotional - but also precise and perfectly in-time. It reminds you of him. You keep up with the precision of the rhythm, but really let your emotion come through, and you can tell that this is what he was aiming for you to achieve during practice.

The concert flies by. You let out a relieved breath as you finally draw out the last note, removing your bow from the strings in time with the rest of the orchestra. The melodic sound of the music is instantly replaced with clapping from the audience.

Your eyes are drawn to Ten, a small part of you hoping he's already looking at you. But he isn't. He's focusing on...pulling something out of his coat? All you can see is a flash of red and green from inside his coat and suddenly, he's holding a rose. A perfectly in-tact gleaming red rose. And he's...handing it to you?

You're too stunned to accept it for a moment. Is he really handing it to me? You glance around to inspect the other people around you, but no - he's definitely looking at you.

The crowd roars with applause upon seeing this, even getting to their feet for a standing ovation. Someone - unmistakably Johnny - wolf-whistles from the bass section. You shakily extend your hand and take the rose from Ten, before he turns to the crowd and takes a bow, causing them to go wild. You could almost pass out from the overwhelmingness of the situation, but you stand with the rest of the orchestra to take a bow, before exiting the stage in synchronization, the crowd still cheering madly behind you.

The after-party is incredible, but you're still clinging to the rose Ten gave you, not sure what to think of it. After walking around for a minute, you feel a hand on your shoulder. You jump slightly and turn around to find Ten, smiling.

"I have to stop scaring you like that," he laughs.

"Yeah, you do," you giggle slightly.

"Hey, Y/N, can I talk to you outside for a minute?"

You glance around the party; everyone seems to be absorbed in the food or their own conversations, so you nod.

"Yeah, sure."

Ten takes your hand - yes, your hand - and leads you to the door. The night sky glimmers with stars above you, and the air is crisp and fresh. Ten shuts the door behind you, taking a deep breath, but not speaking. After a minute you clear your throat.

"Are you gonna talk, or can I?"

"Go ahead," Ten says, gesturing with his hand that it's okay for me to talk first.

"Alright, mind explaining what this is?" you ask, holding up the rose. Ten laughs slightly.

"It's a rose."

"Yeah, I got that, smart-ass. Why'd you give it to me?"

Ten takes another deep breath before speaking, looking at the ground instead of at you.

"Because I think you're beautiful. And I think you're nice, and I think you're really funny. And I think you're intelligent. And you remind me of myself in so many ways, but you contrast me in so many others, and it's a really weird combination, but I think that I really like it."

You're taken aback by Ten's words.

"W-What are trying to say?"

"I think you know what I'm trying to say."

"You just explained your confession before you even made it," you laugh slightly, still in awe at what's happening and the incredible way he described it.

"I already told you, I'm not good at this kind of stuff...I'm not good at explaining what I'm feeling, or even figuring out what I'm feeling, because it hasn't happened to me before. But I think I understand what's been happening now."

You nod slightly, still staring at him blankly, as if waiting for him to continue and fully make his confession so there's absolutely no way you could be mistaken. But you're soon assured that you aren't mistaken about what he's trying to say in another way, because before you know it, Ten is leaning in to kiss you.

And you let him. Because you've come to realize in the past few days is that you don't hate Ten quite as much as you thought you did. Maybe you hated his guts in the beginning, jumped to some conclusions about him being an asshole, and he proved you very wrong. 

Or maybe, he isn't the only one who's bad at coming to terms with his emotions. Maybe the only reason you were hurt in the first place when he wasn't extra nice to you was because you liked him the entire time. 

Either way, in this moment, you can't think of a more perfect ending to a perfect performance.

You both finally pull away from the kiss, panting ever so slightly, your noses still touching. What Ten mutters next physically makes your heart hurt with the flood of emotions.

"I once thought that I was only able to lose myself in music. I now see that I was indeed wrong."